Hi all, first post and all that...would greatly appreciate honest criticism for this attempt of mine at poetry. It's called Drunkenly in love with an impossible angel
I soon found I couldn't live without her
her breath filled my lungs
her smile creased my cheeks
her presence made me there
When she was gone I was missed
If she starved I went hungry
her silence made me quiet
and her laughter filled my heart
I could not conceive of love
when my heart filled
air lifted me
and took me to her
The western part of all my mind
is taken up by her
and thoughts of tomorrow.
I soon found I couldn't live without her
her breath filled my lungs
her smile creased my cheeks
her presence made me there
When she was gone I was missed
If she starved I went hungry
her silence made me quiet
and her laughter filled my heart
I could not conceive of love
when my heart filled
air lifted me
and took me to her
The western part of all my mind
is taken up by her
and thoughts of tomorrow.
