SeaCat
Hey, my Halo is smoking
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2003
- Posts
- 15,378
In another thread we were talking about how those in the medical field have a warped/destroyed sense of humor. Here is a good case of it.
*Warning, for those with weak sphincters back out now.*
We had a male patient on the floor. The day before I picked him up as a patient he had a Catheter placed. The day I picked him up his R.N. went in and did his Catheter Care before I got to get in and see him. (She felt that a mere Aide wouldn't do the proper Catheter Care.
)
I went in and started getting him cleaned up. When I reached his Pubic Region I stood there for a minute in shock. (The R.N. had mentioned to me she had done his Catheter Care.) The end of his Penis as well as the Catheter were liberaly coated with an ugly thick discharge. Furthermore the Frenum, (the area beneath the Glans on the bottom or underside of the Penis,) was swollen grotesquely and a rather nasty shade of red.
I called in the R.N. and she took one look at it and just shrugged while telling me it looked like a minor infection and that she would inform the M.D. of this.
She did so and he followed her recomendation of removing the Catheter and replacing it with an External. (She didn't ask the M.D. to check it out, instead she told him it was a minor swelling of the Penis with a minor discharge.) She removed the Catheter and told me to put an external in place.
I didn't argue with her. Instead I went to the Charge Nurse and told her what I had seen and what I thought was the problem. She accompanied me to the room and assisted me as I attempted to put the external in place. It just couldn't be done because the poor guys penis had folded over when the catheter had been removed. The swelling was even worse. The Charge Nurse was in complete shock at what she saw. She then called the M.D. with me at her side then handed me the phone. I explained in very graffic detail what I had seen and when he asked me what I thought I told him. He was quiet for a minute thinking before asking me to hand the phone back to the Charge Nurse so he could issue his orders.
Within minutes the patient was transported to Radiology for a series of X-Rays of his penis. (I can well imagine the comments that order created in Radiology.) There was a wet read, (No puns please, I used most of them already.) sent to the M.D. and the patient was scheduled for emergency surgery.
The man had a ruptured blood vessel in his Penis. A rupture caused by the rough handling he had undergone when the Catheter had been put in. They had to lance his Penis to drain it, then go in and repair the blood vessel. (The guy got his Prick Pricked.) When the patient came back on the floor his penis was wrapped in a special dressing, which was of course quickly called his Custom Condom.
The R.N. of course received a special dose of humor from the rest of the staff. She was asked if she thought the guys wife wanted him to shoot backwards. She was nicknamed the Pecker Wrecker. One R.N. has even gone so far as to comment that maybe this was why she didn't have children. Another asked her if she liked her guys short and thick so if they weren't she folded them in half.
Now the mystery is this. Just how did they manage to injure him in such a way without him screaming in pain? Without it being noticed? Granted the Penis is loaded with blood vessels but none of them in that area are so large any single one would cause that kind of damage.
Cat
Should I tell the one about the woman from the jail?
*Warning, for those with weak sphincters back out now.*
We had a male patient on the floor. The day before I picked him up as a patient he had a Catheter placed. The day I picked him up his R.N. went in and did his Catheter Care before I got to get in and see him. (She felt that a mere Aide wouldn't do the proper Catheter Care.
)I went in and started getting him cleaned up. When I reached his Pubic Region I stood there for a minute in shock. (The R.N. had mentioned to me she had done his Catheter Care.) The end of his Penis as well as the Catheter were liberaly coated with an ugly thick discharge. Furthermore the Frenum, (the area beneath the Glans on the bottom or underside of the Penis,) was swollen grotesquely and a rather nasty shade of red.
I called in the R.N. and she took one look at it and just shrugged while telling me it looked like a minor infection and that she would inform the M.D. of this.
She did so and he followed her recomendation of removing the Catheter and replacing it with an External. (She didn't ask the M.D. to check it out, instead she told him it was a minor swelling of the Penis with a minor discharge.) She removed the Catheter and told me to put an external in place.
I didn't argue with her. Instead I went to the Charge Nurse and told her what I had seen and what I thought was the problem. She accompanied me to the room and assisted me as I attempted to put the external in place. It just couldn't be done because the poor guys penis had folded over when the catheter had been removed. The swelling was even worse. The Charge Nurse was in complete shock at what she saw. She then called the M.D. with me at her side then handed me the phone. I explained in very graffic detail what I had seen and when he asked me what I thought I told him. He was quiet for a minute thinking before asking me to hand the phone back to the Charge Nurse so he could issue his orders.
Within minutes the patient was transported to Radiology for a series of X-Rays of his penis. (I can well imagine the comments that order created in Radiology.) There was a wet read, (No puns please, I used most of them already.) sent to the M.D. and the patient was scheduled for emergency surgery.
The man had a ruptured blood vessel in his Penis. A rupture caused by the rough handling he had undergone when the Catheter had been put in. They had to lance his Penis to drain it, then go in and repair the blood vessel. (The guy got his Prick Pricked.) When the patient came back on the floor his penis was wrapped in a special dressing, which was of course quickly called his Custom Condom.
The R.N. of course received a special dose of humor from the rest of the staff. She was asked if she thought the guys wife wanted him to shoot backwards. She was nicknamed the Pecker Wrecker. One R.N. has even gone so far as to comment that maybe this was why she didn't have children. Another asked her if she liked her guys short and thick so if they weren't she folded them in half.
Now the mystery is this. Just how did they manage to injure him in such a way without him screaming in pain? Without it being noticed? Granted the Penis is loaded with blood vessels but none of them in that area are so large any single one would cause that kind of damage.
Cat
Should I tell the one about the woman from the jail?
