A note about breast sizes. Women’s bra sizes have two measurements, a number and a letter. The number refers to the size of a woman’s rib cage. The letter refers to the difference between the circumference of her chest and the circumference of her bust at the fullest point. 1”=A cup, 2”=B cup, 3”=C cup, 4”=D cup, 5”=DD cup, and so on.
A woman who is 5’2” tall and has a ‘38D’ measurement is either a) wearing entirely the wrong size of bra
b) overweight, or
c) anatomically outside the norm (that’s not a bad thing, just an unusual one).
It’s more likely she has a 38-inch *bust* measurement, which would be a 34D bra size or a 36B bra size (Yes, bra sizes only come in even numbers. No, most women don’t fit perfectly into one of those sizes. That’s why bras have more than one set of hooks.). If she’s really a 38D, her bust measurement is 42 inches (38” for ribs, plus 4” for breasts).
Furthermore, any woman who is 5’6” and weighs less than 130 pounds is underweight, unless she has the bones of a hummingbird. A good rule of thumb is 100 pound for the first five feet, then five pounds for every inch thereafter. A woman needs to have at least 12 percent body fat to function as an adult female (that means a menstrual cycle, folks). Less than 12 percent body fat means an increased risk of dysmenorrhea (no periods), chronic low body temperature, and increased risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis.
Women feel soft because they have an extra layer of subcutaneous fat – adding to the overall body fat percentage without really being noticeable. Breasts are also mostly made of fat, and add to that overall percentage without making a woman too fat.
The next time I read a story including a 5’3” woman who weighs 95 pounds dripping wet and has 40C breasts is going to make me scream, because *she’s not normal.* Yes, there are some of them out there, and I apologize to any wonderful lady I’ve just called a freak of nature, but, sorry, you are one (again, not a bad thing, just unusual – you beat the odds, baby, now go buy a lottery ticket).
It seems to be mostly male writers who are hung up on the numbers, anyway. Why not just describe her as petite, thin, and with great big tits to kill for? We’d all get the idea without the baseball stats, guys.
There. I feel much better now, and you can have the soapbox back. And for anyone who has actually read this far in my little slice of Dennis Miller, thank you for your kind attention.
A woman who is 5’2” tall and has a ‘38D’ measurement is either a) wearing entirely the wrong size of bra
b) overweight, or
c) anatomically outside the norm (that’s not a bad thing, just an unusual one).
It’s more likely she has a 38-inch *bust* measurement, which would be a 34D bra size or a 36B bra size (Yes, bra sizes only come in even numbers. No, most women don’t fit perfectly into one of those sizes. That’s why bras have more than one set of hooks.). If she’s really a 38D, her bust measurement is 42 inches (38” for ribs, plus 4” for breasts).
Furthermore, any woman who is 5’6” and weighs less than 130 pounds is underweight, unless she has the bones of a hummingbird. A good rule of thumb is 100 pound for the first five feet, then five pounds for every inch thereafter. A woman needs to have at least 12 percent body fat to function as an adult female (that means a menstrual cycle, folks). Less than 12 percent body fat means an increased risk of dysmenorrhea (no periods), chronic low body temperature, and increased risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis.
Women feel soft because they have an extra layer of subcutaneous fat – adding to the overall body fat percentage without really being noticeable. Breasts are also mostly made of fat, and add to that overall percentage without making a woman too fat.
The next time I read a story including a 5’3” woman who weighs 95 pounds dripping wet and has 40C breasts is going to make me scream, because *she’s not normal.* Yes, there are some of them out there, and I apologize to any wonderful lady I’ve just called a freak of nature, but, sorry, you are one (again, not a bad thing, just unusual – you beat the odds, baby, now go buy a lottery ticket).
It seems to be mostly male writers who are hung up on the numbers, anyway. Why not just describe her as petite, thin, and with great big tits to kill for? We’d all get the idea without the baseball stats, guys.
There. I feel much better now, and you can have the soapbox back. And for anyone who has actually read this far in my little slice of Dennis Miller, thank you for your kind attention.
