A Real Man

[Dillinger]

What exactly does this mean? What is a real man? What defines a real man in your mind? What's the difference between a real man and a real woman (other than the obvious physical diffences)? Why does either of those terms mean something different than a real person?

What does this expression mean to you? Is a real man the quintessential jock? A tough guy?

What movie actor most embodies the concept of a real man?

What real life person is truly a real man?

Does a real man cry? Does a real man eat quiche (does anyone eat quiche anymore)?

What a strange term... A Real Man. To put it into perspective. What would your definition of a Fake Man be?

Real Man
Todd Rundgren

When I was a child
I thought as a child
I spoke as a child
I didn't know better
But now I'm a man
I look like a man
I'm old as a man
And I should know better
Got my head in the sky
And my mind knows what it wants
But my body just drags me down
And my world is something you can't see
But it's still very real to me
You can find it in the hole where I keep my soul
There it is - way down inside me
There's a real man
Forget about my body and be a real man

I see with my heart
I hear with my heart
I feel with my heart
Sometimes it works better
And some so-called friends put me down
And they pity me for trying
Bad emotions push me around
But the vision shines on and on
It will shine when we all are gone
And I'd like to add a little sparkle while I'm here
Light it up - way down inside me
There's a real man
Forget about bad feelings and be a real man

Some men's world is only hate and money
Afraid of everything and they laugh at nothing
And they only live to criticize
You can laugh at me now [ha ha ha]
But the time comes to everybody
When you must decide
When that day finally comes along
You might wish you'd been a little more strong
Then you'll wake up in the morning cryin'
"Oh my God"
There it is - way down inside me
It's a real man
You got to grow up sometime
Be a real man
Suffer them slings and arrows
Be a real man
Now be a real man
Don't sell yourself for nothing
Be a real man
Don't take no crap from no one
Be a real man
Get your trip together
Be a real man

 

[Starfish]

What exactly does this mean? What is a real man? What defines a real man in your mind?

A real man... huh... well, someone who is not about to give up in life just because it is hard and can make them suffer badly.
Someone who is kind, and has deep compassion for the fault in others, and the dispises the plight of humankind... greed and hate.. that with which leads to suffering.

What's the difference between a real man and a real woman (other than the obvious physical diffences). Why is either of those terms different than a real person? I define a real woman as one that exhibts the same qualities I mentioned for that of men. No difference in my eyes.

What does this expression mean to you? Is a real man the quintessential jock? A tough guy? No. Not meaning that I see it as that.... by the book. I am sure there are many athletic men who are real men. Tough guys? You mean guys who are overly living in a shell? No, that isn't real. I do know men who are tough though... that are very real. Get my drift?

What movie actor most embodies the concept of a real man?
Noriyuki "Pat" Morita. Samuel L. Jackson. Chow Yun Fat.

What real life person is truly a real man?
Henry David Thoureau, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, My Dad, My Husband, some of my male friends....such as you, and others here at lit.

Does a real man cry? Does a real man eat quiche (does anyone eat quiche anymore)? Sure. If they feel like it.

What a strange term... A Real Man. To put it into perspective. What would your definition of a Fake Man be?
Beefed up and overpoweringly macho. Men with massive egos put on huge displays of manliness and it is raunchy and brackish and I think of it as fake, because most of those guys are blubbering babies under it all, but hey, not all of them can be fake, they really, truly are meatheads.

Now, if I could only find a real vegetarian deli.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i am very inclined to agree with Starfishy here... and i do... so..

what she said

 

[Weird Harold]

A "Real Man" is a caricature built up from all the wrong ideas that society has about gender roles. "Real Men" and "Fake Men" ar synonymous.

There are no "real men," there are only people -- some of whom happen to be of the male gender.

 

[MidnightAngel]

What exactly does this mean? What is a real man? What defines a real man in your mind?

A "real man", in my mind, is one who is simply himself. Who is proud of who he is and doesn't care what others think, and isn't afraid to be something other than the popular perception of a "real man". Mental strength outweighs physical toughness any day, IMO.

What's the difference between a real man and a real woman (other than the obvious physical diffences)? Why does either of those terms mean something different than a real person?
No difference. They don't mean anything different than a "real person" to me.

What does this expression mean to you? Is a real man the quintessential jock? A tough guy?
NO. See first answer above.

What movie actor most embodies the concept of a real man?
Can't say, because I don't know enough about their true personality.

What real life person is truly a real man?
Ghandi (agree with Starfish)
How about Mother Theresa? Can she be a "real person"?

Does a real man cry? Does a real man eat quiche (does anyone eat quiche anymore)?
Real men cry. They can eat quiche if they want, but I won't join them. Yuck!

 

[Calamity Jane]

What exactly does this mean? What is a real man? What defines a real man in your mind? What's the difference between a real man and a real woman (other than the obvious physical diffences)? Why does either of those terms mean something different than a real person?

I don't differentiate between a 'real man' and a 'real person'. It's someone who isn't afraid to be themselves, even if that's hard to do. Standing up for beliefs, friends, and others who need it. A person who isn't interested in taking the easy path, but the right one.

What does this expression mean to you? Is a real man the quintessential jock? A tough guy?

I think a person has to be 'tough' to be real. Not in the sense of physical toughness, but in the sense that they have to be able to resist the pressures that society will place on them to confrom. It takes a certain toughness to do that and not become bitter or jaded. Just being a 'jock' is no indication of 'realness'.

What movie actor most embodies the concept of a real man?

Based on roles played? Tommy Lee Jones, Samuel L. Jackson, I'm sure I could think of others too.

What real life person is truly a real man?

My grandfather, stepfather, my riding instructor, a few male friends here and in my offline life.

Does a real man cry? Does a real man eat quiche (does anyone eat quiche anymore)?

Yes a real man can cry. Though I, personally am extremely uncomfortable with tears, no matter who they come from. I think crying should be a personal, private thing. I wouldn't say I would be impressed by a man who cries. I also wouldn't turn away from a man who was crying due to extreme distress.

What a strange term... A Real Man. To put it into perspective. What would your definition of a Fake Man be?

Someone who tried to change themselves to fit the mold of what they think society in general or me specifically wanted from them. A person uncomfortable in their own skin. Spiritually weak.

 

[bluntforcemama]

My man is a real man, he eats quiche, too. He's honest, loving, caring, very intimidating to anyone who doesn't know him like I do, and he sticks to his guns and his morals. He could care less what the masses think, and he'd do anything to keep me safe. He loves children, he's great with them. He loves me, he's great with me. He holds my head over the toilet when I've got the stomach flu, and gets me cough syrup in the middle of the night when I'm coughing. He cuddles up to me when I'm cold, kisses me while I'm sleeping, opens doors for me, puts his hand on the small of my back when we're walking, rubs my fingers when we're holding hands, laughs at all my stupid jokes, and tells some pretty awful ones, himself. We laugh at silly things, we think alike most of the time, and when we don't, we don't scream and yell at each other. He puts his hands on my ass when I'm walking up the stairs ahead of him (when no one's looking, of course). He helps me dye my hair when I'm bored, and I help him bleach his when he's feeling fiesty (he makes a great platinum blond). He holds my hand when I get a flu shot, and smirks at my little grimaces until I laugh, too. He admits his feelings, and graciously tolerates my mood swings. He watches me paint, and draws funny little things to give to me when I take a break. He leaves love notes around the house. He helps me clean, do the dishes, the laundry, he's a great cook, and he makes his own pie crust.

In short, he's almost perfect.

 

[Dhalgren]

That was absolutely beautiful, Myst.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

A real man has the strength of his convictions and the courage to employ them.

 

[TygerEyez]

What DCL said.

Short, simple, and exact.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[MissTaken]

I don't denote "real man/real woman".

As some of my friends here will know, I refer to someone as being a very "real person." A person who can throw away facades and personal barriers that hide his soul. They present who they are....not who they think they should be, or who I want them to be.

Real people share their feelings, but aren't so caught up in their "right" to feel angry, hurt or frustrated that they feel a need to demean others.

Real people may cry, laugh or shout from the rooftops. Real look closely enough to see the "real" person inside me rather than trying to make me into something I am not.

Quiche? Only if they like it

 

[Black_Bird]

A real man is like a real woman: A human being before all things.

 

[Dillinger]

Thank you all for such welcome comments. Sometimes people start threads and they just peter out. But I was curious what people thought about this. And I had just been kicking that term around in my mind and thinking how peculiar it was. My questions were baiting in a way - yet no one took the obvious bait, which was very refreshing! *smile*

What this term used to mean, I believe, was more along the traditional macho image of a man. I think that's quite dated, if it actually ever was in style, and obvioiusly most of you do as well.

In light of the various threads about women and feminism - including my own about women in computer sciences and engineering - I thought this a topic worth discussing.

It really is all about people when it comes down to it. *smile*

Cause a real man, knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a womans worth
-- Alicia Keys

Took my baby to a picture show
Found a seat in the back row
Sound came up lights went down
Rambo he was blowin' 'em down
I don't need no gun in my fist baby
All I need is your sweet kiss
To get me feelin' like a real man
Feelin' like a real man
-- Bruce Springsteen

My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller
He takes his time and does everything right
Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night
He's a real smooth brother, never in a rush
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch
Spends quality time with his kids when he can
Secure in his manhood cuz he's a real man
A lover and a fighter and he'll knock a knucker out
Don't take him for a sucker cuz that's not what he's about
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Never disrespectful cuz his mama taught him that
-- Salt N Pepa

 

[T.H. Oughts]

A real man is made of many things.... I meet mine 16 years ago and still think he is #1..... here is what makes me think of him as a real man:

He can take a joke played on him and hand them out.

He will take a challange thrown his way, but if it would hurt others he backs away.

He loves children and gets down and plays with them.

He makes me smile.

He is kind, generous, honest, loving and understanding.

He does eat quiche but with a smile on his face he tells his mates he dosn't.

He would kick ass to protect myself and his children if our lives were in danger. BUT he would always try to work things out with words first to defuse a bad situation......

Most of all he listens to me and lets me have my space when I need it and I give him his to allow him to be the 'man' he is.....

 

[Laurel]

A "Real Man" is a caricature built up from all the wrong ideas that society has about gender roles. "Real Men" and "Fake Men" ar synonymous.

There are no "real men," there are only people -- some of whom happen to be of the male gender.

What WH said.

 

[Dillinger]

Real Men in movies:

Robin Williams in "The World According to Garp"

Tom Hanks as Andrew Beckett in "Philadelphia"