Acceptance

[champagne1982]

I have noticed that dominants, maitres and/or sadists seem to be very reluctant to accept critique at face value. Apparently, once they have swallowed their every tendency to be self-reliant and asked for critique or review, they seem to prefer to receive the shallow pats on the back that they consider their droit du sang.

I know I'm being presumptive, but what the hell?

So, when these poets receive a less-than-glowing comment on their poem(s) I have found that, sometimes, they begin to personalize the criticism and react as if the reviewer had commented unfavourably about them and not on the poetry they'd asked about.

I guess, the point to what I'm saying is, is that no one can deny anyone else their opinion but you can ask for it to be kept private. Beware though, once you've asked, publicly, for those opinions, you should be ready to get all kinds. Some of them may be the truth.

 

[WickedEve]

Did some sadistic dom bastard get upset with you?
And I think the majority of lit dom's are a different breed than other doms. So, maybe it's not the fact that they are doms or sadists. Maybe they just can't handle certain feedback.
What is a maitres?

 

[bluerains]

I guess I am not a good judge on this subject ..growing up with an abusive uncle...and father when he was around...I was always farmed off to one of my aunts or another..My
grandfather kicked my grandmother down the stairs 7 months pregnant she died and so did the baby...nothing was done...my uncle...where to start...I watched him kick my aunt across the room because she could take his boots off..fast enough he broke her back in 3 places...shot her in the shoulder once...poured hot food down her body and scalded her arms...raped my cousin many times...still they stayed ...nothing was done... think she liked the abuse..it was attention after all...made me stronger..because of it I guess..as he lay on his death bed ...my aunt slept on the floor beside his bed like a good little kitten...me...I was just breathed a sigh ..glad he was gone....stone cold ....steel...I know..sorry...

 

[Tzara]

What is a maitres?

Maître is French for master.

 

[WickedEve]

Maître is French for master.

Thank you.

 

[Maria2394]

Champagne-
I know a man who percieves himself to be a master, but he is the most insecure person I have ever met. I love the ass even though he would rather hear a sweet lie than the truth and would rather TELL a sweet lie than the truth.

I think the problem lies with the all-consumed narcissist.I have read so much on these guys because I just cant understand why they are like they are, you know? and when they hear a truth about themselves or what they believe is a mighty accomplishment,they freak out, fearful that their secret is out and everyone knows they are not as perfect in every facet as they wish they were. Its not really about them knowing they are good, as they would have you think, its a about being as good as they truly wish they were.

Any feedback that isnt inline with what they think is their inner truth shocks them and they react like jerks. I guess that isnt really where you were going with that, but dont you just love trying to understand why some people do what they do?





and youre right about asking for FB, if someone doesnt want truth, then they shouldnt ask for it publicly.

 

[Tzara]

My impression is that there are basically a lot of people who are upset by anything that isn't a pat on the back or "ooh, that's wonderful" kind of comment regardless of their personal sexual practices. People are very sensitive about their writing and often anything viewed as an attack, or even as a lack of enthusiasm, gets interpreted as a personal affront. Some get defensive and snap back at the commentator.

It's unfortunate, but this seems to happen even when the person explicitly asks for critical commentary. I think many people believe they are emotionally ready for comment but really aren't. Or they think their work is much better than it is.

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

I have noticed that dominants, maitres and/or sadists seem to be very reluctant to accept critique at face value. Apparently, once they have swallowed their every tendency to be self-reliant and asked for critique or review, they seem to prefer to receive the shallow pats on the back that they consider their droit du sang.

I know I'm being presumptive, but what the hell?

So, when these poets receive a less-than-glowing comment on their poem(s) I have found that, sometimes, they begin to personalize the criticism and react as if the reviewer had commented unfavourably about them and not on the poetry they'd asked about.

I guess, the point to what I'm saying is, is that no one can deny anyone else their opinion but you can ask for it to be kept private. Beware though, once you've asked, publicly, for those opinions, you should be ready to get all kinds. Some of them may be the truth.

Oh, it's just an opinion, dismissive. Then they offer theirs.

Why is it that the people who personalize the criticism of their poetry seem to respond with personal attacks. Fuck it, fuck them. I'll respond anyway they want it. I NEVER claimed to be a nice guy. Nor a teacher.

 

[wildsweetone]

it takes all kinds of poetic ability and disability to help the world spin around.

my aim, if asked, is to keep my comments directed to the writing.

given enough time, a tender poet can come to understand the comments are aimed at the writing and not at their own self. but they do need time, and understanding.

not everyone is born with the ability to accept criticism for their own self or their own work - yes, even when they ask outright in a manner that makes us believe they are okay about the criticism we still leave ourselves open to retaliation from some 'young' poets.

i've learnt to be okay about the retaliation... mostly i can see it for what it is... sometimes i am surprised when a poet/author can answer things that seem very wrong to me... however, i am always pleased when they answer with knowledgable reasons as to why they made the choices they did. i learn too.

it doesn't mean i accept those reasons, and that's okay.

 

[darkmaas]

Originally Posted by WickedEve
What is a maitres?

I thought it was the Canadian spelling of mattress.

 

[WickedEve]

I thought it was the Canadian spelling of mattress.

There was an obscure, little film called Dominants, Mattresses and Sadists, Oh My!
The final scene, where the mattress had to be thrown out, made me cry.