A question for hetero female dominants

[Etoile]

Okay, this is going to seem like kind of an odd one coming from me, but I have to ask.

How do you suck your sub's cock? If you want to give him head because you enjoy it, how do you do that while keeping his place as a submissive? My only exposure to cocksucking has been from a submissive perspective, mostly on my knees and so forth. But in what positions can you suck cock while retaining your dominance?

This isn't something I expect to ever put to use, but it is something I am insanely curious about. The logistics, the dynamics, the emotion involved...how does it work?!

Thanks in advance for your comments.

 

[NemoAlia]

In my switch moments, I've come upon this by pleasant accident:

A "sitting on his face" 69 scenario that happens to line me up with his cock. I won't give it constant attention in an orgasm-inducing sort of way... just teasing. And punishment if he comes.

 

[angela146]

If you're into bondage, you can tie him up and do it. Blindfolding would add to the submissive feel.

There's also the massage table or doctor's examining table.

Having him on his back with his feet tied in the stirups and wrists secured, that would be about as submissive as it gets. Make sure he slides down all the way to the end of the table.

Then, sit on your rolling stool and enjoy lunch. Adjust the height for comfort.

 

[BlueSugar]

maybe in a super caring way, as a reward for being a good boy, and the repetition of her allowing him this pleasure, she is giving it to him as an award...

or maybe controlled in the way that he cannot cum, and shes doing her best to make him lose it?
then punnishment and award as seen fit?

i have no idea, just two of the things i've thought about when that comes to my mind.

 

[lark sparrow]

Nothing against the question or answers, its a good one, but it does bring a good double standard to light - yes?

I have seen questions relating to mainly hetero female submissives not feeling comfortable receiving oral sex with their mainly hetero male Dominants, but I have yet to see an overwhelming Dominant male perspective wherein they were uncomfortable giving oral sex to a submissive woman because it might diminish their dominance.

And yet... it seems a paradox or confusing in how to remain Dominant, in many minds, should a female Dominant give a male submissive oral.

Seems a bit of vanilla shading... or not?

 

[angela146]

... should a female Dominant give a male submissive oral.

If done correctly, it can be a horrific torture to the man. Licking the top side of the glans to the point where it is "too much" (which I presume is similar to licking a clitoris too directly).

Another angle is having him secured, blindfolded etc. and my enjoying the pleasure of using his body as a toy. It doesn't matter what he thinks: this is for me.

Yet another angle: with him secured, his penis is vulnerable. The "little guy" doesn't have his big brother to protect him. He's at my mercy and seems quite scared.

 

[lark sparrow]

I don't think that really answers the question within the question presented, as you quoted my text, unless we have to make sure big sister can't protect little sister. I agree that it is entirely possible should the Dominant male or female feel comfortable and power and enjoyment in the act. I simply wonder why it is wondered how it would happen and what extra special precautions would have to take place in a female Dominant towards a male submissive, rather than a male Dominant towards a female submissive.

 

[lark sparrow]

In other words, does it take something different to keep a submissive male/cock dominated by a female Dominant than it does a submissive female/pussy by a male Dominant?

In turn, how do same-sex Dominants and submissives feel about oral sex both ways? Sorry if this way off the heterosexual path.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I would think the perfect way would be to play on the aspect of it normally being considered a submissive act to suck cock....comment on how mistaken he is if he thinks it is in any way submissive in this particular instant..emphasise the control the sucker has over the suckee in so many delicious ways, teeth, tantalising, teasing, crushing balls while tempting with tongue, giving or withholding orgasm as desired, and most of all that if and when he cums, it is as she wishes and demands, she is taking something from him and devouring it so he will always in a submissive way be in her body, she is taking from him what she wants, not giving what he desires, and she is in control at all times.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

In other words, does it take something different to keep a submissive male/cock dominated by a female Dominant than it does a submissive female/pussy by a male Dominant?

In turn, how do same-sex Dominants and submissives feel about oral sex both ways? Sorry if this way off the heterosexual path.

Im kinda agreeing with you on this, why is it submissive to suck cock and not submissive to lick puss? Why is a Dominants domination always in question when they wanna do that? Its very strange to me and i know off topic but can anyone help me understand this?

 

[NemoAlia]

...but I have yet to see an overwhelming Dominant male perspective wherein they were uncomfortable giving oral sex to a submissive woman because it might diminish their dominance.

No, and I think that's because hetero male Doms use oral sex on their subs as a way of proving that they can bring pleasure to those lovely ladies even in stereotypically unpleasurable situations like bondage or whatever. (Most guys - subs or otherwise - don't require proof of this. Doing it to them would be sort of redundant.)

 

[Four_Inch_Heels]

I suck cock because I love to suck cock. I'm not concerned with him, I do it because I enjoy it.

I maintain my dominance by bringing him to the edge over and over again, and ultimately, it's MY decision if he spurts, or not.

 

[NCShin]

As i said in the other thread i don't view this as submissive in any way.

However, if you're concerned about how it "looks" as in kneeling in front of him or something to that effect.

How about him standing on something so the domme doesn't have to kneel down.

Or maybe him kneeling on something even higher.

69 would likely be easiest and most common i'd think. The domme could easily control him in various ways.

 

[angela146]

I don't think that really answers the question within the question presented, as you quoted my text, unless we have to make sure big sister can't protect little sister. I agree that it is entirely possible should the Dominant male or female feel comfortable and power and enjoyment in the act. I simply wonder why it is wondered how it would happen and what extra special precautions would have to take place in a female Dominant towards a male submissive, rather than a male Dominant towards a female submissive.

Hmmm...

Sucking a penis usually involves taking it inside yourself. There is a feeling of surrendering a personal space boundary.

Licking a clit is external to the licker. It is more of an invasion of personal space to the lickee.

Unless you take the penis down your throat, you are kept at a distance from the man. He has a zone of protection. Taking it down your throat is very submissive feeling in that you have let him very deeply inside you.

A penis in the mouth feels like a gag. You can't talk with a penis in your mouth and you have to back off several inches (the length you currently have in your mouth) to be able to talk.

With a clit, you can talk if you back up a half inch.

Also, sucking on a penis has a little bit of a childish feeling to it, like sucking a thumb or a lollypop.

I know this is really flimsy but it's the best I can do.

 

[Etoile]

Actually, angela146, that sounds like a really reasonable explanation. It sure makes sense to me. Cocksucking is definitely an invasion of the sucker's personal space - especially something like their face, which is integral to who they are even more than their genitals. I'd definitely agree that your suggestion is plausible.

 

[trodas]

There is just one little point, witch i try explain with my limited english grammar (if fact, it horrible...).
For thousads of years, womans are pushed to position that they did not like any sexual activity at all, and all the sex is a man thing. It's not only mans fault (mens accepted their sexuality and proudly admiting it - at least most time), also so many womans i know having hard time admint they enjoy sex and like to present theirself as only "poor innocent victims" of the horny naughty mans. Their benefits from standing into this position are obvious and IMHO is not necessary/on topic to elaborate them deeper.

What is important - we all know that this is of course just bullshit.

However, from this position is cocksucking something like surrending to man cock for only his pleaseru
(woman can't enjoy, or even possibly want, sex, right?)

And therefore it looks less dominant, when she do it. The key is to change the way we (womans including) looking at it - its just using the male sub for own enjoyment - and doing it on blindfolded, gaged and secured man sub should not make the female dom look less dominant at all, especially is sub is tied in any uncomfortable way and not allowed to cum or/and treated into more painfull way as angela146 suggested

And yes, i agree with the difference between cocksucking as taking sometimg IN - in contrast of using tongue to teasing clit just under spreaded lips

But i just think that from my point of view (even in not female dom ) are the reason why i can see a slightly degrading for fem dom to do it buried somewhere into the wrong aperance of how woman getting into sex.

 

[lark sparrow]

Hmmm...



*Its mainly perspective. I'll put some differing perspectives below yours simply to demonstrate.

Sucking a penis usually involves taking it inside yourself. There is a feeling of surrendering a personal space boundary.

*When you eat something are you not controlling the food by ingesting it? When you take something in your hand, is the object in control, or is it the hand?

*When the dentist sticks fingers and tools into a mouth, will it be more intrusive for a mouth attached to a male with a penis or a mouth attached to a female with a vagina?

Licking a clit is external to the licker. It is more of an invasion of personal space to the lickee.

*Having someone’s crotch in (or on) your face is not an invasion of personal space?

Unless you take the penis down your throat, you are kept at a distance from the man. He has a zone of protection. Taking it down your throat is very submissive feeling in that you have let him very deeply inside you.

*Perhaps the woman sucking has the zone of protection, keeping the man at a distance. Which is more submissive – gagging or smothering?

A penis in the mouth feels like a gag. You can't talk with a penis in your mouth and you have to back off several inches (the length you currently have in your mouth) to be able to talk.

With a clit, you can talk if you back up a half inch.

*Half inch or a few inches, you are still backing up to talk. Lol why are you backing up to talk anyhow? You can’t talk with a penis in your mouth only if you are worried about teething... I’m betting that teeth are sharper and jaws are stronger than “aroused manly flesh”.

Also, sucking on a penis has a little bit of a childish feeling to it, like sucking a thumb or a lollypop.

*More so than say sucking a breast/nipple like a feeding child, or a female sex similar to that from which you came as an infant could be?

I know this is really flimsy but it's the best I can do.

*lol no worries. Again, much of it is perspective, and personal experience and opinion will vary. Perhaps one could see how loaded with assumptions the question might be considered (i.e. male is naturally dominant by matter of his penis), which may not apply to the reality of the Dominant female and submissive male relationship.

 

[angela146]

Originally posted by lark sparrow
*Its mainly perspective. I'll put some differing perspectives below yours simply to demonstrate.

Yes. There is a limit of how clear we can individually understand this. I don't know what it is like to be male so I have to fill in the blanks.

>Sucking a penis usually involves taking it inside yourself. There is a feeling of surrendering a personal space boundary.

*When you eat something are you not controlling the food by ingesting it? When you take something in your hand, is the object in control, or is it the hand?

If you bite it off and swallow it, you are in control of it. If it's attached to someone else, it feels like a carrot dangling out in front of you that can be withdrawn at any time.

The moment where I feel a sense of physical control is when he comes. I now have a piece of him in my mouth that I *can* control (swallow, spit etc.).

*When the dentist sticks fingers and tools into a mouth, will it be more intrusive for a mouth attached to a male with a penis or a mouth attached to a female with a vagina?

Not sure I understand the point. The owner of the finger is more dominant because he/she controls the finger and is invading the mouth. The gender of the dentist and patient is less important than the sticker versus stickee.

>Licking a clit is external to the licker. It is more of an invasion of personal space to the lickee.

*Having someone’s crotch in (or on) your face is not an invasion of personal space?

It is a lesser invasion. You still have body integrity. The crotch only touches the outer shell, it doesn't break it.

>Unless you take the penis down your throat, you are kept at a distance from the man. He has a zone of protection. Taking it down your throat is very submissive feeling in that you have let him very deeply inside you.

*Perhaps the woman sucking has the zone of protection, keeping the man at a distance. Which is more submissive – gagging or smothering?

If you own a penis, you can do both at the same time: push it down the throat and smother using the pubic area. I have to find something to put in his mouth.

Sure I have to get right down into it when I do a woman so there is a requirement of getting in close. There is also the feeling of vulnerability that a man has that I might bite it off so this isn't a cut and dried thing.

>A penis in the mouth feels like a gag. You can't talk with a penis in your mouth and you have to back off several inches (the length you currently have in your mouth) to be able to talk.

>With a clit, you can talk if you back up a half inch.

*Half inch or a few inches, you are still backing up to talk. Lol why are you backing up to talk anyhow? You can’t talk with a penis in your mouth only if you are worried about teething... I’m betting that teeth are sharper and jaws are stronger than “aroused manly flesh”.

Try sticking a dildo in your mouth sometime and trying to talk. It turns into a mumble. Bite all you want but you can't say "Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers" or "be quiet slave!".

>Also, sucking on a penis has a little bit of a childish feeling to it, like sucking a thumb or a lollypop.

*More so than say sucking a breast/nipple like a feeding child, or a female sex similar to that from which you came as an infant could be?

Sucking nipples is a more leisurely thing. You take a sip, you back off if you want and you maybe take some more. Ask a mother who has breast fed. The baby is in control. If he/she wants to eat, she/he eats. If not, shoving your tit in his/her face doesn't help. The best mom can do is influence, not control, the process.

Now if you take a carrot, you can put it in an older child's mouth and force him/her to chew and swallow. And of course you wouldn't do that to your child, because it would be abusive.

>I know this is really flimsy but it's the best I can do.

*lol no worries. Again, much of it is perspective, and personal experience and opinion will vary. Perhaps one could see how loaded with assumptions the question might be considered (i.e. male is naturally dominant by matter of his penis), which may not apply to the reality of the Dominant female and submissive male relationship.

Sure. A woman can dominate a man with oral sex. But she has to use her personality or other factors to compensate for the disadvantage of the innie/outie thing.

Some women, myself included, can do it with little effort. If I tell a man to submit, he'll submit. But that's because I know how to dominate. The disadvantage of penis versus pussy is overwhelmed by my natural superiority.

In the final analysis, I agree that the difficulty of dominating a man with oral sex is relatively trivial. If you can't dominate a man with oral sex, you probably have trouble dominating in the first place.

 

[lark sparrow]

Some women, myself included, can do it with little effort. If I tell a man to submit, he'll submit. But that's because I know how to dominate. The disadvantage of penis versus pussy is overwhelmed by my natural superiority.

*** lol the penis is one the most easily and often used forms of "submission"... "leading a man around by his dick" is hardly unheard of. In this reference, being attached to a penis in and of itself is a disadvantage as well as the ego and assumptions that can go with it - easily captured, bruised and used. And some like it that way!

In the final analysis, I agree that the difficulty of dominating a man with oral sex is relatively trivial. If you can't dominate a man with oral sex, you probably have trouble dominating in the first place.

 

[SweetDommes]

Normally with us, it is a reward - the boy has to earn it (just like any other sexual activity). Sometimes, though, I just want to ... and so I do ... the boy has no control over how it is done (speed, pressure, anything), usually tied down, or incapacitated in some way, and I do NOT let him cum from it (or at least, haven't yet ...).

Adding to my post, because I hadn't read everything else yet (was too lazy to ... lol). It is not something that I have ever seen as being "un-Dommely" to suck our boy's dick ... it is something that I am in control of, just like everything else. And if I do something that someone else sees as not being dominant, that is their problem. I have no need to prove my dominance to anyone - it is and if they can't tell, they aren't worth my time ... I will use it as I see fit and how it makes me happy. If it makes them happy too, great, if not *shrug* oh well ...

Miss Karen

 

[Netzach]

.

 

[Netzach]

It's not an issue I address physically in the logistics of the suck...****, bottom, tied, lounging on my back while masturbating, head tipped to the side.... I've sucked it in a box, I've sucked it wearing socks, I've sucked it on a lake, I've sucked it eating cake....to get Seussian.

What creates that definite feeling of me overtaking him?

1. He has to ask, beg, or be informed that he's being rewarded or has been a good boy, or has been informed that I *am* going to suck him off tonight because *I* want to. All different from the more vanilla scenario of spontaneous cocksucking for the hell of it.

2.I don't swallow. He does.

 

[Netzach]

ps, disclaimer.

I'm not hetero.

Neither is Oscar Wilde, and I bet he sucked cock.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Etoile]

ps, disclaimer.

I'm not hetero.

Neither is Oscar Wilde, and I bet he sucked cock.

Heh, yes, I realized my mistake. Several days ago I put in a request to the mods to change the thread title to "for those who have male subs" but it hasn't happened.