Ah the unwanted visitors...

[Cherrysweetdeal]

You know the ones that come to your door preaching certain things, the ones who sell cookies(I used to do that) and the ones who overall just don't go away unless you slam the door in their faces. This also applies to the ones who call right during supper to ask if you have time to do a survey.

If you could say absolutely anything to them what would it be?

My response today probably would've been "Yea I've found god.... just let me ask the rest of my gay and bisexual orgy if they have."

Are there any responses that you know people have given to telemarketers and what not?...

 

[be_ignited]

Answer the door naked.

as for telemarketers, I usually answer the phone in spanish and tell them I don't speak english.

 

[tealsphynx]

I have a grandfather who was studying to be ordained. He really enjoys bringing in the Christ people and debating with them. It normally ends up with them leaving red-faced.

As for telemarketers I like to be polite right up until they get to the "For only fourty easy payments of $9.99" crap. Then I give them one chance to go away. I politely tell them I'm not interested. If they continue the advertising bullshit I tell them "Cut the bull shit I told you I'm not interested. Now, I'd like to have my number removed from your listings. I'll give you 30 days to do so. If I recieve another call from your company I'm contacty my lawyer." They back stroke so quickly I swear they're walking on water. then they promise me they'll remove my number and I hang up. Now guys that show up at the door. If it's kids with a school fundraiser i hear them out. Based on their presentation I buy or not buy. I had a couple of girls from the local cheercamp come up and ask me if I wanted to bu a raffle ticket for $25 and then they listed the prize. They didn't say what the raffle ticket was for. Sorry, I don't buy random stuff. non-kids I normally shut the door on them mid schpiel.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Irrespective of Business or Religious Diatribe and depending on whether its the door or phone............project a confident smile bordering on laugh and advise them you work in the same field but for a different Company ( easily adapted for religion ).

This has worked ever single time for me. It works on several levels, everything from not sharing info with the competition through to can't sell ice to the Antarctic principle. Always keep its vague and exude confidence as if the coincidence amuses you greatly. Its also reasonably polite and saves on stress.

 

[shy slave]

My son works in telesales.

He sits all day on the phone trying to sell replacement windows, conservatories etc

He is regularly told to fuck off.

At Easter someone who ranted about it being a Christian festival then told him to fuck off.

He wishes people would be more inventive when they are expressing their wish for him to go away

*sigh*

 

[chris9]

I always feel bad for the people who have to call. Most likely they are students like me and need the money the job gives them. I politely tell them that I'm not interested, wish them a nice day and hang up. At the moment it's not so many real callers though as computer voices telling me I won. I like those better as I can hang up after the first word and don't feel bad for the person on the other end of the line.

 

[fieryjen]

I told the girls-gone-wild survey dude on the phone that I was twelve.

He didn't check if I was over eighteen before rattling down his survey questions, so he deserved it.




Oh, and me and S. have Mormons living in the apartment next door. Every few months, new Mormons move in and try to convert us. Every single time, we try to beat them to it and have the wildest, most obnoxiously loud sex right next to the wall our place shares with theirs.

 

[Miss Diva]

We have had too many home invasions here. So we open the window and ask what they want. My mother does not even bother to open the door after the sun goes down. When family and friends come over they call from the their cell phone and say they are at the door.

And the best, the telemarketer have my deceased father on their telemarketing lists and when they ask for my father, my mother says he's dead, they hang up right away.

 

[the captians wench]

We have had too many home invasions here. So we open the window and ask what they want. My mother does not even bother to open the door after the sun goes down. When family and friends come over they call from the their cell phone and say they are at the door.

And the best, the telemarketer have my deceased father on their telemarketing lists and when they ask for my father, my mother says he's dead, they hang up right away.

One year after my step dad died we got all kinds of telemarketer calls for him. I think I made one guy cry once cause when I answered the phone I just started balling and going on about how he died and that he was more of a father to me than my "real" dad and so on. For the most part I was upset, it was on the aniversery of his death so the nerves were a bit frayed. The guy appologized, and I told him that we had mentioned before that the man they were calling for was dead and that these calls were upsetting my mom (which was all true), and so he got really appologetic and said he'd remove the number from the lists.

The real people don't bother me so much. For the most part they are nice enough and I can just say that I rent my apt, or what ever and they go away. What I hate is the computer calls that tell you to call back! I'm like if this really was an important call then you would have called me your self or at the very least had the computer call and pick up when I answered. I hate those!

Jounar is one of those that calls people about servays. When he tells me about how no one would take this one or what ever and how it makes the day drag on I tell him I'd be glad to take one of his servays, but I think I'm a bit out of his target market. (only by a few thousand miles tho). I could listen to his voice all day and all night. *dreamy sigh*

as for door peoples, other than kids, usually one look at my collar and they leave.

 

[Aeroil]

I just hang up on "teh phone" - as we say in the computer field

At the door I just say that the owners are not here. cuz if they are they answer the door and I don't bother.