a little help please?

[spiraldragon]

Hi,

I'm a 21yr old woman with a high libido who LOVES sex, who has a gorgeous bf i've been seeing for 5 months who i love dearly, but who's never been able to orgasm... either through foreplay, intercourse or masturbation (even when I do it alone by myself). I'm completely comfortable with sex and can't get enough of it, same as my bf... He's very patient and loving, and we try new things and talk and explore, but I still can't seem to orgasm. We've tried lots of things and varied ways of touching etc but nothing seems to work... I still love it though. I've come close a few times but it seems any time i get close enough... i can't take the feelings anymore and have to stop cause i feel too sensitive. It's REALLY, REALLY frustrating me, and although i love sex and really enjoy giving my bf so much pleasure, I can't help but feel a little jealous that I can't experience such wonderful feelings for myself.

Does anyone have any ideas to help me out? Or perhaps have some experiences to share..? Any hope for me?

I heard at least 1 in 10 women don't orgasm. It's unfair! I'm feeling very bitter towards whoever designed women...


Thanks

 

[fgarvb1]

Being a man i can't be of much help.

The last woman I met who was in that condition I changed her mind after an hour or so in a hospital restroom.

What i'm trying to say is this. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

The female of or species can be quite good at putting up mental blocks and barriers for themselves.

For some reason i don't understand they are real good at doing with people they love.

I am sure some of our ladies here will have more of an helpful insight on this subject.

Good luck and may the big "O" find you soon!

 

[WhisperHaven]

Are you taking any medications? Like Etoile mentioned in another thread, antidepressants don't necessarily inhibit sex drive, but they can inhibit the ability to have an orgasm. I know I sometimes have difficulty having orgasms since I started taking prozac.

You also might want to have a physical exam and talk it over with your doctor. Maybe there is a physical issue that needs to be addressed.

Good luck.

 

[Color Me Crazy]

You could always call the "Sunday Night Sex Show" and see what that little old woman has to say on the matter.

::Snickers.::

But really, I don't know what advice to offer. Personally, I can't orgasm when I'm using my fingers. Don't know why, I just can't. Some people can't orgasm when they're using toys. Some people can only cum when they're actually being penetrated. Some when they're having their clit sucked on. What I'm saying is that everyone is different. While I may not be able to produce O's with my fingers because of some mental block that I'm completely unaware of, maybe you have some sort of mental block up that you're completely unaware of. Or maybe you just need a long break from sex, and when you come back your libido will be in full gear and ready go. Perhaps all you need is some anal sex! Who knows?

If you have, however, tried everything, you may want to visit your physician's office. After that, if you still can't get one to happen, maybe you should sit down for a while and think about what could emotionally be stopping anything from happening. If you still can't come up with anything, how about learning about meditation? Tantric sex? Even hypnosis. It sounds like you're all about pleasure, which is totally cool, so don't just limit yourself to physical stuff. Sex involves your mind, too. Once you get the floodgates open up in the attic, I'm sure they'll open up down below, too.

Good luck! And sorry I didn't have any direct, sure-fire advice.

 

[Leda]

I dont have any advice to give u , unfortunatly but I just want to say u are not alone in how u feel spiraldragon . I have the same problem as well. I have never orgasmed either. I love sex as well and i have no problems with it , no bad experiences or anything and i dont think i have any physical problems as sex etc is very pleasureable. But like you i cant oragsm either with my boyfriend or on my own. I get very close and feel lots of pleasure but there seems to be a hurdle that I just cant get over something stopping getting to that final point. I just get too sensetive to be touched so much that either I or my boyfriend has to stop. Unfortuantly i cant practise alot with my boyf as we are in a long distance relationship and he is over 1000 miles away but it would be good to have ideas in mind for next time i see him.

I hope other people can give some more advice as i am also very interested in hearing it as well.

 

[Ts Jack]

Many medications, especially those for the treatment of blood pressure, depression, and, in some cases, "over the counter" pain and cold relief can cause erectile or orgasmic dysfunction at times.

However, the most common reason is between your ears. The thought of "giving" yourself fully, even though you love sex, is a big hurdle. The only things I've heard for this are relaxation, environmental change and mood monitoring.

My ex-wife had the same problem. We solved that by going away for a long weekend to a very romantic place and bingo!

Unfortunately, she loved the orgasm so much she had to try it with everyone she knew. But, oh well...

 

[DuckLover]

Persistance...

Many women on this and similar threads have mentioned coming close but then being too sensitive to be touched. When you get oversensitive, do you just stop? I've found that my partners get supersensitive right after orgasm and generally can't take much direct touching. However, if I back off a bit, I can keep touching them in arousing ways, keeping them very turned on, and bringing them to the point of being ready for another much more quickly.

When you reach that supersensitive point, perhaps ask your partner to just back off a bit. If s/he is rubbing your clit, have them instead focus on stroking and massaging the rest of your pussy and inner thighs, sucking your nipples, kissing you, etc. It will hopefully let you come down a little without breaking the mood at all. Some people require a lot of build-up, especially for their first orgasm. If your partner backs of for a bit, then takes the intensity back up, possibly repeating the cycle a few time, you may find that you spontaneously orgasm. And even if you don't, it'll still feel great!!

 

[spiraldragon]

Thanks everybody for your help here, it really is very much appreciated! I forgot all about this post.. (it was ages ago). There were some really good ideas in there, and I'm relieved to hear that I am not an unusual case. I hope the replies helped you out too Leda, and if you work out how to do it let me know! As of yet I still haven't reached that place... but I'm going to try out these ideas and I'll let you know how it goes! Persistance persistance...

Thanks again

 

[yesmanuk2004]

I dont have any advice to give u , unfortunatly but I just want to say u are not alone in how u feel spiraldragon . I have the same problem as well. I have never orgasmed either. I love sex as well and i have no problems with it , no bad experiences or anything and i dont think i have any physical problems as sex etc is very pleasureable. But like you i cant oragsm either with my boyfriend or on my own. I get very close and feel lots of pleasure but there seems to be a hurdle that I just cant get over something stopping getting to that final point. I just get too sensetive to be touched so much that either I or my boyfriend has to stop. Unfortuantly i cant practise alot with my boyf as we are in a long distance relationship and he is over 1000 miles away but it would be good to have ideas in mind for next time i see him.

I hope other people can give some more advice as i am also very interested in hearing it as well.

I had a friend with similar sensations, which got in the way of her orgasm. In the end we resolved it - by accident actually, with me softly blowing on her down there, the sensation wasn't so as to make it unbearable, but was just enough to take her over the edge.