A Lesson Learned (Closed to Luna_Wolf72)

[Sasha25]

The fullness of having his fingers in me was breathtaking, like a large toy, but warm and a live and digging into my flesh in a delicious way. I was his, like a puppet writhing with his fingers in me, screaming. Suddenly the world was bright, at the moment of my orgasm, and I blinked, seeing Master Terrence's face before me, smiling, not smug, but knowing, and I screamed louder as my face contorted, the shocks taking my body as I came.

I wanted to squeeze my thighs and hold him inside, to savor the feeling for a long time, but the pleasure did fade, and the fingers were withdrawn. After that, I was quickly, but gentle unbound and as Master Terrence moved away, I could see him taste his fingers. I moaned under my breath. He tasted me. I saw the smile. He liked it. The impulse came to me, to ask if he wanted to take it directly from my my cunt, but I knew the session was over for now. I grasped his hand as he returned and got unsteadily to my feet.

I felt a little shy as I went to get my dress and pulled it on, then turned to face him again, using a quiet voice.

"I enjoyed myself a lot, Sir. I'm so glad you had a wonderful time too. I really hope we can do this again. I promise to tell Lorena so. I just hope that she isn't still angry with me." My last words trailed off. Now that the scene was over, a knot was forming in my stomach at seeing Lorena again. I needed to get through it, to show her that I still loved her wanted her.

I bit myself, turning to the door, then I paused. I hurried up to Master Terrence, lifting so that I could kiss his cheek, and say again, "Thank you, Sir," before hurrying out door.

I practically ran from the club to my car, and immediately got out my phone. Forgetting all fear, all tension, I dialed Lorena's number, hoping she would answer.

"Please answer, please, Lorena." I said out loud in the car, my hand shaking.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Dreaming. I am dreaming. The colors are bright, the noise is muted. I can see Amanda, her back turned toward me, kneeling at someone else's feet. She is talking but I can't hear her. So I know this is a dream. Yet, there is a ringing in my ear. Ringing. High pitched. Ringing.

My eyes open and look toward the phone which is ringing, loudly. Amanda? The thought comes, goes. I feel confused. Why am I on the couch? Memory hits. I had been watching television, trying to keep my mind off of Amanda and T. I guessed that I had dozed off.

Eventually, the phone stops. I swing my legs around and sit up. 'Get up. Go check the phone...see who it was.' I stand up, stretch and move towards the phone, hand smoothing stray hairs away from my face. My eyes check the caller ID. It was Amanda. With no thought, I snatched the phone from the cradle and put the hand set to my ear. Fingers punched her phone number and I breathed, heavily.

"Please pick up...."

The phone rang, once, twice...and then I heard her voice.

"Hello poppet. I hope you are doing alright. Did you need me for anything?"

My fingers twisted in the phone's cord as I waited her answer. I had never felt so worried, so scared, in all my life. I wasn't sure what she was calling for...or even if she had meant to call me. 'Please, don't let me cry...'

 

[Sasha25]

She didn't pick up. I dropped my phone into my lap and the tears flooded my eyes. She probably saw it was me and didn't want to talk to me. I turned the key and the car started, and I almost missed the ring. I stared down at the phone. Lorena. The vibrations were strong enough that I felt it against my sensitive sex. I cried and laughed at the same time. She was pleasing me even now.

I picked it up and answered.

"Hello poppet. I hope you are doing alright. Did you need me for anything?"

Her voice, smooth, cool, husky, chocolate. Home.

"Lorena. I really need to see you, I learned somethings about what I need, what I want, and we need to talk about them. I need you. I want to see you at my place though. We've done so much at your place, but I need you in my space too. Will you please come? I need a little time to clean up and shower, but please come over."

I know it came off sounding a little desperate, but honestly, I was. I was desperate for her arms around me, to let me vent, to explain to her what I knew I needed.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

"Lorena. I really need to see you, I learned somethings about what I need, what I want, and we need to talk about them. I need you. I want to see you at my place though. We've done so much at your place, but I need you in my space too. Will you please come? I need a little time to clean up and shower, but please come over."


Her words soothed me. I forgot the cause of our argument. I forgot everything that had occurred in the past few days. All I wanted was to see her. It was odd, though, her telling me to come to her house. I wondered why she needed me to come to her. Was it because my house held too many memories? It hit me then that I hadn't really said anything back to her, so I opened my mouth and spoke.

"Sure, baby girl, I can come over. Will be there in an hour, OK?"

Once we hung up, I went upstairs and hopped into the shower. I didn't believe that we would do anything, not tonight. The thought of touching her after she had went off with T was more than I could comfortably handle. I was terrified that I would hurt her.
Jealousy. It was scary.

So I dried off and slipped into some comfortable night clothes~drawstring pants, a sports bra, a wife beater. After applying some lotion to hands, feet, arms and chest, I slipped into a pair of slippers and walked back downstairs. My eyes focused on the clock and I waited impatiently for time to pass.

Eventually, I got up, grabbed my house and car keys and headed out. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled up to a spot in front of Amanda's building. My heart pounded. Anticipation? Worry? Who knew? Not me. I slid from the car, locked it and walked to the door. A few minutes later, I was at her door. I knocked and waited for her answer.

 

[Sasha25]

Breathing a sigh of relief, I drove quickly home, tossed my purse aside, shoes off, dress in the hamper and got into the shower. I made it almost uncomfortably hot, and scrubbed hard, washed my hair, trying my best to make my body look and smell as though it hadn't been touched at all that day. I was nervous that I should have waited until the next day to call Lorena, but the deed was done, she was coming over.

Naked and still wet, I went around the apartment to clean. I thought back and she hadn't been over since she had picked up some of my things for me, as I cleaned her house. I wanted to make a good impression, showing her I kept my own space neat and tidy, but more than anything, I need her here, with me, arms around me, telling me that she loved me, still cared, still needed me.

I tried hard to forget Master Terrence, that he had made me cum, that he had made me want to be with him again. Despite all that, I could do without him. I didn't think that I could do without Lorena.

When the apartment seemed in order, I checked and had 10 minutes to spare. I brushed out my hair quickly and pulled on a simple white, satin gown. I sat down on the couch and waited, an eternity that only lasted about 3 minutes. I heard the knock and rushed to the door, filled with fear and need, turning the handle.

Lorena. I looked down, she looked at me, and there was tension. My lips were parted, and I froze. Her eyes were so warm looking, but I couldn't read them. I wanted her to make the first move. Then I thought something else. She had done everything, made all the moves, pushed, pulled, guided, commanded. I had taken the step out and met with Master Terrence.

I had to seal the circle. I wrapped her in my arms, pulling her against me, starting to cry.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

"Oh no! What happened??"

My thoughts went unspoken. I had an armful of my poppet and I couldn't ask for anything else, not even an explanation. So instead of talking, I stepped inside and kicked her door closed with one slipper shod foot. Then, I scooped her up and headed for the living room and the comfort of a chair, someplace where she could cry it out in peace. In security.

I inhaled her scent as I stroked her back, her thigh, an arm. Her hair was damp, her body smelled of water and soap. I knew that she had tried to wash away the sense of being elsewhere, to try and make me more comfortable. I loved her for that. Finally, when the crying had slowed, I spoke.

"Shhh, my heart, my pretty. Don't cry. Talk to me. We are here and we are okay. Shhh. Don't cry."

My lips touched her forehead, her temple, her nose. I felt contented. Even knowing that we were moving into murky waters, even knowing that I might have to let her go, some day. I felt replete. I was here and she was with me...and that is all I needed.

"Talk to me, love. I promise, I won't say a word til you've poured it all out. That's what I am here for...to help."

 

[Sasha25]

Her embrace, her words, her kisses told me everything that I needed to know. That regardless of what I said, of the things that I was feeling, that everything, ultimately would be okay. I felt already as if i had passed through one fire today, and now I had to go through another. I had to tell her. Not all the details, but the revelations I had come to with Master Terrence, but the good and the bad.

I wiped my eyes, and kissed her lips, savoring that last connection before the words spilled out. I met her eyes, which sparkled. I started from the beginning, though my thoughts were all over the place, back to front, in a mangled ball.

"I missed you the moment I left your place. I did want to take it back, all of it, but since the appointment was made, I felt obligated, and I didn't want to let either of us down. I went, I nearly ran out of the club several times. Once I was inside with Master Terrence, I felt calmed, but at the same time, I wanted you there, even if you ran out again. As much as I felt right being bound, and I did, I admit it, it didn't feel completely right without you.

I do like Master Terrence, I can't deny that either. He is different than you, though I don't feel quite comfortable, and perhaps that added to the excitement."

I shrugged at that point and looked down, afraid of how Lorena would take all this. Some of the thoughts were the same as the first time with him.

"He bound me, like you have, in silk cords, blindfolded. I love that, you know I do. He shocked me with an object. I didn't like that as much. And he allowed me to cum. He asked if I wanted to come to you in that aroused state, but I though you would hate me for it. Letting him build me up and beg you for release. That felt cruel, I couldn't do it. He allowed me to cum, and then I dressed and left. I think I would like to see him again, but not alone. Not ever alone. That was my mistake. I'm so, so sorry for that."

I was babbling, the words coming out quick, almost slurred. It felt better to get it all out and deal with the consequences after.

"We did talk a little. I mean, I asked questions. He helped me realize that I was basically begging you to tell me what to do, all the time, and that's unfair. I need to do more, engage you more, perhaps talk a little more and not just be a slave to you. You said as much, but I needed to be with someone like him to realize that being a slave isn't what I want. I need a lover as much as a Top, even if the regular lover part is rare.

If we both play with others, I can be happy as long as it helps us grow. If you play, I'll be jealous, but that is a part of this, I realize. If we are open with each other, to a point, I have to get past those feelings for the sake of you. I know it's easier said than done, since I haven't seen you play with another."

I took a breath, wiping away fresh tears. Her eyes glittered, but even this close I couldn't tell if it was the light or it was tears.

"I realize that I need YOU. Not what you do with me or for me, it's YOU. Lorena that I need. I love you."

I ended abruptly, having spoken so much. I hoped it was enough. I felt like I hadn't explained everything properly. I buried my face in her neck and sobbed again, mumbling.

"I asked you here because I wanted to get the evidence of Master Terrence off of me before you came over. I also wanted to show you that I wanted you in my space, my life too, not just the other way around."

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Some of what she told me struck me like a fist. I wanted to cry out at the injustice of her learning anything from him but obviously, I couldn't do that. It would make me a hypocrite and that, I would never be. It hurt me to know she had gotten any pleasure from him and yet, I couldn't deny the obvious truth. I had set her up for this and I knew that Terrence would please her, take care of her, listen to her. It was why I had bottomed for him as long as I had. He was GOOD at what he gave, at what he did.

Other things she mentioned made me smile, with relief. She had finally gotten what I had been trying to say. I didn't want a submissive or a slave. I wanted a lover who would give me the gift of her submission as well as the strength of her character. I wanted a partner. Obviously, Amanda saw a difference between the way I ran our lives and the way a Dominant would handle things. The difference was subtle but very real.

Amanda talked for quite a while and I listened. It was a struggle to keep my face expressionless, but I managed. I couldn't control my hands, though, so they constantly stroked her soft skin. The stroking was a reassurance to myself that she was with me, and not to soothe her, though I assume it did. Finally, when her words had ceased, I kissed her forehead. My voice, when I spoke, was soft, husky, slow.

"I am glad that you have learned so much poppet and pleased that you decided to try, on your own. I am also glad that you don't need anyone else. Wanting is to be expected. I want others for play, from time to time, and eventually...you will see the other side of me that doesn't engage when I play with you...that portion that wants to push and push, until the bottom cries, begs, pleads. That portion that won't allow an orgasm, no matter what is promised.

I want you to see me, watch me, so that you can see the difference and KNOW what it is that you give to me that no one else can~peace, fulfillment, contentment. Wanting different things, people? That is human. Keeping your heart just for me? That is divine. My heart is yours...now then, do you want me to hold you until you sleep or do you have other things planned?"

Silence...for just a moment, before I blurt out MY wish.

"I want to hold you as you sleep, poppet. I have missed that...for two days. May I?"

 

[Sasha25]

"I want to hold you as you sleep, poppet. I have missed that...for two days. May I?"

I beamed at her, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep safe and sound and with my head against her chest. I place a soft kiss, brushing lips at first, then parted her lips with my tongue, wanting to taste for a moment. She was my lover, too, and I felt now that I could take such taste, particularly in my apartment, away from the playroom, away from the collar. As she had done, I stroked her dark, smooth skin, exploring. I was exhausted, she was exhausted, I knew, but I needed this, to know what I could do with her.

Finally, knowing there would be other evenings, I got up, forcing myself not to hing about either of us playing with others. That was for tomorrow too. I took her hand and led her back to my bedroom. She had been there, but not with me, and my queen bed seemed suddenly strange with her there. I pulled back the sheets and let Lorena get in first, then I slid in next to her, head on her shoulder, arm over her, suddenly gripping her curved body tightly.

"I love you, Lorena," I said quietly and lifted my head to kiss her lips. I had said so much, but what was really important came down to that. I reached up to brush her cheek, then slide my head down so that my ear was over her heart, nestled in the softness of her breasts.

I hoped that some evenings, she let me hold her, if she wanted it. Another day.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

It was odd, being in her place, her private space. I was so used to sleeping, surrounded by my things, by my scents, that at first I couldn't relax. That faint sense of unease faded, the moment she was near me, cuddled close. THIS is what I had been missing for the past two days. The feeling of contentment. Of peace.

Eventually, sleep took us under her wing and deposited us in the world of unconsciousness. It was dark and warm there. A cocoon for a weary soul. I don't remember much more, except for I had no dreams. Nary a one. All I felt, all I had, was blissful rest. It was enough.

Eyes opened at five thirty without the benefit of an alarm. Wasn't sure if she were up but I knew that I couldn't sleep any longer. I needed the gym, the thrill of lifting and sweating. Sleep would never put me on a completely even keel. I needed the gym to finish the job.

Rolling over, I brushed her hair from her forehead and pressed a light kiss to the skin there. My voice was low as I whispered my intentions into the shell of her ear. Maybe she would awaken, maybe she wouldn't, but I couldn't lay here any longer.

"Tis five thirty, poppet, and I need to go home and change for the gym. If you awaken completely and feel up to it, join me there. If not? I will call you before I go to work." A momentary silence. "I love you."

Finally, I slipped from the warmth of our shared slumber and meandered from the room, adjusting my sleep clothes. Home. Shower. A bit of protein and a run. Then a serious work out. My morning lay before my mind's eye like a fresh map. All I had to do was go.

I went, but the smile never strayed.

 

[Sasha25]

When I woke up to that smooth, beautiful voice, it was like the best alarm in the world. I didn't want to move, but when Lorena got up and prepared to leave. I whispered an, "I love you," to her as she left the room and the apartment, then I got up suddenly, with a spring, and took a very quick hot shower, pulled on workout clothes, and drove to the gym. I waited until I saw Lorena jogging up to get out, and beamed as we walked together into the gym.

It felt right, it felt normal. As we separated, her to do her workout and me to the Zumba class, I winked and blew a kiss. In the class I went to the front, rather than the back of the class. Something had been unblocked inside me. Halfway through the vigorous workout, in the middle of a heavy Latin beat, I understood.

While I had learned so much from Lorena over the last few weeks, about submission, had become a good, willing to learn submissive woman, I had suppressed some of my natural, sexual tendencies. I needed the gentle, soft kisses and caresses, the playful winking, the late-night lovemaking. I had pushed them down, thinking that Lorena only wanted a complete sub, not a submissive lover. I couldn't help but smile, and the class instructor noted it during her encouragement.

I kept the smile on my face all the way into the lobby, finding Lorena again, looking sweaty, exhilarated, and incredibly sexy. I needed to tell her. As we walked towards the door, I touched her arm and leaned in, whispering directly into her ear as the sun shone down on us.

"Do you know how sexy you are?" I firmly gripped her arm to felt the muscles that had just been pushed to their limit. "I love it when you are sweaty, glowing from your workout, your eyes shining. It makes me melt. Literally."

I turned a little, looking right into her eyes, letting her digest that information.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I was happy to see Amanda at the gym. I hadn't thought she would come. I hadn't thought she was ready to get back to our normal schedule. I wanted her to step up and take control of her life~not everything, but most things? Yes. That I wanted. I wanted her to know what she needed and ask for it. So seeing her there, at the gym? It put an even bigger smile on my face.

The work out went quickly and by the time I finished, her Zumba class was on it's last legs. I stopped by the door and waited, watching, for her. She looked so good. Glowing. Smiling. Happy. That pleased me. And then she said something...just one little thing and my face burned. Her hand gripped my upper arm, her voice was a soft whisper in my ear.

"Do you know how sexy you are? I love it when you are sweaty, glowing from your workout, your eyes shining. It makes me melt. Literally."

I had never been so embarrassed nor so hungry, in all my days. I led us outside and walked her to her car, my eyes gleaming up at her. Rising on tip toe, I pushed her backward, pressing my body against her. My mouth found hers for one long, slow, deep...kiss. When I released her, she looked as flushed as I felt.

"Keep that up and neither of us will make it to work, poppet. Call me once you are done for the day...maybe I will bring over some take out and spend some quality time, with you...by the way...have you written any of your discoveries out? You need to. I love you. I will see you later."

I never gave her a chance to speak. Instead, I turned and jogged up the street, my brain buzzing with happiness. Time to go home and get ready for the day. Time to get back to me...and stop worrying about us. It would work out. we would both make sure of it.

 

[Sasha25]

I got exactly what I wanted. A long, deep, body-shaking kiss. I grew hot, beyond the sweat of my work out. I wanted her to turn be around, bend me over the care and... No, I had to put that aside for now. Despite, feeling more free with Lorena, I couldn't be wild, at least not outside like that. I wanted to draw her out, her passion, her love, but not push too far.

"Keep that up and neither of us will make it to work, poppet. Call me once you are done for the day...maybe I will bring over some take out and spend some quality time, with you...by the way...have you written any of your discoveries out? You need to. I love you. I will see you later."

I laughed as she sped away. Again, she didn't let me return her words, but it wasn't necessary, she knew. I showed her in that kiss. I got into my car and gave in to myself, sliding my hand into my panties and fingering myself for a moment. I could do it, right there. It would only take a few moments, thinking about that kiss, about the sweat on Lorena's curves.

No, save it. Tonight she will be over, and we might indulge then. I sped home, showered, dress for work, and arrived with a smile that several coworkers commented on. I heard one of the men whisper that I must have "gotten laid". If he only knew. I worked efficiently, had a short lunch, work even more in the afternoon, and left a little early arriving home around 5. Instead of calling Lorena right away, I got out my journal and spent the next 30 minutes writing feverishly everything that had happened with Master Terrence, and with Lorena the previous evening.

My arousal from the morning had not abated, and living out the previous evening with Master Terrence only served to increase it. I did feel a little concern, as he again would be fueling what might happen with Lorena. I tried not to think about it any more than I needed to. It was truly her that I wanted.

I called Lorena at 5:45, and in her beautiful voice told me she would be over at 7, with dinner, and we would talk and have the previously mentioned "quality time". I went to my bedroom, getting out of my work attire, and I looked at the bed. I hadn't made it in the morning, and starting to neaten the sheets. A scent arose and I paused. Lorena. My bed. I lowered my head to the spot where she had help me and slept and breathed in more deeply. I groan. I loved her, down to the faint scent she had left in my bed. I wanted that every night, in her bed or in mine.

I finished making the bed, with my legs slightly wobbled, then pulled on satin shorts and a camisole. I finished cleaning the apartment and organizing the fridge, and when 7 pm finally arrived, I ran to the door to open it. When she entered, and we kissed, and ate and talked, and I felt like it was a new beginning, that there would be more growth and exploration.

The mistake that I made, weeks before, and proved the old adage true. You should make mistakes, because if you do manage to learn from them, you can be come better, and happier. I had truly found what I needed in Lorena.

End.