Hi,
I'm an undiagnosed ADHD'er, and have been with my wife for 25 years. I suspect she may also be ADHD or - well - something.
I recently read that people with ADHD tend to be "people pleasers", because they likely spent their childhood facing a lot of negative comments about their behaviours, and therefore to avoid such negativity in their lives, they try to make everyone around them happy. Certainly, I had a lot of issues growing up... and undoubtedly I now - at very least - am very big on avoiding conflict, and like people to be happy with me...
Both my wife and I are on the sub-side of life. (Yeah, not a great combo for a marriage...) Earlier in our lives together we explored D/s with an online Dom, and also tried a threesome. My major concern throughout was - Is she only trying these things because I want her to, or does she want to do it "for her", too?
Looking back, particularly regarding the threesome, I believe she was more trying to please me than being in it for herself, as there was no sexual chemistry between her and the guy. (The experiences with him did arouse her, gauging by her reactions after he left us... And when he moved away, she admitted that she wanted "the next guy" to be more hung
)
I'm hoping now we're older and wiser that we may get back into some kind of opening of our marriage, and finding S/someone/s to play with, but again there's the concern of ensuring that I don't let myself be blind to my wife's feelings in order to please the other person...
My hope would be to find a Dominant man to join us, maybe go to a munch and see what may come... (in the hope that - if you're the type to attend a munch, you're hopefully not an asshole as if you mistreat people, word would get around the group...)
Not sure I have a question in all of this, or just wanted to vocalise these thoughts! I guess the question is - are you also ADHD, and sub / big on pleasing the other person...? How have you dealt with your own non-neuro-typical brain and sex life when it comes to playing in a D/s and/or cuckold type relationship? Am I just over thinking everything?!
Ok, there. Said it.
d.
I'm an undiagnosed ADHD'er, and have been with my wife for 25 years. I suspect she may also be ADHD or - well - something.
I recently read that people with ADHD tend to be "people pleasers", because they likely spent their childhood facing a lot of negative comments about their behaviours, and therefore to avoid such negativity in their lives, they try to make everyone around them happy. Certainly, I had a lot of issues growing up... and undoubtedly I now - at very least - am very big on avoiding conflict, and like people to be happy with me...
Both my wife and I are on the sub-side of life. (Yeah, not a great combo for a marriage...) Earlier in our lives together we explored D/s with an online Dom, and also tried a threesome. My major concern throughout was - Is she only trying these things because I want her to, or does she want to do it "for her", too?
Looking back, particularly regarding the threesome, I believe she was more trying to please me than being in it for herself, as there was no sexual chemistry between her and the guy. (The experiences with him did arouse her, gauging by her reactions after he left us... And when he moved away, she admitted that she wanted "the next guy" to be more hung
)I'm hoping now we're older and wiser that we may get back into some kind of opening of our marriage, and finding S/someone/s to play with, but again there's the concern of ensuring that I don't let myself be blind to my wife's feelings in order to please the other person...
My hope would be to find a Dominant man to join us, maybe go to a munch and see what may come... (in the hope that - if you're the type to attend a munch, you're hopefully not an asshole as if you mistreat people, word would get around the group...)
Not sure I have a question in all of this, or just wanted to vocalise these thoughts! I guess the question is - are you also ADHD, and sub / big on pleasing the other person...? How have you dealt with your own non-neuro-typical brain and sex life when it comes to playing in a D/s and/or cuckold type relationship? Am I just over thinking everything?!
Ok, there. Said it.
d.
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