A passionate kiss

[NotWise]

In the story I'm about to send to Laurel, I tried to write a detailed description of a passionate kiss. I don't think I've done that before, and I'm not sure I did it well. I've written everything around the kiss over and over--the breath, the body contact, the reactions--but not much about the tastes and tangling tongues.

Can y'all refer me to good examples, or if they aren't more than three paragraphs, then post them here?

 

[PoisonPen33]

https://bookstr.com/article/top-five-best-kisses-in-literature/

I'll let the experts take this one.

 

[NotWise]

https://bookstr.com/article/top-five-best-kisses-in-literature/

I'll let the experts take this one.

That's as good as it gets, eh? I was thinking of something more erotic.

I guess I should have put my attempt into the OP, but I didn't, so here it is:

Joyce parted her lips with her breath on my cheek, and I touched her lips with mine—once, twice. They were warm and soft. I slipped the tip of my tongue between her teeth, and she met me with her own. We flirted: tasting, touching, and hiding again. I inhaled her scent and held her body in my arms, and Joyce caught her breath when I covered her mouth with mine.

I found her tongue and explored deep along one side and then softly to the other side, caressing her. We weren’t flirting anymore. She opened her mouth to welcome me, and she stroked my tongue slowly and rhythmically. She sucked me, and I drank her.

 

[GinnyPPC]

That's as good as it gets, eh? I was thinking of something more erotic.

I guess I should have put my attempt into the OP, but I didn't, so here it is:

Maybe the kiss by itself is not that erotic, but could you relate what is going on in their minds?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

“Just one kiss," he whispered, "but I want you to think of all you hold dear in this world, of all you’ve ever held dear. And then give me the kiss that you would give all that, had you but one kiss to give before losing it.”

She gathered up all her thoughts of all that she had loved and still loved, thoughts of her husband, her family, her home, of all the things she enjoyed, the tastes and sounds and touches and scents and sights, of all the places she had been and all the things she had done, of the whole of her own dear life. And she imagined losing it all, of dying and of never feeling, never knowing it again. It filled her with an overwhelming bittersweet sadness, and from that sadness grew a desire to give the whole of her life a final caress, a kiss that would flood her lips with all her love, that would drain her of all that she was.

 

[lovecraft68]

“Just one kiss," he whispered, "but I want you to think of all you hold dear in this world, of all you’ve ever held dear. And then give me the kiss that you would give all that, had you but one kiss to give before losing it.”

She gathered up all her thoughts of all that she had loved and still loved, thoughts of her husband, her family, her home, of all the things she enjoyed, the tastes and sounds and touches and scents and sights, of all the places she had been and all the things she had done, of the whole of her own dear life. And she imagined losing it all, of dying and of never feeling, never knowing it again. It filled her with an overwhelming bittersweet sadness, and from that sadness grew a desire to give the whole of her life a final caress, a kiss that would flood her lips with all her love, that would drain her of all that she was.

If anyone ever said that to me I'd laugh my ass off, and I could never say it with a straight face. I have this personal glitch where I get caught up in "who the hell talks like that?"

Great descriptive of her thoughts on the follow through. Nora Roberts could take some notes.

 

[NotWise]

Maybe the kiss by itself is not that erotic, but could you relate what is going on in their minds?

The story is first person, so I could relate the thoughts of the first person narrator, but that's all.

I tend to stay out of my characters' heads and let them express themselves through dialog and action. There's a few thousand words of dialog and action building up to that kiss.

“Just one kiss," he whispered, "but I want you to think of all you hold dear in this world, of all you’ve ever held dear. And then give me the kiss that you would give all that, had you but one kiss to give before losing it.”

She gathered up all her thoughts of all that she had loved and still loved, thoughts of her husband, her family, her home, of all the things she enjoyed, the tastes and sounds and touches and scents and sights, of all the places she had been and all the things she had done, of the whole of her own dear life. And she imagined losing it all, of dying and of never feeling, never knowing it again. It filled her with an overwhelming bittersweet sadness, and from that sadness grew a desire to give the whole of her life a final caress, a kiss that would flood her lips with all her love, that would drain her of all that she was.

This is beautifully written, but obviously contextual. It sounds like a vampire story or something similar, where this kiss will end her life. Great setting, but you don't actually describe the kiss.

If anyone ever said that to me I'd laugh my ass off, and I could never say it with a straight face. I have this personal glitch where I get caught up in "who the hell talks like that?"

Great descriptive of her thoughts on the follow through. Nora Roberts could take some notes.

Now I'm trying to imagine you as a girl, and it isn't working.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The story is first person, so I could relate the thoughts of the first person narrator, but that's all.

I tend to stay out of my characters' heads and let them express themselves through dialog and action. There's a few thousand words of dialog and action building up to that kiss.


Not having such a detailed context makes it very difficult to help you describe the kiss.

This is beautifully written, but obviously contextual. It sounds like a vampire story or something similar, where this kiss will end her life. Great setting, but you don't actually describe the kiss.

Thank you, and you're close. The physicality of the kiss follows from the metaphysicality of the kisser and kissee



Now I'm trying to imagine you as a girl, and it isn't working.

Thanks again. I almost laughed my ass off..

Describe the/a passionate kiss? Sure, but (see above) I don't know the context to give yours the right physical description. After all, there are many ways of passionate kissing. I'm presuming you don't mean the kind of passion that led to an Italian woman biting off the tip of her husband's tongue during a very hot kiss in the 60s. I'll describe one for you, if you'd like, though I don't know if it would satisfy the needs of your story. Just let me know how much detail you want.

 

[NotWise]

Describe the/a passionate kiss? Sure, but (see above) I don't know the context to give yours the right physical description. After all, there are many ways of passionate kissing. I'm presuming you don't mean the kind of passion that led to an Italian woman biting off the tip of her husband's tongue during a very hot kiss in the 60s. I'll describe one for you, if you'd like, though I don't know if it would satisfy the needs of your story. Just let me know how much detail you want.

My story is written and ready to go, so for that story I don't need help with the specifics. I was looking for how other people describe the erotic act. Setting it up is clearly an example of how to do it.

I have a fascination for pre-wwII erotica. Including photographs of couples passionately kissing, which seems to be rare in post-wwII erotica. I'd post an example, but I'm having a hard time finding cases that aren't also hardcore.

It's the full, open-mouthed kiss that I'm asking about. How people get into it, what they do, how they describe the way it feels.

 

[NotWise]

Here's something I wrote for a story yet to be published, an example from a woman's point of view... The adjective "good" is, I guess a matter of opinion, but I liked it.

At least I felt ready. He closed his eyes first. By the time his lips touched mine my eyes were closed too. The mustache of his goatee touched my upper lip and my heart jolted. His lip contact felt solid. I began to part my lips so as to feel the surface area of his. It made me smile a bit because now I could also feel the rough fuzz on his chin. He took that opportunity to slowly lick my bottom lip. I was melting. I stuck my tongue out to reach his. All we did was push our tongues against each other, then slowly roll them from side to side. Our lips never parted, just subtly adjusted in shape. The tongue play may have tasted plain but all I could think was, “Oh god, what would this feel like between my legs.” I began to get weak. I actually tried to move my tongue past his in a show of strength. At the same time I did that, I put my hand between his legs and felt something even more solid. I realized that I wasn’t getting weaker. I then felt his hand touch my breast and I became anxious, anxious to remove my clothes and help him remove his. Fate was going to happen.

Most of the examples of erotic kisses that I can remember are from the woman's point of view. Some have been Lesbian. It seems like there should be GM examples as well. It isn't like like the people involved need to have different equipment to enjoy the act.

 

[JanusGoneAwry]

Most of the examples of erotic kisses that I can remember are from the woman's point of view. Some have been Lesbian. It seems like there should be GM examples as well. It isn't like like the people involved need to have different equipment to enjoy the act.

Here's one I wrote but it is from the woman's POV. I thought that it wasn't terrible as short passages go.

His lips are soft and warm and he pulls me in close. I open my jaws as I feel his tongue push past my lips and into my waiting mouth. His thick tongue is wet as it coils around mine, coaxing it out to play. Our saliva mingles and he has my mouth pressed so tightly to his that we might as well be one person instead of two. We breathe each other's air and we taste each other and we are adrift in time. I don’t know how long that kiss lasted; a minute, an hour, a day, but it was sublime and as he pulls away I am still entranced. It feels like I am floating in space, floating away from a ship into the vastness of the universe. It feels like I am heading off on a journey, an adventure, and I am ready.

 

[karaline]

I can't think of any examples in other people's work, so here is one i wrote once...

When she still didn't speak he removed his hand from her hip and lifted her chin with his finger, tilting her face further towards his. He stepped forward and bent so his mouth was close to hers and stilled. Their lips were almost touching. A small, excruciating lifetime passed while she waited for him to close the gap.

She thought it would never happen, but then it did. She was about to burst with all the anticipation when he pressed his lips against hers. The world seemed to stop as her lips parted and delicious, smouldering flames unfurled and licked at her insides. A tiny voice in her head whispered 'tell this overbearing hulk to back off and get out of your way' but the rest of her wasn't listening. The rest of her was sighing like a contented cat.

His hands gripped her waist, and he pulled her against him. Orla's arms, which seemed to have developed a mind of their own, snaked up his chest and entwined themselves around his neck. She only just managed to stop herself before she slid her fingers through his hair.

She was enjoying his large, taut body pressed against hers, but she'd had too much to drink, everything felt too raw to embark on any kind of liaison. Seeming to sense her reluctance, he pulled back and watched her through lust-laden eyes.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Most of the examples of erotic kisses that I can remember are from the woman's point of view. Some have been Lesbian. It seems like there should be GM examples as well. It isn't like like the people involved need to have different equipment to enjoy the act.

A GM example of mine:
"I give him a big hug, cos us gayers can do that without worrying about our masculinity. We're sat on the sofa and it's warm and nice, his body leaning over mine, all firm over his ribs. And then he kisses me.

Not like he has before, those passionate snogs on the stairs as a prelude to sex, or the little friendly pecks. This is soft yet strong, holding my head so he doesn't lose me, and keeps going. My legs part involuntarily, and he falls between them. It's powerful sexy stuff, and I let him keep on doing it.

Not just let - I put my hand on his head too, and do the same things to him. It's just a kiss, but it feels like he's touching me deeper than when he was fucking my brains out on Friday.
Running my tongue over the inside of his lips, slow and deliberate, feeling his tickling the roof of my mouth, all tingly, it's gentle and enjoyable and... caring?

I care about him.
How did I let that happen?
How much of a buck eejit can I be? Don't answer that, it's a fucking rhetorical question."

On the whole, the more physical details, the more crude it sounds (as opposed to more about the emotions). Which is more erotic depends on the context and personal taste (the guy above has been resisting mixing any emotions with his sex for some time...)

 

[8letters]

From My Sister Set Me Up on a Blind Date. For their date, they call each other by their middle names - Oliver and Grace - and pretend to not be related. And the story featured the brother Todd teaching the sister Ashlynne about positive consent. They are in the back seat of a minivan.

I leaned forward to kiss her, giving her plenty of chance to stop me. Instead, she leaned into my kiss. It was a short, soft kiss that was followed by another one, then a longer one. I slipped my hand across her flat stomach and pulled her closer to me. It was like a switch turned off in my brain and I no longer thought of Ashlynne as my sister. She was a woman who wanted to be kissed and I wanted to kiss her.

I slipped my tongue inside her mouth and she greedily sucked it in. I explored her mouth while my hands roamed across the top of her collarbones, across her shoulders, down her arms and along her long smooth legs. Ashlynne kept her hands pressed against my chest, holding me in the same relative position to her. I withdrew tongue and Ashlynne's followed mine into my mouth.

We Frenched like that for a long time. Ashlynne wanted to kiss on her blind date and I was happy to go along. It had been a long time since Mandy left. I enjoyed kissing and it felt good to use my lips and tongue so intimately again.

My hands kept roaming and in each circuit, they moved a little bit closer to Ashlynne's tits. I kept the presence of mind to not grope my sister. I pulled back and kissed her on the lips. That triggered a series of hot, sloppy kisses where we kissed each other all around our mouths. As we kissed, I kept thinking about her tits. How they looked when the last time I saw her in a bikini. How they looked in various nightshirts. I tried to not think about them, but the harder I tried, the more images of them leapt unrequested to my mind. I had never dated anyone with tits as large as Ashlynne's. And they called to me like sirens.

I decided to do something different. I broke off our kisses, dropped my head down and nibbled lightly on Ashlynne's neck.

"Do you like that, Grace?"

"Oh yes, Oliver."

Ashlynne ran her fingers through my hair as I continued lightly nibbling on her neck. I nibbled upwards until I reached her right ear. I whispered in, "You're so wonderful, Grace." I nibbled here earlobe. "Do you like that?"

"God yes, Oliver."

Ashlynne was panting. I nibbled her ear a few more times before swinging my face around for a kiss. As I did, Ashlynne grabbed my head and rammed her tongue into my mouth while pulling me upwards so we were somewhat standing with one bent knee on the bench seat and one angled leg on the floor. Our tongues dueled frantically in my mouth as we ground our bodies together. Any thought of asking permission was gone. Besides, Ashlynne was initiating as much as I was. I realized I was cupping Ashlynne's ass with my right hand to balance myself. When I moved my hand away, she grabbed it and pulled it back. I began running my hand up from above the back of her knee up to her ass and then back down as we continued to frantically kiss. On each trip up, I gave her ass a strong rub and a squeeze.

 

[8letters]

From My Cookie-Baking Sister:

Kate stepped up to me, raising her head to meet mine while tilting it slightly. I wrapped my arms around her as I brought my mouth down to hers. I lightly brushed my lips against hers for the first kiss, enjoying their softness. The next kiss was firmer and lasted longer. On third kiss, I pressed my lips firmly against hers as Kate pressed her body against mine. I pushed my tongue forward and parted her lips. She opened her mouth and I pushed my tongue into her mouth. Kate's tongue touched mine in a welcoming greeting and then dodged away. I sought it out with my tongue, giving it a gentle caress. Kate moved hers to the other side of her mouth. I followed it and this time Kate's tongue caressed back. My dick was hard in an uncomfortable position and I didn't want to adjust it in front of Kate. We stood there for a long time, our tongues cavorting together. Kate leaned harder into me; I could feel her big tits mashed against my chest as our tongues dueled. My hands drifted naturally to her waist and after a few moments started sliding downward. I stopped myself just before I cupped Kate's ass.

 

[gordo12]

That's as good as it gets, eh? I was thinking of something more erotic.

I guess I should have put my attempt into the OP, but I didn't, so here it is:

"Joyce parted her lips with her breath on my cheek, and I touched her lips with mine—once, twice. They were warm and soft. I slipped the tip of my tongue between her teeth, and she met me with her own. We flirted: tasting, touching, and hiding again. I inhaled her scent and held her body in my arms, and Joyce caught her breath when I covered her mouth with mine.

I found her tongue and explored deep along one side and then softly to the other side, caressing her. We weren’t flirting anymore. She opened her mouth to welcome me, and she stroked my tongue slowly and rhythmically. She sucked me, and I drank her

I like what you wrote except for the last sentence. It put me off!