Advice wanted

[Control_one]

So, I'm not really a writer, I gave writing a couple attempts and I found that my dialogue for characters is so bland and awkward. That I'll never let it see the light of day.

With dialogue out, has a diary format really worked for a story?
[probably should note that for this story would both include the diaries of the MC and antagonist complicating it further.]

I also may have bitten off more that i can chew, I went big with my outline.
act 1 16 events [timelined]
act 2 24 events [timelined]
act 3 22 events [ 50% timelined]
act 4 3 events so far,

Last issue is that i don't really understand the motivation for people to cam [ i'm talking about sites like omegle where you aren't getting paid for it] , and i kind of made it an important aspect to Act 1 and i think its acting as a roadblock for me.

So kinda just looking for thoughts/ advice, before i start spending a serious amount of time on this.
1] feasibility dairy style
2] is my mountain of planned events a hill to tall to climb
3] would it be better just to post the giant mess here a story idea for someone to take up the mantle, as that i think it could make a decent story i just don't know if i can write it in an appealing way.
4] underlying phycological motivations for non paid Caming, besides being an exhibitionist.

Brief rundown of the plot:
Ellie [Elenore] Murphy, was homeschooled by her religous overcontoling, emotionally abuseive mother from the age of 8-10 to the summer before Ellie's senor year. Mom gets sent to prison when abuse is found out. Ellie is now enrolled in public school, and is now 18 and all on her own.

Mean Girls: every year they choose a girl to be thier victim for the year, and the antagonist [Bri] chooses Ellie out of envy of Ellie's appearance. Bri acts as the nice friend while the whole time misleading and warping Ellie's preception on sexuality's.

This is a story of an innocent naïve virgin, to town slut, though emotional manipulation, addiction, deception, trickery, with outlandish moments provided by murphy's law [what can go wrong will]

the acts each have their own progression in the process.
1] Setting the snare: putting ellie into sexual situations to broaden her horizon and gaslighting her into believing they are normal, and any wrongness she feels is just leftover indoctrination from her mother.

2] Luring the Prey [making a whore]: After act 1 ellie is nolonger a virgin, but the next step for Bri is warping Ellie's perspective and actions further into a public slut so that she will always be below her [envy and fear of being replaced are primary motivations] Here Ellie will end up in increasingly public sexual activities in both observers and participants

3] Ellie Entangled [destroying ellie] Here Bri sets up Ellie to have sex with the most aggressive of mean girl's crush, publicly. This results with a full on bully campaign of emotional abuse, betrayal, submission, magnetic bondage, sex slavery.

The shortened descriptions of the plot are a lot more brutal sound, when its actually more about psychological manipulation.

 

[yukonnights]

So, I'm not really a writer, I gave writing a couple attempts and I found that my dialogue for characters is so bland and awkward. That I'll never let it see the light of day.

With dialogue out, has a diary format really worked for a story?
[probably should note that for this story would both include the diaries of the MC and antagonist complicating it further.]

I also may have bitten off more that i can chew, I went big with my outline.
act 1 16 events [timelined]
act 2 24 events [timelined]
act 3 22 events [ 50% timelined]
act 4 3 events so far,

Last issue is that i don't really understand the motivation for people to cam [ i'm talking about sites like omegle where you aren't getting paid for it] , and i kind of made it an important aspect to Act 1 and i think its acting as a roadblock for me.

So kinda just looking for thoughts/ advice, before i start spending a serious amount of time on this.
1] feasibility dairy style
2] is my mountain of planned events a hill to tall to climb
3] would it be better just to post the giant mess here a story idea for someone to take up the mantle, as that i think it could make a decent story i just don't know if i can write it in an appealing way.
4] underlying phycological motivations for non paid Caming, besides being an exhibitionist.

First, I'd like to say that you can probably work on your dialogue. Get a little help, read a bit online, etc. It seems a shame that you have this desire, but may be unable to fulfill it.

1) Diary style feasibility; I would never say that anything is impossible, given the many creative people in the world. However, IMO it would be hard to make it immersive for the reader. By it's nature, a diary is very much a "telling" of past events rather than a reader getting drawn into the "action" of a story.

2) The mountain of ideas; No it's not too high. This is especially true since you have lived the things you wish to write about. It can be approached as small complete stories or as a larger work of many individual Parts/Chapters. (note that Literotica does have a minimum word count for stories. 750 words, as I recall.)

3) I think it's unlikely that someone would want to take on such a collection of diary entries. Even though they may be complete to you, a stranger would have to build make-believe characters and settings. No doubt some of the ideas on this Forum get shaped into stories, but I also suspect many never do. I know that I've never used one.

4) The psychological motivations question is beyond my pay grade Since there is no monetary incentive, it's all for personal (psychological) benefit.
***
Perhaps you could explain in more detail what your troubles are with writing dialogue? It's likely someone could give you some pointers/advice, etc. Don't give up.

 

[Control_one]

Elaborating on 4.
I know its for psychological benefit, then but i want to know what aspects of it are alluring to people who part take in it, as that i want to see which of those aspects i could incorporate into ellie to make her more receptive of it.

Just to clerify.
the story at this point isn't actually in diary format, its spread out between 3 word documants [outline, pov style of 2 events, diary of 6 events] and an excel spreadsheet with 10 sheets of different notes, for characters, locations, events. probably even less appealing, than a finished diary write up

 

[yukonnights]

Only thing that comes to mind is perhaps reading up on the psychology of exhibitionism? I have no idea as it's not something I'm into personally. A couple of uneducated thoughts; 1. It's positive body affirmation. 2. It's a power thrill to hold other people's arousal in the palm of your hand, so to speak.

Have you fleshed out Ellie? Is she self-confident or is does she lack confidence? Her desire to perform will probably be shaded and shaped by her main personality traits.