A man hater?

[knitedreams]

There's a professor at my college that has a huge following. The women love him and the men worship (yes, even the heterosexual ones) the ground he walks on. Most of the students that walk into his classroom for the first time, walk out joining the already massive group of followers. I've taken six of his classes, all of my friends have taken his classes and are now his followers. I, however, am not and, frankly, don't get it.

I agree that he's incredibly smart, articulate, witty, funny, and is handsome in that average-Joe kinda way. But I'm not about to go dreamy eyed when he walks by or be ridiculously pleased that he's making an appearance at a party that I'll be attending. I find it beyond funny watching the reactions of his followers whenever he's around. I laugh until my stomach hurts listening to them extol his virtues.

My close friend once told me the reason I don't worship the ground he walks on is because I'm a man hater. That gave me pause. If I were a man hater, wouldn't I go out of my way so I don't interact with them? Wouldn't I be rude to them every time I talked to them?

Granted, I assume all men are idiots, clueless, and in desperate need of sensitivity training. But I don't do anything to let men know I think that way. I'm always nice to them, most of my friends are men! Aside from my preconceived notions of their failings, I think they're awesome to hang out with and I would much rather do things with a man than a woman, such as playing video games, poker, watching baseball, sex on occasion since I am heterosexual as well....things I wouldn't be able to do with women.

So because I don't fall over myself whenever in the presence of this "great" professor, does that mean I'm a man hater?

 

[Stella_Omega]

No, you're immune to his charisma, that's all.
Nobody can please everybody all of the time-- this guy can't please you.

 

[knitedreams]

No, you're immune to his charisma, that's all.
Nobody can please everybody all of the time-- this guy can't please you.

Thanks, Stella . That comment was really starting to bug me! I'd like to think of myself as an all around nice person.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I don't think it makes you a "man hater" by any stretch of the imagination. Your friend's remark seems so off-the-cuff and more like a knee-jerk reaction.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't think it makes you a "man hater" by any stretch of the imagination. Your friend's remark seems so off-the-cuff and more like a knee-jerk reaction.

... and "fannish" *nods*

 

[somberReality]

I actually like the fact that you don't "follow the crowd." You don't come across as a man hater to me. But of course it's just my thoughts.

 

[galaxygoddess]

I'm the same way about a lot of different people.

For instance, before he went insane, lots of women fawned all over Tom Cruise. I always have and always will thinkhe's an ugly little troll. If I saw him out somewhere and did not know he was famous, I wouldn't give him a second glance, even BEING famous it would be "oh look, a famous person, whoopdy frickin doo".

Yet people called me a man hater for not just SWOOOOONing over him. Are they serious? honestly, explain this to me.


So yeah, I'm in your boat. You and I, we just have more "refined" tastes

 

[knitedreams]

I'm the same way about a lot of different people.

For instance, before he went insane, lots of women fawned all over Tom Cruise. I always have and always will thinkhe's an ugly little troll. If I saw him out somewhere and did not know he was famous, I wouldn't give him a second glance, even BEING famous it would be "oh look, a famous person, whoopdy frickin doo".

Yet people called me a man hater for not just SWOOOOONing over him. Are they serious? honestly, explain this to me.


So yeah, I'm in your boat. You and I, we just have more "refined" tastes

Ew! Yeah, I'm with you on that one, especially with your troll comment. Maybe we're just not susceptible to that type of charisma? I'm happy there are other people who just don't get it.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Yeah! I remember when I was in NYC once and a friend said, "Hey, There goes Adam Sandler hailing a cab." I said, "So what?"

Honestly, I just don't get into the whole cult of personality thing, unless it's somebody I adore. For instance, if I saw Monica Bellucci walking down the street, I would faint right then and there.

 

[knitedreams]

Yeah! I remember when I was in NYC once and a friend said, "Hey, There goes Adam Sandler hailing a cab." I said, "So what?"

Honestly, I just don't get into the whole cult of personality thing, unless it's somebody I adore. For instance, if I saw Monica Bellucci walking down the street, I would faint right then and there.

Kenneth Branagh for me, but only because I like the way he acts in Shakespeare plays.

 

[galaxygoddess]

Jackie Chan for me. So what if he and my mom are only a couple of months apart in age

 

[knitedreams]

Jackie Chan for me. So what if he and my mom are only a couple of months apart in age

Jackie Chan rocks! You know his son looks just like him!

 

[rgraham666]

For instance, if I saw Monica Bellucci walking down the street, I would faint right then and there.

I'd probably trip over my tongue.

As to the 'friend's' comment, people like the world to be black and white. It makes decision making easier. The 'friend' has simply fallen into that trap.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

KNITEDDREAMS

Well, men are dolts. No one disputes the fact.

My dog is a dolt, too. But I dont hate my dog. He's occasionally useful.

 

[knitedreams]

KNITEDDREAMS

Well, men are dolts. No one disputes the fact.

My dog is a dolt, too. But I dont hate my dog. He's occasionally useful.

I think the same thing about my cat.

 

[galaxygoddess]

Jackie Chan rocks! You know his son looks just like him!

WAIT!! stop the presses!!!! He has a son? I didn't know this??? *slaps self

Tell me, how old is he? :3

 

[knitedreams]

WAIT!! stop the presses!!!! He has a son? I didn't know this??? *slaps self

Tell me, how old is he? :3

Yep! Jaycee Chan who's about 25 and is starting to get into the movie business. He's big into music as well. Too cute!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1548493/

 

[Recidiva]

Granted, I assume all men are idiots, clueless, and in desperate need of sensitivity training. But I don't do anything to let men know I think that way.

Maybe your friend knows this.

But there's no reason to resort to "hate"

Hate's very strong. Sounds like just disdain.

 

[knitedreams]

Maybe your friend knows this.

But there's no reason to resort to "hate"

Hate's very strong. Sounds like just disdain.

She does and, yes, hate is too strong a word. I could live with the word "disdain." Hate seems all encompassing; disdain doesn't.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

"I assume all men are idiots, clueless, and in desperate need of sensitivity training . . . but most of my friends are men!"

So many ways to go with that - (example: "What does that say about you?" )

However, although this screams out "contradiction!" I just can't quite bring myself to scream it - it sounds too familiar!

 

[galaxygoddess]

Yep! Jaycee Chan who's about 25 and is starting to get into the movie business. He's big into music as well. Too cute!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1548493/

*stuffs tongue back in head*

I HAVE A NEW GOAL @.@ *plots

 

[gauchecritic]

Sounds to me like a cross between protesting too much and wanting to stick out in the crowd.

And at least hate is a motivating emotion. Disdain is just crass.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Granted, I assume all men are idiots, clueless, and in desperate need of sensitivity training. But I don't do anything to let men know I think that way. I'm always nice to them, most of my friends are men! Aside from my preconceived notions of their failings, I think they're awesome to hang out with and I would much rather do things with a man than a woman, such as playing video games, poker, watching baseball, sex on occasion since I am heterosexual as well....things I wouldn't be able to do with women.

I see this differently than other posters have. I realize that this is only one horse's perception. However, I found this last paragraph both disturbing and potentially the key to interpreting the rest.

There is, of course, one possiblity that doesn't require this last paragraph. Perhaps this professor really is a Svengali figure, hoodwinking all of your friends into overestimating his worth and forming a cult of the personality around him. It's not impossible. On the other hand, it's not especially likely either. It's not in the inherent nature of most students to so thoroughly idolize someone who assigns them homework. And then there's that last paragraph of yours. What might it add up to?

It suggests to me that you do have issues with men, and that you're not comfortable with men if you don't feel that you're in control of the situation. So long as you're free to think of men as clueless idiots, you're comfortable with them; they are, as another poster suggested, something like pets. However, this professor has both authority and, evidently, intelligence, and has charmed your friends as well.

Your comments (and I have only a very limited amount of information here, and am happy to acknowledge how imperfect that renders my perceptions) suggest to me that you're feeling defensive. He's not acting like the inferior creature you're comfortable with in a man; he's not idiotic, he's not clueless, and the adoration of your friends seems to suggest that he's not insensitive either. That puts you in an awkward position. Either you have to believe that he's a sort of man you're not comfortable with and don't like to deal with, or you can take the course of deciding that your friends are all idiots swooning over someone who really isn't that special.

Your description of their reactions makes me suspect that you're defensively aiming for the latter. These are your own words describing their reactions:

But I'm not about to go dreamy eyed when he walks by or be ridiculously pleased that he's making an appearance at a party that I'll be attending. I find it beyond funny watching the reactions of his followers whenever he's around. I laugh until my stomach hurts listening to them extol his virtues.

There's a great deal of bitterness coming through in the emotionally loaded terms you've used to describe how people react to this individual. It strikes me as unusual that you invest so much emotional energy into the issue of whether they like a particular professor more than you do. I've met professors I liked and professors I didn't, and I've even had one whom the rest of the class seemed to like and I thought was an unethical sham. However, I've never had anything like so powerful a reaction to the idea that other people liked a professor I didn't. Your lines above seem to suggest that their admiration is a personal threat that you have to combat.

You're also unhappy about your friend's comment. In my experience, the comments that strike home hardest are the ones we are concerned might be truthful. The fact that you didn't laugh off the comment without another thought is something to give some attention to.

 

[gauchecritic]

It's not in the inherent nature of most students to so thoroughly idolize someone who assigns them homework.

I beg to differ. I'd say it's almost typical of students. Particularly students that have left home for the first time. (and by professor I'm assuming some sort of college thing here rather than school)

 

[BlackShanglan]

I beg to differ. I'd say it's almost typical of students. Particularly students that have left home for the first time. (and by professor I'm assuming some sort of college thing here rather than school)

Interesting. Never seen it myself. I shall pass word on to my friends who teach at the local university - there's hope yet.