A little help please...

[azrael13]

I am pretty new here, so first off I would just like to say "hello, you guys have a nice place. Do mind if I stay a while?"

Secondly I was hoping I could get a little constructive criticism on the handfull of stories I've submitted. They are basically one continuous story as opposed to various different ones, but now that I am about half way through the story I thought it would be nice to get some feedback.

The just of the story is about a man who loses a bet to his wife and becomes her slave.

Here are the links:http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=279417
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=283650
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=283651
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=283652
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=284726
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=284728
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=288509
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=290052
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=290053
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=292464

Thanks in advance for all your help.

BTW: I have already written the next two chapters so please don't be offended if it appears that I am ignoring your advice. Thanx again!

 

[azrael13]

You don't have to read them all to give me a little feedback... I am just looking to get an idea of where I am at and what you all think...

comments... Anyone?

 

[azrael13]

Wow, really?... no one?

Just a little?

please...

just read one of them and tell me something.. please...

 

[pulpmanuel]

So, I originally thought that the idea was a little contrived, and I'm not saying that it isn't, but the story is actually pretty hot. I just finished the first page. I'm waiting to see if there is decent development of the various female characters

 

[pulpmanuel]

Laura was the only person in the story that seemed to have a personality. Not that erotica needs to be heavy on character development, but I kind of lost track of which woman was which amidst all the licking.

 

[azrael13]

Thank you for your input. I sincerely appreciate it. Sometimes when I write I feel as though I spend too much time on the details and I just need to get to the story. It is good to hear the flip side. I will work on giving my characters a bit more depth.

Thanks again!