A Man's Prayer

[Juliangel]

I wish this could happen to my honey so he will quit bitching for a change, this is how my day goes, well except for the sex.

A man was complaining: "Oh Lord, please have mercy on me, I work so hard, meantime my wife stays at home. I would give anything if you would grant me one wish, switch me into my wife. She's got it so easy at home. I want to teach her a lesson on how tough a man's life really is."

As God was listening he felt sorry for this poor soul and granted his wish.

The next morning the "new woman" wakes up at dawn, makes breakfast, packs lunch boxes, wakes the kids for school, does battle to get kids dressed,puts a load of clothes in the washer, takes the meat from the freezer, drives the kids to school, stops to buy gas, cashes a check, pays bills, picks up clothes from cleaners, and then quickly does the grocery shopping.

By this time it is already 1:00 o'clock. He changed the bedsheets, made beds, took the clothes out of the washer and put another load in. He vacuumed the house, mopped, picked up toys from the floor, made some rice, went to pick the kids up from school, had a "conference" with teacher about kids behavoir, and had an argument with the kids.

As soon as he got home he helped kids with homework, folded and put away clean clothes, put another load in to wash, fed the kids, washed dirty dishes, watched some TV as he ironed clothes, gave the kids a bath and put them to bed.

At 9:00 o'clock he was so tired he went to bed. Of course his duties were not finished. He had to perform the mattress mambo with his spouse and act as though this was what he had been thinking of all day. Somehow he managed to get that done and finally fell asleep.

The next morning he prays to God once again: "Oh Lord, what was I thinking when I asked you to grant my wish? I beg you to please switch me back to myself. I can't take it anymore!"

Then he heard God's voice speaking to him, saying "Dear son, of course I'll switch you back but there's one minor detail, you will have to wait 9 months because last night you got pregnant."

 

[LacyCasy]

IF MEN RULED THE WORLD . . .

1. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

2. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

3. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a half time.

4. The funniest guy in the office would get to be Director.

5. "Sorry I'm late, but I got hammered last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

6. It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.

7. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

8. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

9. Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

10. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

11. Police would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing police or to the crooks.

12. The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

13. The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.

14. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

15. Every man would get four *real* Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

16. When a police officer gave you a ticket, every smart-alec answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Police: "You know how fast you were going?" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Police: "Nice one. That's $10 off."

17. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

18. Not only would there be an automatic 30 second limit cutoff timer on the phone but the number just dialed would not be accessible again for two days.

19. Beer would be a major food group.

20. A man could have as many wives as needed to support his needs. Preferably, one of each profession: Doctor, Lawyer, Mechanic, House Keeper, Gardner, Chef, Carpenter, Professional Angler, Mason and Chiropractor.

21. The Lifetime Channel would be used for good instead of evil.

22. Women would understand that aspirin will get rid of a headache.

23. Beds would be manufactured with beer, aspirin, and paper towel dispensers built into the headboard.

 

[R Nitelight]

LacyCasy

Hello. I'm R Nitelight. It's a pleasure to meet you.


Juliangel

Have I been neglecting you, darling? C'mere!
http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/net8/wink.gif

 

[Juliangel]

Juliangel

Have I been neglecting you, darling? C'mere!
http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/net8/wink.gif

Good Morning Sweetie,http://smilecwm.tripod.com/sally/liplick.gifI did miss you yesterday.

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

I have to tell you my man is not that bad..He only likes 3 sports..1st Wrestling for mistakes (got to love the wwf and the writers) 2nd ...Nude Sincronized Swimming...(you get the picture it should be a olympic sport)..3rd A good romp in the hay with me of course and thats a workout on its own (I just love fore play)...


THE WIFE