About the Author

[carsonshepherd]

I am a fiction. I am a book talking to you, writing itself. There is no author, nor ever has been, save that wished into existence by the words themselves. I am not here. I have no existence.

back away from the Theraflu.

 

[BlackShanglan]

back away from the Theraflu.

You may have it when you pry it from my cold, dead hooves.

 

[Harry Leg]

I was born in a log cabin that i helped my father build.
I never knew my mother. She died giving birth to my identical twin sister 2 years before i was born.

Those are the highlights.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I was born in a log cabin that i helped my father build.
I never knew my mother. She died giving birth to my identical twin sister 2 years before i was born.

Those are the highlights.

Why do I get the feeling you've been sneaking some of Shang's Theraflu?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[McKenna]

A large part of who I am is where I’m from: Wyoming. I grew up comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with the space and vastness of empty plains and undiscovered mountains. I grew up without a McDonalds or a Wal-Mart. I grew up without a lot of distractions and when someone grows up like that, they learn to be comfortable with their own company.

I am passionate. I am fierce. I am loyal. I despise dishonesty. I adore adventure. I left Wyoming for good when I was twenty three. I have lived in or traveled to 20 different states and nine different countries since then. I return to my roots as often as I can.

My life changed irreconcilably three years ago when my brother committed suicide. He was my favorite sibling, he was practically my twin, and I think of him every single day. He was 28 when he died; I was 29.

From that event my “voice” was born. I learned to write differently. I learned to express myself more succinctly. I learned not to be afraid to throw a punch and not to piss in anyone’s pockets. I finished my degree in English and Technical Communication and put my writing skills to work as a technical writer/documentation specialist.

I’ve been in love. I’ve been in lust. I’ve been buffaloed and I’ve been brazen –but through it all I’ve been the only thing I can be: me.

 

[AppleBiter]

I am so nervous about doing this, but having read everyone else's, it doesn't seem right not to add my own. I've never written a biography, either, like a lot of people, so I don't even know where to start.

I'm 26 years old and I've lived in Kansas all my life. I am the youngest of four children, two brothers and one sister. The sister I did not find out about until I was 13. Neither did my mother or brothers. Long story.

My family is your typical American family. Except that both of my parents have been admitted to mental institutions and they divorced three years ago, but live in the same house and sleep in the same bed.

My husband and I met in high school and have been inseparable ever since. He's the other half of my sky and the beginning where I end. I could write a novel about the influence he's had in my life, but I digress.

I am a student in college and despite what some might say, my academic performance means a hell of a lot more to me than merely a sheet of paper. To understand that, you first must understand some of my background.

My entire school career (save for Junior and Senior years of high school), I was a complete failure. Sure, I passed. But, barely. The teachers would always say the same thing, "She has so much potential, but she doesn't apply herself." I suffered many beatings for my academic shortcomings. I spent all-nighters, in fourth grade, at the dining room table, while my mother pumped me full of coffee so that I could finish that goddamned homework, "come hell or high water."

Finally, in high school, we found out that all that "daydreaming" teachers were reporting that I was doing in class, instead of paying attention, all that potential being wasted, was actually a medical condition. It was then that I found out I had epilepsy. What was happening is that I was having petit mal seizures in class. All. These. Years.

So, Junior and Senior year of HS, I made the A-B Honor roll. It wasn't enough, though. I graduated second to last in my class. My mother had to make sure my diploma was signed, as it was a running joke what a failure I was. For a long time, I said, "College isn't for me. I'm too stupid."

Finally, I found a career that I wanted badly enough that I was willilng to try out college. I was so incredibly paralyzed at the idea of failing yet again, but I was willing to give it a shot. My husband was the only supporting voice in my life at the time, telling me to go for it. He was convinced that all I needed was a little encouragement to go far. That was 2 years ago.

When I first called my mother to tell her that she could finally be proud of me because I had a 4.0 for the semester, she replied, "We'll see how long that lasts." As of now, I am on the National Dean's List, the Presidential Honor Roll, I am a member of Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society, I've received recognition for academic excellence from 2 professors, my writing is being published in the next edition of our English textbook, I'm working in the college writing lab as a writing assistant at the college's request, I'm taking 20 credit hours and I'm KICKING ASS AND PROUD OF IT!! Right now, it's one of the most important things in my life and now you know why I don't find it at all trivial. To me, it's not everything, but it's damned close. I'm that student who burns the midnight oil because my education doesn't come easily for me, but I've earned every bit of recognition I've received through blood, sweat, and tears. My aspiration is to graduate summa cum laude and, glory to God, I'm on my way.

So, what do I want to do for a living? I wanna be a P.I. I searched for my sister for years and finally found her, without any help from anyone. It was a long and trying process, but with tenacity, I did it. She didn't wish to reciprocate, but I felt throughout that process that my calling was to help others who were in my situation to find their loved ones. So, I'm majoring in Criminal Justice because most agencies request a BA in CJC.

Apart from school, I don't have much of a life, but what little I do have is generally spent with my husband and our nieces, when they come to visit (which is rare). We plan to have a family someday, but for now, we're enjoying marriage. Why rush?

Well, I guess that about sums it up. I've only touched on a few highlights, but I guess that's what you're supposed to do. It's not a literary masterpiece, but then it's not supposed to be. I hope someone at least comments and says they read it, so I don't feel completely as though I've blathered on in vain.



Thanks for sharing, each and every one who did.


Apple

 

[carsonshepherd]

II'm taking 20 credit hours and I'm KICKING ASS AND PROUD OF IT!! Right now, it's one of the most important things in my life and now you know why I don't find it at all trivial. To me, it's not everything, but it's damned close. I'm that student who burns the midnight oil because my education doesn't come easily for me, but I've earned every bit of recognition I've received through blood, sweat, and tears. My aspiration is to graduate summa cum laude and, glory to God, I'm on my way.

Great story.

It's not in vain.

I'm loving this thread.

Also, please understand I would never denigrate anyone's education just because I don't have one. I have the utmost respect for knowledge and learning and the hard work it requires. To find your way in life is a great thing.

 

[AppleBiter]

Great story.

It's not in vain.

I'm loving this thread.

Thank you so much for reading.

And, it's understood.

 

[AppleBiter]

Yikes . . . I hope I didn't kill this thread. It really is a wonderful idea, Carson.

Bump!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Yikes . . . I hope I didn't kill this thread. It really is a wonderful idea, Carson.

Bump!

It's not you. It's your Chihuahua.

 

[AppleBiter]

It's not you. It's your Chihuahua.

LMAO Is that what it is? He scared me, too, when I first saw him. That's when I knew it was love.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Also, please understand I would never denigrate anyone's education just because I don't have one. I have the utmost respect for knowledge and learning and the hard work it requires. To find your way in life is a great thing.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Back at ya. The smartest thing about me is I have smart friends.

 

[Norajane]

Although I have visited the rural Eastern European city where I was born and still have family, Chicago was my home for most of my life. Our immigrant neighborhood ringed by steel mills, railroad tracks, and bridges seemed like the whole world to me, at least until I was old enough to walk to the shore of Lake Michigan and marvel at its vastness.

An only child until I was 14, my library card was my ticket to other worlds, other lives. I read then to escape, and now, I write for the same reason. Words can take me out of myself to anywhere I want to be. College and graduate school gave the me nerve and credentials to make my own way in the world, though I never expected I would do so for this long. At 38, I still hope to marry and maybe start a family, but I'm wondering if I might indeed be struck by lightning first.

I've had and have much love in my life from family, friends that have become like family, and lovers who have opened me up to passion and mystery. My consulting jobs have taken me to every major US city, and my frequent flyer miles have shown me some of the amazing places around the globe that I could only read about as a kid trapped in the house while the parents were at work.

Today, I live on the West Coast and enjoy the glorious weather and landscape in San Francisco. I'm not sure why I moved her five years ago, and neither does anyone else, though I consider it as one of the best choices I've made. Having been caught between old Europe and the American dream my entire life, I somehow fit well into this city of misfit toys and pastel sand castles. My adventure here is nearly done, however, and I will soon return to the midwest and to my family, friends, and my love.



You know, when I write it all down like that, it doesn't seem like so much. Well, I guess I left out a few details, eh?

 

[bg23]

i couldn't do one. i'd never stop...

 

[glynndah]

I was born because abortions were not available for a poor, small-town girl in the 1950's. So my mother and father did the "right" thing and got married and had 6 more children in 7 years. One of my sisters was sold to an aunt and uncle who couldn't have children of their own.

When I was 8, my mother told me something that I had to see secret from everyone. The next day she and I would be running away and leaving everyone else behind. So I packed my little suitcase, my mother took me and the dog, leaving behind her four other children, including a baby less than 2 years old, and ran away from home.

I was raised by my grandparents while my mother worked in a nearby city. I didn't see any of my siblings until I was 16. The only one I actually stay in contact with is the sister who is closest to me in age. We both feel cheated out of a normal family life.

I won a state poetry contest when I was a junior in high school. The certificate was signed by Gwendolyn Brooks. There might have been a small amount of money awarded so I guess, technically I was a professional writer! The poem was a sonnet with the typical teenage themes of angst, was and suicide and horrible upon rereading as an adult.

 

[English Lady]

Well, it's no surprise to find out I'm English. I was born in a little town near Manchester in 1978 and am a northerner through and through. Not long after birth I became a Christian, it's not much of a conversion story, but it's mine.

I was labelled as the "Bible bashing geek" at school but I'd already worked out how to survive in my place of education, bribery. I would help people with their homework, pass on money for bus fare or dinner, lend out pens and pencils, hand out my weekly treat of sweets and generally I made myself a friend to everyone. This is something I've carried on through life. I will do anything to help anyone and gladly so. However it's taken me a while to learn the word "No." and how not be used like a door mat.

Anyone who knew me through school or college would probably faint dead away to find out I write porn. I've always written, I adored English and I would write stories at home, soppy romances based on who I had a crush on at the time, through secondary school.

The man who is now my husband introduced me to all things sexual. At nineteen I was still a virgin and had only kissed a total of two guys, ever. I met Mitnik online in Doug’s chat room and I was his from the moment he pinched my bottom. We met in real life just a few weeks after meeting in cyber and within hours he'd got into my virgin panties. My blossoming sexuality was released.

Introduced to the joys of dirty stories, one night I had a dream and that dream wouldn't stop haunting me till I wrote it down. So my first ever erotic story came into being and sparked off a hobby that I very much enjoy, and despite what many people may think, its a hobby that enhances my spirituality, it doesn't take away from it.

My daughter is four years old and I really enjoy the job of bringing her up. She is a joy and a delight and I swear she's going to end up in the entertainment business when she's older. I believe I was destined to be a Mum. In school, I worked towards the goal of being a primary school teacher. I love children and wanted to work with them. I even got to university still heading towards becoming a teacher, but finally I found out it wasn't the career for me. The longing I had was only fulfilled when I gave birth to my own child, suddenly I felt as if I'd slipped into my space in the world.

Christian, Mother, Erotic Writer- that's me.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Well, it's no surprise to find out I'm English.

Prove it.

 

[Harry Leg]

Why do I get the feeling you've been sneaking some of Shang's Theraflu?

Rumple Foreskin

Err...Ummm...Theraflu? I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about *whistles innocently*

 

[impressive]

Someone on my writing journal asked me for a bio, so I wrote this.

***

I'm 31, an Aries, and I grew up in the middle of the corn field in the middle-left of Illinois. I have one brother two years older whose emotional torment is the reason I'm screwed up in the head. The day after my seventh birthday I had a bad accident that landed me in the hospital and rehab for many months. The doctors told my parents I might never walk again but obviously they were wrong. This, according to my brother, is the reason I'm spoiled rotten. I started reading at four and making up stories even before that. Art was my passion but I don't really have any talent, so finally I started concentrating more on the stories that went along with the pictures instead of the pictures.

My parents split when I was eight and my mom took my brother and me away from the farm. I went to five different elementary schools in several states between grades 2 and 6, which is probably why I have trouble with basic math. Moving and being the new kid was a nightmare for me because of my deep anxiety in unfamiliar situations. I bounced in and out of gifted programs but I never fit into conventional learning. School and I just don't get along. I was a very neurotic child who was convinced we were all going to die in a nuclear war, if a brain tumor didn't kill me first.

Finally, my brother and I moved in with our dad and stayed put. In high school I met my bestest friend and soul mate, OhMissScarlett, and lots of other great friends. Once I made peace with never being like everyone else, I was a lot happier person. My dad died of cancer in 1990, when I was just 15, and we went to live with our mom, who had moved home to be nearer to us. She wasn't working then, she drank instead, and we were extremely poor, but I had a car and I mostly stayed with Scarlett and her family. I was embarrassed at how we lived, but I considered it a test: if someone couldn't handle the way I lived then they could fuck off. In the midst of all this, I was learning my sexuality and all the drama that went along with that.

I went to college at the University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri for a year, but the Mississippi River decided to wipe out our house, so there was no money to go back, even with financial aid. There was no home to go back to, so I did the best I could. When I looked up, I was living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with my ex. We lived there for 5 years and then moved here to a large city in the south, his hometown, in 1999. We split up, but I've stayed here with my current lover, whom I've been with for 5 years now. I'm close enough to home to visit, but not close enough to get roped into babysitting. *g*

Right now I live in a little yellow house on a quiet street. I have a day job, four dogs, and a relationship. I write. As a writer, I'm self-taught. I don't know all the terminology or methodology, and I don't have a piece of paper to prove I know anything. I observe people closely and try to write what I see and feel. None of my characters are me, but at the same time there's a little bit of me in all of them. This past year, I've finally come to the realization that I have moderate social anxiety disorder, and that has made the picture of my life much clearer for me. I'd like to go back to college and get a degree, but I'm really not sure in what. All I've ever wanted to do is write, and you can't learn how to do that in school. You just do it.


***

Anyone else want to do an "About the Author?"

Now -- pare it down for a book jacket (or a publisher's "About the Author" page). You'll need it (sooner, rather than later).

 

[English Lady]

Prove it.

colour

Flavour

Car boot

shopping trolley...


Need I go on?

 

[rikaaim]

I started one and just deleted it. I think that is the story of my life.

I'll try to find some words when I'm not so emotive.

 

[damppanties]

I would help people with their homework, pass on money for bus fare or dinner, lend out pens and pencils, hand out my weekly treat of sweets and generally I made myself a friend to everyone. This is something I've carried on through life. I will do anything to help anyone and gladly so.

 

[Guest]

Need I go on?

Tha left out knickers.

Perdita