Advice needed

[Calamity Jane]

For those of you who have left a long term relationship... help me out.

1. How long had you been together?
2. What 'incident', if any, convinvced you that it was time for you to leave?
3. Where did you go?
4. Did you take your children with you?
5. Why?
6. Why not?
7. What did you do about pets/possessions/etc. left behind?
8. How did you survive financially? (esp if you took the kids)
9. How did you explain to your children what was happening?
10. Did your family support your decision?
11. If not, how did you deal with that?
12. Did you file for divorce right away?
13. Based on your experience, what would you do differently?
14. Did any of you kick the other person out, rather than moving?
15. How did you actually get them to leave the house?
16. How did you protect your children from the ugliness?
17. What bases haven't I covered?

 

[freakygirl]

1. How long had you been together?
7 years

2. What 'incident', if any, convinvced you that it was time for you to leave?
We woke up one day and decided we weren't in love, although we loved each other, it wasn't enough to be married. A little hard to explain.

3. Where did you go?
I moved into a motel, we were buying his parents house. It was still legally their house, so i felt i should leave.

4. Did you take your children with you?
Not at first, but after i got myself settled and into a house, yes i took them

5. Why?
see above

6. Why not?
see above

7. What did you do about pets/possessions/etc. left behind? After i got into my house, i went to the house and he helped me move it all to my apartment.

8. How did you survive financially? (esp if you took the kids)
I was working at the time, and he helped out also

9. How did you explain to your children what was happening?
I really don't remember, that was so long ago.

10. Did your family support your decision?
yes they did. my parents were great and helped me alot

11. If not, how did you deal with that?
doesn't apply

12. Did you file for divorce right away?
We seperated in November, divorce was final in May.

13. Based on your experience, what would you do differently? Nothing everything has worked out wonderful. He is still my best friend, so is his wife. They even spend every other Sunday at my house for dinner. Spending Thanksgiving this year with them also.

14. Did any of you kick the other person out, rather than moving?
doesn't apply

15. How did you actually get them to leave the house?
doesn't apply

16. How did you protect your children from the ugliness?
doesn't apply

17. What bases haven't I covered?
none that i can think of

 

[Calamity Jane]

Thank you

I can understand the reasoning behind you leaving... the concept of love not being enough to remain married is an easy concept for me to understand.

Anyway, thanks for your reply, sounds like things worked out well for your entire family. I hope mine works out that well.

 

[freakygirl]

Good Luck

The relationship with my ex and his wife is very rare.

I hope all works out for you.

 

[Elizabeth]

1. How long had you been together? Married 7 years but he left after 6.
2. What 'incident', if any, convinvced you that it was time for you to leave? He left and moved in with his gf after beating the tar out of me.
3. Where did you go? I stayed in our house. He left.
4. Did you take your children with you? Children stayed with me.
5. Why? He told me he didn't feel like "parenting" any more. Too hard.

7. What did you do about pets/possessions/etc. left behind? He took a great deal with him when he moved out.

8. How did you survive financially? (esp if you took the kids) Worked my ass off.

9. How did you explain to your children what was happening? They were 1 and 5 at the time. I just told them their dad left and I kept things as normal as possible.

10. Did your family support your decision? YES

11. If not, how did you deal with that?
12. Did you file for divorce right away? YES

13. Based on your experience, what would you do differently? I'd do a few legal things diffrent but on the whole, I wouldn't change much.

14. Did any of you kick the other person out, rather than moving? He left with the police not far behind.

15. How did you actually get them to leave the house? He came back alot, late at night to harrass me. I got a restraining order.

16. How did you protect your children from the ugliness? I kept as much from them as I could.

17. What bases haven't I covered? All I can add is work out as much as you can with your STBX. Makes the whole process easier.

 

[Desert Amazon]