A question

[Night_Jasmine]

I do hope I'm placing this in the right place, but I have a question to ask Doms and subs in hopes of helping a friend of mine.

I have a friend who has a lot of 'issues' as far as self esteem and confidence. My friends and I have attempted to help her and she is making progress, but there are signs she is exhibiting that shows that there may be a level where we cannot help.

My friend has expressed a need to make others happy, finding her own happiness in that, and there have been many times she has commented on wishing someone would just take control of her life. As a sub myself, I recognized what this means and am thinking that perhaps she's more of a natural sub and would probably benefit from serving full time in a committed relationship.

I would very much like someone's opinion on this and if you do agree, what would be the best way to ease her into an introduction? I live in the Central part of the US, she's on the West Coast.

Thanks in advance!!!

 

[Chicklet]

My friend has expressed a need to make others happy, finding her own happiness in that, and there have been many times she has commented on wishing someone would just take control of her life.

That's not submissive behavior, that's co-dependant behavior.

Most people DO want to make others happy, submissive or not. It sounds more like she's depressed than a closet submissive.

 

[ShinigamiSama]

That's not submissive behavior, that's co-dependant behavior.

Most people DO want to make others happy, submissive or not. It sounds more like she's depressed than a closet submissive.

thats what I'm thinking as well

some people I know are manic about making people happy, to them it proves their worth atleast something, but are totaly non submissive

but I hope it works out for you and friend

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I would very much like someone's opinion on this and if you do agree, what would be the best way to ease her into an introduction? I live in the Central part of the US, she's on the West Coast.

Thanks in advance!!!

To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area (or your friend's area), try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.

 

[SweetErika]

I do hope I'm placing this in the right place, but I have a question to ask Doms and subs in hopes of helping a friend of mine.

I have a friend who has a lot of 'issues' as far as self esteem and confidence. My friends and I have attempted to help her and she is making progress, but there are signs she is exhibiting that shows that there may be a level where we cannot help.
<snip>

It sounds like what she needs is professional help and to focus on healing herself, not an addition of more novelty and stress to her current situation. With big issues, entering the lifestyle now may very well land her in abusive relationships and make her self-esteem and confidence problems far worse.

So, I'd let her be, encouraging her to work on her issues and seek the help she needs, for now. If/when she's healthy and still shows submissive qualities, you might refer her to some good resources and community events in her area if she shows an interest, but don't add to her instability by doing so when she's unwell.