a lil help...please?

[ShySouthernBell]

I um...I can't believe I'm doing this. But there are some...things I would like to...explore, I suppose. I sort of stumbled across the "lifestyle" and since, have found myself, inexplicably drawn. Obviously, I'm what you would call a "newbie". I am also incredibly shy, and very...inexperienced. I'm learning that I have...a bit of a, how you say, submissive personality. I've always addressed those around me as "Sir" or "Ma'am". I never truly thought of myself that way, until things started coming together. One plus one is two, and all. I was hoping...that maybe, a man might consider...answering some questions I have? And helping me along the way, to discover some things. I've done quite a bit of research, but I was kind of hoping that I could find someone patient enough to deal with my shyness, to offer a bit of advice? This is so far out of character for me, to make a post like this. But my curiousity has finally gotten the better of me. I can only hope it won't kill the cat. Thank you kindly, for reading.

 

[Nitehawk2Bear]

If I'm not on candid camera I'll bite. Go for it.

 

[Rick345]

Ask your questions and I'll help you if I can...

 

[preciousava]

your questions

I'm a slightly more experienced female sub, though not very much into the lifestyle. If I can be of help or answer any questions let me know!

~Ava~

 

[Nitehawk2Bear]

hey shy

hope i didn't scare u off.

 

[ShySouthernBell]

Lashing OUt

Ok. Nitehawk, I may be a bit....inexperienced. But I am smart enough to know when things are not quite right. Next time you intend NOT to scare a girl off, I highly suggest you don't create threads attacking their personality. That is just a thought. I have not come to this site trying to start anything, I am just curious. I have a lot of questions, and horrible people skills. So why pick on me? Just a thought. I am not trying to be offensive, by any means. But am definately put off with those who play games. If you have an issue with me, or my personality, address ME. NOT the thread. It's mildly irritating.

 

[SilverShamrock]

You'll find all sorts on here, Bell - some trolls, some trollslayers, and some genuinely nice people.

It's just like real life, really, except on Lit you can just put people on ignore and never have to deal with them again. Best of luck in your search, and if you ever feel like a chat with a ... well, I guess you could call me a switch, really - feel free to drop me a line.

Oh, and I'm male. I forget that's not immediately obvious online.

 

[johnnybegood00]

you have questions i may have answers

Hello,
I read your post and am will to help answer your questions. send me a PM and ask me i will do my best to help you.

 

[sir_lancealot]

welcome to lit.

Firstly welcome to lit.. it is always nice to have "newbies" around asking questions.

Most people will help you in here and if you have any questions either pm me or one of the others offering there help. Or post a question and we will answer it honestly .... or as honestly as we can.

Hope you enjoy your time in here and also find the answers to your questions.

Sir xxxx

 

[ShySouthernBell]

Questions

1. How does one know if they are submissive or dominant? I have recieved lots of different answers for this, but not many seem to be fully committed into the "lifestyle" or are just looking to get their rocks off.
2. I was told I am a "natural submissive" but I have no idea what it means. I got one answer that said that I just liked being told what to do, but it doesn't sound right.

There are more, but those are starters.

 

[Moleculor]

You know if you're dominant or submissive by putting yourself into a position of dominance or submission, acting it out, and seeing if you enjoy it. (The second half of your first question implies that you actually meant to ask how does one know if someone else is dom/sub, and the answer to that is simply: "You don't". Instead of looking to see if their label fits your label, you get together, do stuff, and if you both enjoy it, hurrah, you fit. A simple dom/sub label is never enough to ensure compatibility, because there are dozens of variations on the roles, from sexual to service, from violent to calm, from rare to 24/7.)

You're a "natural submissive" in that people mistakenly believe that some folk are 'born' submissive or dominant, or they mean to say you have a submissive demeanor (i.e. being submissive seems to come naturally to you). One of the two.

(I did offer to answer questions in a PM. )

 

[WolfMann63]

Silver put it best, Shy. There are a lot of genuinely nice people here who are willing to answer questions you may have, or give you advice. Unfortunately, just like everywhere else, you occasionally run into a jackass. But on a positive note, there's something to be learned from negative experiences, as well as positive.

 

[ShySouthernBell]

Well thank y'all kindly for your information. I have had overwhelming responses from many, so thank you very much.

 

[Greggschmitt]

teach

Hi, I am Gregg, I would like to answer your questions. Are you experimenting any at all?