A Stab at Sonnetry

[ewopper]

here goes if I offend sonnet lovers... oh well

The Nanticoke Nymphet

Through meadow of drying dew
Her loose fitting dress in dainty hand
Making her way to the Nanticoke
On the edge of Dorchester land
The lovely Dorothea made bare her legs
Before wading out into waters cool
As ripples distort reflections of underwear
From sharp eye of seagull overhead
While disappointed Delmarva sun strained
To see what her lover gets to see for free
In the intimacy of their bedroom at night
From the prying eyes of a Delmarva moon
As it peers into the window of the home
Of this Nymphet of the Nanticoke.

to anyone that knows the correct way, feel free to post your sonnets on this thread

H. Wilson
this is my first stab at it since 1997

 

[ewopper]

here goes if I offend sonnet lovers... oh well

The Nanticoke Nymphet

Through meadow of drying dew
Her loose fitting dress in dainty hand
Making her way to the Nanticoke
On the edge of Dorchester land
The lovely Dorothea made bare her legs
Before wading out into waters cool
As ripples distort reflections of underwear
From sharp eye of seagull overhead
While disappointed Delmarva sun strained
To see what her lover gets to see for free
In the intimacy of their bedroom at night
From the prying eyes of a Delmarva moon
As it peers into the window of the home
Of this Nymphet of the Nanticoke.

to anyone that knows the correct way, feel free to post your sonnets on this thread

H. Wilson
this is my first stab at it since 1997

more to be posted once I get the hang of it

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yay!
I'm thinking of non-rhyming sonnets too.
This Xmas season has knocked my muse somewhere north of Siberia, but you can read a couple I wrecently wrote- in my sig.

There's gonna be more!

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

I was always under the impression that sonnets had to rhyme consisting of 14 lines (iambic pentameter) with a particular rhyming scheme of

1. abab cdcd efef gg
2. abba cddc effe gg
3. abba abba cdcd cd

Or, from what I've read -

A Shakespearean sonnet has three quatrains and a couplet, and rhymes abab cdcd efef gg.

An Italian sonnet is composed of an octave, rhyming abbaabba, and a sestet, rhyming cdecde or cdcdcd, or in some variant pattern, but with no closing couplet.

Usually, English and Italian Sonnets have 10 syllables per line, but Italian Sonnets can also have 11 syllables per line.

French sonnets follow in this same pattern, but normally have 12 syllables per line.

Does anyone know of any sites that say different? I like your poem, ewopper. I'm just curious.

 

[ewopper]

I was always under the impression that sonnets had to rhyme consisting of 14 lines (iambic pentameter) with a particular rhyming scheme of

1. abab cdcd efef gg
2. abba cddc effe gg
3. abba abba cdcd cd

Or, from what I've read -

A Shakespearean sonnet has three quatrains and a couplet, and rhymes abab cdcd efef gg.

An Italian sonnet is composed of an octave, rhyming abbaabba, and a sestet, rhyming cdecde or cdcdcd, or in some variant pattern, but with no closing couplet.

Usually, English and Italian Sonnets have 10 syllables per line, but Italian Sonnets can also have 11 syllables per line.

French sonnets follow in this same pattern, but normally have 12 syllables per line.

Does anyone know of any sites that say different? I like your poem, ewopper. I'm just curious.

Thank you so much Christina you've given me an idea of how to really write a sonnet, your insight is much appreciated dear lady I had the hardest time trying to figure out what an iambic pentameter was lol, you are too sweet for mere words

 

[ewopper]

Thank you so much Christina you've given me an idea of how to really write a sonnet, your insight is much appreciated dear lady I had the hardest time trying to figure out what an iambic pentameter was lol, you are too sweet for mere words

BTW I'm glad you liked the poem

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you so much Christina you've given me an idea of how to really write a sonnet, your insight is much appreciated dear lady I had the hardest time trying to figure out what an iambic pentameter was lol, you are too sweet for mere words

I recently found the perfect site that explains sonnets- and now I have to hunt for it!
I'll bee right back
Ewop, one iamb is a pair of syllables; dah-DAH
To make a pentameter you need five of those, and it's interesting- because, I think, we are so attuned to rock and roll music, with its four-four beat, it seems most natural to stop at four...
I find myself constantly trying to find one more pair of syllables!
I'll be back with that link

 

[Stella_Omega]

yay!
here it is

 

[champagne1982]

The most important part of a sonnet, I'm told
isn't the meter found hidden within,
but the story it holds, in a language bold
and sometimes a moral against sin.
Don't tell me you think the rhyme is the thing
for that stuff is grade school and numb.
Dear Sir, I'd rather be struck dumb
than be stuck in a song I can't sing.
See, our friend, Doctor Suess had it quite proper
writing for all the world's a stage
for if we're all actors, how can we prosper
in this free verse and avant garde age?
If we cannot behave in a different norm
then sonnets are doomed as a beloved form.

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Thank you so much Christina you've given me an idea of how to really write a sonnet, your insight is much appreciated dear lady I had the hardest time trying to figure out what an iambic pentameter was lol, you are too sweet for mere words

Hey! Check this site out, dear one. Just click on the poem you'd like to learn and another screen should pop up.

I used to write rhyming poetry all the time and was real picky about syllable counts, and this is where I learned it. But I still want to know if anyone knows of any other sites that say different about sonnets. I've been to a few, and I'm being told them same.

ewopper, your poem was solid no matter what. It read smoothly. And to be honest with you, I like your non-rhyming ones better than the others. It seemed to come so natural for you. Not to say, don't write a sonnet ..because it's a little different than the Mother Goose stuff. Sonnets sound oh, I cannot describe. Maybe just one big AHH!


Example from the site:

Italian Sonnet

I set my soul free down the dreamers lane
Thoughts of joyful times bring my mind aflight
Moons of memories drip so lovely light
Stars above hum a tune to ease my pain
I sail a sea where kings of past did reign
Thoughts buried deep burn in the stars so bright
To see the legends only I may sight
A life of imagery that pumps in vein

As life is written in a hidden page
I soar among all the things that will fly
I'm always seeking my soul's so lost core
Sooths all of my hate and my painful rage
Sorrow from all my blood dripped tears I cry
Dreams are the peace felt in life times before

Copyright © 2000 Emily Webber


Now, that sounds much better (not so jumpy) than these rhymes below:

Example of a solid 8 count throughout:

"We Can't Always Get What We Want"

Most women want what they can't fix,
And I for one have tried all tricks.
Our lovers say we look just fine.
I swear they always have a line.

We always ask about our weight,
And know this makes them so irate.
They say, "You ask this every day
And hell, I don't win anyway!"

We're getting old and know the truth.
Our hair is gray; forget our youth.
We stare at women the same age,
Their hair is natural. Oh, the rage!

To buy brassieres are not the same.
We try them on and tuck in shame.
What happened to our perky breasts
That now look like fried eggs at rest?

We envy all those lucky ones.
They've given birth and kept tight buns.
How is this fair for all the rest?
Now this is something I detest!

Copyright me <cough>

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

yay!
here it is

Yeah, it's the same. I enjoyed the poems there, too. Thanks for posting another link for us.


Champagne, did you just whip that out??


Edit to add: I think I want to try one. But I have a problem. Either I'm dark or filled with this stupid humor crap. I'm just weird. <grins>

 

[Stella_Omega]

The most important part of a sonnet, I'm told
isn't the meter found hidden within,
but the story it holds, in a language bold
and sometimes a moral against sin.
Don't tell me you think the rhyme is the thing
for that stuff is grade school and numb.
Dear Sir, I'd rather be struck dumb
than be stuck in a song I can't sing.
See, our friend, Doctor Suess had it quite proper
writing for all the world's a stage
for if we're all actors, how can we prosper
in this free verse and avant garde age?
If we cannot behave in a different norm
then sonnets are doomed as a beloved form.

We are not worthy! We are not worthy!

 

[ewopper]

Hey! Check this site out, dear one. Just click on the poem you'd like to learn and another screen should pop up.

I used to write rhyming poetry all the time and was real picky about syllable counts, and this is where I learned it. But I still want to know if anyone knows of any other sites that say different about sonnets. I've been to a few, and I'm being told them same.

ewopper, your poem was solid no matter what. It read smoothly. And to be honest with you, I like your non-rhyming ones better than the others. It seemed to come so natural for you. Not to say, don't write a sonnet ..because it's a little different than the Mother Goose stuff. Sonnets sound oh, I cannot describe. Maybe just one big AHH!


Example from the site:

Italian Sonnet

I set my soul free down the dreamers lane
Thoughts of joyful times bring my mind aflight
Moons of memories drip so lovely light
Stars above hum a tune to ease my pain
I sail a sea where kings of past did reign
Thoughts buried deep burn in the stars so bright
To see the legends only I may sight
A life of imagery that pumps in vein

As life is written in a hidden page
I soar among all the things that will fly
I'm always seeking my soul's so lost core
Sooths all of my hate and my painful rage
Sorrow from all my blood dripped tears I cry
Dreams are the peace felt in life times before

Copyright © 2000 Emily Webber


Now, that sounds much better (not so jumpy) than these rhymes below:

Example of a solid 8 count throughout:

"We Can't Always Get What We Want"

Most women want what they can't fix,
And I for one have tried all tricks.
Our lovers say we look just fine.
I swear they always have a line.

We always ask about our weight,
And know this makes them so irate.
They say, "You ask this every day
And hell, I don't win anyway!"

We're getting old and know the truth.
Our hair is gray; forget our youth.
We stare at women the same age,
Their hair is natural. Oh, the rage!

To buy brassieres are not the same.
We try them on and tuck in shame.
What happened to our perky breasts
That now look like fried eggs at rest?

We envy all those lucky ones.
They've given birth and kept tight buns.
How is this fair for all the rest?
Now this is something I detest!

Copyright me <cough>

I've bookmarked that page I'll use it for future references , thanks so much. I prefer writing rhyming verse, I guess it's just a love for me, I've been doing it since high school, so I'm a lover of rhyme

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

I've bookmarked that page I'll use it for future references , thanks so much. I prefer writing rhyming verse, I guess it's just a love for me, I've been doing it since high school, so I'm a lover of rhyme

Hey, whatever works for you and what you enjoy is all that matters.

And you're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help. Now wish me luck writing one. I'm filled with passion but have a hard time writing it. I want to write a special sonnet for my sweetheart. If only I can stay away from the giggly stuff.

 

[ewopper]

Hey, whatever works for you and what you enjoy is all that matters.

And you're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help. Now wish me luck writing one. I'm filled with passion but have a hard time writing it. I want to write a special sonnet for my sweetheart. If only I can stay away from the giggly stuff.

may I suggest just write out or type out in word pad or word processor spontaneous thoughts as to how you both feel and see him don't try to make any corrections. save it in a folder, let it marinate there for a brief time go back from time to time and reread it then make such corrections as you see fit, and if it's giggly it's ok too because that's how true love should be spontaneous not forced

 

[ewopper]

may I suggest just write out or type out in word pad or word processor spontaneous thoughts as to how you both feel and see him don't try to make any corrections. save it in a folder, let it marinate there for a brief time go back from time to time and reread it then make such corrections as you see fit, and if it's giggly it's ok too because that's how true love should be spontaneous not forced

every relatioship i was in went south because I tried being spontaneous and it was taken for me trying to cover up the mysterious affair I was never having [grin]

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

I can't write! I can't write! I can't do the damn thing. I have writers block! Oh, what has happened to me!!!

 

[ewopper]

I can't write! I can't write! I can't do the damn thing. I have writers block! Oh, what has happened to me!!!

You're going through what great writers experience... a rush of great ideas mushrooming,trying to get out of the secret places of your mind all at once, hang in there relax and let the thoughts arrange themselves I experience this at least three times a week. I have faith in you

 

[ewopper]

The Afterglow

The wind blowing off the Choptank river,
massaging with slightly chilled fingers her hair;
all the while blowing her thin skirt up over her waist,
caressing the cotton panties that breathed in the freshness
mixing with her feminine aroma, arousing nature itself
giving it an erection of poetic proportions
dreamed of by wordsmiths down through time
not detecting prying eyes she let the winds have their way
caressing her secret places in a ballet of foreplay
pirhouetting throughout her entire being
in a dying swan being reborn through the reniasance
of the desires of a loving soul seeking that place
of fleeting peace through the intense valley
of orgasmic tremors subsiding in the afterglow of climax

one of these days I'm gonna be a writer of prose

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

You're going through what great writers experience... a rush of great ideas mushrooming,trying to get out of the secret places of your mind all at once, hang in there relax and let the thoughts arrange themselves I experience this at least three times a week. I have faith in you

Okay, this has been going on a long time. It's because I'm a dark (er) writer. I want SO badly to get away from this. But it seems to be all I know anymore. It's been a rough couple of years for me. I'm sure if you read some of the poems in my sig line, you'd understand. I'm not going to say they're all non-fiction because they're not. Or maybe they are - I just blow them out of porportion. But anyhoo...I'm in love, I want to write a love poem, but I can't find the damn words, and I want it to be a sonnet. I'm not good with this lovey dovey stuff. And damn it, the passion is AMAZING! I'm talking AMAZING!!! Making love with this man has caused me to cry because of the joy and happiness I feel with him. And I can't write it, I CAN'T WRITE IT! *stomps feet* then *sucks thumb*

 

[ewopper]

Okay, this has been going on a long time. It's because I'm a dark (er) writer. I want SO badly to get away from this. But it seems to be all I know anymore. It's been a rough couple of years for me. I'm sure if you read some of the poems in my sig line, you'd understand. I'm not going to say they're all non-fiction because they're not. Or maybe they are - I just blow them out of porportion. But anyhoo...I'm in love, I want to write a love poem, but I can't find the damn words, and I want it to be a sonnet. I'm not good with this lovey dovey stuff. And damn it, the passion is AMAZING! I'm talking AMAZING!!! Making love with this man has caused me to cry because of the joy and happiness I feel with him. And I can't write it, I CAN'T WRITE IT! *stomps feet* then *sucks thumb*

You're doing a darn good job of it to me[ the passion is amazing]
[I'm talking amazing]
[making love with this man has caused me to cry]
because of the joy and happiness I feel with him]
you're writing it ... let it flow milady you've got the gift don't let it slip by looking for another outlet

 

[ewopper]

I Don't Know Who you are

Seeing you evokes mixed emotions
the need and want to pull you into my arms
to kiss you madly, to let my hands dance across your stage of womanhood
to rehearse in the secret places of your charms, foreplay
to feel my way as a blind man through a maze of your sensual aroma
seeing you makes me want to run away from you
from my desires, from the weakness you bring out in me
the vulnerability of my masculine bravado falls awayin your presence
My ego attempts to recover by assuming the role of dominant male
you become submissive to my less than gentle advances
I am frightened, yet astounded by the she cat unleashed in you
the fever of the moment takes over for both of us
we become lost in the animal-like passion of lust
lying beside you in the afterglow I find ...I don't know who you are

 

[ewopper]

I go Willingly

by moon-light she displays to me
her slightly clothed charms
as I peer in her window in secret
knowing should she discover me here
I am undone, yet I can't leave
my feet refuse to obey me
my erection demands I watch
heat engulfs my body
I silently groan as precum shoots down my leg
staining my sock before disappearing in my shoe
she looks out the window, right into my eyes
our orbs connect, dropping her gown she masturbates
drawing me into her web... this exhibitionistic black widow
she beckons me to come I go willingly

 

[ewopper]

To Drink Your Sweetness

Unique the flavor of your soft pliant lips
as I kiss them hungrily,addicted to their taste
insensed by the fiery heat of them
matched only by the inferno of your body
if it were possible your breasts would scorch me
from the heat of being pressed up against me
opening your legs you welcome my hand
as it explores the paths of your womanhood
you sigh or whimper as my fingers break the plane
going deeper into you, massaging the walls
deeper, deeper, running, stopping to savor the moment
my mouth begins to water, for the honey that flows
from the petals of your dew rose
I lower my head to drink your sweetness

 

[champagne1982]

<snip>
Champagne, did you just whip that out??
</snip>

In a totally feminine way.

There is room for you and a dark romance
to bring a joyful poem to your love.
Don't fear that others don't join this dance
sometimes they don't like the fit of the glove.
Sonnets to your sweetheart will spill from your heart
go ahead and let the words fall in a start
and write your passion as they land where they will
to rest, without renown, here in poetic clicheville.
Perhaps your darling will enjoy the jokes
that will sneak into the story you tell
it's surely a side of you he loves well
and of course the laughter your humour provokes.
You know deep inside that our opinions can't alter
the way that your darling wears his lover's halter.

So write passionately, then work on the rhyme and the meter. The trick, I think, is to let a poem go THEN, even though you may abhor doing it, EDIT to formula.