African girl maid for English rose

[sarahscarlettlondonsmith]

Would like some feedback please on my writing with the first 3 stories i have ever released, having just gone online. These are chapters 1 and 2 of African girl maid for English rose and African girl spanked by Scarlett. I did put these stories in to the 'mind control' category but they have been listed under lesbian sex. I tend to write with flirtatious detail rather than in depth, but using my own experiences in life as a cue. Would like all opinions, thanks Sarah

 

[Auden James]

Since you didn't join the critique queue, this should be moved to 'story feedback', shouldn't it?

 

[racheldearest]

Look, I like your concept, and normally I like interracial lesbian stories, but I found your story to be terribly racist. I mean, "...black girls lack that air of virginity." Really? I'm black and was kind of offended by that. You should clean up statements like that, and then it'll be better.