A Subs Punishment for Jealousy

[HandsomeHunk]

A DOM accepts a sub into training because she asks him to. He gives hundreds of hours to instruct her...in all matters

Jealousy is the killer of all relationships. It's a lesson she must learn. To either accept the fact that a DOM is what he is..or to dismiss herself.

Any comments?

 

[alonelygal]

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[bmw1080]

If that means that He is with others, then so be it. His happiness is what ultimately matters to me.

alonlelygirl, you have been well trained. But why the nic, from your comments I would assume that you have a Master. A sub should be content that if she has a good Master he will not be ignoring her intentionally. It may be part of her training. She will accept his choice to have another partner with them. To watch, observe and learn. Then she will be a better sub.

The Master should never though ignore her completely.

 

[alonelygal]

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[bmw1080]

You should never underestimate yourself alonelygal. just for you.

 

[alonelygal]

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[bmw1080]

I am sure it is all part of your training lonelygal.

 

[corkie2]

You know.......I keep seeing this thread and trying not to say anything but I just have to. I personally do not feel it is right to punish a sub for being jealous when her Sir plays with another sub. It is a natural thing to feel and instead of punishing her they should work together and to hlep her work through it.

First of all if in their initial negotiations about limits the topic of including others is discussed (and it should always be discussed during the initials discussions) and it is agreed by both that no additional submissives would be brought in then it should not happen unless it is discussed and the change is agreed on. However, if it is something that is accepted by both that it will happen then they need to work on helping the sub to learn to deal with it. The Sir should work with her and give lot's of support and reassurance of his love for her to help her to grow and get past it.

She should not be puinished for jealousy alone....punishment is not deserved unless she misbehaves. If she is not being obedient and is displaying her feelings by acting out then yes...punishment has been earned. Otherwise....her feelings should be acknowledged but she should be praised for being brave and strong and pleasing her Sir. Her good behaviour should be rewarded as a way of supporting and encouraging her adjustment to the change.

I would not be able to help feeling jealous if my Sir were to bring in another sub. But, if I were to see that she did not displace my place in His heart and He continued to encourage me by treating me the same as always I would be able to overcome it with time.

If I were punished for my feelings of jealousy the only thing I would learn is that my feelings do not matter and to do a better job at hiding how I felt. I would not feel free to openly share with my Sir my true feelings and this I strongly feel is not something He wish's me to do.

As far as accepting my Sir for who He is this I have not problem with. But I could not stay with someone who did not respect me and respect my limits. Especially the hard limits like being monogomous. IF I am to be expected to just swallow my feelings and not share them with my Sir then it would never work out. I need a Sir that want's to know me inside and out....someone who will not punish me for how I feel but instead only punish's for misbehaviour....if it is just because he is in the mood to beat me then that is different. That is his right.

Ok..........I will stop rambling....I just felt a strong need to add me 2 cent's to the mix.

 

[alonelygal]

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[Journey1Bear]

peace

I don't think we have all the information needed to make a decision as to who did what. and why she feels the need to accept his punishment. If she feels it, then she does.

I was hoping to see other subs come to comfort her...and give her guidance

 

[Kajira Callista]

A DOM accepts a sub into training because she asks him to. He gives hundreds of hours to instruct her...in all matters

Jealousy is the killer of all relationships. It's a lesson she must learn. To either accept the fact that a DOM is what he is..or to dismiss herself.

Any comments?

sounds like you are looking for people to agree with your abuse

 

[LisaFunOne1]

it all depends.
was she aware from the beginning of your relationship that you would be involved with other women?
im not sure watching a Dom with another woman is punishment, but it is trouble. the whole problem came from, surprise, her Dom with another woman. and id imagine then, she wasnt even watching. it sounds like this Dom got caught behind her back and hes now punishing her for it....
yes i know its none of my business, but ive been abused as a sub, and dealt with several alleged Doms who werent near that word. no, thats not an accusation of the D/s couple in question.
if you, the Dom, didnt make her aware another woman would be involved and gain her consent, your participation with this second woman was outside the relationship and cheating. plain and simple. if she was aware and is afraid this other woman is going to steal her Master, well then, have you considered allowing these two girls to befriend each other, reassure the sub that the second woman isnt a backstabber?
where are you two located?
i apologize for any acerbic language, im just very used to jealousy and its nature.

 

[Journey1Bear]

Peace

PM her and ask your questions. I'd like to see this come to some resolution. In a peaceful manner.

 

[the Royal wench]

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=246038&perpage=25&pagenumber=1

 

[corkie2]

"HandsomeHunk" or "Journey1Bear" whichever you wish to be called I have the nagging impression that you are one of these dominant persons that feel your word/point of view/desires are all that count and your woman/submissive or slave if you will should just stuff how she feels and go along with you and what you say/want/do because.....of course you are right and should have anything you want because you are a "dominant man".

In some way's this is ok but then you are by virtue of taking the role in her life as her "owner" are responsible for her mental well being. I wonder just how much training/education you have in how the human psyche work's. Have you any knowledge of what you are requiring or "teaching" her will do to her emotionally?

So what if you have spent "hundreds" of hours to her "training". It took more that that for her to learn to feel the way she does. What are you doing in your daily behavior to teach her that she does not have to feel secure? I know it took me several years to overcome the fear that my man would betray me, turn mean and start to abuse me!

The foundation of jealousy is feeling insecure.......teaching her to stuff her feelings......tell herself she is silly to feel the way she does and that it is wrong to feel that way.......requiring her to suffer the humiliation of being required to not only select the woman but then watch you have sex with that woman in front of her...........to me will only show her that her true feelings should be stuffed down deep inside and denied while re-enforceing her inner feelings of being wrong for her way to be thinking/feeling irreguardless of how justified they might be for either past of present event's. Unfortunately, research has shown that stuffing/denying ones feeling's only leads to those same feeling's coming out in other unhealthy way's.

Yes, punish misbehaviour......but do so in healthy way's not way's the could possibly damage the inner psyche that you cannot see. You will not know the damage you might be doing to her until it is to late!

Be careful lest you ruin something very precious and irreplaceable. Assuming that just because you are what you are(a dominant male) you automatically have the knowledge to mess with her head in a way that wont damage her emotionally just so you can have what you want, might just back fire on you. I would be willing to be you are not trained/educated in the mental health field and therefore have only your self proclaimed knowledge that going by the two thread's on this topic give the appearance that the only reason this problem of her "jealousy/insecurity" is a problem for you is because you want to be with two women.

Why is she not enough for you??? Bet she is not bi-sexual and has no interest in being with another woman. Would this "problem" exist if you were content with just one woman/submissive/slave?? Is it truely necessary that you have more than one?

 

[HandsomeHunk]

Peace

corkie,


you have no idea as to what you are saying..just rambling on...and dead wrong on all the issues.....give it up...be more open....it will get you farther in life....

Now.....push off...Precious and I are beyond your needless....unintelligent ramblings of a woman who is clueless....

 

[corkie2]

"A DOM accepts a sub into training because she asks him to. He gives hundreds of hours to instruct her...in all matters

Jealousy is the killer of all relationships. It's a lesson she must learn. To either accept the fact that a DOM is what he is..or to dismiss herself.

Any comments?"


Excuse me, YOU are the one who came here and asked for comment's. So naturally I thought you desired to hear other peoples thought's about your statement above. Sorry, my mistake....obviously you were seeking responses exclusively from those that agreed with your POV and did not wish for a dialog with those of differing opinions.

I have my answer about what kind of Dom you are........Especially since you have resorted to trying to insult my intelligence instead of honestly answering my questions. My opinions are based on first hand knowledge and experience. Some of those experiences are my own and the rest are those of people I personally know.

I wont waste any more of my time on this thread as it does no good to try and discuss something honestly with those who are closed minded. (Just because someones opinion does not agree with yours does not automatically mean that either of you are wrong.)

I harbor nor bad feelings toward you for your harsh words. Just disappointment that you are not open to honest discussion.

So, I wish you and your lady much happiness in the future. May you find all that you seek as you journey along your chosen path.

 

[Betticus]

Considering the post it's pretty open to interpretation. I'm not exactly what the sub in question is jealous of. I'm assuming that you have other relationships and that is causing the problem.

Everyone gets jealous, it's part of human nature.

The only thing I can think of is that she's having a trust issue or that she has a deep seated emotional insecurity that she hasn't been able to overcome.

 

[heckle]

Reviving the dead......

With the original post, there is not much information to give comments on. Jealousy is a fact of human nature. In one way or another, everyone gets jealous. What makes the difference is how that jealousy is handled. As for punishments, every punishment should fit the infraction. And before the punishment is carried out, it should be explained as to why the punishment is being given (which would also allow time to discuss the infraction if need be).

Simply,
Master Tom

 

[Dstorage]

What the hell, I'll jump into this one too.

I mean, after all you did ask for comments.

I see a lot of confusion here, so maybe we should examine them one at a time.....

A DOM accepts a sub into training because she asks him to. He gives hundreds of hours to instruct her...in all matters

Well using your own words, you GAVE your time. If it is a gift then you have no claim to it after you have given it away. Otherwise you are attaching conditions to it, and if you're doing that then it is not a gift.

Jealousy is the killer of all relationships. It's a lesson she must learn. To either accept the fact that a DOM is what he is..or to dismiss herself.

Well jealousy may have been the killer of all your relationships, but that is a pretty sweeping generalization, isn't it? At any rate, rather than blame jealousy try to figure out a way to destroy it. There is only one way, and that is through trust, and trust is obtained through honesty.

If as you say you give hundreds of hours and the student hasn't learned, well, maybe you need to teach it a little differently, but remember you are the one calling the shots here, not her so don't lay the blame at her feet when things don't happen as you wish.

I don't think we have all the information needed to make a decision as to who did what. and why she feels the need to accept his punishment. If she feels it, then she does.

Again, you're supposed to be the one in control here, so if you don't think "we" have all the information then it is your responsibility to provide it. If you don't know what it is, then it is your duty to learn what you don't yet know.

I was hoping to see other subs come to comfort her...and give her guidance

Again, she has vocalized a very legitimate fear, and you are the one controlling the dynamics of the relationship, so are you kinda understanding that perhaps the both of you need a little guidance?

Now.....push off...Precious and I are beyond your needless....unintelligent ramblings of a woman who is clueless..

Remember what they say about the first person who resorts to insults has lost the debate, and is this how you usually deal with conflict?


Anyway, sorry to bust your chops like that but I think you need to do more self-evaluation into your responsibilities of making this work for the both of you. Without knowing more, I'd still strongly suggest you try to find a mentor as I think that would benefit the both of you immeasureably.

Cheers,

DS