a list of requirements.

[dolf]

dom/mes, what do you list upfront as basic requirements you expect of a sub?

subs, what requirements have been put to you by potential tops?

i've found that more than half {of those looking for the 24/7 ltr} say they would expect their sub to bear them a child or two...i guess they're getting to that age when it's on their minds.

one said he expected his sub to get pierced & inked with his mark.

i've heard of a few that either wanted high heels or bare feet whenever possible.

gimme more!

 

[CutieMouse]

Herm... all I can offer is the things J and I sorted out while I was visiting, which is more detailed than you probably want, but covers a lot of the silly nuances that make up the D/s thing we do. I'm not sure I could narrow it down to just the "biggies", because so much of what make us work so well are the stupid little things.

*be the best possbile person I can be
*always always always tell him what I'm thinking
*believe in myself
*perfectly made coffee every morning
*wake him up with back scratches
*he never has to ask twice for a drink/snack/etc
*if he has a drink, he never has to ask for a refill
*seed his watermellon LOL
*serve him first at meals (unless we have company, then serve company first)
*keep the kitchen stocked with fresh baked cookies
*design a menu book of 100 healthy, balanced meals (50% for 2 / 50% for 4-6) so he can choose what we have when we dine at home
*no bra/panties (duh LOL)
*skirts are prefered to pants or shorts
*sex is a "feed on demand" issue LOL
*drop @15#
*work with a personal trainer once I've relocated to improve my strength/health
*he's still convinced I'll be getting a tummy tuck at some point (to correct the effects of 5 pregnancies - that one is still being discussed), as he's a bikini guy... I'm so not a bikini girl, even when I'm thin.
*gradually take over the management of the household staff
*help him keep track of his business obligations
*be gracious, charming & witty
*be a good hostess when company is over
*barefoot in the house
*stilettos/dressed to the 9s when we're out
*trust him and be adventurous (SCUBA, etc)
*learn tennis so we can play doubles on Sundays
*be a wise advisor/companion; have enough common sense to help him work through business decisions
*accept his closest friends are staying in his life
*never ever leave the refrigerator door open, walk through the house with food, or forget to turn the water-cooler motor off if the jug runs empty
*remember to take time for myself
*if we are near each other, touch him (even if it's just a hand on his arm)
*keep my left hand in his lap when he drives
*hold hands when we're running errands
*my feet belong in his lap if we're sitting across from one another
*women never ever EVER carry anything over 5#
*never do the housekeeper's job
*treat everyone with kindness
*trust him to protect me and provide a safe haven
*let him deal with the hard shit
*remember that he might hurt me, but he'll never harm me

 

[HottieMama]

Skirts/dresses at all times in public.
Nails always polished in an appropriate shade.
Grow the hair on my head and keep everything else bare.
Heels as much as possible. (One that i am still learning, because i have NEVER worn heels for more than weddings or funerals.)

There have been/are others, but these are the ones i am comfortable sharing. (i did not include a list of emotional ones like Cutie. Sorry.) Once i am in a relationship with some one, i don't find requirements to be a bad thing. In fact, i quite like the ones i have now. However, the "Doms" that tried to impose "rules" when we first started chatting were the ones i ran from.

 

[dolf]

Herm... all I can offer is the things J and I sorted out while I was visiting, which is more detailed than you probably want, but covers a lot of the silly nuances that make up the D/s thing we do. I'm not sure I could narrow it down to just the "biggies", because so much of what make us work so well are the stupid little things.

that's pretty cool.
you know exactly where you stand and what's expected of you.

 

[CutieMouse]

that's pretty cool.
you know exactly where you stand and what's expected of you.

That's it exactly. It works for us (in part) because 90% of his "requirements" are the sorts of things I've always done/he's always expected, that went unappreciated in my past relationships, and got him labeled as high maintinence and difficult in his past relationships.

 

[dolf]

Skirts/dresses at all times in public.
Nails always polished in an appropriate shade.
Grow the hair on my head and keep everything else bare.
Heels as much as possible. (One that i am still learning, because i have NEVER worn heels for more than weddings or funerals.)

these seem pretty popular

 

[ecstaticsub]

The only truly basic requirements my Daddy has are honesty, loyality and immediate obedience--always and without fail.

Other than that the others are add ons--

--soft feet, well pedicured toes
--heels and NO pants when we are together
--be available when he needs me

 

[graceanne]

Ok, I had to think on this. LOL I know their's requirements, but we haven't really ever put them out clearly.

I'm required to get up with the kids in the middle of the night.
Run the errands, and deal with any neighbor upsets.
Get kids from school and run them to the misc. stuff
Make the bed for his picky-ness
Proof read his homework
Deal with all the family negotiations
Keep his nails clipped
Get the kids dressed in the morning, and groomed
Keep up the laundry
Try to keep up on the rest of the house
Do the filing, budgeting and pay the bills
Take my meds and eat (this is the hardest one)

Oh yeah, (duh) and sex on demand - NOT an issue

 

[WriterDom]

No bras in a private setting. No orgasms without asking first. I think the last time I wrote rules out I had about 8 or so. Attitude and service go a long way.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm feeling really self conscious about the awful state of my toes right now. I need a pedicure!

I also have to say that I love the expectation for "a child or two." Ya know. Give or take.

 

[BiBunny]

He expects me to

~Be able to think for myself and solve trivial problems without consulting him
~Speak intelligently when we're talking
~Make most of my decisions for myself, except the Really Big Ones, which, even if we weren't in the type of relationship we're in, I'd run by him, anyway, because I always talk Big Decisions over with the people I care about
~Be myself
~Be there for him when he needs me
~Not be afraid to talk to him or show emotion in front of him (I have a hard time with this one)
~Speak up about what I want/need
~When he tells me to do something, just shut up and do it (He hardly ever pulls rank like this. We're probably the most democratic D/s couple ever. But I know that on the rare occasion that he does, it's absolutely imperative that I comply.)
~Being his friend and lover always take precedence over being his submissive

I expect him to

~Listen to me when I want to talk
~Give me free rein to voice my opinion (He can do what he wants with the information, but he has to give me a chance to say what I think.)
~Give me input when I'm struggling with something
~Give me attention when I start feeling neglected
~Be my friend and lover before being my dominant

Basically, these things also mirror the way I'd conduct myself in a relationship with a submissive, too. I'm just not hardcore.

 

[Kylan]

Absolute trust.

Essa is not permitted to put her needs before mine. She is here to see to my needs, and in return I shall see to hers.

I trust her to do this and she trusts me to do the same.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm feeling really self conscious about the awful state of my toes right now. I need a pedicure!

I also have to say that I love the expectation for "a child or two." Ya know. Give or take.

That reminds me of the guy who answered my ad, who wanted to know how I felt about kids. I said "Oh I have five, but they live with their dad." He thought that was wonderful, and assumed it meant I'd be open to having more... he wanted 3-4.

 

[intothewoods]

It's these threads that may me wonder what the hell I am anyway. The list on here that resonates for me is Bunny's, actually. But then again, I know I have a Toppy streak! So maybe that makes sense.

I know I want my primary relationship to be with a Dominant man. I know I want him to dominate me in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom is where it gets tricky. I know I like my men dynamic -- you know, with a strong personality. I know I like a bit of authority - kind of almost the hint that he has the authority is what I want. If I have a list of rules I have to follow - oy vey. I just don't know if I'm up to the task.

Sorry for the hijack. And really, hopefully y'all know by now I'm not judging. If it works for you, wonderful. I'm just struggling to figure out what works for me. And I know I'm still early on in the journey. But it still makes my brain hurt sometimes.

 

[Netzach]

I just play it as it comes. If I find out he likes something, I do it, no need to ask. I groom and dress with his preferences in mind, I meet him at the places he likes and picks, but I also order what he likes if I'm there ahead of time. I don't have rules, I just try to pay attention.

I'm like this in reverse too. If I want something I say it. The things I've said a lot are incorporated into the repetoire. I get my coffee and tea poured for one thing, and my feet played with a lot.

 

[dolf]

I'm feeling really self conscious about the awful state of my toes right now. I need a pedicure!

I also have to say that I love the expectation for "a child or two." Ya know. Give or take.

LOL!

i can understand guys of a certain age getting the paternal urges.
just in d/s he can be a lot more upfront about that desire.

 

[sexycaz22]

It's these threads that may me wonder what the hell I am anyway. The list on here that resonates for me is Bunny's, actually. But then again, I know I have a Toppy streak! So maybe that makes sense.

I know I want my primary relationship to be with a Dominant man. I know I want him to dominate me in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom is where it gets tricky. I know I like my men dynamic -- you know, with a strong personality. I know I like a bit of authority - kind of almost the hint that he has the authority is what I want. If I have a list of rules I have to follow - oy vey. I just don't know if I'm up to the task.

Sorry for the hijack. And really, hopefully y'all know by now I'm not judging. If it works for you, wonderful. I'm just struggling to figure out what works for me. And I know I'm still early on in the journey. But it still makes my brain hurt sometimes.

I am the same! Although, I am VERY new to a D/s aspect, I do have some knowledge of it, even better if I do put it in practice, if you know what I mean.

I am a little unsure about outside the bedroom, too, although there is a NEED where I feel I want to submit to a dom outside the bedroom too, but how deep it goes, I don't know, yet. It will depend on the dom and how we connect with each other. I just hope that I will find a good relationship where the dom will listen to my needs/wants as well as me listening and submitting to his needs/want!

 

[HottieMama]

I am the same! Although, I am VERY new to a D/s aspect, I do have some knowledge of it, even better if I do put it in practice, if you know what I mean.

I am a little unsure about outside the bedroom, too, although there is a NEED where I feel I want to submit to a dom outside the bedroom too, but how deep it goes, I don't know, yet. It will depend on the dom and how we connect with each other. I just hope that I will find a good relationship where the dom will listen to my needs/wants as well as me listening and submitting to his needs/want!

One of the other "requirements" in my relationship is what basically boils down to complete trust. Basically, He always listens to what i want/need and decides what is best for me and how to give it to me. i trust and believe that above all else. Also, i have to trust that He will decide what he needs and how i can give it to him. As long as that honesty is there and those two things are in place, we're just fine.

 

[BiBunny]

It's these threads that may me wonder what the hell I am anyway. The list on here that resonates for me is Bunny's, actually. But then again, I know I have a Toppy streak! So maybe that makes sense.

I know I want my primary relationship to be with a Dominant man. I know I want him to dominate me in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom is where it gets tricky. I know I like my men dynamic -- you know, with a strong personality. I know I like a bit of authority - kind of almost the hint that he has the authority is what I want. If I have a list of rules I have to follow - oy vey. I just don't know if I'm up to the task.

Sorry for the hijack. And really, hopefully y'all know by now I'm not judging. If it works for you, wonderful. I'm just struggling to figure out what works for me. And I know I'm still early on in the journey. But it still makes my brain hurt sometimes.

I've basically given up trying to define myself. B. and I are both switches, so I guess maybe that's where it gets tricky. Most of the time I defer to him. Like, if he REALLY wants to order pizza, and I'd rather have Chinese or something, I'm just going to say, "Go ahead and order the pizza." I just don't care enough to argue about something like that.

On the other hand, if it's something that's really important to me, I will speak up, and I do expect him to take my feelings into account. For example, if B. told me to break up with Kitty or give up my horses, I'd tell him to go straight to hell. (He'd never ask me to do that, but just for the sake of argument.) In our relationship, I have the right to do that.

I get sick, however, of being told that I'm not "really" M/s, or that we're just a kinky couple. No, we don't do 24/7 TPE, but it doesn't make our dynamic any less valid. Just because MY Owner expects me to have a brain and a mouth and to use them whenever I feel it's necessary doesn't mean I'm not really submissive to him. He knows that I've been taking care of myself for 23 years, and he's only owned me for about a year and a half. Because of that, he can't always know what's best for me, and he KNOWS that. I just hate the bullshit subbier-than-thou pissing contests.

/end rant

 

[myinnerslut]

i expect to be trusted, not treated like a four year old, to be protected, not to be told to do something harmful to myself or others, to have a say in things like my health (this is big for me becuase of my bipolar disorder)

the small things expected of me that make our LDR work and remain D/s include wearing my necklace 24/7, journaling punishable offenses, e-mailing him every night about any sexual activity i engaged in that day (masturbating, etc), sending A a picture of everything i wear, eating healthy and taking care of my body, etc

 

[NemoAlia]

I've never been big into requirements, but I dated a guy once who had a pair of real doozies:

1. Thou shalt not tie thine own shoes. (Seriously, even in public.)
2. Thou shalt not wash thyself. (Please? Please, wash my hair?)

 

[MrsMatt]

We do not have any written rules, but after 11 years of marriage, I have made up my own rules/likes/dislikes.
1
Keep his belly full and his balls empty

2
Take care of all domestic duties

3
Never lose my passion for football

4
Hand out time-outs and groundings, he gets to do all the fun things with the kids

5
Dress feminine, but not like a hooker

6
Long hair

7
There is no such thing as too many blowjobs + swallow every drop

8
Proper use of the english language (oh so hard)

9
Never take off my collar aka wedding ring

10 MOST IMPORTANT
Quote:"Never stop loving me!" I won't

 

[dolf]

I get sick, however, of being told that I'm not "really" M/s, or that we're just a kinky couple. No, we don't do 24/7 TPE, but it doesn't make our dynamic any less valid. Just because MY Owner expects me to have a brain and a mouth and to use them whenever I feel it's necessary doesn't mean I'm not really submissive to him. He knows that I've been taking care of myself for 23 years, and he's only owned me for about a year and a half. Because of that, he can't always know what's best for me, and he KNOWS that. I just hate the bullshit subbier-than-thou pissing contests.

/end rant

valid rant. it pisses me off too.

 

[dolf]

I've never been big into requirements, but I dated a guy once who had a pair of real doozies:

1. Thou shalt not tie thine own shoes. (Seriously, even in public.)
2. Thou shalt not wash thyself. (Please? Please, wash my hair?)

urm...i really like those
it's very daddy/girl. always bathing her.

 

[museofdragon]

Only one rule and one requirement in our house.

Rule: What Dragon wants, Dragon gets.

Requirement: i will make his life as easy and happy as possible.

Of course, we have been together for a lot of years to distill it down to that.