About Poetry

[Unmasked Poet]

Learning to fly, a line at a time.

In my opinion, a good poem:

• Uses an image or images open enough that we can walk inside it.
• A good poem will have technique and form.
• A good poem must have style.
• A good poem must have a voice, which speaks to you.

For this example let’s take a look at a good poem by WickedEve.

For the first part of this discussion we are only going to talk about imagery and how the use of key words affect that image. I will do this all through the illustration of one line of the poem. Please read the entire poem think about what it means to you. Then return to the first line.

A Private Affair
by WickedEve ©

Rolling restless across rumpled waves of percale green.
Reckless fingers race down slippery-paved road between.
Sweat sliding, gliding down my skin slick, glowing, glistening.
Breathing rapid, hurried, heaving as I lie listening.
Mind melting, thoughts liquid, pouring, puddling, muddling up my brain.
Wants trickle and run, needs bleed, must have it before I go insane!

This is a good line, yet in my opinion it lacks space. Take another look:

“Rolling restless across rumpled waves of percale green.”

A nice image indeed, yet it could be better. When you read the line I feel the poet has left us no room by providing more detail than we need. We do see the image, yet we are bystanders being hand held through it.
Let’s put aside the alliteration used (The multiple use of words that begin with the letter R) Bravo Eve! We will address the alliteration when we examine the form.

In reducing the line to its heart while still making sense I would say this is better:

Restless waves of percale green

In the changed line we get the same image as the original, yet we are forced to think and to enter the image instead of being bystanders.
To decipher the meaning of the opening words “Restless waves.” Our first thought may be that she’s dreaming, tossing, and turning. Then perhaps, she’s awake and frustrated? Maybe she’s drowning? We have an idea that’s close to the writers’ intent, but it is open enough so that we don’t have all the answers. The mind loves a mystery and a journey. A poem does not have to be a mystery, but it must be a journey. The answer comes to this mystery in the words “of percale green.” Of course, it’s sheets! Now that we have this feeling, or thought, is the image now complete in our minds? No not yet! We know it sheets but the fact that our minds must search for the connection of a subtle color makes the image transparent.

If Eve had said blue we might have thought she was referring to the ocean.

Restless waves of blue.

If she had said red we might have thought she was having a seizure, or was angry.

Restless waves of red.

If she had said green we might think grass.

Restless waves of green.

Isn’t it amazing how one word can change the meaning of the entire line?
This is the art of poetry! When you have finished constructing a poem, stand back and look at it line by line, as I have done here. Then reduce that line to its core image. Is the image alone enough? Here I think it is. The condensed line is far more powerful and yet subtle. We get a delight, a shiver as we ponder it. At least I do.

“Restless waves of percale green.”

What is key here is “percale”, a simple word yet it adds depth, imagery and clearly leads us, yet does not overwhelm us. A less experienced poet might have felt the need to add things like:

“Restless waves of soft sunflowers on percale green sheets.”

That may be better to some yet all it really does is render a flat image that requires little thought or imagination. It’s okay yet after we read it once what is there to think about? Does it resonate inside you? I say it doesn’t. But then I expect more for poetry than many. I expect a journey.

Next we will look at form using the first line only.

U.P.

 

[Whispersecret]

Well, if a lightbulb hasn't just exploded in my brain! I've always thought that writing should be descriptive, and perhaps it's the fact that I'm actually a prose writer (with a tendency to overwrite!) My goal is to paint a picture so complete that the reader can see what I see, live the story I'm telling, identify with the characters I've created. I want them surrounded by the picture I have in my mind, the smells, thoughts, feelings, everything. But that is prose. In a story or novel, we have the leeway to expand and the freedom to use a greater quantity of words.

I can see that I've been applying this same purpose to my poetry, even though I love a puzzle myself. I love trying to figure out the answers, and when I read poetry I"m not always successful, but sometimes the words are so beautiful that I don't care.

I can see that I'm going to have to let this lesson percolate a while before it will find it's way into my "poetry." Thanks, U.P. Thanks a bunch.

 

[karmadog]

love it

This thread is a great idea. I've been trying to teach myself about poetry. While there is a lot to be said for autodidaction, a little help is always appreciated.

I can't wait for the discussion on form. I have the most difficulty with that. Please discuss rhythm as well.

 

[Unmasked Poet]

Form

Nothing clears a room faster than a call for free drinks or a discussion on form.
Poets with talent and without talent will turn blue and pout at the very mention of the word. In my opinion form is the skeleton that you hang your words on. Every poem to be successful must have form. Most poems you read will be in freeverse, which is a poetic form. Freeverse, while not as structured as a sonnet, will still use many of the techniques used in sonnet construction. It may also throw in devices from other forms. Hence the form name. The important thing to remember about forms is that the title is literal. They are just forms! You pour words into the form and you get a poem. Can you write a formless poem? Of course you can, but what you most often end up with is a jumble of words.

The form at its simplest is a single device. Rhyme is a device. If you rhyme you are using part of a form. If you repeat a line you are using a device (Refrain) If your poem is grouped in two lines that rhyme your are using a device (Couplet)

99% of all poems on this board use devices and as such are using form. The reason many poems do not work well is because the poets are unaware of the form, or that they’re even using it and so they cannot control it. You do not need to learn forms (although it will vastly improve your ability to write and your word choice.) If you can become only fair at devices you can succeed as a poet. Back to our poem:

A Private Affair
by WickedEve ©

Rolling restless across rumpled waves of percale green.
Reckless fingers race down slippery-paved road between.
Sweat sliding, gliding down my skin slick, glowing, glistening.
Breathing rapid, hurried, heaving as I lie listening.
Mind melting, thoughts liquid, pouring, puddling, muddling up my brain.
Wants trickle and run, needs bleed, must have it before I go insane!

The poem is in Freeverse form. It use these poetic devices:

Rhythm (ah rhythm many poets do not get rhythm, like music rhythm is the beat, the time a poem moves at.) As in music there are many beats with 4/4 being the most common in popular music.
Rhyme (you guys know what rhyme is)
Meter (a unit of measurement in poetry and music)
Couplet (the grouping of two lines ending with the same rhyme)
Alliteration (The grouping of words beginning with the same letter)

Rolling restless across rumpled waves of percale green.

I know I said I would use only one line, well I’m going to cheat! Our reference line, say it aloud to yourself. You may not know what rhythm is in poetry but say the line again please. You can feel the rhythm when you speak the line, there is a time signature. No need to measure it, but we can slow it down and illustrate it by counting syllables, 13 in this line. Now lets change the rhythm:

Rolling restless across rumpled waves of percale green(13)
Changed to:
Rolling raucously across rumpled waves of percale green(14)

The second line maintains the alliteration, and still makes sense but is harsher to say. The second word “raucously” breaks the rhythm. Raucously has three distinct beats this line pattern is two. Read both lines again. Now certainly you can hear the difference in rhythm and what one single word change can do. The second line fails because the second word is out of rhythm. The 3rd word “across” being a rhythm of “2” cannot easily support the weight of “raucously” which has “3” beats or syllables, if we change the word across we can smooth out the rhythm a bit:

Rolling raucously awashed rumpled waves of percale green

That is better rhythm! Now the first line is still better but you can hear how we have smoothed out the changed line. "Awashed" and "rumpled" flow better because of the "d" a very sutle change but if you reinsert the changed line into the poem it resonates. So I think you can see or at least hear that rhythm is different from rhyme. When you change a word in a poem, you change it’s rhythm. Even when reading silently your mind will follow the rhythm of the words. Have you ever read a poem and stuttered in your head? Tripped so to speak, it happens a lot and takes you completely out of the read doesn’t it. Bad rhythm ruins the journey.

There is no need to count syllables. Speak the words and you can hear the rhythm. Often you can match syllables, and the line will still be out of rhythm or time. Word choice is everything.

The rhyme and rhythm work fairly well in this poem. Whether a poem rhymes or not good rhythm will make your poetry fly. Remember I said I was going to cheat? Well here it comes; our last example of rhythm read the entire poem.

Rolling restless across rumpled waves of percale green. (13)
Reckless fingers race down slippery-paved road between. (13)
Sweat sliding, gliding down my skin slick, glowing, glistening. (13)
Breathing rapid, hurried, heaving as I lie listening. (13)
Mind melting, thoughts liquid, pouring, puddling, muddling up my brain.(15)
Wants trickle and run, needs bleed, must have it before I go insane! (16)

Ok why do the last two lines work in this poem? Yes the rhythm is longer but that’s okay that’s a device. It is sort of like a singer holding the notes in a song to make them fit.
Remember that Dolly Parton, Whitney Houston song “I will always Love You” Hum that line, hear how long the I is held to fit the rhythm of that line. Well poets do it also, especially spoken word poets. The reason the last two lines work is because of rhythm and use of a device, not rhyme though. The third and fourth lines end in on the rhyme g. The poet set up the extension of the rhythm by using the end rhyme g earlier in the 3rd line. Notice “sliding” “gliding” “glowing” all take place before the end rhyme “glistening” (this creates a counter rhythm within the line) She continues this counter rhythm throughout the poem down into the 4th and 5th lines. On the sixth line she stops and relies on the end rhyme to bring the poem to a close. She keeps the rhythm close and stresses the end rhyme on two beats (remember that song reference?) in the last word. I doubt Eve counted the syllables (what some poets do by design, some do by instinct) I doubt Eve tried to create counter rhythm; again I’m sure it just sounded right. Yet if you like Eve’s work like the style and you don’t have her natural ear if you know the devices you can write just a well, without having her talent.

Next we talk about style.

U.P.

 

[perks]

Keep going UP. I'm hungry.

thanks,
perks