A quick question......

[lovetoread]

Hello,

Ya'll dont know me,lurker status is my usual mo,but I had the wierdest email debate going on and wanted other peoples' opinions.

On my email list is a person that wants to block her computer so that her husband cant visit porn sites that "lead" him to cheat with other woman. My view is that no matter how many things she puts on the puter,he will find some way to mess around and cheat anyway. I think that if she doesnt trust him to not cheat on her,why be in a relationship with him? She is convinced however that its the porn sites fault.

My question is this, does going to,watching,reading, or doing anything considered porn lead you into temptation, or is it an excuse because you arent big enough to admit its all your own choice to engage in things you know are wrong and/or will hurt your partner?

 

[SweetCherry]

We are all creatures of our own free will. Hanging out in a porn site isn't going to sway you one way or another in my opinion. It all depends on each person's ndividual life situation. Feeling ignored or unloved will lead to it more than a happy, fulfilling relationship. If she continutes with her attitude, she'll end up making him feel like he's not loved and then he might be more apt if he's got one of those personalities. Just MHO.

 

[cgraven]

2 for 1

Your friend I believe is blaming the sites for a fundamental problem in her relationship with her husband. Though the mind is the most erotic part of the man I don't believe The Porn sites will lead you to temptation.

We are all big kids. It is time we take the responsibility for actions or lack of actions and stop trying find and outside cause, for everything. In relationships look into yourself.

 

[naudiz]

Blaming porn for infideliy is like blaming heavy metal for a disturbed teenager taking out a mini-mart. Never mind the thousands of teenagers who listen to the stuff and grow up to be productive members of society.

I think if a marriage gets to the point where you feel the need to treat your partner like a child, blocking out naughty websites and monitoring his every move, that relationship has already got problems that have nothing to do with porn.

Like rock music, porn is a scapegoat. Blaming some inanimate thing sure is easier than owning up to one's own failings as a parent/spouse. He's either the cheating type, in which case he's going to cheat with or without naughty pictures to drive him to it, or she's got some serious insecurity issues, in which case no matter what he does, he's doomed. Blocking porn sites is like sticking a band-aid over a gaping chest wound. Nice thought, but it's not going to help.

 

[Paradyce]

Re: 2 for 1

Your friend I believe is blaming the sites for a fundamental problem in her relationship with her husband. Though the mind is the most erotic part of the man I don't believe The Porn sites will lead you to temptation.

We are all big kids. It is time we take the responsibility for actions or lack of actions and stop trying find and outside cause, for everything. In relationships look into yourself.

I agree... That was very well said...

 

[happychal]

Blameing porn

It is just plain silly to blame porn for infidelity. It is even worse to openly try and control your spouse by trying to place restrictions on thier computer,TV, or reading materials.

chal

 

[MissTaken]

I think if a marriage gets to the point where you feel the need to treat your partner like a child, blocking out naughty websites and monitoring his every move, that relationship has already got problems that have nothing to do with porn.

Well, put. Some women don't understand the role that porn plays in a mans recreation. Ahh but that is what it is. However, locking out porn sites, would lend fire to some heated discussions concerning trust. And without trust....???

No. Porn doesn't lead to infidelity , but could be an excerbating factor IF the infidelity piece was already part of the person's persona.

Many people who post here frequently are in very solid, monogamous relationships.