Advice please

jaxsteeples

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Jun 29, 2010
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I'm writing my novel in erratic, out-of-sequence chunks. Not everyone here will like it. It has a strong story and the erotic content is slow to build up. If you like a shot of neat erotica there are thousands of stories here that get straight down into it . I want to explore characters. I want to explore the perversity of human belief systems that play a role in the cycle of war. I also want to ask the question how far would you go for the person you love? I'm not even sure I'm going to include this, please tell me what you think.

Three months after our first meeting, somewhere in North Nottinghamshire, Jasmine and I will be holed up inside a half- constructed barn conversion. It's getting dark, huge gobs of rain are splashing down from the bare rafters overhead. I’m peering through the steamed-up scope of Barrat M107 Anti Tank Rifle. All I glimpse are momentary lights with comets tails. They like slow meteors, tracers moving across and above the ground heading towards us. We have twenty one rounds of Armor Piercing Incendiary left . The squad of angels are circling, zeroing in. Angels are almost impossible to put down but there are weaknesses in their body armor and when these fuckers go up they burn, like gasoline.

Jasmine starts to get up. I grab her wrist to stop her. Angel snipers rarely miss. There are at least two on the low hillside covering the advancing group.

"I’m surrendering Charlie, now. I’m an officer. They will follow rules of capture and treatment."

Jasmine effortlessly extracts her wrist from my grip and places her hand gently on my forearm.

My eyes must have been pleading with her because she's gazing at me like I’m a child. It's one single look distilling milennia of her existence. Her hand is warm and I realize I've been shivering.

"We can't fight them, not like this. They will capture me, then they will torture and kill you." She sighs, maybe at the sheer cosmic stupidity of it all. " They enjoy this stuff Charlie."

She leaned forward, kissed me on the lips, flooding my cold body with warmth. When we broke apart stared me hard in the eyes . There would be no more arguing with her.

"Charlie, This is what you do next: You don’t look for me . You don’t come after me. You run now, and . . . you forget me."

She tilted her head to one side starring into me as if trying to will my thoughts into agreement.

"You promise me you will do this ?"

I swallowed, closed my eyes. My body was shaking violently. When I said "Yes" , it was the hardest lie of my life.

Without another word Jasmine stood up , placed her hands on her head and began walking towards the plowed field in the direction of the lights . Like grotesque fireflies the angel-lights had reached the drystone wall and were taking up their positions at the boundary of the field two hundred meters
away. Somewhere deep inside me each step she took felt like a blade striking on bone.

Ten steps out , a round slammed into the ground spraying her with a geyser of mud. She didn’t even flinch. My last sight of her was raising her hands higher and turning a three hundred and sixty to show she wasn’t wired with explosives. It was balletic and beautiful and the image burned itself into my consciousness. Cold rain trickled down my face mingling with hot tears.

I willed myself up . I sprinted over the broken bricks in the yard, across the narrow track and threw myself down the embankment, sliding slithering on my belly through mud , nettles and builders waste.

What I really said to myself? "Do I fuck promise anything like this. You know what I’m going to do? I going to RV with your unit , procure a heap of Semtex , enough Kevlar corded ropes and then I’m going start taking out the gates of hell .

It was the outline of a plan.
 
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