Advice for parents of newborns

[Weird Harold]

With two new arrivals, and several others on the way, I thought it might be a good idea to share some secrets of child-rearing as it applies to newborns.

My bit of advice:

As son as you hear the first syllables of "Oooo iddit ooo da pidddiest widdle baby," or anything similar, drive them back where they came from with a wiffle-ball bat.

Kids start learning how to talk about the same time their eyes start to focus on things. They learn to talk by learning to assign meaning to th sounds they hear.

If you ban "baby talk" your child will talk sooner and better than you would ever believe possible -- as much as two years sooner than their peers.

 

[Pokerman]

Personally, as a father of two kids, I always wanted to bitch slap whoever thought up the phrase "Slept like a baby".

Whats that mean? you woke up every two hours crying and screaming?

of course, i wouldn't mind if every two hours a woman stuck a nipple in my mouth and let me suck for 20 minutes....

 

[daughter]

If they aren't bleeding and nothing's

broken, relax. They'll live and you have a few nerves more for them to wear out. LOL

Kids don't come with manuals and even if they did the directions would read like Greek, so take a deep breath, and realize they don't know anymore how this thing is suppose to go than you do. I'd say knowing this makes you the wiser.

When you get all that baby/kid advice, just nod politely. Folks shut quicker then.

Trust that you're giving your child your best. If later they decide you've failed, tell them they'll have a chance to 'outdo' you with their own. Don't forget to give them a wicked smile with that admonishment.

Under no circumstance forget for too long your own relationship. Divorce isn't exactly giving the kid a stable environment. Single parents manage. It ain't the best slice. No matter how you cut it.


How's that WH?

Peace,

daughter

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: If they aren't bleeding and nothing's

broken, relax. They'll live and you have a few nerves more for them to wear out. LOL
...
When you get all that baby/kid advice, just nod politely. Folks shut quicker then.
...
How's that WH?

The initial advice is good, but I'm trying to get them to listen to unsolicited advice -- not explain the best way to ignore it.

I wouldn't be averse to a discussion starting about why a particular bit of advice is good or bad.

 

[daughter]

Re: Re: If they aren't bleeding and nothing's

I wouldn't be averse to a discussion starting about why a particular bit of advice is good or bad.

Come on, WH. You were never overwhelmed or irritated by well wishers? LOL

You have a little experience so do I. Of course, I love discussing child-rearing and the challenges of parenting. I also have some experience and confidence under my belt.

Name the topic, peer. I'm there.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Weird Harold]

Come on, WH. You were never overwhelmed or irritated by well wishers? LOL

Actually, I listened politely and took what advice as seemed worth considering.

A corollary of my original advice:

Children can understand "NO" long before they can say it."

 

[daughter]

Me, too

I did listen. And what I thought was in keeping with my values and beliefs I adopted.

I didn't mean to imply blanket rejection. My point is not to become overwhelmed with the information and unsolicited advice.

Peace,

daughter

 

[morninggirl5]

With two new arrivals, and several others on the way, I thought it might be a good idea to share some secrets of child-rearing as it applies to newborns.

My bit of advice:

As son as you hear the first syllables of "Oooo iddit ooo da pidddiest widdle baby," or anything similar, drive them back where they came from with a wiffle-ball bat.

Kids start learning how to talk about the same time their eyes start to focus on things. They learn to talk by learning to assign meaning to th sounds they hear.

If you ban "baby talk" your child will talk sooner and better than you would ever believe possible -- as much as two years sooner than their peers.

WH, as usual has some good advice. But I'm gonna make it even simpler. Talk with your child. I don't care what it's about and when they're just starting to babble, babble back. They learn about conversation and you're rewarding their attempts to talk.


Talk, Talk, Talk. Talk about sports, talk about the news, talk about what they're seeing as you drive. Just talk.


Oh, and read to them. They're never too young to be read to. Read children's books, read the newspaper, just read.



Daughter, I wish more parents had your philosophy about broken bones and blood. It is amazing to me how a small scratch on a child is so often made into a federal case by parents. The child may have been playing and didn't even notice when the scratch occurred but the parents are ready to take them to the hospital for a tetanus shot.

 

[SweetCherry]

OK, admittedly this doesn't quite apply to newborns, but by the time they are a year old abd babbling wildly, it's as good a time to start teaching them the please and thank you bit. My daughter talked early and at 15 months old, she used complete sentances and said please and thank you when it was appropriate.

Also, read to them. It helps so much to stimulate their brains. My daughter also, at 8 months, could pick out exactly which book she wanted and would pull out every one she had, crawl to me, put it in my lap and look at me with puppy eyes til I picked her up and read the same book 10 times. At 5, she's now reading and spelling and is way beyond her classmates. Granted, she's a child genius in my eyes, but what parent doesn't think that at one point or another in their life.

 

[seXieleXie]

My bit of advice:

As son as you hear the first syllables of "Oooo iddit ooo da pidddiest widdle baby," or anything similar, drive them back where they came from with a wiffle-ball bat.

Kids start learning how to talk about the same time their eyes start to focus on things. They learn to talk by learning to assign meaning to th sounds they hear.

If you ban "baby talk" your child will talk sooner and better than you would ever believe possible -- as much as two years sooner than their peers.

that is simply not true WH. my linguistics class spent a lot of time on first language aquisition and that was one of the main myths the professor tried to debunk.

 

[Caria Knight]

Personally I think Baby Talk is good but only in moderation. With my son we did a bit of the baby talk and we'd do conversations. He'd say something then I'd say something like "Oh yeah! Mommy didn't know that, tell mommy some more" and he'd go off like a rocket yapping forever. I think it's good to encourage talking and sometimes you have to make THIER sounds so that they don't feel left out and want to continue talking.

Just my two cents.

 

[Guest]

Some advice I'd like to offer is this:

Contrary to what doctors, grandmothers, and aunts suggest, even though it's been less than 4 hours since my child has eaten, YES, he is hungry.

My son was constantly hungry when he was born. While my sister-in-law was visiting, shortly after we came home from the hospital, he started crying at the top of his lungs. My body was preparing to feed him because upon hearing his cries my milk was most ready. She said it was impossible for him to want more after he had just finished about an hour ago.

She told me to let him cry and that he'd cry himself to sleep because he was NOT hungry. I listened to him cry and my heart wanted to stop. I felt so terrible watching and listening.

Finally, I decided that he was MY son and that I knew he was hungry, so I fed him. He was a happy little guy upon being fed and he was so content. After that, he fell asleep all on his own because his tummy was nice and filled with nourishment.

That's when I decided I'd trust my own instincts. Sometimes you just know things - and you know what's best for your child.

Enchanted

 

[daughter]

how else can an infant communicate

except to cry? There's plenty of time to teach a child about delayed response and disappointment.

Good for you Enchanted. I nursed two babies. One past the age of two. Folks didn't hold they're tongues about it either. Well, I was 30 by the time I had the last one. These are my tits and my baby. I did as I saw fit.

I also didn't feed my infant cereal, fruit juices or any other foodstuffs till she was almost a year. After that, I raised her on vegan diet till she was two, maybe three. My child's diet is my business and nobody else's.

Peace,

daughter

 

[BlondGirl]

My advise is to not give in to the competitiveness. If your kid is not yet potty trained at 3, don't worry. Have you ever seen a 20 year old that was not potty trained?

If your kid does not talk at 4, ditto.

If your kid is not ready to read at 6, ditto.

If one of these does prove to be a major obstacle, deal with it then--but not before you have given your child the chance to acually do it when his body and mind are ready. (Remember that the averages are AVERAGES--for every kid who does something early, there is one who does it late.)


My 2nd piece of advice is to set goals as parents. My goals are to raise my son to be: 1.) A productive citizen 2.) A family member 3.) Responsible 4.) Employed.
This is it--everything else must fall into those categories. If it doesn't, don't sweat it.

Many things that are considered "important" for kids to do in our society have no value in the world outside of making kids do this. Popularity does not give something real value. (I am thinking of the requirement for 5 year olds to color. My kid hated coloring. Still does not care for it--it has not hindered him at all and is not reflected in his art class successes either. Why is there so much emphasis placed on it then? )

 

[LukkyKnight]

Stop reading and go get some sleep

Seriously, there's good advice here, but you can already sense what you'll get in real time, people who cite authorities to back up mutually exclusive opinions.

Most children survive their childhood.

Most parents don't get enough sleep, especially new parents. Why are you here, reading, when you could be catching a nap? Go now, you have joined the cult of the new baby, and are in your initiation... sleep deprivation makes you more prone to accept ideas unexamined.

You're getting sleepy...


your eyes are tired...

sleepy...



sleep now, the baby will wake before you're fully rested...

 

[JazzManJim]

As soon as you hear the first syllables of "Oooo iddit ooo da pidddiest widdle baby," or anything similar, drive them back where they came from with a wiffle-ball bat.

A wiffle-ball bat? Hell no. Use something heaver. a ball-peen hammer, maybe.

I've always talked to my two babies just like I talk to everyone else and they're never had a problem understanding me.

A couple other things I'd suggest, as they've worked for my young 'uns.

As soon as possible, put the baby on a schedule - feeding, sleeping, etc. They'll stick to it, and it makes your life infinitely easier.

Feed them healthy stuff early. They don't know good food from bad, and they'll eat what they know. You'll have fewer problems with them eating veggies if they're been eating veggies from a early age. My daughter loves raw carrots and will actually choose them over candy most of the time!

 

[artful]

Opinion

Isn't it amazing at how much you knew you didn't know before you learned what you thought you knew was wrong ?

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Re: Advice for parents of newborns

that was one of the main myths the professor tried to debunk.

I'm glad he was unsuccessful in debunking it.

I'm not quite sure which part is "myth," but from personal observation, young children who are treated to the "delights" of baby talk learn to speak baby talk, while those who hear mostly proper english learn to speak clearly from the start.

Caria Knight, says babytalk is OK in moderation, and I do have to agree that one overly sweet aunt or the occasional repitition of a baby's sounds to encourage them to repeat it are not going to scar your child for life.

The idea of banning baby talk goes beyond the simple mechanics of insuring the baby never hears silly sounds instead of words. It esablishes a frame of mind that makes the parents treat the baby as a reasoning being at a much earlier age than is otherwise the case.

Babies are at least as smart as puppies or kittens, but they're treated as being dumber by most adults -- behavior is generally tolerated from a four year old child that wouldn't be acceptable from a six week old puppy. Banning baby talk is just the first step in treating children as smarter than puppies.

LukkyKnight,
I totally agree that parents need naps at least as much as babies do -- especially before they start sleeping through the night.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

My adventure as a new parent

I have come to realize big breast are not a blessing when you plan to breast feed...

I seem to have a weird nipple because Jacob will not take my nipple so I have to add another nipple on top of mine so he can eat... I'm not complaining at all

Being almost a week old he hardly cries and our converstions last for or as long as he is a wake..

I talk about how grandma is comeing up from ohio to see him
and that he is going to be very special and that he can be anything he wants to be ...

I just enjoy watching him look around when he gets all bright eyed

I found that No matter what I may do that We have a lot to look forward too. and their is always going to be a new adventure underway..

I just hope that Jacob will have a wonderfull imagination.. and shoot for the moon and stars when he is ready

 

[Weird Harold]

I just hope that Jacob will have a wonderfull imagination.. and shoot for the moon and stars when he is ready

I have heard that children exposed to music at an early age seem to have more imagination than those who don't have music in their formative years.

I suspect that Hip-Hop, Rap, Heavy Metal, and bone curdling bass at high volume aren't as effective as classical or "easy listening" music at Jacob's age, but any music that doesn't make him cry is probably a good idea.

As long as you encourage him to use his mind, he's going to be fine.

 

[BlondGirl]

I have come to realize big breast are not a blessing when you plan to breast feed...

I seem to have a weird nipple because Jacob will not take my nipple so I have to add another nipple on top of mine so he can eat...

NSW,
I was in a "G" cup when i was pregnant with my son. Yes, the monster boobs can make it more difficult, but there is nothing to be done about it. I had one inverted nipple and used a nipple shield also. What I would do was let Jr. eat for a while (enough to curb his main hunger) and then lose the shield to let him nurse when he was not so desperate. This helped. Don't forget that he is as new at hursing as you are. He will become better at it the more he practices. Just like you.

A fact that is ignored by most health care professionals to keep in mind:
Most breast milk is made DURING nursing, not before. You get engorged and that is the beginning of the meal (the apetizer?), the rest of the nursing time is with milk made-to-order. It can be helpful to switch Jr to the opposite side after the first few minutes to deal with your engorgement. Then switch him back to the first to really nurse. The excessive engorgement makes the nipple impossible to grasp too.

Happy nursing. (If you haven't read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding yet, this is the time to do it. It will help you to be patient and decrease your susceptability of giving in to feeding your child chemical formulas that are so popular.)

 

[LRC]

Best advice I ever got ......

One day you will feel like your losing your mind .... lack of sleep . crying baby ... never ending piles of little clothes to wash ... house a mess ....

Here's the advice ....

give yourself a break ... call someone, one of the million people who offered to babysit when the baby was born .... go do something for yourself BY YOURSELF ... it helps believe me ... babies can feel your stress and you will be a better parent after de-stressing