A question for the Doms.

[Retrieval]

First of all I'll put my hand up and admit that I don’t know much about the BDSM scene. I think I know a bit about Dom’s, Subs and switches but only from what I've read on this forum.

I know you can dominate a sub and that appeals to me to some extent, but the thought of dominating a woman that’s usually the one doing the dominating appeals to me quite a lot.
I'm talking about a woman that not only thinks she's above being dominated by a man but actually believes that men are supposed to be subservient to her and dominates them. (I believe these are called Dommes but I could be wrong).

Although this question is aimed mainly at Dom’s I would like input from anybody out there male, female, sub or even if your not into the whole BDSM thing.

My question is: As a Dom do you ever fantasize about dominating a Domme?



P.s I might have these labels mixed up, if so then please let me know so that I can edit my post.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, could this be another male wanting to show Dommes the superiority of their maleness?!! Perhaps what you are looking for is a switch who is female and happy to oblige. I am interested in where you think the desire for this comes from for you though.

Catalina

 

[Retrieval]

LOL, could this be another male wanting to show Dommes the superiority of their maleness?!! Perhaps what you are looking for is a switch who is female and happy to oblige. I am interested in where you think the desire for this comes from for you though.

Catalina

In your eye's why should this be any different then dominating a sub?
Do Dom's with a female sub want to show the superiority of their maleness?

As for where it comes from, I'm not sure, dominating seems to be about power, so theoretically wouldn't a Dom get more of a kick out of dominating a Domme than a sub whose ready and willing to be dominated?

 

[O'Mac]

What about a Dom dominating a Dom, or a Domme dominating a Dom?

I think the exchange of power and role of authority can be played to it's fullest by both genders. Have I ever fantasized about dominating a Domme? Sure do. I fanaisize about dominating all sorts of men and women be they submissive or dominate as well. Of course, I understand that it likely wouldn't be an easy task if they themselves are sexually dominant, but that's a challenge I would be willing to accept.

 

[JMohegan]

My question is: As a Dom do you ever fantasize about dominating a Domme?

No.

When I think about Dommes, I think about real human beings whom I actually know. I have enormous respect for some of these women; for others, not so much.

I have no interest in dominating someone for whom I have little respect. Therefore, that type of woman does not appear in my fantasies.

The type of Domme for whom I have respect is someone whom I regard as a peer. I recognize characteristics and qualities in her that are similar to my own. Because of this, we do not match up well even in fantasy.

Pick the analogy that works for you here. We would be two yins without a yang, or two gloves without a hand, or a penny with two heads and no tail. The concept doesn't appeal, and it doesn't even make sense from my point of view.

 

[Retrieval]

What about a Dom dominating a Dom, or a Domme dominating a Dom?

I think the exchange of power and role of authority can be played to it's fullest by both genders. Have I ever fantasized about dominating a Domme? Sure do. I fantisize about dominating all sorts of men and women be they submissive or dominate as well. Of course, I understand that it likely wouldn't be an easy task if they themselves are sexually dominant, but that's a challenge I would be willing to accept.

Exactly! and therein lays the thrill. From my point of view a sub is willing to be dominated so where’s the challenge? but a Domme, to finally get her to submit and do what you want now that would be hot!

Seeming as your involved in the lifestyle, maybe you can tell me what Catalina finds so funny about this.

 

[Retrieval]

No.

When I think about Dommes, I think about real human beings whom I actually know. I have enormous respect for some of these women; for others, not so much.

I have no interest in dominating someone for whom I have little respect. Therefore, that type of woman does not appear in my fantasies.

The type of Domme for whom I have respect is someone whom I regard as a peer. I recognize characteristics and qualities in her that are similar to my own. Because of this, we do not match up well even in fantasy.

Pick the analogy that works for you here. We would be two yins without a yang, or two gloves without a hand, or a penny with two heads and no tail. The concept doesn't appeal, and it doesn't even make sense from my point of view.

So are you a Dom, Sub what?

 

[JMohegan]

So are you a Dom, Sub what?

A dominant heterosexual male.

 

[Retrieval]

A dominant heterosexual male.

Hmmm. So as a dominant hetero male can you sum up for me in one sentence what it is about dominating women that turns you on?

 

[JMohegan]

but a Domme, to finally get her to submit and do what you want now that would be hot!

This seems directly comparable to the fantasy some men have regarding lesbians.

I'm not going to criticize anyone's fantasies, but in real life attempting to do this would be disrespectful and insulting to many women I know.

 

[JMohegan]

Hmmm. So as a dominant hetero male can you sum up for me in one sentence what it is about dominating women that turns you on?

Nope.

 

[cati]

Exactly! and therein lays the thrill. From my point of view a sub is willing to be dominated so where’s the challenge? but a Domme, to finally get her to submit and do what you want now that would be hot!

If you've tried it..it's not so hot, believe me.
In my opinion there is always a challenge in getting a sub or "the" sub of your choice to fully submit to you...as we don't submit to just anyone, but a Dom who is or could be our equal...our yang to our yin, just as JMohegan said in his post.

 

[O'Mac]

[/B]


Exactly! and therein lays the thrill. From my point of view a sub is willing to be dominated so where’s the challenge? but a Domme, to finally get her to submit and do what you want now that would be hot!

Seeming as your involved in the lifestyle, maybe you can tell me what Catalina finds so funny about this.

Well I think you may have worded it to sound more like a gender-based concept. I don't happen to believe any one gender is more or less dominant than the other. I look at it all more as an individual issue.

 

[Retrieval]

This seems directly comparable to the fantasy some men have regarding lesbians.

Yes I'd agree with that, I guess a lot of people want what we can't have.

 

[Retrieval]

...as we don't submit to just anyone, but a Dom who is or could be our equal...our yang to our yin, just as JMohegan said in his post.

I see, so how did you decide who to submit to?

 

[O'Mac]

This seems directly comparable to the fantasy some men have regarding lesbians.

I'm not going to criticize anyone's fantasies, but in real life attempting to do this would be disrespectful and insulting to many women I know.

So you don't know of any Dommes that have been dominated themselves? I know of a couple that has the man as the sub and the woman in charge. She herself sometimes has a man dominating her as well and I don't think that's all that strange.

 

[Retrieval]

Well I think you may have worded it to sound more like a gender-based concept. I don't happen to believe any one gender is more or less dominant than the other. I look at it all more as an individual issue.

O.K. I refered to a Domme because I'm a straight male. I have no sexual fantasies concerning men.

 

[Retrieval]

So you don't know of any Dommes that have been dominated themselves? I know of a couple that has the man as the sub and the woman in charge. She herself sometimes has a man dominating her as well and I don't think that's all that strange.

Wouldn't that make them switches?

 

[O'Mac]

Wouldn't that make them switches?

I don't think she considers herself a switch, no. Of course, that's all symantics anyways. Hmmm, then again, I see what you are saying.

I guess really we are talking about a rape fantasy. I mean if a Domme refuses to be dominated because she is a sexual dominant herself, then really the only way to actually dominate her is through non-consensual means. Wouldn't that in itself be chalked up as a rape fantasy?

Just need some clarification here.

 

[CutieMouse]

I see, so how did you decide who to submit to?

Firstly- I don't men to be rude, but all the creepy-ass clown stuff makes it quite difficult to read your posts.

As to your question of how people choose who to submit to... how does anyone choose a relationship/fling/friend-with-benifits? I don't believe finding a kink based relationship (temporary or permanent) is all that much different from finding a "vanilla" based relationship- the pool to choose from just happens to be a little more difficult to find, sometimes.

 

[Betticus]

Firstly- I don't men to be rude, but all the creepy-ass clown stuff makes it quite difficult to read your posts.

As to your question of how people choose who to submit to... how does anyone choose a relationship/fling/friend-with-benifits? I don't believe finding a kink based relationship (temporary or permanent) is all that much different from finding a "vanilla" based relationship- the pool to choose from just happens to be a little more difficult to find, sometimes.

Here's a totally non creepy clown that you can look at. I hope you feel better lil mousiepants!

http://www.ouchytheclown.com/standing.jpg

 

[CutieMouse]

Betticus, that does NOT count as a non-creepy-ass clown.

*shudder*

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Hmmmn interesting I have a Domme friend in a very serious, long term and loving relationship with another Dominant. They are both fully committed to each other. Both have very established , strong 'Dominant persona'. Its often made me wonder but never to the extent that I have crossed the zones of polite respect to ask either how that 'works'. I should really. If she doesn't care to share she simply won't. I also doubt she would be angry with me however it does seem kind of rude from my perspective to ask something so personal just because I am curious.

Perhaps I will mention reading this thread..........

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Where is Miss Shy she will love this.............

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m14/rebecca222_2006/pornclowntoilet.jpg

 

[catalina_francisco]

This seems directly comparable to the fantasy some men have regarding lesbians.

I'm not going to criticize anyone's fantasies, but in real life attempting to do this would be disrespectful and insulting to many women I know.

Seems this and your previous post just about say it for me. Of course, as I also said, perhaps it is a matter of wanting a switch more so than a full on 100% Domme....huge difference in the situation if all are in agreement. From what I have seen and heard from Doms and Dommes alike, it is about feeling secure in their own role and skin which makes it a no interest area to feel a need to make another Dom/me subservient....those that do not feel totally secure or confident (and are not switches themselves), it can sometimes come out in a need to overpower someone they see as equal to or better than themselves to try and establish that security. I don't feel it ever could though as that feeling and belief has to come from within, not comparing yourself to someone else.

Catalina