A question for those who have children

[Crazy_Jezabel]

I don't have children and I don't know when I'll be ready to have children, but when I do I I would like to think that I won't be one of those parents who wind up making nudity to be a sin.

My question for the parents on this board is that did you allow your children to see nudity? I mean did you try to hid Playboy or Playgirl from them? Did you not allow them to watch movies because there was nudity in it or sex scenes?

I was told a GOOD parent protects their children from seeing nudity. Protecting them from nudity??? Why? I wasn't aware nudity can make you sick, harm you, or kill you. Unprotected sex with the wrong person can harm you or kill you, but nudity is a different story.

I remember going to the gay pride parade last year here in Holland. There were topless women and men/women without any undwear under their short skirts. There are plenty of people who take their kids to that parade. So I guess according to the average American these parents are BAD parents because not only do they allow their kids to see that someone can be attraced to the same sex, but they allow them to see boobs and butts. Oh my God! I guess they shall all burn in hell for it even though they have butts and boobs of their own.

I am so thankful my mom was not the typical American. If I saw nudity she didn't get all bent out of shape. When I asked her what sex was, she told me on a level that I would understand (I guess I was about 6 or 7 at the time), when I asked what a penis was she told me. When I was 14 and first wound up asking her boyfriend what a blow job was and got handed the phone she told me what a blow job was. She also taught me that when I'm old enough to have sex and if I choose to have sex without getting married first that I should ALWAYS use a condom. I happeend to have old fashioned beliefs on sex, so I never did have intcourse until I got married and I only had oral sex with one guy that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and one other guy.

But I guess according to most Americans my mother was a BAD mother because she didn't protect me from nudity.

Also, I've been watching birth stories. The British one and not the American one. Some women choose to give birth in a bathtub or a pool with no clothes on. Sometime their have an older kid in the room with them (A kid of 2, 3, or 4-years-old) and us people who are watching at home see almost everything. A baby's vagina or penis is also shown sometimes. Does that make these parents BAD parents?

I guess this falls under the same theme as my "What's the bid deal about boobs" thread.

I'm not a mother yet, but I don't like bing told that you are a BAD parent because you allow your child to see nudity. It's not like they are watching you have sex.

 

[RawHumor]

Also, I've been watching birth stories. The British one and not the American one. Some women choose to have sex in a bathtub or a pool with no clothes on. Sometime their have an older kid in the room with them (A kid of 2, 3, or 4-years-old) and us people who are watching at home see almost everything. A baby's vagina or penis is also shown sometimes. Does that make these parents BAD parents?

I guess this falls under the same theme as my "What's the bid deal about boobs" thread.

I'm not a mother yet, but I don't like bing told that you are a BAD parent because you allow your child to see nudity. It's not like they are watching you have sex.

Did you have a typo the first bolded statement? Otherwise, you seem to be contradicting yourself.

 

[Shoefetishguy]

I dont think she means allowing a kid to watch the parents have sex in the bathtub.

my wife makes typos sometime, LoL

 

[RawHumor]

I dont think she means allowing a kid to watch the parents have sex in the bathtub.

my wife makes typos sometime, LoL

Crazy Jez is your wife?

 

[Crazy_Jezabel]

Did you have a typo the first bolded statement? Otherwise, you seem to be contradicting yourself.

Yes, I made a typo. the first line is suppose to be they let their child watch them give birth.

Ya, feel stupid.

I'll go edit it now.

 

[kittykateater]

I don't have children and I don't know when I'll be ready to have children, but when I do I I would like to think that I won't be one of those parents who wind up making nudity to be a sin.

My question for the parents on this board is that did you allow your children to see nudity? I mean did you try to hid Playboy or Playgirl from them? Did you not allow them to watch movies because there was nudity in it or sex scenes?

I was told a GOOD parent protects their children from seeing nudity. Protecting them from nudity??? Why? I wasn't aware nudity can make you sick, harm you, or kill you. Unprotected sex with the wrong person can harm you or kill you, but nudity is a different story.

I remember going to the gay pride parade last year here in Holland. There were topless women and men/women without any undwear under their short skirts. There are plenty of people who take their kids to that parade. So I guess according to the average American these parents are BAD parents because not only do they allow their kids to see that someone can be attraced to the same sex, but they allow them to see boobs and butts. Oh my God! I guess they shall all burn in hell for it even though they have butts and boobs of their own.

I am so thankful my mom was not the typical American. If I saw nudity she didn't get all bent out of shape. When I asked her what sex was, she told me on a level that I would understand (I guess I was about 6 or 7 at the time), when I asked what a penis was she told me. When I was 14 and first wound up asking her boyfriend what a blow job was and got handed the phone she told me what a blow job was. She also taught me that when I'm old enough to have sex and if I choose to have sex without getting married first that I should ALWAYS use a condom. I happeend to have old fashioned beliefs on sex, so I never did have intcourse until I got married and I only had oral sex with one guy that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with and one other guy.

But I guess according to most Americans my mother was a BAD mother because she didn't protect me from nudity.

Also, I've been watching birth stories. The British one and not the American one. Some women choose to give birth in a bathtub or a pool with no clothes on. Sometime their have an older kid in the room with them (A kid of 2, 3, or 4-years-old) and us people who are watching at home see almost everything. A baby's vagina or penis is also shown sometimes. Does that make these parents BAD parents?

I guess this falls under the same theme as my "What's the bid deal about boobs" thread.

I'm not a mother yet, but I don't like bing told that you are a BAD parent because you allow your child to see nudity. It's not like they are watching you have sex.

Because American society is so warped about sex and nudity, my son was uncomfortable when I tried to talk to him. So I sort of accidentally on purpose would leave some of my Playboy and Penthouse magazines where I knew my son would find them. I would also get some X videos that showed natural expressions of love and desire...not the tyoical dreck of MOSt porn flms....those good ones that show real and honest love and desires aren't easy to find...I'd keep these in a drawer where I knew his curiosity would snoop them out. It's sad that society had already poisoned his mind so much that I had to sneak sexual information to him that way!

My wife and I have a favorite X-rated sex scene where an actor is going down on a porn star who was his wfe in REAL life, she's built very smilar to my M (short, dark complexion, busty) and there is a great deal of love evidenced in the way he used his tongue and the powerful reaction she so explicitly shows on camera--you actually SEE her flow onto his tongue. Our son didn't want to watch with us, but I'd sometimes notice the tape missing and find it in his room, and I felt goodd hat he ws learning how to be an attentive lover and care about HER desires and her pleasures, not just his own.

One time, he was squeamish about showing me a rash on his penis (NOT from anything sexual), I told him I have a penis too, so seeing his was not a big deal, I fiinally prsuaded him, I took him to a doctor to get it treated and I explained some things to him about his body and his sexuality, his responsibilities to himself and to the women he might choose to date and be sexual with, he didn't want to listen of course, but from his later behavior as an adult I do think SOME of it sank in. The rash turned out to be very minor and quickly went away with treatment. Now in his 20s, he's had 3 or 4 women sex partners, we've met thme and he is always respectful of them and heir feelings and their needs, so I think and I hope we raised him well even though his own nudity STILL makes him uncomfortable.

M tried to set the tone that yes women can and do enjoy nudity and sexuality as much as men do. I remember one day our son saw me shirtless with my wife, he told me to put a shirt on because "mommy does NOT want to see you nude," M smiled and told him "Oh yes she does! Mommy very much LIKES seeing daddy naked!" and I think he was surprised but he started to realize women have sexual needs, urges, and instincts, too. M is very open and playful in her sexuality and we tried to nstill some of that in our son but I think societal repressions largely won out wth him.

Our daughter was more open and less repressed about her sexuality from the start--probably because female nudity is more common, more accepted, and more encouarged than with males (it was hard for me to pose nude here at first). She was more comfortable about being openly naked, and about seeing nudity, she would kiss not only boys but other girls, I remember her at an age younger than you're allowed to say here on Lit, introducing a school girlfriend to me as her "best friend and lover" and how they're both bisexual. Now in her 20s she lives with a man who obviously loves her very much, and she loves him, they will be married this fall.

Growing up, both of our kids got to know one of the most loving and caring couples we've ever known, they are lesbians and have been together and devoted exclusively to each other for well over 30 years now, they also have friends who are gay male couples, although M and I aren't as close to them as we are to this lesbian couple. None of them were naked around our kisds but they did kiss and hold hands and look at each other lovingly and adoringly, so our kids didn't grow up squeamish about that, although again our son was much less comfortable about it than our daughter was.

I was never judgmental with either of our kids, they approached sex and nudity in a very different style and that was OK, they need to be who they are, but I do wish other societal influences hadn't repressed our son so much.

I dont care what people think of our parenting style, I really don't. Both our kids are intelligent, successful, and happy, and we instilled in them the ability to be loving and caring humans in EVERY way including sexually, and the ability to question everythibg and to think for themselves, unencumbered by religious and political fairy-tales such as "anyone with a different skin color, religion, or ethnic background is inferior, and is to be hated and feared" or "Jesus died for your sins" (so you're not responsible for your own behavior, you've already been redeemed for it) and "There's no such thing as global warming...(just buy and burn more gasoline, and send your sons to raq to be killed so we can make MORE oil profits)!" and my favorite that too many Americans seem to believe, "Politicians and corprorate executives have your best inteersts at heart." The idea that nudity and sexuality are dirty and disgusting are another popular Anerican fairy tale we tried to keep from our kids, with more success with our daughter than our son.

 

[knickerless]

Parental Nudity is OK

My parents never had any hang-ups about their bodies. They weren't particularly attractive and in my earliest memories they were approaching middle-age. This was in the late 1950's. I adopted the same attitude with my two kids (both girls) though I have to say that in these 'enlightened' times, it actually seems more difficult for a parent (especially male like me) to show nudity to youngsters, including their children. I think in the UK at least we have become more prudish.