the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
This week marked eight months of my servious to Jounar. Like we do from time to time and almost every aniversery, we too the opertunity to talk about how we each thought things were going. This time when he asked me if there was anything else I would like to add to my list of rules or what have you, I mentioned orgasm control. It's something we've talked about before, tho never very seriously. We've even joked about me not wanting to give that up, or him putting me in the "once a month program". I guess I joked a little too much because it really shocked him that I was so interested in it. In reality it was something I always thought he should have control over, and was a bit surprized when he didn't take control of it to start out with. In fact he seemed to like the idea that I was masterbating, something I very rarely did before.
After talking a bit, I had made my decition that I wanted him to have this power. That's when he surprized me. He told me what his terms would be, nothing I didn't expect. And I asked questions where I had some, and still I was ready to give my orgasm to him. Then I realized just how serious he was. He told me that he really wanted me to think on it, and I said that I have for a while, but that I would think further if it was his wish. I then proceded to the next subject and he stopped me. He then informed me of the terms of my acceptance. If I was to agree to this, I was to first send an email to him stating the terms I agree to (something we've always done since my first email of submission and then each time we add some new term), then sit on tacks until I am sobbing, and finally I would call him and verbally agree to his terms then I would be given one final orgasm of my own free will.
It then hit me how serious this really was. He's never really been too much on symbolizim, and when there was some, it was usually something little, like the email, or a verbal agreement. So this was big, the whole scene was drowning in symbolizim. And after asking a few more questions, I knew that my choice had not wavered and that this is what I want. I want to give this power to him, and I did.
I sent the email right away, and got the acceptance email promptly. Then last night the "cerimony" was carried out, with one minor snag. With the way he worded it, I miss understood and actually put myself thru a bit more than was nessisary.
I should have asked when I thought something didn't quite fit, and so this was almost a lesson as well. After almost a half hour on the tacks I was very much a sobbing mess, no mess isn't the right word. I physically hurt, I went streight from the folding chair I was sitting on belly first onto my bed infront of me, where as I usually stand and brush all the tacks off first. I just lay there for a bit and wept. I felt clensed some how. Refreshed, complete even. And tho we are so far apart, I could almost feel his eyes on me, proud and caring. I thought I couldn't feel anycloser to him as I did in that moment. And then came the next part.
I was to ring him. I wasn't nervous at all, but insted felt very subdued. Calm and peaceful. As we talked a bit, I did have a moment when I felt a bit shy, but the moment came, the verbal transfur. "I give my orgasms to you"...."I accept". Then I was given one, the first one he's ever shared with me over the phone, and the first one I ever asked for from him. Hearing his breath, knowing that I was pleasing him, knowing that I will no longer control when this will happen again, it was all ....overwhelming. I felt so many things at once. Happy, excited, arroused, and most of all submissive. For the first time in quite a while honestly, I felt his power over me, and I love that feeling. After that we talked for just a bit more. Mainly him talking as I was very much in a subby frame of mind which tends to mute me a bit. He told me how proud he is of me, and how well I have done so far. That he is very pleased with me, and very happy to own me. And then as we were saying good bye, another first. He said "I love you", verbally said it for the first time. I've seen it on my screen before. And the little hearts and lovie smilies even more often. But this time, this time I got to hear it from his lips, and at that moment the ocean didn't seem so wide. The distance between us seemed more like a few blocks than so many, many miles.
Not twenty minutes after hanging up another thing happened that seemed fitting. It was at that moment that I started menstrating. Yet another clensing act. And I thought to myself "How appropriate".
I love my Sir very much and I look forward to the day when we will betogether. Thank you, Sir for accepting me, for guiding me as I learn who I am and who I wish to be, for being one that I can run to when the world is a scary and cruel place, for showing me all the love I thought I'd never have again, for making me believe that I was worth that love. Thank you for showing me that I am beautiful, but that I have so much more to offer than that. Thank you for accepting my submission. I love you with all my being, and I'm so happy that we've been brought together.
After talking a bit, I had made my decition that I wanted him to have this power. That's when he surprized me. He told me what his terms would be, nothing I didn't expect. And I asked questions where I had some, and still I was ready to give my orgasm to him. Then I realized just how serious he was. He told me that he really wanted me to think on it, and I said that I have for a while, but that I would think further if it was his wish. I then proceded to the next subject and he stopped me. He then informed me of the terms of my acceptance. If I was to agree to this, I was to first send an email to him stating the terms I agree to (something we've always done since my first email of submission and then each time we add some new term), then sit on tacks until I am sobbing, and finally I would call him and verbally agree to his terms then I would be given one final orgasm of my own free will.
It then hit me how serious this really was. He's never really been too much on symbolizim, and when there was some, it was usually something little, like the email, or a verbal agreement. So this was big, the whole scene was drowning in symbolizim. And after asking a few more questions, I knew that my choice had not wavered and that this is what I want. I want to give this power to him, and I did.
I sent the email right away, and got the acceptance email promptly. Then last night the "cerimony" was carried out, with one minor snag. With the way he worded it, I miss understood and actually put myself thru a bit more than was nessisary.
I should have asked when I thought something didn't quite fit, and so this was almost a lesson as well. After almost a half hour on the tacks I was very much a sobbing mess, no mess isn't the right word. I physically hurt, I went streight from the folding chair I was sitting on belly first onto my bed infront of me, where as I usually stand and brush all the tacks off first. I just lay there for a bit and wept. I felt clensed some how. Refreshed, complete even. And tho we are so far apart, I could almost feel his eyes on me, proud and caring. I thought I couldn't feel anycloser to him as I did in that moment. And then came the next part.I was to ring him. I wasn't nervous at all, but insted felt very subdued. Calm and peaceful. As we talked a bit, I did have a moment when I felt a bit shy, but the moment came, the verbal transfur. "I give my orgasms to you"...."I accept". Then I was given one, the first one he's ever shared with me over the phone, and the first one I ever asked for from him. Hearing his breath, knowing that I was pleasing him, knowing that I will no longer control when this will happen again, it was all ....overwhelming. I felt so many things at once. Happy, excited, arroused, and most of all submissive. For the first time in quite a while honestly, I felt his power over me, and I love that feeling. After that we talked for just a bit more. Mainly him talking as I was very much in a subby frame of mind which tends to mute me a bit. He told me how proud he is of me, and how well I have done so far. That he is very pleased with me, and very happy to own me. And then as we were saying good bye, another first. He said "I love you", verbally said it for the first time. I've seen it on my screen before. And the little hearts and lovie smilies even more often. But this time, this time I got to hear it from his lips, and at that moment the ocean didn't seem so wide. The distance between us seemed more like a few blocks than so many, many miles.
Not twenty minutes after hanging up another thing happened that seemed fitting. It was at that moment that I started menstrating. Yet another clensing act. And I thought to myself "How appropriate".
I love my Sir very much and I look forward to the day when we will betogether. Thank you, Sir for accepting me, for guiding me as I learn who I am and who I wish to be, for being one that I can run to when the world is a scary and cruel place, for showing me all the love I thought I'd never have again, for making me believe that I was worth that love. Thank you for showing me that I am beautiful, but that I have so much more to offer than that. Thank you for accepting my submission. I love you with all my being, and I'm so happy that we've been brought together.
