Advancement with Aunt story

[Samaman]

Feedback on Advancement of Aunt/Nephew Incest Story

Hey all, it's been a while since I've written, due to many ocurrences over the past year, and I finally have time to get back into it. I only have one story posted, and I am looking forward to writing the next chapter to it. However, I'm a little unsure as to how to continue it. I have finally come to terms, sometime over the past year, with the fact that I am a bona-fide, true blue big tit man. I love big tits, so I will definitely be adding more tit-play into this next installment. The problem is, I don't know where to actually steer the story. So if you guys could read the story and tell me what you think of it, what you liked, what you didnt like, and where I should go with it, it would be greatly appreciated, here's the link Tyler's Spring Break in April. Any and all feedback is helpful, and I will be prompt with my replies, thank you all in advance!

 

[Hotcappucino]

Watch your punctuation and capitalization. Sorry to have to mention it; I'm sure it seems minor to some people compared to the storyline, but to others it's a significant distraction. Sloppy punctuation and capitalization just makes a story seem too amateurish.

Words indicating family relationships should be capitalized when used with a person's name as a title: Aunt April and Uncle Paul. But: my aunt and uncle, April and Paul Smith.

Most of your punctuation problems are with how you write dialog, especially with regards to how you use commas (or don't use them) and your overuse of ellipses ("..."):
"Hi honey!" squeaked the voice of his mother on the line, "listen I have a favor to ask you son..."
should be
"Hi, honey!" squeaked the voice of his mother on the line. "Listen, I have a favor to ask you, son." Note that you don't need an ellipsis here because an ellipsis is only used to fill in for missing words in order to make a sentence grammatically correct. You have a complete sentence so you don't need an ellipsis.

Despite the fact that she was his best friend, he had always been attracted to her.

An interesting line. I don't know why being his best friend should preclude not being attracted to her. In fact, I would assume the opposite -- because she was his best friend, he would feel an attraction towards her. Unless you're trying to say that he doesn't feel right being attracted to someone who he considers just a friend.

You should use "blonde" when describing a female's hair or referring to a female with blonde hair; use "blond" when describing a male's hair or a male with blond colored hair.

...pressed the button on the little machine outside the gate.

Kind of nit-picky, but if you would have said "call box" instead of "the little machine," it would sound much more adult-like.

The last part of the story (after Tyler arrives at his aunt's) reads like the script from a bad porn movie. The dialog between Tyler and his aunt is just too unnatural. Tyler sounds like a ten year old boy at times: "Umm...aunty, I've never done this before." he said shyly.
While his aunt sounds too sluty: "Suck my tits baby, they haven't had a man's attention in so long!"

If you're seriously thinking about writing another chapter, I'd consider re-writing this story first to make it more realisitic. Just my opinion, of course.