Abortion Debate

[DreamKeeper]

Be respectful. Debate, is different from flaming.

Hopefully this will be a safe space.
Hopefully the only ones to post here are those truly looking to soothe their anxieties, those who have had an abortion looking to support other women and couples in making their own decision, and others supporting pro-choice who have made this choice already.

Please do not push your morals, thoughts, or experiences onto others in hopes to "change their minds" in one direction or another. If there was ever a time or place to be unbiased, it is here and now.

Many regret this decision, but in the end come to terms by saying it was a positive regret... so please, if you are making this decision or have made up your mind to go through with the procedure... try not to be swayed by the probable many who will bring up regret. For others it was the best decision for them, and still have no regret but have lingering thoughts on the matter; they will likely share here too.

Everyone is different. Societal norms try and form us, laws try and make us conform... choose your words carefully here, because this is meant to be a space free from conformity.

 

[rosebud5446]

Topics like this generally don't go over well in forums. Somebody is eventually going to get offended, and it probably won't take long.

 

[DreamKeeper]

being a member for a good number of years - and not really seeing this come up - I think more people are willing to leave it alone since I've never seen it come up because it is such a difficult topic for many people.

If these forums can be host to conversations on incest, beastiality, bdsm, glbt issues ... talk about sex out of wedlock, divorce, dating, rape... (I'm not making any of these topics akin with one another - I'm just saying they aren't missionary sex with the lights out) with white collar, blue collar, every ethnic, state and many countries around the world... it can be a host to these 3 threads.

Sure... flaming will happen, when it is ignored and everyone stops to be educated on the topics at hand (or leaves because they aren't getting the attention they wanted) ... people learn facts, specific cases, learn that we humans are not just black and white; but shades of gray... I'll get disagreed on with that, but, that is what life is all about.


and besides... opinions are like assholes... everyone has one.

 

[shy slave]

You have started this in several forums.

Why?

What is the issue with it?

This kind of topic will always lead to upset and flames.

I am at a lose to understand your need to discuss this and your naivety in believing it could be a discussion without people becoming hurt, angry or upset.

 

[center_stage]

You have started this in several forums.

I noticed the same thing and wondered why as well. The way the other thread is worded sounds like a sociology assignment to me. I'm starting to question the validity of this "debate."

 

[Aigisthos]

I noticed the same thing and wondered why as well. The way the other thread is worded sounds like a sociology assignment to me. I'm starting to question the validity of this "debate."

Nobody's making you respond. If you are genuinely unwilling to enter into a debate because you don't think you're mature enough to distance yourself from it emotionally, don't take part.

I'll start.

Although I believe morally that every fetus should be given the opportunity to proceed to adulthood, I also believe that every woman has the right to control what happens to her body. Thus, if it is solely my choice, I would not suggest an abortion, but each and every woman should be entitled to their own decision, without adverse social responses.

 

[M's girl]

Until people are educated enough to not make babies untill they are ready to take on that responsibility emotionally and financially I think women should have an opt out. Especially also as long as rapists and men who commit incest can't keep their dicks in their pants, women should be able to get rid of an otherwise life-long reminder of a hideous crime that was committed against them.

 

[done_got_old]

I noticed the same thing and wondered why as well. The way the other thread is worded sounds like a sociology assignment to me. I'm starting to question the validity of this "debate."

......and I've been a member for a good many years, yet this ID has only been a member this year.

 

[Eilan]

Nobody's making you respond. If you are genuinely unwilling to enter into a debate because you don't think you're mature enough to distance yourself from it emotionally, don't take part.

Jump to conclusions, much?

 

[center_stage]

Nobody's making you respond. If you are genuinely unwilling to enter into a debate because you don't think you're mature enough to distance yourself from it emotionally, don't take part.

I am mature enough to distance myself from it emotionally. I just felt that the original post was a bit blunt and odd. There was no type of introduction, just instructions. I can respectfully have a debate about this without (intentionally) offending anyone, I have done so many times before.

I will not be stating my opinion in this thread because I feel that an abortion debate will cause hurt and anger. As much as we may try to separate ourselves, human emotions are a lot stronger than we know of, and some of us (as is usually the case with me) will automatically move into defense mode with our responses if we feel that we are being attacked.

 

[M's girl]

I just felt that the original post was a bit blunt and odd. There was no type of introduction, just instructions.

This thread was started almost at the same time by the same person. I wondered why he/she thought it was a good idea to start this thread simultaniously. For someone who claims to be on this board for a few years already....

being a member for a good number of years -

with a join date of januari 2007 ( ) he or she clearly does not understand how Lit (or BB in general, for that matter) work...

 

[DreamKeeper]

This thread was started almost at the same time by the same person. I wondered why he/she thought it was a good idea to start this thread simultaniously. For someone who claims to be on this board for a few years already.... with a join date of januari 2007 ( ) he or she clearly does not understand how Lit (or BB in general, for that matter) work...

Read more carefully. I'm an alt. I know Lit board dynamics. And I say this in the most humble way possible - if you could imagine me on my knees groveling at Manu, Laurel, and all the Forum Mods- the thread wouldn't survive for the seconds that it has survived on the HT/BDSM cafe boards... can we all at least admit that? The places in which the Cafe's are located seem to have the most 'understanding' and level headed 'debate' groups on Lit. They are where newbies seem to find the answers to their questions... not so much on the GB (unless you have a thick skin to run with the wolves), or the Playground.

And, furthermore, I am not naive, I know this will be flamed, trolled - and all the other nasty things that could happen on Lit.
And I tell you now (lol), I am no Brinnie, or Loving Tongue or anyone else who has wreaked havoc and chaos on these boards ... I'm an alt, not a troll.

I guess I needed more explaining before I just presumed this would work on Lit at all. Here is what I posted on the bdsm cafe.

"Yes. I'm an alt of a person that has frequented here and the other forums for over five years. It wasn't cowardice, it was more sort of protection. No one should be flamed and questioned if they don't want to answer.
I created the alt because how can a person ask such personal things of people without going through the situation themselves and have any relevance (to other people) in the conversation? I asked a few things I didn't understand or was curious about in an anonymous way and asked that if others feel comfortable they can share publically, privately, or even as an alt - to correct wrong infornmation, to get anything off their chest they need to, to debate, to comfort and be comforted in a trying time.
We are here for eachother - through so so many things, and we are here for strangers in nearly the same exact ways. Why make this topic at hand any different?


The polls were created for awareness that the thread exists. It was a yes/no question with zero promp on the poll page to say who they were or not. It was to highlight SweetErika's points exactly- just to make statistics more real, and give the stats a home face instead of "...of America, of the world..."
I posted a 'follow up' link so that if people wanted to - they could.
Zero pressure.

Answer if you want - Ignore it if you want.
I apologise if people took offense and felt like they had to answer - that was not my intention. Alot goes ignored as it is on Lit - relevant issues, silly games between members, flame wars, trolling... and some of the same things get hit with heat.

As for messaging this screen name with personal accounts - I just tossed that out there as an idea. Take it or leave it. As I said before, giving my word and making promises to privacy may not seem sincere - but for what it is worth, I tell no lies, this topic is "too big" for lack of better words to not treat it with up most respect.

It is a choice (legally in most places) for now - agree with it or not; it exists, and it has for a good deal of time. "Naturally" and medically.

And that is what I offered people, a choice - believe me, or not.


Does it belong here?

In reality, yes, I suppose it would belong in the GB. But truly... it wouldn't stand a chance there. Does it belong on the HT, no, not exactly - it isn't a true HT. Playground? no. Personals? no. Photos and Roleplaying? no. It is a cafe discussion at best - and the HT and BDSM boards have a cafe. I posted it 'everywhere' so that people who don't cross board post see it. If the thread gets shuffled under the rugs, then fine. At least it is there. People come to Lit for millions of reasons - mostly though, they look for infornmation, guidance, friendship and to feel normal somewhere no matter their kink, world view, or to know they aren't alone in whatever crisis (big or small) they are having..."

 

[M's girl]

Read more carefully. I'm an alt. I know Lit board dynamics.

Would have helped if you had said so in ONE thread (the other one probably) and started one discussion. Instead you confused a lot of people (obviously) and now you are saying we should have studied your 'behaviour' more carefully to understand where you are coming from. It's not a puzzle you know?

I don't mind the question and I think it's a valid topic of discussion. I don't understand why you chose to post one question and then post this oneliner seperately. It's something noobs do when and because they don't understand the dynamics of this board. I also think it's only natural to get all sorts of responses and 'banning' the ones you don't want to hear in advance is not how it works. Feels a bit like AM Pics where people are desperately seeking validation and egoboosting. Abortion is not a subject to treat the same way as AM Pics.... IMHO. Plus, when you've been on Lit for such a log time you know that certain questions simply do not belong in all subforums. Don't know... just my 2 cents....

I hope you get some valid responses after this. Abortion is looked upon different by everyone. As long as it's not used as a method of birth control I think it's great women have that option!

 

[DreamKeeper]

Would have helped if you had said so in ONE thread (the other one probably) and started one discussion. Instead you confused a lot of people (obviously) and now you are saying we should have studied your 'behaviour' more carefully to understand where you are coming from. It's not a puzzle you know?

I don't mind the question and I think it's a valid topic of discussion. I don't understand why you chose to post one question and then post this oneliner seperately. It's something noobs do when and because they don't understand the dynamics of this board. I also think it's only natural to get all sorts of responses and 'banning' the ones you don't want to hear in advance is not how it works. Feels a bit like AM Pics where people are desperately seeking validation and egoboosting. Abortion is not a subject to treat the same way as AM Pics.... IMHO. Plus, when you've been on Lit for such a log time you know that certain questions simply do not belong in all subforums. Don't know... just my 2 cents....

I hope you get some valid responses after this. Abortion is looked upon different by everyone. As long as it's not used as a method of birth control I think it's great women have that option!

The multible threads were to spread awareness on boards (to people) who do not cross post (ie people who ONLY spend time on one board). I can see how it could be viewed as noobish, but eh, not exactly. The internet is so quick and filled with info, that alot of people skim - and more people were concerned with my post count - then by what I was saying. It was very 'judge by the cover' and confused me honesly.
We're so "help! and, be helped" around here what does it matter if I was new or not lol... I was judged on so many levels it surprised me. Makes me realized that we're ALL human and it happens (judgements) no matter how "open minded" we claim to be.

Reasoning behind seperate threads is because the topic itself is very dynamic and needs to be seperated into how it is compartmentalized "in real life" (ie, not online) before it became a mash of issues, ideas, and healthy debate (and flames) on just one thread.


Obviously, I agree. I hope everyone gets valid answers, help, healthy debate etc... after all this "oops on me, why did she do this" ends.

 

[angelkitty7888]

well in all honesty i don't care if your a noob or an alt. i don't care if there's a reason or not i think it should be possible for people to have a debate without questioning post counts and such.....

on the subject of abortion!

I also believe that every child should have a chance to grow and mature into adulthood. but i definately see the point of choice.... what if there was a rape? incest? physical complications that might kill the mother and fetus both?or the woman was to young to carry it? things of that nature are always a problem....

but i believe that if there is a woman who doesn't care if she gets pregnant because she can just have an abortion i don't believe she should be able to get one... can she put the child up for adoption? sure! but if you're going to have an abortion just because you were stupid enough to sleep with someone bareback (unless under the influence of drugs etc.) i don't believe you should be able to.... and if the fetus is older than a certain age you shouldn't be able to either... yay heartbeats and brains... just me i guess....

personally i wouldn't have an abortion because every life deserves a chance.... even if i was subject to rape/incest i'd probably still keep the child just because it is part of myself.... therefore while it might be a painful reminder of a horible time, to me a child is a gift that shouldn't be wasted.... nothing to do with god... hell i'm not even christian or heterosexual *shrug*

so.... yeah.... that's my opinion..... take ot or leave it...

 

[ammre]

While i wouldn't choose it, (I had a preggers scare and as i had to actually think about it, i knew i wouldn't do it.) I'm not going to choose what other's should do.

though, I'm not down with second or third trimester abortions. The central nervous system forms after the first trimester... That's 3 months... If you let those 3 months pass knowing and not doing anything about it, then abort later, that's not cool...


as for the original post, i wish you had written something. I hate it when people are like:
"onewordtopic... ok, go!"
That's a crappy way to start a debate on a bullitin board. You have an opinion and if you made an alternate name, then clearly you have already safeguarded your identity from being connected to the opinion.