a question to all masters

[desire2serve]

how do you break in new submissives? is there a test that she has to go through? and do you keep all of your submissives for a year?

 

[Betticus]

how do you break in new submissives? is there a test that she has to go through? and do you keep all of your submissives for a year?

No and No.

This isn't a kind of indoctrination with set rules or preconceptions. Every relationship is different, unique and special. If you are a sub looking for a master/dom/daddy/boy or girl friend, whatever your definition is... it is unique and you cannot apply the same rule to it that you may have to a previous relationship.

To do so cheapens the whole thing. Unless you enter a formal service with pre-set rules and doctrine (which I think is bullshit personally but others may not) then take each situation, judge it on it's own merits and throw away any preconceived notions. You only set yourself up for failure if you are not flexible as both a dom and sub.

One must ebb and flow like the tides, you both grow every day and have to take all things into consideration.

BDSM is just a part of your personality, probably a small part that has blown up because it needs a bit of attention and acceptance. Don't get too caught up in it. Smell the flowers, enjoy the sunsets, hold hands and make love. We are all possibly mostly vanilla but with an acceptance that we aren't quite like the majority of the people around us.

Good luck.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Wow, Bett. This was beautifully said *curtsies in your honor*

No and No.

This isn't a kind of indoctrination with set rules or preconceptions. Every relationship is different, unique and special. If you are a sub looking for a master/dom/daddy/boy or girl friend, whatever your definition is... it is unique and you cannot apply the same rule to it that you may have to a previous relationship.

To do so cheapens the whole thing. Unless you enter a formal service with pre-set rules and doctrine (which I think is bullshit personally but others may not) then take each situation, judge it on it's own merits and throw away any preconceived notions. You only set yourself up for failure if you are not flexible as both a dom and sub.

One must ebb and flow like the tides, you both grow every day and have to take all things into consideration.

BDSM is just a part of your personality, probably a small part that has blown up because it needs a bit of attention and acceptance. Don't get too caught up in it. Smell the flowers, enjoy the sunsets, hold hands and make love. We are all possibly mostly vanilla but with an acceptance that we aren't quite like the majority of the people around us.

Good luck.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

No and No.

...

One must ebb and flow like the tides, you both grow every day and have to take all things into consideration.

... with an acceptance that we aren't quite like the majority of the people around us.

Good luck.

Geeze, what a threadkiller! What else is there to say?

Nicely done, Bett.

 

[WriterDom]

I keep them for two years. They still run good after one year and the trade in difference isn't that much. I gave up on American subs years ago. Now it's strictly Japanese. And made in the USA is just as good. As long as they are Japanese.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

I keep them for two years. They still run good after one year and the trade in difference isn't that much. I gave up on American subs years ago. Now it's strictly Japanese. And made in the USA is just as good. As long as they are Japanese.

ROFLMAO

 

[Condatis]

No and No.....


.....BDSM is just a part of your personality, probably a small part that has blown up because it needs a bit of attention and acceptance. Don't get too caught up in it. Smell the flowers, enjoy the sunsets, hold hands and make love. We are all possibly mostly vanilla but with an acceptance that we aren't quite like the majority of the people around us.

Good luck.

In my view, what well considered, well constucted answer and excellent answer.

As you say 'different strokes...etc'...and one other thing that I believe is necessary is that of trust, mutual trust. A good D will always be aware of boundaries.

I am lucky, and found a wonderful sub', and in my case, love is the foundation and the fuel that feeds our fire...

 

[midwestyankee]

I keep them for two years. They still run good after one year and the trade in difference isn't that much. I gave up on American subs years ago. Now it's strictly Japanese. And made in the USA is just as good. As long as they are Japanese.

Nuclear subs run even longer. Just sayin'...

 

[Keroin]

I took a test once. My results were sub-standard.

Good morning midwestyankee!

 

[desire2serve]

how do you break in new submissives? is there a test that she has to go through? and do you keep all of your submissives for a year?

Hey Bett thank you for the information, I found it to be very helpful.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

I took a test once. My results were sub-standard.

Good morning midwestyankee!

Nothing is better than a good old fashioned Italian sub with all the fixin's
So I'm not a Domme but I couldn't resist...all my buddies started it

 

[Over_Lord]

The only meaningful test is that relating to loyalty and honesty.

Casual, in-it-for-temporary-kicks players can feign just about all else.

The test of time, in other words.

IMHO people either are or aren't submissive. The only guys I know who have to 'break in new subs' are the Royal Navy.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I wouldn't see the point of a contract for a year. Either you're committed to someone for the foreseeable future or you're not. I think people can spend far too much time on the fine print and lose the passion and the fun that is supposed to be there. I submit to my Master because I love him to death and want to spend my life with him. I would have no desire to submit to and serve some guy who wasn't prepared to commit himself emotionally in the longer term.

Just my tuppence.

 

[Keroin]

The only The only guys I know who have to 'break in new subs' are the Royal Navy.

Darn, I wish I'd thought of that one.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Yes, I keep mine for one year.

 

[Keroin]

Yes, I keep mine for one year.

And then what?

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

I wouldn't see the point of a contract for a year. Either you're committed to someone for the foreseeable future or you're not. I think people can spend far too much time on the fine print and lose the passion and the fun that is supposed to be there. I submit to my Master because I love him to death and want to spend my life with him. I would have no desire to submit to and serve some guy who wasn't prepared to commit himself emotionally in the longer term.

Just my tuppence.

I agree Velvet. Thats like the sub/slave that wants to be owned, collared even, but doesn't want a commitment

 

[kara_disir]

(emphasis mine)

No and No.

This isn't a kind of indoctrination with set rules or preconceptions. Every relationship is different, unique and special. If you are a sub looking for a master/dom/daddy/boy or girl friend, whatever your definition is... it is unique and you cannot apply the same rule to it that you may have to a previous relationship.

To do so cheapens the whole thing. Unless you enter a formal service with pre-set rules and doctrine (which I think is bullshit personally but others may not) then take each situation, judge it on it's own merits and throw away any preconceived notions. You only set yourself up for failure if you are not flexible as both a dom and sub.

One must ebb and flow like the tides, you both grow every day and have to take all things into consideration.

BDSM is just a part of your personality, probably a small part that has blown up because it needs a bit of attention and acceptance. Don't get too caught up in it. Smell the flowers, enjoy the sunsets, hold hands and make love. We are all possibly mostly vanilla but with an acceptance that we aren't quite like the majority of the people around us.

Good luck.

Wow. Just... wow. I am in awe of you Betticus. Eloquent to the extreme. Bravo.