A little short...

[Guest]

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and at the
appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to
enter a password...something he will use to log on. The husband in a
amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this
to his wife's attention So, when he entered his password he made it
plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.... P.. E.. N.. I.. S..

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied
PASSWORD REJECTED...NOT LONG ENOUGH.......

 

[rgraham666]

 

[Guest]

LOL... i love that one...how about this:

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of
them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't
seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead,"
There is a silence........and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

 

[eric shawn listo]

LOL... i love that one...how about this:

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of
them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't
seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead,"
There is a silence........and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and probably have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember...

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent...

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday!" And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable"

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.....

followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there -



on the couch -













naked.

 

[SnoopDog]

LOL... i love that one...how about this:

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of
them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't
seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead,"
There is a silence........and then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"

How about this one though:

"Three rednecks are out in the woods hunting deer when suddenly one has a heart-attack. No cell phone at hand the remaining two don't have a clue what to do. Suddenly one has an idea: 'Fire a shot, maybe someone will notice and come for help'. 'Good Idea', the other replied and did as said. Nothing happens. 'Try another one'. The second shot is fired - yet no help. 'What now ?', the first one ask. 'I don't know. I could fire another shot but that would be my last arrow.'




Any good?


Snoopy

 

[Guest]

How about this one though:

"Three rednecks are out in the woods hunting deer when suddenly one has a heart-attack. No cell phone at hand the remaining two don't have a clue what to do. Suddenly one has an idea: 'Fire a shot, maybe someone will notice and come for help'. 'Good Idea', the other replied and did as said. Nothing happens. 'Try another one'. The second shot is fired - yet no help. 'What now ?', the first one ask. 'I don't know. I could fire another shot but that would be my last arrow.'




Any good?


Snoopy

perfection!
got a laugh from me...
*should i take a moment to say, im an easy laugh?*

 

[Liar]

"Three rednecks are out in the woods hunting deer when suddenly one has a heart-attack. No cell phone at hand the remaining two don't have a clue what to do. Suddenly one has an idea: 'Fire a shot, maybe someone will notice and come for help'. 'Good Idea', the other replied and did as said. Nothing happens. 'Try another one'. The second shot is fired - yet no help. 'What now ?', the first one ask. 'I don't know. I could fire another shot but that would be my last arrow.'

That was damn good. I really had no idea where it was headed until the last word.

 

[SnoopDog]

That was damn good. I really had no idea where it was headed until the last word.

Thnx. By the way, I love your current title.



Snoopy, meow