A Question for the Women

[PacificBlue]

When did you feel comfortable with your own sexuality?

Do you struggle at all with the "sex shouldn't happen outside of marriage" campaign?

When did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin when your lover touched you?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and opinions...

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I knew I was a sexual being at the age of 15, when my first serious boyfriend and I were exploring. However, we were both VERY Catholic, so not much went on. A few years later, when I was dating my ex-fiance, he and I began to explore more. I lost my virginity non-consentually, to my ex, and hated myself for it, my Catholic upbringing whispering to me horrible things from the back of my head. I think it was finally, after the second horrible experience with a different guy, when I hooked up with and became friends and lovers with two wonderful women, that I began to accept who and what I truly am: a sexual, bisexual woman. It was a lot easier for me to accept my bisexuality than my sexuality, which I don't think I understand. Not until my current SO, have I truly felt comfortable, without guilt hanging over my head, about sex. It is now that I realize what I love, what I believe, etc. It took my re-evaluation of my religious beliefs, some trauma, and some growing up to fully realize that it really is 'to each his/her own'. And now I know what is right for me.

 

[red_rose]

Honestly? It was after the first time I had sex while rip-roarin' drunk. I never knew sex could be so wonderful. I orgasmed over and over again... I just let go - touched what I wanted, let him touch what he wanted. It was amazing.

For about a year or so, I felt like I had to be drunk to have that kind of experience...and then one day I tried doing it without drinking. It helped that I was also with a man that I was crazy about.

I still have my moments where I flinch if a guy touches my stomach... but then I remember how much better it feels when I relax.

 

[PacificBlue]

Thank you for your responses. Those are helpful.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Hmm..I actually like this thread...in response...I think feeling sexual and sensual comes from within...not from being with someone else.

 

[morninggirl5]

Thought provoking questions and it's late here, but i'll try to answer.


I think i've always felt comfortable with my sexuality. Probably suprising given my very conservative upbringing, but a couple of conversations with my Aunt (my Uncle listened) gave me "permission" to be me.

I've always felt comfortable in my own skin when touched by a lover. Maybe because i'm so picky and the number has been small, but i've never had feelings of apprehension, embarrassment, or self-consciousness.

 

[PacificBlue]

Hmm..I actually like this thread...in response...I think feeling sexual and sensual comes from within...not from being with someone else.

True. I agree with that.

Added to it... Doesn't much of what we feel about ourselves come from outside influences?

 

[Calamity Jane]

When did you feel comfortable with your own sexuality?

The comfort level isn't a constant thing, but I think I was comfortable with the idea that I am a sexual being when I was around 17.

Do you struggle at all with the "sex shouldn't happen outside of marriage" campaign?

Nope, never have. HOWEVER... should I end up single again, I think I will be more discriminatory in choosing my lovers. Seems the older I get the more I value brain AND cock.

When did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin when your lover touched you?

It varies with the lover. Sometimes, it was the first time they touched me. I knew it was going to be right from that moment on, and I could completely relax. Sometimes, I'd lie awake at night, knowing we were going to have sex on an evening that was fast approaching and I'd agonize over the shape and feel of my body. With those guys, I never did quite relax.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and opinions...

 

[Guest]

I became sexually active at a young age...due to pressure from the boyfriend...and my friends who were no longer virgins. Afterwards...the said boyfriend dumped me. It took me a while to get over that and even longer to get into sex.

I had my first orgasm when I was 18....after that...I slowly relaxed... but I didn't get completely comfortable with sex until I was 21.

I never had a problem with sex outside of marriage. I don't think that women should have to settle for sex with just one man...that being the one they marry. How else are they supposed to know if the man is any good if they don't have someone to compare them with? LOL

 

[Aphrodisiac]

When did you feel comfortable with your own sexuality? I have always embraced my sexuality, but it was barely like 2 yrs ago that I really began to explore & not be so shy & uncomfortable. While I am still somewhat shy , I now have "control " of my sexuality & I am more willing to try and learn more when it comes to exploring & experimenting.

Do you struggle at all with the "sex shouldn't happen outside of marriage" campaign? Through out my early teen yrs till maybe my early 20 's - I believed that I should wait till I was married to have sex. I held on to this view for a long time but then I began to re evaluate my stance on my religion and premarital sex. I came to my own conclusion & I knew that it was not wrong or " evil " if I were to engage in sex before marriage. These were my beliefs... and how can it be wrong when there is so much love. These were my own beliefs concerning the whole " sex & marriage " thing.

When did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin when your lover touched you?I feel comfortable when my lover touches me .. but I am still shy. I don't really know how to explain my shyness. I am still experiencing new feelings ...

 

[PacificBlue]

~Beauty of a Woman~

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman with passing years - only grows.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

True. I agree with that.

Added to it... Doesn't much of what we feel about ourselves come from outside influences?

Yes, totally. But what you get from the outside..also comes from what you give off.

I have more friends then not, tell me that I am the most sensual/sexual person they know. And yet... not everyone sees that.

It's not about having sex with someone, at least I don't think so. I think it is how I feel inside. How I see myself.

I've been told at times I am the woman with the little girl walk. That i have a look on my face the cat with the canary would be jealous of.

It's all about inside babe.

You know you've got it. Let it out. Don't be afraid. Fuck those that don't see it.

 

[PacificBlue]

Thank you Morgaine

 

[Ladyhawke]

It took me until I was 31 years old to finally be comfortable with my sexuality. I hated sex for many years because I associated it with major pain. I had a physical abnormality that needed surgical correction before I could even attempt to have sex. I did not know anything was wrong until I attempted to have sex the first time when I was 18. Even after the surgery it was very painful for a long time and as a result my first lover (eventually husband) and I never had very good sex life, I think because it got off to such a bad start.

Since we have divorced I have had very good sexual experiences with the men I have been with. I don't have that "baggage" with them so I'm able to relax and enjoy it much more than I ever have before.

 

[Folded Pixie]

[/B][/QUOTEWhen did you feel comfortable with your own sexuality? [/B][/QUOTE]

I have been sexually active for about 5 years now, and I can honestly say that I was not comfortable with a partner until 5 months ago. Now, if you meant sexuality as in the whole gay/straight issue.....that I'm still not sure of, but I'm only 21.

[/B][/QUOTEDo you struggle at all with the "sex shouldn't happen outside of marriage" campaign? [/B][/QUOTE]

Didn't even flinch.

[/B][/QUOTEWhen did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin when your lover touched you? [/B][/QUOTE]

5 months ago I started dating my current boyfriend, and we've been very sexually oriented from day one. Unfortunately I still feel uncomfortable every now and then.

Comfort can only be basd on past experiences, and every now and then I am reminded of my past.

[/B][/QUOTEThank you in advance for your thoughts and opinions... [/B][/QUOTE]

^_^ You're welcome!

[/B][/QUOTE]

 

[Folded Pixie]

ACK!

I posted that terribly wrong!

*blushes and hopes no one notices*