A Simple Question

[Pure]

A simple question that puzzles me.

If the BDSM (main) forum was--because of its dour inhabitants-- so deadly serious and unwelcoming as to put off chatters and guests**, why have all its light hearted, chatty, or welcoming threads been moved to the Cafe?

I'm considering re-introducing a _serious fluff_ thread there (Main)-- of course respecting everyone's right to have real fluffy fluff here, separately, at the Cafe.

J.

=====

**I can't quote Lance exactly, but the gist was that the main forum was dominated by dour, teacher-types who are mainly interesting in laying opinionated views and rules on others. Yet the postings and threads of these 'types' and of allegedly two-faced and censorious folks like Miss T, are arguably the main substance of threads at the cafe.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Yeah, I'm the most deadly serious, dour submissive of them all.

I'd better not even post over here. It might cause me to bust a laugh.

My dour face might crack into a thousand pieces and Sir may throw me over for one of the more....thread happy subs.

What'cha think Pure?








*snicker*


~anelize

 

[zipman]

J.

=====

**I can't quote Lance exactly, but the gist was that the main forum was dominated by dour, teacher-types who are mainly interesting in laying opinionated views and rules on others. Yet the postings and threads of these 'types' and of allegedly two-faced and censorious folks like Miss T, are arguably the main substance of threads at the cafe.

I find it fascinating that I could have such a vastly different opinion of the BDSM forum and experience at it than the one paraphrased by Pure above.

Is it me, or do others share Lance's view of the forum?


Sorry Pure, but I really am curious about this one.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: A Simple Question

I find it fascinating that I could have such a vastly different opinion of the BDSM forum and experience at it than the one paraphrased by Pure above.

Is it me, or do others share Lance's view of the forum?


Sorry Pure, but I really am curious about this one.

No, Zip. It's not just you.

 

[ammre]

Has anyone noticed me talking more lately? Since the fluff opened up i was able to be a little stupider. I've been noticing a lot more people i like and have felt a lot more welcome arround certian posts and have been getting a lot more feedback on my posts since.

maybe it's just my little naive way but yes, to me the BDSM board does seem dour and threatning... but once ya make friends (hence my enjoyment of the BDSM cafe) it's a lot less forboding. or so i think.

Finally it's in times of chaos where some people's true nature comes it... it helps you understand who you'd like to befriend and who'd you like to keep as an aquaintence. (Notice i dind't say "who you'd like to be enemies with or at odds with" becasue i think everyone should jsut love and beat eachother)

 

[bunny bondage]

actually, ammre, i'd never even noticed you before the "cafe" opened up! i'm glad to be hearing from some of our lurkers! ^_^

as for my opinion about this forum, i like it. you all know i like it. i think it's a good idea. its purpose is not the be the razor sharp dividing line between fluff and seriousness, but rather, a place to come and post when you know for a fact that you haven't anything serious to say.

 

[MissTaken]

A simple question that puzzles me.

If the BDSM (main) forum was--because of its dour inhabitants-- so deadly serious and unwelcoming as to put off chatters and guests**, why have all its light hearted, chatty, or welcoming threads been moved to the Cafe?

.

Umm they haven't been.

I moved a handful of threads on Friday and that is all.

I am confused at your post, Pure.

 

[Pure]

Hello Miss T,

Originally posted by Pure

A simple question that puzzles me.

If the BDSM (main) forum was--because of its dour inhabitants-- so deadly serious and unwelcoming as to put off chatters and guests**, why have all its light hearted, chatty, or welcoming threads been moved to the Cafe?

.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Miss T:]

Umm they haven't been.

I moved a handful of threads on Friday and that is all.

I am confused at your post, Pure.
====

Your statement confuses me: The following threads, representing all or virtually all the light or social threads of BDSM main were moved: (further almost no 'social' threads remain).

Fireside lounge
BDSM word assoc.
What's your sign
Some great news
If you were flogging cym
Weekend BDSM
Bunny goes to Japan.

You started or participated in some of these. Odd, that the sour, the 'old crowd,' ---the judgemental, the dogmatic and the censorious (you, allegedly) ---ever came up with such things, isn't it?

Odd too, that the 'cure' for the dourness and over-seriousness of the group is to remove all evidence of any lighter side to these judgemental and cliquish folks.

So, if one of us rule-bound, uptight jerks ever should manage to tell a joke over in 'main', does that get relocated, too?

Yours, likewise, in confusion,

J.

PS., for Bunny B.,

You too confuse me, sweet stuff

[on the bdsm cafe:]
a place to come and post when you know for a fact that you haven't anything serious to say.

Yes, because a non-serious word was rarely heard among those sour, judgemental folks!

We were, I see, so intimidating to you, for example, that since late Feb, you only got up the courage to say something 500 times.
(that many posts, by rough count).

Glad you're more relaxed and can really open up, now!

 

[MissTaken]

Hmmmm

well, I have offered to move any of those threads back, as well.

Post what you want, where you want. (Just no personals, handsome!)

Really.

The forums can, will and are evolving on their own, as they should.

 

[MissTaken]

From ADR's thread on the thread placement issue

No, not a prototype.

I was wondering which forum you would want to post your thread on.

Assumably, if people want to post to it, you will have put it in the "right " place and will know by responses.

In fact, what about that being the "protocol?" Post where you want and let the forums develop on their own?

Not an original idea, but I haven't moved anything since Friday and it seems that both forums are managing well and taking on their own character.




I don't want to do anything with the thread star system yet, as it does seem awfully confusing and if used, needs some tweaking.

ONe of my concerns would be those who rate threads elsewhere might think they are doing a favor by giving a thread five stars.

I meant nothing by the "fluff" comment. I wouldn't take a thread such as you described and call it fluff, at least in my own opinion.

 

[MissTaken]

And from the "name " thread

*snip for brevity*
I am trying to address the needs of as many people as possible who have over the months have posted or pmed me.

How?
1. Fluff posters or inexperienced posters don't feel like they belong here because they lack experience. Everyone has a place her, if they have an interest.

2. People enjoy the seroius discussions on the Discussion forum without the flirting, fluff, flames or hijackings.

3. A cry for less moderation and a cry for more moderation. So, two forums, one for each. Messages in my box over the recent months, "Why do you let the bullies carry on?" The answer is because there is nothing that can be done to stop them, unless the entire community ignores them. "Why is she allowed to post silly stuff?" My response was the Fireside Lounge so that people could relax and banter when they felt like it. Other messages,"Is it okay if I post this?" Geesh. We don't need a ruler here.

4. These concerns are from BDSM posters. Many regulars, many newbies or lurkers. What prompted me to start thinking about solutions was my movement of ADR's thread. That was just plain stupid and I do agree that there needs to be space for freedom of expression.

5. The number of those lurking who don't feel they have a place to post. Here is space for everyone to post and feel it is an open environment.

With regard to moderation: I will not be moving threads randomly or on my own whim. I am still trying to work out the kinks, but it will involve input from the posters when a thread is moved. Ultimately, there shouldn't be a need for a lot of thread movement, once people get a feel for where things go.

Right now, I am watching both forums to see how they may evolve on theri own. I will not be moving anymore threads over unless a poster specifically asks me to. and yes! This has happened. I am willing to return the threads that I moved the other night to the Main Forum at the thread starters request if they didn't have an opportunity to consent to the original move.

You guys have this space and can do what you want with it. Notice, there is no almight sticky or a bazillion rules to follow. Just keep it legal.

Use the forum as you wish or ignore it. It will only be as good as the posters make it.

 

[Pure]

Hi Miss T,

Thanks for the re-post. I was just looking at the details and rationale of 1.

//I am trying to address the needs of as many people as possible who have over the months have posted or pmed me.

How?
1. Fluff posters or inexperienced posters don't feel like they belong here because they lack experience. Everyone has a place her, if they have an interest. //

This is a version of the 'too dour and serious' perception. While it's possible that there are isolated cases of persons perceiving things that way, or claiming to [in] Lance's case,
a simple examination of typical cases such as Pixie Mischief and Bunny B, shows they were able to be 'comfortable' enough to make hundreds of postings in the main forum. And to the exact threads now moved so as to make them comfortable! Bunny B, in fact started a thread about a trip to Japan and the care of her hamster, which received a number of replies. (Was she secretly remprimanded by the BDSM thought police that worry Cheyenne and Lance so much?)

Conclusion, it's far from clear that social and 'chat' needs weren't being met; far from clear how the shift of threads is supposed to help better meet those needs.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hi Miss T,

Thanks for the re-post. I was just looking at the details and rationale of 1.

//I am trying to address the needs of as many people as possible who have over the months have posted or pmed me.

How?
1. Fluff posters or inexperienced posters don't feel like they belong here because they lack experience. Everyone has a place her, if they have an interest. //

This is a version of the 'too dour and serious' perception. While it's possible that there are isolated cases of persons perceiving things that way, or claiming to Lance's case,
a simple examination of typical cases such as Pixie Mischief and Bunny B, shows they were able to be 'comfortable' enough to make hundreds of postings in the main forum. And to the exact threads now moved so as to make them comfortable!

Conclusion, it's far from clear is social and 'chat' needs weren't being met; far from clear how the shift of threads is supposed to help better meet those needs.

Have to agree on many of your points Pure. I find it particularly rude to say the least that the BDSM Word Assoc., thread was moved to the Cafe when it's thread starter was Silk Velvet who left Lit in protest over the changes. If Miss T is willing to move back threads, why not start with this one whose creator did not pretend to like or agree..and then we may see the reeturn of one who was a regular liked by all from all I saw.

Seems strange also that we, accused of being unwelcoming and previously complaining, are the ones not wanting segregation and loudly wanting a mix of serious and fluff, while those claiming it should be allowed but was not, are pushing to remain seperate.

My feeling is those who felt uncomfortable about posting etc., were not acting out of anything done to them as much as issues within themselves. I for one have never before Literotica posted anywhere, mostly because I admit I do have such insecurities, but on lurking and reading for a short time on Literotica I felt safe enough to join in discussions and even start threads, all of which was welcomed the same as anyone else was. I never had any feeling I should run and hide, even when someone did/does not agree with my thoughts etc. After all this is supposed to be a forum where discussion takes place between people with a common interest, not necessarily the exact same views and experiences. Is a common way used in many instances to foster an end to discrimination and oppression. Let's not go backwards.

Catalina

 

[lady-kat]

A simple question that puzzles me.

If the BDSM (main) forum was--because of its dour inhabitants-- so deadly serious and unwelcoming as to put off chatters and guests**, why have all its light hearted, chatty, or welcoming threads been moved to the Cafe?

I'm considering re-introducing a _serious fluff_ thread there (Main)-- of course respecting everyone's right to have real fluffy fluff here, separately, at the Cafe.

J.

=====

**I can't quote Lance exactly, but the gist was that the main forum was dominated by dour, teacher-types who are mainly interesting in laying opinionated views and rules on others. Yet the postings and threads of these 'types' and of allegedly two-faced and censorious folks like Miss T, are arguably the main substance of threads at the cafe.

Pure.

i rarely post. and almost without exception, my posts are in threads of a less serious nature.

that being said;

i have never felt "unwelcome" or that the discussions were always so "deadly serious" by the regular posters here....

rather, it is a lack on my part (of R/L experience) that keeps me from posting. to represent myself as anything other than what i am would be not altogether honest..*smile*... so i keep silent, but read and digest the experiences and thoughts of the more experienced posters.....

that, to me, & IMHO, is the real beauty of these forums. a wide range of diverse people with many levels of experience, or lack of...lol.... and that there is a place here for all....

just my rambling thoughts this afternoon. i have no opinion about the forum split, or of lancecastor's comment that you quoted. (more or less)

 

[Pure]

Hi Lady Kat,

Thanks for your impressions. It's very interesting to see where this dour, forbidding, overserious idea might have come from (or not):

Pure.


i rarely post. and almost without exception, my posts are in threads of a less serious nature.

that being said;

i have never felt "unwelcome" or that the discussions were always so "deadly serious" by the regular posters here....

rather, it is a lack on my part (of R/L experience) that keeps me from posting. to represent myself as anything other than what i am would be not altogether honest..*smile*... so i keep silent, but read and digest the experiences and thoughts of the more experienced posters.....

I haven't looked at your history, but taking Ms Pixie Mischief, for example, because of her lack of BDSM experience, this shy novice, amongst all the serious pro's, managed, in the ONE month before the split, only to make about 600 postings to bdsm.

PS: It appears you made about 200 postings since early Dec., a little more than 7 months ago. So you've posted about once a day over the last 7 months. Glad you weren't too intimidated!!

By the way, were you ever reprimanded or chided by the dour and dogmatic for your light postings?