A little advice.

[LittleRedDevil]

I have a moral delema.


I know a guy. He's sweet and funny and gentle, and he makes me feel alive. I love talking to him, and I love flirting with him. He wants it to be more, and so do I, even though I haven't told him that.

So, here's the delema.

I'm 20 and he's 17. He'll be 18 in August, and will only be a senior in high school.

Should I wait until he's 18? If I wait will I lose him? I'm so confused! *ARG*

 

[Opium]

You should do what is in your hearts. If the love is true between you both the age difference will not be a issue. Remember often men of 50 take girls as young as 18 to be their wives. It can work at any age level if the love is true. Good luck and best wishes for a healthy and prosperous future together.

 

[Weird Harold]

He'll be 18 in August, ...

Should I wait until he's 18? If I wait will I lose him? I'm so confused! *ARG*

If you promise him an 18th birthday present he'll never forget, Then spend the next six months teasing and planning, I think you can probably keep his attention.

 

[Jade]

I am with WH on this one

 

[LittleRedDevil]

I'm afraid he'll think I'm playing games with him.

 

[Rando]

do it

If you want to do it, DO IT. If you want to wait, WAIT.
You make the call. Put HEART, MIND, BODY, and SOUL into
the decision making, and go with it.

 

[His Whimsicality]

Why not? It seems to work the other way round too. Just talk to him (or let things happen *g*)

BTW: Does the law allow intercourse between the two of you? Petting? (I´m not from the U.S.)

 

[Todd]

But I told you I was 25 and graduated school and college

 

[Weird Harold]

I'm afraid he'll think I'm playing games with him.

That's why I said "promise him."

Tell him explicitly when and what you're going to do. (you might explain that you have an aversion to forced relationships with cellmates as the reason for the delay. )

If he knows that all of the teasing is going to be resolved on his birthday, he'll play along. Get him to think of it as six-months of foreplay, although it really is "playing games with him."

Do things like taking him shopping to pick out the lingerie for the big night, Visiting an online toy store to pick out accessories, Sharing stories you like to give him an idea of what to expect, etc.

Present it right, and he's going to drown you in cum on his birthday. It will take a week of bed rest before you can walk right again.

On the other hand, you can spend the next six-months looking over your shoulder for his parents and the cops while indulging in furtive quickies.

 

[Siren]

Bravo Weird Harold

 

[LittleRedDevil]

Thank you for the advice. I'll see what I can do.

 

[TonyG]

I would have said the same thing as Harold. Flirting is one thing with an underaged person but when you add real sex it becomes a matter of law. Some states you can get into a hell of a lot of trouble, and should you go out of state and get caught; even bigger trouble.

Tease him until 18 then please him.

 

[LittleRedDevil]

Okay, so I tease him until he's 18.

Harold had some great ideas, any others? What gets you hot under the collar?

or

Ladies, what do you do to tease him?

 

[Thumper]

He's 17..almost 18

Just breathe LRH...just breathe. That will do it enough..

 

[Beebeeblue]

OK LRD: When I was 22 I met a wonderful guy who at the time was 17. We would sit up for hours and talk on the phone and the computer at nite. Date Him? I didnt dream of it. But he was a good friend.

He graduated a year early, and he turned 18 soon enuff. By that time I made up my mind that "WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT ANYONE THINKS?!?!?!" He's 18, and I was well over the legal age limit. And we had a great relationship. I only broke it off because I wanted to move home, and dont do the long-distance thing.

Now? Im 29, and my hubby will be 26 in April. No I didnt make it a habit to date younger guys. Actually, I lived 3 yrs with a guy 17 yrs older than me.

Just remember: Variety is the spice of life baby!!!!!!

 

[LittleRedDevil]

Thanks you, beebee, that is very encouraging.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

And I'm 21 so whats the deal there, damn I alway miss the good stuff

 

[LittleRedDevil]

He told me he loved me yesterday, but there's one problem.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about him. I care about him, but love? I don't know.

 

[Opium]

For the night itself I have done the following several times with my partner with very pleasing results.

You will need a bag of fresh rose petals, several candles, two bottles of your partners favorite wine or cold beverage, wine cooler with ice in it, 8 tall wine glasses, six pieces of nice note paper and six nice poems or nice things to say to them.

On each piece of paper write a poem or something nice on it for your partner, fill with a mouthful six wine glasses with the wine/beverage chill the other two and the second bottle of wine/beverage place the bottle in the wine cooler in the bedroom or wherever your planning the night to commence in, light several candles all around the house to lighten the way of the rose trail. Trail the rose petals to the destination you wish your partner to end up in with six breaks in the rose petal train, at each break place a wine glass and a note (here I like to put a small piece of fruit and on the bottom of the note suggest what piece of clothing I would like them to remove). I usually have the trail running into the bathroom having a nice warm bath drawn for them with some rosewater essence added. I also decorate the bedroom with candles and rose petals have incense burning and their favorite music playing in the background.

 

[Jade]

NOOOOOO

Please whatever you do... don't play mindgames with him.

All this teasing stuff, it sounds cute and kinky in theory but seriously, in the end, (ESPECIALLY since, as you yourself said, you don't even know whether or not you love him?) you run a greater risk of hurting him in the end.


HTH!

Good luck hon.

 

[Kasha]

oh dear

I was in a similiar predicament. I didn't know if I really like the guy or not and sex really wasn't on our minds...well too much. We hung out all the time and over a while we became the best of friends. I knew that I cared about him and found him a thrill to be around, but up until I had met him I had these horrid boyfriends that only wanted me for sex and so I had what you would call trust issues. Well, since he and I were friends I told him about all that and we became as close as we could be. There were a lot of people telling us that the 2 1/2 year age difference was unacceptable..these people were family (yipe) and "friends" I took a lot of what they said to heart because at the time I had just turned 16 and he was 14. At that age image is everything and I had already had enough to deal with. I didn't realize how trivial all that was until I had to move away and I missed my best friend horribly. Let me back up a sec... before I left we did decide to be together and yea we had lovely relations... (sorry Nutty Prof reference) Anyhow, I moved away from Ca to Tx and I figured that our relationship was over...but surprisingly not. We are now married and have been so for almost 3 years and we will "be together" for almost 9. So, the whle point of this long story is to let you age isn't everything when you feel that certain "spark" with someone...I mean don't go dating kindergarteners...but you know what I mean.....just follow your heart it usually leads you where you need to be.

[Edited by Kasha on 03-01-2001 at 01:13 AM]

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: NOOOOOO

Please whatever you do... don't play mindgames with him.

All this teasing stuff, it sounds cute and kinky in theory but seriously, in the end, (ESPECIALLY since, as you yourself said, you don't even know whether or not you love him?) you run a greater risk of hurting him in the end.

Good point, Jade.

I want to make it clear that I'm NOT suggesting she "play mind games" with him.

I'm suggesting that she make a promise or commitment for a specific time and use the teasing and planning to enhance the experience when she fulfills that promise.

Given the legal issue of his age, it's more like promising him that he can drive her Porsche when he gets his license than it is "teasing" or "mind games"

It is important that the situation not deteriorate into "mind games" and that both people understand the situation. They have to communicate.

As far as him being "in love" with her, that's a common reaction in boys his age, especially virgins his age. He needs to hear "I'm not in love with you, but I do like you a lot" and get over it.

There are a lot of relationships that stall or break up at this point where "love" is confused with "lust" on one persons part. If he gets past that confusion, real "love" may or may not develop for both of them.

Six months of anticipation without consumation is a better test of his "love" than indulging his hormones right away. It will give both of them a chance to develop the relationship on non-sexual grounds and find out just how well they really feel about each other.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

WH Frightening!

In your insightfulness(sp?).

Very wise advice that should be heeded.

But frightening (I didn't know I had ever spoken to you about my early years !)

 

[Weird Harold]

But frightening (I didn't know I had ever spoken to you about my early years !)

Actually drawn from MY early years. It's nice to know I'm not that far from the norm after all.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Edge of Seventeen

you know something Devil dear? i guess i am not too clear on something ... is your 17 year old friend a virgin or not? ... cause well if he is not ... why wait?

btw i lost it at 17 ... is there a difference for males or females in that respect ... i don't think so ...

sooooooo luv .... go for it IMHO ...

but that pesky "love" thing could be a problem ... you do not want to lead him on that way for sure if it is not what you want ...
______________________________
He was no more than a baby then
Well he seemed broken hearted...
something within him
But the moment that I first laid
Eyes on him all alone ...
On the edge of...seventeen
~Stevie Nicks~