A poem for you all to read

[longingfordarkness13]

Here is a non erotic poem I wrote actually more of a song for my band. Enjoy!

Let's swim through death
Far past the out stretch
Let's turn that universe wheel
Just to find whats real
Let's run loose
In that open field of memories
Cutting through galaxies
Like shooting stars
Scrambling around countless dreams
Passing through cosmic light beams
Scanning through a plastic future
Let's leave this place tonight
Let's peel the open night
Let's lodge that fiery sky
Let's call it life

If anyone would like please respond and I will put some more up. thanks for reading.

 

[jozef_the_dragon]

excellent

Longingfordarkness,
that is quite a tale, love the flow, good form, very good form, being a bit of darkness myself i do enjoy others take on the sudject, its not offten that a dark is indeed dark, as most are just using the term out of context, you have an interesting view here its fun, witty, and lives up to the thread starter, but there is no tital for this piece, when reading it i hear a tune, deep undertones with industrial sounds, and a light string section with an ethreal voice, sweet, Switchblade Symphony kinda, maybe Rasputina, anyways keep up the good work, i will be looking forward to reading more of your stuff

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

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[My Erotic Tail]

Excellent~

I use chasin' chickens as a place
to write my stuff...

This is your little world~
thanks for the invite and very nice poem!

my critic:...<grin>

I liked the beginning
the breaking up sentence lines of
"Lets"
"Try"
"Lets"
"Etc"

then the ending
"Lets"
'Lets"
"Lets"

personally I like the broken up "Lets"

but all in all it's your Literary Art
and it gave beautiful visuals!
thats what is important...

my opinion...
Art~

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

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