A question for the ladies

[hrdnthick4u]

Why is it that when i post asking for a lady who wants to chat,I get no response? This site seems big enough that you would think there is a lady somewhere who wants to chat,but i just get no responses at all. Can someone tell me what i'm doing wrong? I'm not being volgur in anyway. Just asking. I hope for some suggestion please.
Thanks
Hrd

 

[Ms_Lilith]

1) You are repetitive.

2) it's 'vulgAr'.. look things up.


But seriously, I think you're posting in the wrong place. Maybe start a thread in the Personals board, and just say you're looking for a chat, and see what comes up.

It's worth a shot.

 

[SexyChele]

Are you talking about when you are in a chatroom, such as here at Lit? If so, the answer is very simple. When a woman is in a chatroom, she sees almost every man who enters say something to the effect of, "<age>/m/<location> Any ladies wanna chat?" Now, tell me. What about that is supposed to appeal to me? Why would I type in - YES! Me! ME! Chat with me! Especially if I look at your profile, and find zip, absolutely nothing about you? I know you are a male, your age is irrelevant, and why do I care where you live? And I have an understanding of what you mean by "chat" and it isn't to ask me how my day was.

Okay, now for some helpful advice.

Go into a room and just start talking. Watch the women who come into the chatroom. Are they friendly? Do they come in saying "hello?" Say "hello" back, ask them how they are, try to flirt a little with them, while in the room! Don't say "hello", and when she responds, immediately come back with, "wanna chat?" Hell no, I'm not going to! And, if a woman responds to a friendly "hello", don't IM her and ask her if she wants to chat, either. Stay in the room, flirt, talk, chat. See how she responds to you. Does she continue the conversation? Is she quick to answer your questions? (And please, don't ask questions such as tit size or if she had pics!) When you get a good feel for the situation, ask her in the room if you can PM her. Respect her wishes if she declines with a simple "Okay, but if you want to chat later, look me up."

You have to make yourself different. Women in chatrooms get hit on every few minutes. Step back, talk and get to know her and let her get to know you. Trust me, she'll be more receptive to chatting in private once she realizes that you are also interested in the fact that she has a brain and a life.

Good luck, and if this doesn't pertain to a chatroom type situation, well, then disregard!

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

SexyChele; once again you have shown your wisdom and wit in giving a reply. My hat off to you for such a profound and clever response!>>>applauding<<<
Hrd; listen up Dear, what she's saying is truth!

-kym- in total agreement

 

[peachykeen]

sometimes, I think we should just change the name of this board to "Ask Chele".

 

[MR.GGG]

AHHHMAAZING what ya learn in these rooms isn't it. Chele sez don't be pushy, get to know her a little and don't be crude.

And here most of us guys thought an introduction like, "I'm gonna fuck your ass so hard your ears'll bleed." was just so warm and friendly. What chick could resist that??

Go figure!!

 

[Blackbich]

AHHHMAAZING what ya learn in these rooms isn't it. Chele sez don't be pushy, get to know her a little and don't be crude.

And here most of us guys thought an introduction like, "I'm gonna fuck your ass so hard your ears'll bleed." was just so warm and friendly. What chick could resist that??

Go figure!!

ah ha ha ha ha...yeah, that's exactly what I'm always looking for!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Why is it that when i post asking for a lady who wants to chat,I get no response? This site seems big enough that you would think there is a lady somewhere who wants to chat,but i just get no responses at all. Can someone tell me what i'm doing wrong? I'm not being volgur in anyway. Just asking. I hope for some suggestion please.
Thanks
Hrd

Let's start with the name. It indicates that you are looking for sex. It also seems to indicate that you probably come on pretty strong. Back off, be funny or smart or empathic, and BE YOURSELF! A woman who will be interesting to talk to will likely approach YOU.

 

[sheath]

AHHHMAAZING what ya learn in these rooms isn't it. Chele sez don't be pushy, get to know her a little and don't be crude.

And here most of us guys thought an introduction like, "I'm gonna fuck your ass so hard your ears'll bleed." was just so warm and friendly. What chick could resist that??

Go figure!!

Ummm....."your ears'll bleed"?

That's a new one on me! LOL And it would be good to hear in the middle of a nice fast assfuck, but certainly NOT in a chatroom. I would laugh so hard I couldn't type!

I agree with Chele. Be NICE. Make yourself intriguing. Ask intelligent questions. And one thing I have learned: DO NOT ask for pics the first time you chat. Not a good idea. When someone asks me for pics within the first ten minutes of a conversation, then the conversation is over. If my thoughts and ideas aren't interesting enough, then why the HELL do you need a pic????

My two cents.

S.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Ummm....."your ears'll bleed"?

That's a new one on me! LOL And it would be good to hear in the middle of a nice fast assfuck, but certainly NOT in a chatroom. I would laugh so hard I couldn't type!

I agree with Chele. Be NICE. Make yourself intriguing. Ask intelligent questions. And one thing I have learned: DO NOT ask for pics the first time you chat. Not a good idea. When someone asks me for pics within the first ten minutes of a conversation, then the conversation is over. If my thoughts and ideas aren't interesting enough, then why the HELL do you need a pic????

My two cents.

S.

Well, ok...a pic can be good...maybe not after 10 minutes. Just never ask for naked pictures. You are allowed to say,"I think you are sweet, and I would love to put a face to the person"...

 

[RomanHans]

Well, ok...a pic can be good...maybe not after 10 minutes. Just never ask for naked pictures. You are allowed to say,"I think you are sweet, and I would love to put a face to the person"...

"I think you are sweet?" I totally agree with the approach of not coming on too strong, but damn--is this Lit or some syruppy Rogers & Hammerstein musical?

WARNING ATTEMPT TO HIJACK THREAD IMMINENT

Honestly, ladies and genitals, what would you think if someone on Lit PM'd you and said "I think you're sweet?"

Roman, the self-appointed bitter cynic.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

"I think you are sweet?" I totally agree with the approach of not coming on too strong, but damn--is this Lit or some syruppy Rogers & Hammerstein musical?

WARNING ATTEMPT TO HIJACK THREAD IMMINENT

Honestly, ladies and genitals, what would you think if someone on Lit PM'd you and said "I think you're sweet?"

Roman, the self-appointed bitter cynic.

Heh...its all about context, bub.I PM women all the time to tell them they're sweet. Nothing in it is a pick-up line, which allows it to work.

 

[ethereal~minx]

My sentiments exactly!!!!!!

...Go into a room and just start talking. Watch the women who come into the chatroom. Are they friendly? Do they come in saying "hello?" Say "hello" back, ask them how they are, try to flirt a little with them, while in the room! Don't say "hello", and when she responds, immediately come back with, "wanna chat?" Hell no, I'm not going to! And, if a woman responds to a friendly "hello", don't IM her and ask her if she wants to chat, either. Stay in the room, flirt, talk, chat. See how she responds to you. Does she continue the conversation? Is she quick to answer your questions? (And please, don't ask questions such as tit size or if she had pics!) When you get a good feel for the situation, ask her in the room if you can PM her. Respect her wishes if she declines with a simple "Okay, but if you want to chat later, look me up."

...

Ths should be a disclaimer that people must read before entering the chat rooms.... boy would this say alot of frustration~~

STRONGLY AGREE!!! w/ Chele.. this is the best advice!

 

[MercyMia]

Me too, me too, I agree with Chele's detailed and thought-out advice. When a guy approaches me in chat, I want to know that he's a regular old human bean first off, and then MAYBE, I'd be interested in chatting with him in the room, and then MAYBE later one on one.

My personal preference is that the guy's screen name or ID not refer to his genitalia, not even obliquely...cuz that tells me to him the most important thing is having a big DICK. Makes the interaction very impersonal and generic.

"I think you're sweet" might work with me...under the proper circumstances.



(But RH, you're a great cynic.)

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

"I think you're sweet" might work with me...under the proper circumstances.



(But RH, you're a great cynic.)

But I do think you're sweet! Heh heh...smart too. I like to send people a PM here on Lit, after I have interacted with them in a fun way(like we're doing here), and let them know I enjoyed it. It shows interest in them as a person, not as a potential sex partner. Friends first is the way to go, after all.

 

[MercyMia]

But I do think you're sweet! Heh heh...smart too. I like to send people a PM here on Lit, after I have interacted with them in a fun way(like we're doing here), and let them know I enjoyed it. It shows interest in them as a person, not as a potential sex partner. Friends first is the way to go, after all.

Friends first is best, because if it doesn't lead to sex, then you're still friends. From the Asian business standpoint, American partners seem a little too narrow in focus because they are so "let's get it on" without building a relationship first.

But dat's just my observations.

What does a woman say to a guy--surely not "I think you're so sweet?"

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Friends first is best, because if it doesn't lead to sex, then you're still friends. From the Asian business standpoint, American partners seem a little too narrow in focus because they are so "let's get it on" without building a relationship first.

But dat's just my observations.

What does a woman say to a guy--surely not "I think you're so sweet?"

Telling a man he is 'interesting' works...at least for me.

 

[MercyMia]

Telling a man he is 'interesting' works...at least for me.

That's fair--"interesting" is as potentially sweet as um "sweet."

Hmmm, I wonder where the thread starter went...

Johnny M, how *are* you?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

That's fair--"interesting" is as potentially sweet as um "sweet."

Hmmm, I wonder where the thread starter went...

Johnny M, how *are* you?

I am very good, thank you. I'm feeling rested, my day has been good, and I'm having a good conversation with a sweet lady...what could be better?

 

[MercyMia]

I am very good, thank you. I'm feeling rested, my day has been good, and I'm having a good conversation with a sweet lady...what could be better?

What could be better? Hmm, perhaps a running dialogue between the sweet lady and an interesting man about the most basic of topics.

Is this considered a hijack? I think our host has wandered off in search of friendship.

edited to add--I'm turning into a pumpkin. It's past 2 am.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

What could be better? Hmm, perhaps a running dialogue between the sweet lady and an interesting man about the most basic of topics.

Is this considered a hijack? I think our host has wandered off in search of friendship.

Hmmm...shall we take this into PM land? I would hate to hijack a thread after all...

 

[SexyChele]

Wow, thanks to all who agreed with me!

In response to RomanHans: In my profile here at Lit chat, I ask that people who want to PM me ask first. Of course that is often ignored and men PM anyway. If they say something that is in anyway sexual, I reply to them in the room. No, I don't mention names, but I'll do write something like, "You want me to do WHAT, PMer?!?!? Sorry, you need the freakster room, dude! There isn't a woman in here that will do THAT!" Normally, the first man out of the room was the PM person.

Now, every so often, a man will PM me and it goes something like this:

"I know you want me to ask first, but I just wanted to say that I've read some of your stories/saw your web site/saw you here before and I just wanted to say I think your stories are good/web site is great/you are very interesting."

Now, what is my response? I will PM him back - and I will be nice. Normally, it develops into a conversation. These are the guys that, when I go back, I look for them. I seek them out to talk to, to say hi, find out how they are. Why? They were polite. They were considerate. They acknowledged that I am a person. Is the above a "line"? I'm sure it is. But, hey, it works. It gets me talking to the guy in private, and from there he will stand a better chance than the men in the room trying to get my attention with, "wanna chat?" That's what I mean when I say be different, be unique. Every person has something different about them, find it, comment on it, and leave it to them to continue.

And my thanks to Sheath! She picked up on something I had forgotten. Don't ask for a picture. I mean, this is a chatroom! Do you really care what the person looks like that you will be chatting with for the next 1/2 hour? And no, I really have no desire to receive another picture of some headless cock, oozing cum. I mean, is that supposed to do something for me? Just skip the pics, and go with the words.

 

[sheath]

Heh...its all about context, bub.I PM women all the time to tell them they're sweet. Nothing in it is a pick-up line, which allows it to work.

Ah...damn...fall for it EVERY time.

S.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Ah...damn...fall for it EVERY time.

S.

Sucker!

 

[RomanHans]

Wow, thanks to all who agreed with me!

<edit>

And my thanks to Sheath! She picked up on something I had forgotten. Don't ask for a picture. I mean, this is a chatroom! Do you really care what the person looks like that you will be chatting with for the next 1/2 hour? And no, I really have no desire to receive another picture of some headless cock, oozing cum. I mean, is that supposed to do something for me? Just skip the pics, and go with the words.

A headless cock? Yegawds, that sounds absolutely excruciatingly painful and disgusting!

Oh, you mean that the picture doesn't include the GUY's head...my bad!

Roman