A little confused

[XXXlindanXXX]

Never have I been more confused about a situation. I'm hoping someone on here can give me some insight.

Let's start off with the fact that I am bi. I've only been with a couple of women. I'm usually dating guys.

I've recently met this girl that I find extremely attractive. I've just had a little trouble determining if she's flirting with me, if she's single, or if she's even into women.

She always smiles when she sees me...it's like her whole face lights up. She always rushes over to help me when she's at work and I see her. She compliments me. One day I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, stopped in on my way home and she was working. She asked if I was alright because I looked like I was feeling down. I couldn't help feeling giddy when I got to my car. Another day I was completely flustered while talking to her and even though I kept getting everything mixed up she followed with no trouble.

One of the things that concerns me is that she has a simple band, really dark metal, that's on her left ring finger. It doesn't look like it would be an engagement or wedding band...but it doesn't exactly give off the single vibe either. I'm not sure how to take it when I consider the whole picture.

Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Tread lightly. She may just be interested in you as a person. If so, just continue to be whom you are. If she is sexually interested in you, she will either eventually say something, or make a discreet pass on you. A word of caution: It is extremely unwise to fuck where you work. And, for God's sake, do not make the first pass.

 

[CJontherocks]

I say if you like her, be her friend. All the questions you have in your head will be most likely be answered as your relationship with her grows.

You can probably ask her about the ring. Since it's such an unusual style to be worn on the "wedding" finger, it wouldn't be a stretch to casually remark on it and allow her to offer the information you seek.

Don't be impatient. If she's not interested in you sexually, then you haven't lost anything. But you may have gained a friend. If she is, then woohoo! You win the bonus prize!

Do be careful about relationships in the workplace. They can lead to trouble in many ways. Not to discourage you... things don't always always go bad.

Good luck!

 

[sassylilthang]

Tread lightly. She may just be interested in you as a person. If so, just continue to be whom you are. If she is sexually interested in you, she will either eventually say something, or make a discreet pass on you. A word of caution: It is extremely unwise to fuck where you work. And, for God's sake, do not make the first pass.

I agree with experiencedguy, be careful about a work relationship. I personally have never done this. But ended up in the middle of 2 people that did.....lost a job I loved, and nearly my career.

I understand what you are going through.....I have been in the same situation several times with women. Be patient.....even though it can be very hard.

 

[Etoile]

I didn't get the impression that they work together. Sounds like the girl works in a bar or restaurant or something like that.

 

[sassylilthang]

I didn't get the impression that they work together. Sounds like the girl works in a bar or restaurant or something like that.

Good point, once I re read that......I can see what you mean.

 

[sows_ear]

A lot of good points here.
I'd ask about the ring. Compliment her on it and then you are open to find out more. often I wear my mom's wedding ring on my finger to put off the guys. Ask her out socially, get to where you can get some quality talk time.
Please keep us posted as to how it goes..
-trish

 

[XXXlindanXXX]

I don't work with her...just to put that out there. Actually found out today that she is bi. Also found out that she was engaged this morning...but when I saw her this evening the ring was gone.

I am going to take the slowly and try to process everything...especiallys since I'm not confused about her actually relationship status. Which is now the main thing I'm worried about as things develop.

She did however compliment me a lot today and flirt a little. I'm also feeling more relaxed knowing that she is bi, so it doesn't feel awkward to flirt. The nervousness is gone.

 

[CJontherocks]

Well now you got me all nervous and excited for you.

And did you ask her why she's not wearing that lovely ring any more?

I'm cheering for you. Wishing you good luck!

 

[sows_ear]

I don't work with her...just to put that out there. Actually found out today that she is bi. Also found out that she was engaged this morning...but when I saw her this evening the ring was gone.

I am going to take the slowly and try to process everything...especiallys since I'm not confused about her actually relationship status. Which is now the main thing I'm worried about as things develop.

She did however compliment me a lot today and flirt a little. I'm also feeling more relaxed knowing that she is bi, so it doesn't feel awkward to flirt. The nervousness is gone.

Sounds like it is all falling into place. i'm optimistic, good things happen ;-)

 

[XXXlindanXXX]

I forgot to ask her about the ring when I saw her today...or to even check for it.

She pretty much had me strip down enough so she could see my new shirt. She thinks it's awesome.

I'm really started to feel more and more optimistic each time I see her. I'm debating if I want to step up the flirting a little bit or not. Usually I don't notice when I'm flirting, but I'm more conscious of it when I'm talking with females as opposed to guys.

 

[XXXlindanXXX]

Update!!!

I finally got brave enough to send her a friend request on facebook. She did accept it. So we've been able to talk more now. I was unsure of whether or not she was bi or anything until she added me. It was at this time I also noticed she was engaged. I had never thought much about the ring she wore on her left hand since it didn't look like an engagement ring. A couple days later when I saw her I noticed she was no longer wearing her ring.

The other night she was the only employee working because it was almost closing time when I went in. We talked and this time she was all flustered and mixing words around, which I thought was adorable. In talking to her more outside of her work environment she's also encouraged me to sketch more since we're both into art. Which I have started to do again.

A couple nights ago I was talking to her about how I've started sketching again and how other people are encouraging me to do it more too. She was being sweet the whole time and telling me how talented I am. (I posted some of the sketches for people to see online) When she was ready to sign off she told me that she was going to watch a movie with the bf (her profile still says they're engaged and I haven't noticed the ring reappear). She also added "love ya and have a good night".

I had one of my best friends sign into my facebook account so they could check out her profile to see what she thought. She's come to the conclusion that this engagement is a farce. That she's full on lesbian rather than bi. Also thinks the girl loves me. Started out as just really likes me due to her posting about her vagina more on fb and being online more since adding me. The friend coming to these conclusions is however straight, so I'm unsure of how valid her opinion is in this situation.

I would love insight from others on what they think about it, or what they think I should do. This is the first time I've been able to see myself having an actual relationship with a girl rather than a fling.

 

[CNYCarol]

I would love insight from others on what they think about it, or what they think I should do. This is the first time I've been able to see myself having an actual relationship with a girl rather than a fling.

Lindan, relax she's no different than anyone else you've dated, except she probably likes "flowers" more than "tractor pulls".

Lead or follow, whichever you are most comfy with. Don't be afraid to actively make a pass at her, but you may want to do it in private as I'm not getting the feeling that she's out, and if you out her even accidentally, you may well destroy her feelings for you.

I envy you, first fumblings are precious!

If you want her, fight for her. The battle doesn't end until she says "I Do", to someone!

 

[XXXlindanXXX]

Lindan, relax she's no different than anyone else you've dated, except she probably likes "flowers" more than "tractor pulls".

Lead or follow, whichever you are most comfy with. Don't be afraid to actively make a pass at her, but you may want to do it in private as I'm not getting the feeling that she's out, and if you out her even accidentally, you may well destroy her feelings for you.

I envy you, first fumblings are precious!

If you want her, fight for her. The battle doesn't end until she says "I Do", to someone!

I'll flirt with her a bit but I try not to when a bunch of people are around just because I feel weird about that.

I just found out yesterday that her fiance got a tattoo of her name. So now I'm just like waiting lol.

 

[XXXlindanXXX]

She totally made me blush today.

I asked her if she would design a sugar skull tattoo for me because I suck at doing skulls. She said yes because she loves doing sugar skulls. I explained to her I thought it would be a good tattoo for me since I'm part Mexican (I know I don't look like it). Her exact response was "lol mexican sutff makes me excited. i love mexicans lol" I got this goofy grin and started giggling. I could totally feel my face getting hot.