Ah

[fabmax]

Ah
by fabmax ©

Ah this blank page
tonight my canvass
The candles are my only light
And a light jasmine incense burns
I strain to see,
Everybody wants to hear someone,
Talk when something feels,
I am strangely calm now, and
I listen to music that always
Takes me back to you,
Perhaps tonight tears, or sighs
of the abyss of love you have always given
I really care, why do I have to be so in love for someone
I want, and everybody needs
Do I know why your essence
Haunts my home, you are here
And will be forever.

Ah the page not so blank
The beautiful pungent rosemary that dries
Clears my head............so many memories
They are beautiful, they can never be changed
I love so precious and cherished they
hang from my heart.
You and I such star-crossed lovers
I only hope we are given another chance
Whether now, in the shadows
Or if you choose to dance!

love for jer 12/10/04 8:44pm Toronto

 

[WickedEve]

This is quite good. I like a lot of the lines in this one. I think if you revised this a little, you'd have a really fine poem. Here's one simple edit: Get rid of this ............

If you want a pause, then try:
Ah, the page is not so blank.
The beautiful pungent rosemary that dries,
clears my head--so many memories.
They are beautiful
and can never be changed.

or maybe:
Ah, the page is not so blank.
The beautiful pungent rosemary that dries,
clears my head.
So many memories,
they are beautiful
and can never be changed.

 

[Liar]

I must say that I do like the title. I'll dig deeper into the poem later.