Adult Friend Finder- anybody ever use it?

[SpaceManSpiff]

Hi there,
I was just wondering if anybody here ever actually used that site. I have not joined up yet, just have the free profile posted. Wondering if it has been successful for others before I pony up the cash. Any thoughts?

 

[fllatinstud]

I have used it, you must be real careful because there are lots of women there who are there just to make money from othes. However there are also some very sincere people there who are real and are searching for the same thing as you are....if you want pm me and I can do a sample search of your area and email it to you.

tony

 

[StevenWill]

Just like life

Using AFF is just like real life. If you are a woman, you will get many replies. If you are a man, you can sit in front of your computer until the termites eat the legs off your chair waiting for a reply. It's a good service, but it's not magic.

Steve

 

[double16in]

AFF - much chaff, little wheat

While there are some nice women on there, there are a lot of fakes....ads put up by guys for shits and giggles, I guess. It doesn't take long to figure out which ones they are (you know, 21 y.o. supermodel with 44DD tits who wants to fuck and suck any man of the face of the earth, etc.).

I was a Gold Member for a while, but other than some expanded search engine capabilities, it didn't seem to be worth the $50 or so every three months.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

I am a member there, and have had some success, but it is very limited. The thing is with AFF, you have to go into their chat rooms if you actually want to meet anyone. The chat rooms there are very tedious, and don't run well, it is difficult to follow any conversation there. My advice is to have an instant messenger program, so if you meet up with someone who may be interested, you can chat thorugh that.
I have never gotten an email reply from just my personal ad.
Also, you will find that most of the people looking for a partner are couples who are into threesomes, and most of those in search of a bi lady. The pickings are slim for a single man who wants to meet a single lady. So, if you are a bi-lady who is looking for action...it's the place to go...if not, well, probably not worth the investment.

 

[llee69]

I did a 3 month stint with them. There was 1 woman that I almost got together with. However after talking to her on the phone for a bit we realized that she thought I was a black male from Tx instead of a white male from In.

There are really a lot of B.S. people on there. Send them a reply and then you are on a mailing list. "want to see more fo me? go to WWW...."

For me, the 3 months I was there was enough to say not for me.

 

[Ballboy]

AFF

I would concur with Steve, if you are a man, you will rarely, if ever, get sincere replies. Often, replies from women will lead to other pay websites or pay services. I joined as a Silver member just for fun and sent out several e-mails seeking simply online exchanges. One or two replies, nothing meaningful. If you are looking for entertainment value, fine. If you are looking to hook up forget it. Also, in your state, notice how many more Men Seeking Women postings exist vs. Women Seeking Men. 3 to 1 or more. Good luck.

 

[SexyChele]

Okay, guys, here's a woman's perspective on AFF. Ya just knew I'd have something to say, huh?

I have a profile listed at AFF, and have had one since last summer. Nope, I don't pay, and I don't see the need to. Just keep the freebie stuff.

When I first joined, I actually got very few responses. I went back and reworded my ad (at first I just wasn't sure what to say), and that got a few responses - though not what I was expecting. Then, this past December, I posted my pic (just a face shot) - and responses went through the roof!

I try to respond to all the emails I get, but sometimes the volume is just too much. I can give you a few tips, though, on how a man might succeed on AFF...

1. If you are looking for the "perfect" woman, go elsewhere. Just as in the men I've found there, the women will be just as ordinary. Good looking, yes. Super model, no. Be realistic in your expectations. (If she's too good to be true.....she probably isn't!)

2. Please, please, please READ her ad! Specifically, what she is looking for. I am VERY specific in my ad about the type of man I'm looking for, and yet, I get responses from men who have obviously NOT read what I was looking for or felt that I would make an exception in their case. I know what I want, that's why I wrote it. And no, I'm not looking for Mr. Gorgeous. I'm actually looking for a "teddy bear" type, specifically stating I do not want a skinny man - yet I will get responses from men who are 6'3" weighing 175lbs. This is going to get neither of us anywhere. Also, I've specifically stated I do not want married men, yet I continually get emails from married men, telling me they are what I need. In the instances where men do not fit what I've specified, I delete their responses without contacting them. If they obviously can't read, I don't want them in my life.

3. Please, don't come across as desperate. Nothing worse than a man who sounds pathetic and whiny.

4. If you want to contact a woman from out of state, or a good deal away from you, and she hasn't specifically stated she wants erotic chat, tell her how often you would be willing to travel to where she is, let her know that you do not just expect "dirty" emails - unless she has advertised for that.

5. Don't expect women to "go hunting". I don't. But then, I'm not that way in RL, either. I expect the man to make the first move. It's just the way things work, sometimes.

6. If you come across a woman who wants you to pay, or who tries to hook you up to a pay site - COMPLAIN! Let AFF know about it, and that you don't appreciate such things. If enough people complain and threaten to pull out, AFF will have to do something about it.

7. Above everything, be honest! Even if she isn't - there are always bad apples in the bunch. Don't try to hide the fact you are married if you think she isn't into married men. (this happened to me, and I was NOT pleased - he got dropped faster than a hot potato!) In your ad be very clear as to what you expect and want - some ads are so vague, it's hard to figure out what a man wants. Maybe I, as a female, don't go after men, but when I get an email response, the first thing I do is search for his ad before I respond. If he is vague and unclear, I am usually hesitant to respond.

8. Either post a picture on your ad or include one when you respond. I find it incredibly frustrating when I have taken the time to post my pic to my ad (hey, I've made myself "public"), and a man responds say how cute he thinks I am - and doesn't include a pic of himself. I'm not that concerned about looks, but looks do matter to some degree. And obviously, he is mentioning MY looks then looks matter to him, right? A return courtesy is truly appreciated.

Oh, and while we are on the subject of pictures - please don't send a lady a picture of you hard dick. ICK! Nothing turns me off more quickly, and elicits a "no response", from me than a man who tells me he has included his pic and when I scroll down, it's a picture of a stiff dick. Yeah. Okay. So now I know what is truly on your mind, and I wonder if you are even going to bother knowing my name before you want to fuck me! Bad, guys, really bad. Get a really nice face shot taken. You don't even need one of your body - just the shoulders up. And send it with your response. Give the woman a chance to see what you look like. And try to avoid sending her a pic where you have to explain, "Well, this is a pic of me and my ex - but she is no longer in my life." Oh, now that is pleasant....

Men who are considerate enough to send me a head shot of themselves with their response will get a response from me before any of the others. And if I don't think things will work out, I'm much more nicer to them. Chances are, I will at least email them, maybe call them, to find out a little more.

Okay. I'm getting off of my soapbox now. But that is my opinion of how you can make AFF work for you. But, just as in RL, you may go out and collect 10 phone numbers in one night - but only one will turn out to be the "real deal". The virtual world works the same way.

Good luck! And, yes, I don't mind answering any questions.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Chele, maybe you could help me out then....could you please go to AFF sometime and look at my profile, and let me know what I need to change? The names the same as here, please, any advice and/or suggestions would be appreciated

 

[Max27]

wow

great advice, chele!

and it does mean alot coming from a woman.

as for my advice.
I have to say that right here at literotica has been a great way to meet 'real women'. I have not met one that wants to sell you membership to a sight.
check your state's directory in personal's posts or go to the member search area under the stories index.

start trading some hot emails till you are revved up to meet!

have I met anyone? no but I am thinking about it. it's is the whole married but not getting enough, or kinky enough but don't want to hurt her - whole schpeel. it sux.

 

[sport]

check it out

Have you tried sexyads.net this is a free site. My wife is on the chat there.

 

[SexyChele]

Re: check it out

Have you tried sexyads.net this is a free site.

I'm registered there as well. (Maybe I should stop while I'm ahead!) While it is a free site, it only allows you to view up to 5 ads unless you are a paying member. And, if you use the "browse" feature, you can only browse one page - so you keep seeing the same ads. Also, if some one posts an "X-rated" picture, you cannot view it unless you are paying member. And, you cannot use their emailing service if you are not a paying member. (though it is easy enough to circumvent that or leave a personal message)

That said, I get a lot of responses from SexyAds. I've heard from some of the people there that they find it difficult to hook up, yet I've met 1 person so far (only registered in Jan 2002), and am working out meeting a few more. SexyAds can be more difficult because it doesn't go into as much detail as AFF does. You get just the basics, and that's it.

I think if you are a paying member of SexyAds, you can get more out of it if you are the "searcher". If you choose to be the "searchee", it is easy to stay on the non-paying end of it.



STP - You have a PM, hon!

 

[wildrose70]

Well SexyChele...you said it all very well....I too have been on AFF put an ad on there and got many responses but I did have a couple respectable pictures on there also and that does make a difference.. and I hate it too when there is no picture to look at and I could start a whole library of "stiff dicks" LOL....I would like to see who I'm talking too.......I didnt pay either....

But now this is for the men...there were about 10 different men in so. dak that I wrote to and I didnt get one response back from any I wrote..I heard from a lot....some like you said Sexy..."I'm not really married"...Oh right!!! and I'm not interested in married men...or ones married in name only!!!

I too have an ad on sexyads.com and got a lot or response from there also....redpersonals is another ad site....I started with yahoo...but now they charge people to respond...you have to weed out the ones you dont think are worth responding too.....but I at least try to answer and be polite...I hate when that happens...someone writes once and that's it....

Hey guess I better jump off this soapbox too!!

 

[hatara]

I am signed up at AFF for free

I got a few emails from men there and no I did not have a pic posted there.

I find that it is mainly just a way to connect initially. I tried to respond to all the emails I got but of the responses I made only one ever emailed me back. This was after their initially contacting me! Most of my responses were just nice asking for more info and giving them my names for whatever chat messenger program they used to talk to me more.

The man that did get back to me and I talked for a long time and were going to meet but then his company decided not to send him here. Oh well.

Since then I have met someone on lit who I will be getting together with soon. We started off as friends on lit chat and it grew from there.

Good luck to everyone but one piece of advice. If a woman is honest enough to give you her name for aol im, msn, yahoo, or icq when you see her on say hello. That may start something.

Now while I have NEVER claimed to be a supermodel in any way shape or form I am a 38DD and think I said so, so don't write off women with big chests as liars please.

 

[dankei]

I was a member of AFF for a bit but never conacted anyone. I really didn't like their format. I much prefer MatchMaker.com. Their system is faster and much easier to navigate. AFF has some good points but it was jsut a bit to clumbsy and slow to use.

Hatara, Wildrose, SexyChele,
What are your screen name on those sites? I'd like to check out your adds.

 

[Savage Kitten]

AFF

well.. I thought I had something to say

You did a great job of summing the whole thing up, SexyChele. I have had an ad there for quite some time now. In the beginning it was fun but then it became a pain in the ass. I got a lot of emails but they all seemed to be from married men wanting discreet kinky sex.

Like SexyC said, it's all in the wording. I went back and reworded my ad and the emails virtually stopped. *chuckles* If I could remember my dang password I would go back and delete the ad... I have come across a couple interesting guys that were searching for an intelligent woman, they weren't really what I was looking for so I directed them here to Literotica.

Good Luck on your search guys. If you are looking for laughs and chuckles AFF is for you... if not... I suggest staying here at Lit *wink*

Sk~

 

[MissTaken]

I haven't used AFF, but I do have a profile at Friendfinder. The "dating" version.

No responses yet.

I must be very boring.

The other sites I am on, I get many responses, but I would blush telling you where these sites are!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Just like life

Using AFF is just like real life. If you are a woman, you will get many replies. If you are a man, you can sit in front of your computer until the termites eat the legs off your chair waiting for a reply. It's a good service, but it's not magic.

Steve

May I laugh at the termites reference? You are absolutely right! I got bombarded!

Ebony

 

[sexyspank]

Miss T Boring?

I haven't used AFF, but I do have a profile at Friendfinder. The "dating" version.

No responses yet.

I must be very boring.

The other sites I am on, I get many responses, but I would blush telling you where these sites are!

Miss T boring? I don't think so. One lovely lady who deserves what she is looking for.

Now I got the grovelling out the way.Where are these other sites?

Wendy

 

[MissTaken]

My mother always said I deserved a sound spanking!





I just couldn't say. You would lose all respect for me.


Or gain some?

 

[sexyspank]

YNY

My mother always said I deserved a sound spanking!





I just couldn't say. You would lose all respect for me.


Or gain some?

Yes
No
Yes definitely






love Wendy

 

[wildflowerblooms]

agree with chele

unless your a paying member at AFF....

 

[double16in]

Hatara, please excuse me if you thought my posting was negative on large-breasted women...yours are quite lovely! I only meant you can tell the fake ads on AFF rather easily, especially the ones with bootlegged pictures off the 'Net.

Several postings have referred to getting emails from married men only interested in discrete kinky sex....while I can understand a single woman's reluctance to have an affair with a married man, some of us married men just aren't getting sex anymore, and so rather than risk visiting a lady of the night, we seek female companionship here, at AFF, in chat rooms, etc. Please don't consider all married men to be horny old lechers looking to add another notch in the gun handle; most of us are decent men who just miss sexual contact.

 

[SexyChele]

Several postings have referred to getting emails from married men only interested in discrete kinky sex....while I can understand a single woman's reluctance to have an affair with a married man, some of us married men just aren't getting sex anymore, and so rather than risk visiting a lady of the night, we seek female companionship here, at AFF, in chat rooms, etc. Please don't consider all married men to be horny old lechers looking to add another notch in the gun handle; most of us are decent men who just miss sexual contact.

Do you think you could help me do something? Please?

When I originally posted my ads, I stated that I wasn't into married men. Well, I got several (about half) responses saying everything from that these men were married in name only, to only staying married because they had 2 handicapped children (I mean, what a ploy for sympathy!), to only being "somewhat married". (Yeah, that's like a "little bit pregnant"!)

So, I changed my ad to state that if they had anyone in the place they were living who they could refer to as "wife" to not respond - that if they did, they would be ignored, their response deleted.

The problem? I'm just not getting through to these guys! And the BIG problem is that I have a web-based email that I use that only allows limited space. What these guys will do is send HUGE pics that eat up my space, and then ALL my emails get wiped out. It is completely frustrating - especially when I'm not interested to begin with, and have stated it plainly.

What, exactly, can I put in my ads to let these men know that their advances are NOT welcome, that I consider a form of harassment, and, more importantly, to leave me alone? There must be hundreds of other women - married and single - who are more than happy to take care of their "needs". Why bother with the one who is telling them she isn't interested? I'm just not understanding this, and would appreciate any help as to how to change it!

Thanks!

 

[double16in]

SexyChele....I haven't seen your AFF ad yet, but one idea would be to rephrase the ad to say: "If you're married or attached, please watch the movie "Fatal Attraction" before you email me"

Obviously, it depends on whether you're seeking a LTR or just pure sexual fun. Most married men will run from someone seeking an LTR (except for those who are looking for a "reason" to get divorced). If you're seeking pure sex, married men will respond, thinking "hell, she just wants a roll in the hay...that'll work for me!"

Another point you might make is that you will not travel, nor will you meet with anyone who is not local to your community...that should deter the businessmen looking for a piece while away from home on a business trip.

Just some thoughts....Good luck!