A Lesson Learned (Closed to Luna_Wolf72)

[Sasha25]

I learned my lesson. Well, I thought I had learned my lesson. Arrogance can get you into trouble. I had it all worked out in my head. Find a BDSM party, show up, learned and start experiencing the things I had fantasized about for years.

I should have trusted myself, rather than ignored all my better instincts. I had hesitated for years, not trying to get active in "the lifestyle" because I didn't know anyone personally involved. I tried online relationships, but it was never enough. You can be told to smack your own ass a dozen times but it just isn't the same as someone who knows how to do it properly.

I finally decided to seek out someone, a group, SOMETHING, so that fantasy could become reality. My arrogance aside, I knew I was submissive. It wasn't just an itch to scratch, I knew that. I had read stories, looked at website dedicated to those in the lifestyle. When I looked deep inside, submission spoke right to my very being.

That didn't make me an expert, though one evening I decided I knew enough to try, finally, to get involved.

Three hours later, tears streaming down my face, huddled on the front steps of a house, where the sounds of loud music and moaning mixed taught me that I was complete fool. I didn't know anything and having to stand, kneel and crawl in that room full of Dominant people was an emotional slap that I wasn't prepared for.

I tried to ask, but I was hushed. I tried to placate but I was admonished. I tried to get involved but I was pushed away. I was tested and I failed. I couldn't stick it out. I understand on the step that I had failed the tested and that only made me feel more wretched. I thought this lifestyle was what I was meant for. I was wrong.

Back to square one. Back to unsatisfying relationships and sex. Back to being unfulfilled and unhappy. Back to my old life.

I stood up, trying to wipe away tears when I hear the dull thud of boots on the wood of the porch. I felt an aura of someone coming closer, and didn't want to endure anymore so I took off my heels, walking barefoot to the front path, ready to make my way back home.

"Turn around, little one," came the low, husky voice. "You aren't done just yet."

Two instincts hit me, to run and to turn around. I wasn't sure which one would win, but the voice wasn't as harsh as those inside the house, though the huskiness carried confidence and power in spades. I slowly turned around, unaware that the cup of my bra was still exposed fro where my blouse had been tugged aside.

The figure was shorter than me, not surprising since I'm 5'9". It moved gracefully, powerfully, but much of the face and body was obscured by the shadows of the porch. My heart started to pound as I waited, trapped by the voice.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

It was the usual round. Girls begging to be noticed, boys begging to be used. Acting abashed, ashamed. It was an act though, anyone could see it. Even the poseurs that had shown up with their newest little play toys on leads. Submissives, by their very natures, were givers. They didn't, nay couldn't, know how to be any less than open when it came to their needs, their desires. So the false modesty, that playful sense of shame? It palled after watching it for too long.

At least, it had begun to pall for Lorena.The party was just the usual spoon fed pap, with the usual indelicate brutes or the overly sensitive "Oh, how I love and cherish and RESPECT my little poppet" types. This was a normal gathering of a bunch of abnormal wankers and truth be told, Lorena still hadn't figured out why she had bothered to show up or what the reason was for her continued presence. And then, the reason strode almost elegantly through the door.

She was taller than Lorena with gorgeous pale skin and darker shade of blonde hair. The others started in almost at once~prodding, pushing~ telling her to kneel, forcing the poor lost lamb to crawl, to address them as Mistress this or Sir that, to stand and be inspected. They made disparaging remarks about her less than ample bosom, her small hips, her less than womanly curves. They treated her like a commodity, like a piece of meat no one valued. Lorena stayed out of it~watching waiting, measuring. Until the girl gave in, broke and ran.

Well she had to go rescue the woman from herself, didn't she? Lorena slipped outside, through the side entrance and moved silently to the front, her ears sharply attuned for the slight sounds of a woman who felt utterly useless. Her feet made no sound until she stood only a few feet behind the girl. The woman must have heard her and tried to escape from more humiliation. Lorena stopped her with a sentence.

xXx​

"Turn around, little one, you aren't done just yet."

I stepped from the shadows and looked down from my place on the porch. I wasn't very imposing~not in height~barely 5'3", not in weight~a solid 128 pounds, densely muscled. I wasn't beautiful in a classical sense and was dressed in my normal uniform of baggy jeans, white tee, Doc Marten's. I know I looked and moved like a dancer, maybe some sort of fighter, but I wasn't scary. I waited for the woman, the girl, to relax.

"I am Lorena and you tried to sneak in and see where the wild things live. Do you think you are a submissive? What is your name?"

I have always liked my voice. It's husky~velvety. It can either warm a girl or terrify her. I was using my let's be nice to the new subbie voice. I knew the girl was scared. She should be The people inside had been on the scene for a lot of years and they knew fresh meat when they saw it, just as I did. Most of them were not as rude as they seemed, either. Only set in their ways, in their roles. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know the game. She needed someone to teach her.

 

[Sasha25]

Even though the voice wasn't as harsh as those inside the house, I took a step backwards. Then I regretted it at once. If I was here to learn, then I need to take one step forwards and forget this crying for a moment, and learn SOMETHING.

I erased the step back I took and moved forwards again. This woman, her figured was still obscured by darkness. I could only discern that she was shorter than me. Suddenly, she moved in such away that I aw short hair and piercing eyes. I felt like I was skewered on a pike, metaphorically, and found my legs turn to jelly. There was a compulsion to kneel, but I fought it. I didn't want to show weakness. I didn't want to fall apart like I did inside.

If I was to find one to teach and guide me, I had to start on the right foot. I have to say something? Don't I?

"Were you there, inside, watching me do all those things?" I paused. I sound feeble, emotional, wretched, like I felt. Great. "I must have looked so out of place. I shouldn't be here."

I expected admonishment, confirmation. I got neither. I heard only a soft chuckle.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

The girl hadn't answered my question. Instead she worried that I had seen her being put through her paces. I couldn't do ANYTHING but laugh. Poor child. She really had a lot to learn. Hell, she had stuff to unlearn as well. Finally, the laughter faded and I stepped down off the porch~ allowing my feet to guide me to a spot directly before her.

"Yes, I saw. And you looked like a lost little lamb being eyed by a bunch of wolves. After all, that is what you are."

I grew silent, my thoughts whirling. Where the next sentence came from is beyond me. I hadn't known I was going to say it...or offer anything at all. Sometimes, I really worry myself. There should be a lesson in that, maybe even a book. What to do when you start to startle yourself by Lorena Mellott.

"You do know that it is very impolite to not offer your name once someone has given you theirs, right? That isn't just for polite society. Even the wolves in our little corner of the world have some manners. We don't just barge in unannounced."

My head tilted slightly, giving her a thorough once over, not attempting to hide it in ANY way. She was disheveled, her blouse slightly torn, her skirt twisted. Her hair hung loose and her bangs made a serious effort to obscure her eyes. Without thought, my hand reached out and pushed the hair from her face.

"So again, I ask you for your name. And again I ask you~do you believe you are submissive?"

 

[Sasha25]

I messed up again. I couldn't believe it. I should have answered her question but I was wallowing in my own embarrassment.

Stop. Deep breath. It can't get worse. Just answer. She'll let you go and you can go back home and sleep it off.

Oh. God. That touch. She touched my face. It calmed me and scared me too. I still wanted to run away. I didn't want to meet someone in this state. Say something! My thoughts came like sharp stabs, and I trembled rather hard.

She was chastising me, but not in the way that those inside did. She was very right, I should be more polite, introduce myself properly. And a lost lamb? I knew inside that was completely true. Naive, innocent even, and so incredibly out of my element.

"I'm sorry Miss... I mean Lorena. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm... my name is Amanda. Yes, I'm submissive, or I think I am, or want to be. I came here thinking I could find out. But that was stupid. I should have just let it alone."

I stopped talking as she gazed into my eyes. It was a compulsion to stop speaking, as if she thought it and, I understood. That piercing look still came, as if I was transparent, but not hollow. She was seeking ME. So much shorter, yet more powerful and confident, with easy grace. She was the opposite to my gangly, loping, jittery movements. I sighs a deep, embarrassed, despairing sigh. I just wanted to go home, but she was engaging me now and I didn't want to disrespect her.

I waited for a response but she was still just gazing at me, her fingers along my jaw after moving my hair aside. Was I being judged? Was I being prepared for more humiliation? I couldn't tell. In my mind, I was running down the street, turning the corner until my apartment building was in sight and I could go to the safety of my bedroom and cry myself to sleep.

I was standing, my arms wrapped around myself, clutching, protectively. I always did this when I felt trapped. I was closing myself off and I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help my instinct.

Before I could stop myself, I ask in a tiny, mousy voice," Could I go now? I've made such a fool of myself tonight, I just want to go home. I don't live far."

I looked down, unable to meet her eyes anymore, fearing any answer she gave, but if I had allowed myself to let go and see deep inside at the moment, I would have seen there was a little spark of hope, kindled by the touch of fingers moving my hair away from my face.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

"I'm sorry Miss... I mean Lorena. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm... my name is Amanda. Yes, I'm submissive, or I think I am, or want to be. I came here thinking I could find out. But that was stupid. I should have just let it alone."

Her words came all in a rush. So. Amanda. Sweet name. Old fashioned, very shy. Unsure. I correlated the information~plugging it into what I had seen, what I had noticed. She was hesitant about every decision. She had probably spent months deciding on this course of action and it had back fired for her. She was probably going to run away scared and go back to her little vanilla life.

My hand traced the shape of her cheek, her jaw line, her small ear. It wasn't that I was ignoring her. I was thinking. I just wasn't sure what those thoughts were and I never speak unless I know exactly what I should say. It is habit. People always speak before thinking. It is annoying. Her next few words brought my attention back to her face. Not that I hadn't been focused ON her, but my brain sometimes pulls away from the world while I plan.

" Could I go now? I've made such a fool of myself tonight, I just want to go home. I don't live far."

Dropping my hand, I take one step backward and give her a little smile. My words are slow, measured, spoken with no heat at all.

"You may leave. I won't keep you here. As a matter of fact, if you would like, I will walk you home. That way I can tell you just where you went wrong in your experiment. That way, the next time, you will be better prepared."

My head cocks to the left and I await her decision. Obviously, she wants to KNOW. I figure I could teach her the proper etiquette and maybe learn a bit more about her in the process. I am NOT a dominant. I just AM...but usually, submissive women come to me. I don't know why. And I keep them until they need more structure than I am willing to provide. But this one? Shy, unsure? This one might be the kind who delights as much in learning as from the supposed more rigid forms of submission. Only talking to her would tell me that...and THAT would decide whether I offered her more.

 

[Sasha25]

"You may leave. I won't keep you here. As a matter of fact, if you would like, I will walk you home. That way I can tell you just where you went wrong in your experiment. That way, the next time, you will be better prepared."

As her caresses made me shiver, her words washed over me like a warm, ocean wave. I couldn't explain why it felt like that, but the measured, even voice was an immediate comfort after such a horrid experience.

I found that I could meet her eyes again, and this time, I wasn't afraid. Perhaps I should have been. Deep inside was still the impulse to leave quickly, but this woman was offering me the chance to learn something, and I decided to take it.

After taking a few steadying breaths, which allowed me to stop shaking, I responded. Like her, I tried to measure my words carefully, the opposite to what I had done earlier.

"Thank you, Lorena. I would love to know what I did wrong tonight. I do want to learn." I found my voice getting a little choked up with the memory of my blouse getting ripped, but I forced myself to calm again. "You're very kind to walk me home and offer some advice. I can't refuse that."

Lorena felt completely different than any woman I had every met. It had nothing to do with her body shape, her clothes, her eyes, even her touch. There was a self-understand about her that I know I didn't have, but I immediate was jealous of. I guess at her being older, but I didn't know how much. Lorena know who she was. I didn't.

I took a step back and turned to the side, as to allow her to come forwards. I wanted to show her I wanted her to lead, despite the fact that we were going to my apartment building.

Suddenly two people came out from the front door and immediate pushed between us, and walked down the porch steps. I stumbled back against the railing and gripped it for support. The steadiness I had gathered was lost and I found myself sinking to one knee, shaking again. It had just reminded of the rough treatment I had received earlier. It really wasn't my night.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

"Thank you, Lorena. I would love to know what I did wrong tonight. I do want to learn."

Her words were soft, hesitant but I took them in the spirit they were offered. Her next sentence made me smile slightly.

"You're very kind to walk me home and offer some advice. I can't refuse that."

Of course, life doesn't go the way we plan. Especially when you are surrounded by idiots, like the two that came stampeding out of the house and bumped into Amanda without a by your leave. I knew they were a couple~one Top, one bottom. Didn't stop my voice from carrying to their ears.

"I know you know the words~ excuse us. Fucking use them next time."

The Top turned~oh, an old school Domme~ but took one look at my face and smacked her boy upside the head with a muttered word. He then turned and said, "We are very sorry, Lorena."

I waved them off and turned to look at Amanda who seemed to be hanging on to sanity by one single, solitary thread. I went to her and reached down, pulling her to her feet.

"Get up, little one. Let me take you home."

I soon got us both settled and walking toward her apartment building, my own legs keeping time with her longer strides easily, as I am a very fast walker. We had traversed an entire block before I got my thoughts ordered enough to begin an explanation.

"Amanda. You did not mess up by wanting to learn. Your first mistake was coming to a party uninvited. It would have been better had you contacted the party giver and explained that you were interested in seeing what happened at an informal get together. The easiest way to do that would have been to stop by, leaving a note in the mail box with your name and number. "

A pause for breath. Then I continued.

"Another thing you did incorrectly was coming unescorted. It would have been smarter for you to bring someone with you so that you wouldn't have stuck out so badly. You were received the way you were because you didn't follow common sense and good protocol. It was a punishment of sorts for NOT asking permission."

I stopped her then, with one hand to her wrist, turning her toward me. "Do you understand?"

 

[Sasha25]

I listened so intently to her words that I was leaning my head naturally towards her as we walked on the lamp-lit street. I almost missed the right turn onto the street I lived on when she chastized me for coming alone. It did now seem exceedingly reckless to do so, entering a stranger's house, let along a place where I could possibly taken advantage of.

No, that was wrong. Lorena was telling me about etiquette. They had it, Lorena had it, I didn't. At least I didn't have it yet. Perhaps if I listened to Lorena... Perhaps if I could see her beyond this night... Perhaps...

I felt my wrist grabbed, firmly, and my body turned to face her. We stood right under a street lamp and her features were thrown into sharp light, so that I could see the ferocity of her gaze, tinged with softness.

"Do you understand?"

I nodded, but she kept staring as if the nod wasn't nearly enough, so I opened my mouth and croaked,

"Yes, Lorena, I understand. I was foolish. I invaded someone's private party without and invitation and alone. I should have asked, I should have respected, I should have thought a lot more about being a good girl and not about my own desires."

I was rambling, and I knew it, but I wanted to show that I had been paying complete attention and understood. She didn't let go of my wrist right away. We were about 50 feet from my small apartment building, but I made no move to pull my hand away. I wanted to say more, but I couldn't find any words. Her eyes wouldn't let me go, and I found I didn't want them to.

"Would you like to come up to my apartment?" I managed to say after a long, silent moment. It was late enough that there weren't any cars on the road. It was just the two of us standing under the street light.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I had to tilt my head to look into her eyes. The street lamp made them glitter in unexpected ways and it took a moment for me to hear her invitation into her private abode. I thought about it. Deeply. Some of her reaction was the normal thing that happened whenever a female had been taken from a potentially damaging situation. Some of her reaction was to me.

I knew then that I could go upstairs and have my way with her. After all, I am ME. I know ME and I am damned good at what I choose to do. The fact of the matter is that I didn't trust myself NOT to take advantage and what good was being the Top if I didn't keep control of my own wants, my own needs? I shook those thoughts away and released her wrist.

"I will walk you to your door and see you safely inside, but I shall not come up."

A small grin, my eyes gazing steadily into her own. My voice had gotten steadily huskier as I spoke, deepening toward tenor without my noticing. It was my dominant tone.

"Once you are inside of your apartment, you will strip and bathe away the stress of this night. You will lie down and unwind, not allowing your mind to dwell on what you did wrong. In the morning, when you arise, if you want to talk...you will call me and make arrangements to do so. My number is~..."

I gave her the number, twice, waited for a moment and continued on.

"I think you need time alone. And I am a bit overwhelming at first...or so I hear. So do as I ask, please. Now then, where am I taking you?"

I turned us both away from the light and waited for her to show me her apartment building.

 

[Sasha25]

"I will walk you to your door and see you safely inside, but I shall not come up."

I thought I would quail and perhaps even anger at those words, but somehow I knew it wasn't a rejection. Lorena's voice was pitched to soft and low for it to be a rejection. A smile crossed my face when she said next:

"Once you are inside of your apartment, you will strip and bathe away the stress of this night. You will lie down and unwind, not allowing your mind to dwell on what you did wrong. In the morning, when you arise, if you want to talk...you will call me and make arrangements to do so. My number is~..."

I listened to and memorized her number by the time she was finished the second time. I was normally pretty good with numbers, and since this was an important one, I knew I would remember. However, this wasn't a time to be even the smallest part flippant, so I took my clutch, opening it and pulled out a pen, and wrote the number on my wrist, on the tender part. I didn't process at the time that I was surprised to still be holding my clutch after everything that had happened.

"I think you need time alone. And I am a bit overwhelming at first...or so I hear. So do as I ask, please. Now then, where am I taking you?"

"This way, just to that building over there, Lorena." I started to walk in that direction, thinking again on her words. She was completely right, I needed to relax, to cleanse and not make another mistake by bringing her to my bed. I sensed desire on her part, so I knew I would be calling in the morning. The thought of a long soak all of a sudden became the most wonderful idea in the world.

I led Lorena right up to the security door and faced her. I reached out and touched her forearm, whispering," Thank you, Lorena, for walking home, and for my lessons." I put an emphasis on the plural, because she had already taught me several things. I smiled warmly and release her arm. I reached into my clutch for my key, thinking she would be immediately going, but was glad to find she was waiting for me to get safely inside.

I opened the security door, still smiling. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Lorena. Good night."

I turned back once I was safely behind the security door, seeing her smile at me, a brief nod, and she was gone. I slowly walked up the stairs, suddenly feeling exhausted, but knowing I had a task to do.

A task. Bathe, cleanse, sleep. Easy enough, but the meaning wasn't lost on me. I was following a command, and I liked the idea. Opening my apartment door on the second floor, I dropped my clutch on the small table and went with slow steps towards the bathroom. Flipping on the switch, I started pulling off my clothes before turning on the water. I watched as they gathered on the floor, blouse, bra, skirt, panties. I suddenly didn't want to see them every again, and kicked them into the corner.

Lavender. The first thought I had as I turned on the hot water, reaching for the lavender oil, adding just a drop, not wanting to over do it. The scent immediately filled my nose and a sense of calm hit me. I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror just yet, so I turned off the water and suck into the hot water. It was almost too hot, but I think I needed the extra heat to cleanse.

I closed my eyes and tried to wipe my mind clean. It didn't happen completely. The eyes of the women and men inside that dark room came into sharp focus, but almost immediate after came Lorena, and my suddenly tense body relaxed in the tub again. My hands rested on my stomach, and I caressed it lightly. A moment later, or I thought it was a moment later, I jerked and splashed a little water. I must have fallen asleep for a moment. I quickly grabbed my puff and did a perfunctory wash, then slipped out of the tub, wrapped a towel around myself and stumbled into my bedroom.

I didn't normally sleep naked, but I was too tired to redress, so I pulled back the covered, hair damp, skin slightly wet, and pulled the sheet over me, falling into a deep sleep.
*****************

I felt rays of sun hit my face very early, and I awoke, groggily lifting my head. It was only 6:30 on Sunday, I shouldn't be up, I told myself.

I lifted my hand towards my face to push back some hair and saw the smudge of pen on my wrist. I jerked upright and stared at it. Lorena's number! Shit! It was only partially visible.

My mind went into a terrible rewind searching for the rest of the numbers, and found that they were crisp and clear as I heard Lorena's voice speaking them in my head.

I got up and ran, naked to my purse by the front door and grabbed my phone and started to dial, realizing with one number left it was way to early to call. I threw my phone onto the couch and went into the kitchen, a bit angry with myself. I got some cut up fruit and turned on the coffee maker, sitting down at the table and thinking. How long do I wait? Could I seem to eager? Would she be upset if I called her this early?

I picked at my fruit, but couldn't finish, pouring a cup of black coffee and taking it to the couch, staring at my phone. Wait an hour... Wait 30 minutes... don't push her away.

I help my phone, sipped a bit of bitter coffee then, groaned, as I started dialing again and with a trembling finger, pressing "CALL".

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I went back to the party, after I walked her home. Didn't really have a choice. My car was there. And of course, everyone wanted the scoop on her~what I found out, what she had wanted, whether or not she had been someone else's play toy before she had stumbled upon our little get together. I kept my opinion to myself~only telling everyone that she was a newly submissive type who was named Amanda.

Lady M didn't want to let that go. It wasn't enough information for her. She acted as if I owed her something, some bit of lore that would make the girl easier to capture, to tame. So, when I tired of answering the same shit, over and over, I took my leave and headed for the comfort and quiet of my ride. Too many people with opinions. I couldn't stomach the lot of them, not then.

The ride to my house was uneventful and I was in the bed almost as soon as I finished my shower. A moment's pause before sleep, as I wondered if the girl had done as I asked but a brisk head shake dislodged the worry. I knew she had done so. She wanted, needed, someone like me to show her, tell her, things. That thought followed me into the darkness of a well earned rest.

xXx​

The alarm woke me at 5. I rose and dressed for the morning's trip to the gym. By 5:30~ I was jogging down the quiet, side streets leading toward Gold's and plotting my course for the day. I expected the girl to call me when she awakened, if she didn't chicken out. I knew that I had a few hours of work to get finished before I would have any free time, thus the necessity of an early morning work out.

By 7, I was home and stripping for the shower. My phone chose that moment to ring. I gave a slight frown as I glanced at the display screen and saw a number I did not know. It didn't hit me until I was in the middle of scrubbing the dried sweat from my flesh, that the number might have belonged to Amanda. I finished my shower in jig time and wrapped my robe around me, heading back to the kitchen and my cell phone. I picked it up, pushed the button to get the number on screen and hit *CALL*. Silence...for just a moment and then the phone rang.

 

[Sasha25]

One ring, two rings... It continued until I hear the voice mail begin. The soft, huksy voice tell me to leave a message.

"Lorena, it's.. it's Amanda, form last night. I just called to ask to see you again. Please call me when you get this message." I gulp, held on for another second, then ended the call.

I couldn't help feel a little disappointed. She was probably asleep. Nothing to be down about. Or did she see my number and decide to forget about me? My mind works like that all the time. The worst case scenario. She had taught me a lesson and was done with me now.

As I set my phone down on the table, I was suddenly aware that I hadn't dress. I hurried to my bedroom closet, sighing out a t-shirt and a pair of lounge pants, pulling both on and sitting on the edge of my bed, my face in my hands. I had slept about 5 hours and felt distinctly unrested. I was in stupor deep enough that I didn't hear the first ring.

I heard the second ring and I bolt for the kitchen, knocking my elbow on the door way, swearing. I picked up the phone, recognizing the number and answering,

"Hello, I mean good morning, this is Amanda."

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

"Good morning, Amanda. This is Lorena. You called while I was on my way to the shower. I apologize for not answering. How can I help you?"

My voice was quiet, soothing, husky. It isn't like I plan it that way. I just...always sound like that when I speak on the phone. Pulling the robe tighter, I head over to the coffee maker and begin measuring out the fresh ground Columbian dark roast for 2 cups. Then water, through the filter. Once it is all in order, I push the start button and move back to to the kitchen table, sinking into a chair with a little sigh.

"Did you want to meet up today?"

 

[Sasha25]

When I heard her voice, the trembling went out of me and I sat calmly on my couch.

"It's alright, Lorena, I thought I might have called to early and you were asleep. I couldn't seem to wait, though." I giggle nervously. While speaking I found that I was sitting up straight, not slouched, one hand on my lap, the elbow of the hand holding the phone was resting on the table.

"I'd love to meet up today. Where do you suggest I meet you?" A thrill went through me. She wanted to see me again. I half wondered if the excitement I was feeling, showed up in my voice over the phone. My mind wandered immediately to what I should wear today to meet her. Something sexy? Comfortably? Both? I wanted to be perfect for her, even if I knew that was impossible at this moment. I add ed almost as an afterthought,

"I have all day, no other plans. I really want to learn more from you, if you are willing. I do want to learn how to submit, proper manner and etiquette." Then I start to ramble, probably cutting her off.

"I want to give myself to someone. I don't know if I want to be shared or not, it's not something I've really thought of. But belonging to someone, being theirs, caring and loving them."

I stopped myself. I said to much. I get over eager and over share. It's pushed people away before. I went completely silent and turned red, even though she was probably miles away.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I waited until the poor girl wound down. She was hyper, excited, freaked. I could hear all of those emotions in her voice and wanted to soothe her, calm her. Instead of doing so, I waited, letting her spill her guts into her phone, my mouth curved into a delighted grin that I was pleased she couldn't see. Finally, she hushed.

"Amanda? Shhh. Listen. I have work this morning. I won't get off until about 1 o'clock. So what do you say to meeting me at Club Marquis? We can do a late lunch. It is a private club but I am a member and we won't have any trouble getting a table. Not only that but you should see things in a more formal setting and the Club will do for that. Now...think. Is 130 PM ok for you?"

I knew she would say yes. She wanted to see how the other half lived and her introduction hadn't went over so well. It wasn't a surprise at all when she agreed.

"Dress business casual. I would like to see you in white. Any shade of white but with your pale skin I am guessing ivory or cream. Heels, if you please and pull your hair up. The address is 1245 East Cleveland. I expect you to be out front waiting when I get there, ok?"

Another husky yes. I ended the call not long after that and went to get ready for a trip into the office. I knew I wanted to make a lasting impression on the girl so I chose my outfit with care~black dress slacks, a black silk men's button down shirt. My small feet were placed in my favorite pair of loafers. I debated make-up, but I am not a fan of it and decided just eyeliner and mascara, with a touch of clear gloss for my mouth. Hair was short and required nothing but a finger comb and a spritz of spray. I left the house by 9 and was on my way.

Work was busy but I finished everything by 1, just like I had planned. I stopped by the executive wash room and reapplied gloss and fixed my smudged liner. A few moments later, I was out of the building and on my way to the club. I hoped the girl had done as i asked. Her height to my short compact build would be gorgeous. Her paleness to my darkness, her white to my black? We would make a very pretty couple...if she had dressed the way I wanted.

I pulled up to the building at exactly 1:30. I got out of my ride and handed the keys to the valet who waited patiently for them.

"Park it in the shade please."

He nodded and gave me a ticket. I stretched and then began to look for my lunch partner.

 

[Sasha25]

When I finally stopped rambling, I listened, closely as she told me what she had planned, and what I should wear. If it was 24 hours earlier, I would have probably resisted the idea of having my style of clothes, or the color chosen for me, but now..

After my quick, excited and low affirmatives, she hung up and I had more than 5 hours to prepare, then wait. While I loved to dress well and dress up, I never spent hours getting ready for a date. I preferred to find something cute, sexy, or both, tease my hair, put on a little makeup and go out.

This was different. I went right to my mirror and studied myself in detail. I had bathed the night before, but I noticed some stubble on my mound and under arm, and wanted to remove it. I turned on the shower, and put a lot more focus into my wash than I normally would. I scrubbed rather harder than I normally did, and spent time carefully removing the stubble from under my arms, then sitting down on the side of the tube to shave my legs and sex.

In the winter, I really didn't give much care to these areas, unless I was dating. Hair is sexy. In the spring and summer months, since I loved to be outdoors sunbathing and hiking, I almost always went smooth. Smooth is sexy too.

Once out of the shower and dry, I put on a robe and went to my closet. Ivory, cream, ivory, cream. Hmmm... I tended towards pinks, yellows and light blues, so these were tougher, but I remembered that there was a dress, cream with a little silver accent. I had purchased it for a wedding. It wasn't too formal. Sleeveless, and down to my knees. Perfect.

I took it out, made sure it didn't have wrinkles and set it on the bed. Underwear next. I had not idea if these would be seen or not, but best prepare for any circumstance. I went through my underwear drawer for a bra that was off-white with a little lace around the cups. I always bought matching underwear; it always felt better, sexier, proper to do so. I set out the matching panties, knowing the dress was loose enough that I wouldn't show much of a line.

Shoes next. I was tall, she short, and I didn't want to accent that too much. However the only pair of shoes that really matched had a two inch heel in a plum color. I look at the outfit on the bed and decided I approved.

I had to tell myself to forget the time, or else I'd just get nervous, perhaps forget something important. I decided to just leave things as they were and cleaned up my apartment, pushing thoughts out of my mind, focusing on the basic work and found it worked very well.

Sometime later, I decided to dress, slowly and carefully, stepping to the mirror once the dress was on and the heels on my feet. I never liked to wear too much make up, so I opted just for a natural look, thankful for good skin, and added a bit of pink gloss to my lips. I put my hair up, setting it a bun with chopsticks. It wasn't my usually style, since I preferred it down, but this seemed to accentuate my face a bit more. I fussed a bit so that there weren't many stray hairs, then turned towards the clock. 12:30.

I checked a map of the city and found it would take me about 15 minutes with good traffic. I gave myself one last look, then pulled out my drawer of body splashes. I loved a variety, and opted for something light, called Butterfly Flowers, that I hoped she would like. I was conservative with it so it wouldn't overpower. I know some women preferred more over less. I decided against jewelry too. Better go simple.

Finally ready, I grabbed my phone and clutch, getting into my car and driving through the city. My fingers trembled on the steering wheel as I made my way towards the address, and not being a part of the club, I parked a block away, plugged the meter, and made my way towards the front door. I had forgotten to wear a watch, so I check my cell. I was 15 minutes early.

I passed the valet on my way, and when asked, I said I was waiting for someone who was a member, named Lorena. A nod and smile later I was waiting at the front door, holding my clutch.

Waiting patiently, checking the time. Exactly at 12:30, I watched a car pull up, the woman getting out handing the keys to the valet. It was Lorena. I tensed a bit, waiting for her to notice me. It took a moment, but we made eye contact. I smiled brightly.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

My first thought, when I saw her, was Ice Princess. That is what she brought to mind with her hair all up, dressed in a gorgeous little dress that complimented her paleness perfectly. I was a little upset that she hadn't chosen a higher heel. However, I did not let that stop me from sweeping toward her with a wide, wicked grin.

"Hello Amanda. Did you have to wait very long?"

I did not give her time to answer. Instead, I tucked her small hand into the crook of my elbow and guided her into the Club house proper. Now, of course, I should probably give an accounting of the building. It was large and very opulent. There was a gorgeous old fashioned counter with marble insets and two very pretty women standing just behind it. They were always pretty, always pleasant, always smiling.

Past the main entrance were a series of private dining areas. Obviously, because I hadn't made arrangements for those, they were all shut tight against prying eyes. The gray carpet hushed our steps as I led the girl toward the main dining room. The main room itself was gorgeous~all dark cherry and rosewood and burnished copper lamps with glinting glass accents.

We stopped when we reached the host.

"A table for two, Bernard. Proper protocol, please. No boys, only girls."

The host gave me a wide grin and then led the two of us to an alcove, hidden beside an outside entrance. He pulled the chair out for my date and I tugged my own out and sat while he was making her comfortable. He raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded.

"Might as well bring me the wine list."

He smiled and moved off, the perfect host, perfectly professional. Now, I am glossing over a few things. The Marquis was well appointed~understated elegance all the way through but the wait staff, the chef, the girls at the reception desk, everyone who worked inside the Club belonged to one member or another. Either as a submissive, a slave or someone who had been released from duty.

That meant that the clothing was very skimpy and collars, anklets, bracelets~abounded. A few moments later two servers appeared at our table~two females, both wearing little black dresses with matching collars and tattoos~slave numbers if I had to guess. Both knelt beside me, the one on the left offering the wine list. The other held up two ivory colored menus. I took all three things and handed a menu to Amanda~my eyes focusing on the wine list as I debated what we needed.

Through it all, the girls never spoke a word. I finally glanced over at my date and grinned at her. "What do you think, Amanda? You hungry?"

 

[Sasha25]

I walked into the club beside Lorena, not knowing what to expect, and choosing to look rather than comment, as I saw how elegant, almost opulent, the inner space was.

As we passed, I smile back shyly at the two women. I immediately got the sense that I was out of my element. Well, it was true. I decided, however, that I was not going to draw attention to that fact. Eyes open, mouth shut, listen to Lorena, follow here lead, I told myself rapidly.

I thought curiously of the closed doors, but pushed that thought away. Idle questions. Focus.

As the host lead us to our quiet, secluded table, I thought that there was something not quite right about the host, but I could place my finger on it. He was deferential to be sure, but there was something more about it. He pulled out my chair and I sat, then he pushed me in. This was service I had never had and I couldn't help but smile.

Lorena called for the wine list, and I trembled just a little. I wasn't a drinker, and when I did drink, it lost control rather quickly. I didn't say this however; I sensed Lorena had this planned out, and I wanted to trust her.

I almost missed the words "proper protocol, no boys, only girl", but eventually they clicked into place. Protocol. Could this club be a BDSM club? It made sense, sort of, but that meant that...

My eyes went wide for a second. Christ, what have I gotten myself into?

I turn my head slightly as I saw the two girl approach, and my eyes widened again, the menu lowering towards the table. More skin than clothes. Collars. That hit home. Collars. Their tattoos weren't any design, they were numbers. My mind started racing, but I managed to stay calm and not shift in my seat.

Fortunately at the moment, the menu was placed in my fingers by Lorena and I opened it, looking. I found a lot of complex dishes, very haute cuisine I guess, but there were very few descriptions. I kept my eyes averted from the kneeling girls

"I am very hungry, Lorena. I didn't have much of a breakfast. Would you recommend something for me, please?" I ask politely, quietly. "I don't want to order something at random. I'm not picky, I promise." I blushed a little as I met her eyes. Unconsciously, I moved my finger over my ear as if pushing hair behind it. There was no hair to move, but it was a little nervous tic of mine.

I met Lorena's eyes. She was smiling at me, her eyes bright, flashing with her plans. Under the table, I crossed my legs, taking my napkin and placing it over my lap.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I retrieved the menu from Amanda and used both menus to bop the left most server on the top of her pretty head. Once she glanced up, I placed our orders~Mozzarella Salad, one order to split, Fettucine Alfredo with a 2005 Pinot Noir, and Cherry-Almond Tortoni for dessert. The server plucked the menus from my hand with delicate fingertips and rose to stand. She gave a slight curtsy and backed away from the table.

The second server stood a few moments later, heading away to grab the wine steward and pass along my requested wine. The steward approached the table a few moments later~two wine glasses and the bottle of wine, open and airing. From that point on, the lunch went like clock work. It was after our espressos, almost an hour later, that I opened the conversation, again.

"This is why I brought you here. The party didn't show us at our best. This club is a place where those of us who are involved in a nonstadard lifestyle come to be with others like ourselves. I am sure you have noticed that our servers are all submissives of one sort or another. They belong to members of our club."

A sip of sweet, thick heat. "Did you have any questions? Anything I can explain further? Also, are you wearing panties? If so, stand up, slip them off and put them in my hand."

The last question popped out before I could stop it. She brought out the best/worst in me and there was nothing I could do to stop it! I gave a quick, disarming grin and waited to see what she would do, how she would respond. I placed my left hand on the table, palm up.

 

[Sasha25]

The choices Lorena made for lunch were exquisite, and I ate silently, savoring each bite. I was normally a slow eater, always wanting to enjoy a meal, rather than wolf it down, but I tried to strike a balance between slow enjoyment and stalling.

I still felt tense, even as I sipped the wine, knowing I wasn't being completely myself. Not surprising considering how out of my element I was. With my friends, I smiles more, talked more, though not excessively. At the very least, I wasn't some rigid, icy figure who sat and said nothing. The difficulty was that I wasn't sure what was expected, and I didn't want to ruin the chance at learning from Lorena. I felt like I was on a tight leash. God, did I actually think that? How incredibly appropriate.

The wine has seemed to loosen my thoughts a little bit, though thankfully balanced with the food. I was thankful for the espresso, and as I sipped, I listened to Lorena's explanation.

"This is why I brought you here. The party didn't show us at our best. This club is a place where those of us who are involved in a nonstadard lifestyle come to be with others like ourselves. I am sure you have noticed that our servers are all submissives of one sort or another. They belong to members of our club."

I nodded, seeing that my original thought was right. The staffs actions and dress were consistent with what I knew for submissives. I wondered if Lorena had owned one of them at one point and the thought made me shiver for a number of reasons. I had a flash of myself kneeling and handling over a menu to a guest and it unnerved me a bit.

I was half in that thought, so I was completely shocked by Lorena's demand.

"Did you have any questions? Anything I can explain further? Also, are you wearing panties? If so, stand up, slip them off and put them in my hand."

My mouth opened and I nearly dropped my espresso. I had a lot of questions and now I could ask them, but did I take off my panties first? There was no confusing or mistaking the command, and it felt like a command. I hesitated. A moment. Two moments.

I stood up, reaching down with both hands to lift my dress. Her eyes burned into me, with a smile that wasn't a smirk. I put my thumbs into the waist band and lowered them, my legs wobbling. I lifted one leg, then the other, my dress dropping unevenly, then I placed my panties in Lorena's up turned hand. I sat down, smoothing my skirt. I didn't give another look to my panties, but instead went with the first thought that came to me head.

"There is so much I don't know. I realize what an idiot of myself I made last night. I'm really glad you brought me here and showed me the other side. I'm starting to wonder if I'm really meant for this world. It is just exploring... is it? There's so much more."

I finally glanced at my panties, still held in Lorena's hand as I spoke.

"Is this what I'm really meant for? Kneeling at the side of a restaurant table?"

As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back. It sounded so childish. I couldn't now, the question was out there.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I watched as Amanda slipped out of her panties and placed them in my hand. Her face was suffused with color and she appeared to be moving almost in a dream, but that didn't stop her from following orders in a quick and timely manner. I gave an inward grin and waited until she had resumed her seat, my eyes feasting on her blushing face the entire time. Her words brought a smile to my face, one easily seen and read by anyone looking.

"There is so much I don't know. I realize what an idiot of myself I made last night. I'm really glad you brought me here and showed me the other side. I'm starting to wonder if I'm really meant for this world. It is just exploring... is it? There's so much more.

I could tell she was worried. Her words gushed from her like an uncontrolled geyser. It seemed to me that she was unsure of what her place was. Her next words, spoken in a petulant tone, confirmed my initial impression. She had no real idea of what submission was~nor slavery.

"Is this what I'm really meant for? Kneeling at the side of a restaurant table?"

The question was so...child like. I wanted to both beat and hug her. Instead, I bit back my first answer and debated for a moment. When I thought I could speak without sounding like a smart ass, I answered.

"Look those who serve in our club are the best. They are proud to be here. They are pleased that they have been accepted in such positions of gracious servility. These are the prettiest, the most handsome, the most intelligent, the most balanced. This job is a perk for them. It gives them a chance to play outside of their main relationships. There is freedom in serving."

My temper snapped, just a bit. "Quite frankly, with the way you have behaved in the past 24 hours, you would not be accepted here for training, much less an actual job. You are contentious, unsure of yourself, with some sort of picture of what you think submission should be. The reality is that your submission is whatever your Mistress/Master decides they need from you. That may have absolutely nothing to do with kneeling by a table...but then again it might."

I took a sip of espresso and composed my face, allowing my mind to wander for just a moment as I rethought everything I had just said. Had I been too abrupt? Didn't matter, not really. As it was, I had already decided that I would offer myself as a teaching Ma'am, until she had the sort of grace and carriage a real Dom/me looked for. My eyes returned to her face, which had paled considerably and I gave a very brief smile. Once the silence had become just a bit unbearable, I spoke.

"I know that you know nothing of the lifestyle, that you want to learn. I applaud you for that. I am more than willing to offer myself as your stand in guide to the life style though I am not really a dominant, not like the sort of female you met at the party. You just need to understand one thing. You must rid yourself of the idea that your submission has anything to do with you."

"True, you may BE submissive but in the end, the type of submissive you will become is shaped by the person who loves, corrects and coddles you. It is not something YOU do, it is something that you learn~through training, memorization, and the ability to toss out old ideas that no longer work. The sooner you learn this, the easier your journey will be."

I crumpled her panties in my hand and then brought them to my nose. A quick inhale, cataloging the musk in her scent, before I lowered my hand and shoved them into my pant pocket.

"So, are you willing to begin learning what I require...or do you have any other questions?"

 

[Sasha25]

When Lorena snapped at my, my head lowered, I blanched and I looked down. Everything she said was right, but even so, each word pierced me a bit. She didn't know yes how much I hated not understand something, not knowing what to do in a situation. It was a fear, perhaps even a phobia. I stayed away from a lot of new situations because I didn't know how to react to every eventuality. It led to a dull life certainly.

"I know that you know nothing of the lifestyle, that you want to learn. I applaud you for that. I am more than willing to offer myself as your stand in guide to the life style though I am not really a dominant, not like the sort of female you met at the party. You just need to understand one thing. You must rid yourself of the idea that your submission has anything to do with you."

"True, you may BE submissive but in the end, the type of submissive you will become is shaped by the person who loves, corrects and coddles you. It is not something YOU do, it is something that you learn~through training, memorization, and the ability to toss out old ideas that no longer work. The sooner you learn this, the easier your journey will be."

I didn't yet understand why it didn't have anything to do with me. I was sure that Lorena would help me learn that, but the phrase didn't make much sense to me yet. I did very much want to learn. This truly felt like a part of me, even if it was complete unshaped and directionless.

I didn't like making mistakes. I didn't like humiliation. After hearing Lorena speak, I knew I had to put that aside. If I was going to truly learn, about this world and about myself, I was going to make mistakes and I was going to be humiliated. Ultimately, it would be worth it if I could find that one person, who understood me and knew what I need. Someone I could serve with joy. Instead of focusing on my reprimand from Lorena, I had to focus on the positive. Lorena was offering me a way to learn, to explore and perhaps to find myself.

My eyes rose just as I watched her lift my panties to her nose and breathe it. It was so sexual and possessive that I moaned softly and squirmed in my seat. I wanted her to like my scent and it looked like she did.


Take a risk, Amanda, I told myself. You may never have another opportunity like this.

"So, are you willing to begin learning what I require...or do you have any other questions?"

I hesitated, thinking it over. I held her gaze. I didn't want to cower anymore. That was very difficult for me to do, since it was a natural instinct. I closed my eyes for a moment, then opening them again, a deep breath.

"I'm willing to learn, whatever it takes so that I can learn who I am, who I'm meant to be. I'll start from scratch if I need to, forgetting all I thought I knew, and expected." I didn't meant it to sound so grand, it just came out. I turned red, but I smiled too. "I know I'm going to make a lot of mistakes, but I'll learn from them, I promise."

It was very strange. Inside I could feel my stomach relax. I hadn't really felt it constrict. Perhaps the wine had dulled that sensation a bit. I know the intensity of the situation was a big distraction too. Now that the decision was made, I calm, and my body became less tense.

I took my napkin from my lap and set it on the table and took the final few sips of my espresso. Did I have any questions? I couldn't find one that wasn't childish, tedious, or impertinent, so I just left it at that, and smiled.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I listened to her words, saw the color that touched her pale cheeks and the hint of stubborn pride that firmed her chin and kept her eyes glued to my face. If she could listen...and trust? She would make some one a wonderful submissive. That thought made me smile. I didn't respond right away, though. Instead, I waved a near by server over to the table.

"I would like my check. Bring it to me. Also, ask the master of ceremonies to come to my table.'

The female gave a slight smile and a deep curtsy before turning away to get the person I had asked for. The Master, himself, brought the check. I gave a wide grin and introduced him to Amanda, with a languid movement of my small hand.

"Terrence, this is Amanda. She feels she could be submissive and I have agreed to introduce her to our community and our ways. Do you have a privacy room available?"

The man's grin threatened to envelope his whole face. He had known me from before, long before, and remembered my own entrance to these hallowed halls as a masochistic Top long and long ago. I had never offered to take a hand in someone's education before. He knew it. The idea that I would finally join the ranks of one who Trains? That made him happy.

"Of course, Lorena. Give me a few moments to have the room slaves get one in order. They will bring you the number when it is finished.'

With those words, he turned away. Tall, lithe, limber, handsome. The perfect master, the epitome of suave surety. I had always hated him for that. My eyes shifted to focus on Amanda, once more.

"We will be going to a privacy room. We passed them on the way in, do you remember? The rooms with the drawn curtains? I would like to begin now...and I do not want you to worry about being seen."

Just then our original servers returned, the two slave girls. They knelt at my feet, foreheads resting on the carpet, just before my feet. I gave a low laugh and reached down to thread my hand in the nearest one's hair. A small yank brought her face off of the floor.

"Room number, please?"

A slight gasp as the momentary pain registered and faded and then she spoke, her voice soft.

"Number one."

I released the gorgeous hair, my sensitive nose catching the tinge of woman in heat scent as the girl shifted and returned to her previous position. I stood then and moved to Amanda's side of the table.

"Come with me, please."

I held my hand out and waited for her to move.

 

[Sasha25]

It's happening now? Already? The intake of breath was sharp, when Lorena asked for a private room. My eyes were on the gentleman who stood before us. There was such an aura about him that I felt the need to shrink back. I could tell he was a Master, just from looking at him. Perfectly dresses, moving with masculine grace and power. For the first time in many years, I felt an attraction to a man, but I wasn't sure if it was his maleness, or his power that drew me. Or both.

I shook my head as if clearing the cobwebs. As the Master of Ceremonies moved away, I met Lorena's gaze again. She had a very business-like look, and I knew I had to be on my best behavior now. Not that I hadn't be, but I couldn't hesitate or blubber.

"We will be going to a privacy room. We passed them on the way in, do you remember? The rooms with the drawn curtains? I would like to begin now...and I do not want you to worry about being seen."

I nodded, feeling there wasn't anything to be said. I appreciated that this would be private, but I sense that either way, it wasn't my choice. I watched the slave girls return and kneel and noted their posture, the stillness, the control of their poses. There was beauty in it. I knew I would be kneeling like that, or trying to do so. I would have my hair pulled, perhaps harder than that. I squirmed again in my seat, feeling my skin flush and the increase of my arousal.

I watched Lorena rise, and when she stood next to me, I took her hand and rose. We walked past the kneeling slaves and back towards the private rooms. As we approached the room with the number 1 on the door, my heart started to race and I had a moment of panicked dizziness. I'm not sure how I made it pass, because when I gathered myself, I was being guided into the room. I got a very sudden sensation that the threshold of that private room was a symbol of leaving an old life behind. Something came sharply to my mind at that moment.

"What is seen, can't be unseen. What is learned, can't be unlearned." Whether that was true or not, I was about to find out.

I didn't and couldn't tell Lorena all of my thoughts and feelings that I now had to unlearn. That I wanted, ultimately someone firm, but gentle and loving. That I viewed submission not as something purely sexual that I wanted to indulged in a regular but fragmented way, perhaps in sessions somewhere. I wanted to belong to someone. Completely. Utterly. Love, passion, submission, control, pleasure, pain, all rolled up into a glorious partnering.

Lorena said that I would learn first, and that who I was would be defined by the person I would ultimately belong to. I had difficulty with that because I though I knew what I wanted and what I needed. If I continued with those wants and needs and didn't invest myself completely into learning, I knew that Lorena's guidance would be for nothing.

A single tear fell down my cheek as we crossed the threshold, a sacrifice to the life I thought I want; the submission I thought I needed.