A new poem

[CNDPhD]

I have taken a shot at writing a short poem. Not my best mode of communication, but it was fun trying.. it has a strong FemDom and male humiliation theme to it.. so if that is not your thing.. dont bother..

if you do read it, please give me some feedback, or at least a vote.

thanks

CND

 

[WickedEve]

Eyes Open But No Light

Anyone into FemDom and male humiliation may enjoy this one.

 

[CNDPhD]

the question is, did you enjoy it

 

[WickedEve]

The content didn't personally appeal to me. That's why I said it would most likely be enjoyed by those into Fem Dom and male humiliation.
As far as poetry goes, it's fine. It's a simple rhyming poem (AA BB CC...) that is helped by an interesting topic.

 

[CNDPhD]

honestly I thought it was trite.. but was the best i could do as a first try

 

[Rybka]

Feedback

CNDPhD wrote:

honestly I thought it was trite.. but was the best i could do as a first try

You were right, but don't give up. You have the couplet rhyme scheme under control as well as metre. Now just try a different topic and explore less common imagery. - I, like Eve, am not interested in your chosen topic, but that doesn't mean that either of us won't like your future efforts.

By the way, WickedEve always give great constructive advice and does not have an evil bone in her body, even if she cannot write a rhyme to save her soul!!! (O.K. Maybe one bad bone.)

Regards, Rybka

 

[CNDPhD]

thank you both for the great input..

I will try something a bit lest structured next time.. and maybe a less intense theme



CND

 

[CNDPhD]

another try

I have written a short poem about one of the ladies of Lit.. it has been submitted to the non-erotic group.. hope it is received better than my first semi-lame effort

CND

 

[_Land]

Re: another try

I have written a short poem about one of the ladies of Lit.. it has been submitted to the non-erotic group.. hope it is received better than my first semi-lame effort

CND

It would help if you started posting your poems link in here.

 

[CNDPhD]

I will as soon as the poem is uploaded.. it takes a day or so between submission and posting.. was just giving a heads up

CND

 

[_Land]

I will as soon as the poem is uploaded.. it takes a day or so between submission and posting.. was just giving a heads up

CND

Well that explains why i couldnt find it any where LOL Keep posting.............prctice does bring perfection, even if we never see it ourselves.