About Q: Terms / B & D Vs. S & M?

[Lorindellia]

Allright,

Now I know these terms, however I believe that over the past 15 - 20 years they have evolved to have some different meanings...So I ask, how can you be into B&D and not into S&M at the same time? and Vice Versa?


Back when I was a sub to my Master's beck and call, it was simply refered to a S&M...
S&M encompassed Bondage & Dicipline, any fetish that your master had you would preform to his specifications and no one had ever heard of the term "safe word". Hopefully you were in tune enough with him/her to know when what was going on was harming the psyche and possibly undermining the relationship. Not hopefully, you in fact WERE in tune enough.

Now it seems as tho there may be people running around moving from slave to slave, master to master as quickly as you shed skin; and frankly I do not agree that this is what it is all about, at least not for me anyway...

The whole idea and concept from my perspective is that I adored him, and he adored me. I adored him so much because he took care of me in all ways. I completely trusted him. I knew he would never seriously harm me.

I believe from his perspective he adored me because of the attention I showed him, my willingness to please him, my desire for him. I was also willing to be punished when he felt in necessary, but the punishment wasn't about inflicting pain, although it sometimes did, it was a mental pain. Knowing that I had displeased him was nearly unbearable and my desire for his physical and mental punishment led to the fulfillment of the ultimate reward, his forgivness.

I would like your views on this please? Have things change so much?

Also, someone recently told me I was Dom because I would have to insist on specific things to be a specific way... Before I agree to submit. I do not agree with this, as subs we have the right to select who we place our trust in, if we can't trust them to make us comfortable even, before anything is said or done, then how are we to trust them with our fragile psychies?

Please comment,
Thanks....in advance,
Yours for the Moment,
Lorindellia

 

[Angel]

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=39661

I believe they've outlined the meanings in this thread. I'd actually go through it again and quote it, but I'm on my way out the door.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Personally, I think that Sadism/Masochism, Bondage/Discipline, and Dominance/Submission are interwoven but distinct categories.

Some folks get off on pain or inflicting it, but don't actually exchange power. Some like to be bound and spanked/whipped, or like to do this to someone else, but independent of anything but the implied and temporary power concentration of these acts. Others prefer to either dominate or submit to their partner, a choice which can have many meanings that may or may not emcompass the other two categories--letting your partner order your meals for you might be an act of submission which informs your relationship, but it isn't about pain or discipline.

Just some preliminary thoughts. I think Angel's totally right about the BDSM thread, though. There's lots of solid ideas there on these issues.

Risia

 

[Rhandie]

Wow, I agree with Lorin 100%,
I apreciate the fact that you two referenced a thread for us to read; however, some of the older threads are so full that it would take days to read them all. I personally am glad someone did post a concise answer.


I think that a D/s relationship is what Lorin means.


TTFN,
Rhandie

 

[cymbidia]

good questions lead to interesting discussions

Your questions are good ones, Lorindellia.
Perhaps you would consider taking them to the BDSM thread.

One doesn't have to read the entire thread to post at its end, if one elects to forego that reading, you know. Nor does one have to read the whole thread to begin reading at its end. There are no entry requirements for participation on the BDSM thread. It's supposed to be a welcoming and all-inclusive sort of place.