A Journey into Submission

His Flower

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Apr 23, 2003
Posts
305
The other night, I was terribly mad at Sir for something he denied me of. Something I wanted and needed so badly that night that it hurted. I ended throwing the biggest tantrum for the next three hours, and boy, it was just reallly bad. But then I also realized that last night, I learned something so valuable as a submissive. This being my first D/s relationship, I usually always got my way in my past relationships whenever I wanted it. And I guess I always told myself yeah, I can do this...this isn't all that difficult. But anyways, long story short, I spent soo much time thinking and throwing thoughts back and forth in my head, and realize that this is what submitting to him means....not always getting what I want when I want it. And in result, after that harsh and cruel punishment, I've only grown to love him more for teaching me to be better....and seem to understand a deeper meaning of just serving him. I feel happy and almost feel like I just completed a small part of my journey and discovery. Thought I'll share this....and just wondering...is there anyone out there who's ever felt the way I did? I think it certainty would help if I don't feel like I'm all alone in this.

:rose:~His Flower~:rose:
 
There is nothing like the feeling of disappointment. Not in the disappointment of not getting your way, but that in the tone of His voice when He spoke to you about your tantrum.

i have been there, felt that. To me, it is the worst punishment, feeling in the world. Knowing He loves me enough to punish me, guide me and teach me to be stronger... is wonderful.. but hearing that voice, knowing i have upset and disappointed Him is worse than anything.

Each time i make a mistake, stumble and fall.. each time He shows me how to get back up on my feet, holds my hand to guide me back to the path i am suppose to be on.. only makes my submission to Him grow stronger.. each moment, even the bad is worth the struggle within myself when i am screaming in my head about how i want things to be, how i want what i want, when i want it...

He teaches me patience and He has taught me that in time, i will have everything... it has just taken me time to accept that He sets the time table, He sets the pace and He knows what is best for me...

i know where you are, and how you are feeling.. just remember, the bad times make us appreciate the good.. and the bumpy roads really make the ride worth while...

basque
 
His_sugar said:
There is nothing like the feeling of disappointment. Not in the disappointment of not getting your way, but that in the tone of His voice when He spoke to you about your tantrum.

i have been there, felt that. To me, it is the worst punishment, feeling in the world. Knowing He loves me enough to punish me, guide me and teach me to be stronger... is wonderful.. but hearing that voice, knowing i have upset and disappointed Him is worse than anything.

Each time i make a mistake, stumble and fall.. each time He shows me how to get back up on my feet, holds my hand to guide me back to the path i am suppose to be on.. only makes my submission to Him grow stronger.. each moment, even the bad is worth the struggle within myself when i am screaming in my head about how i want things to be, how i want what i want, when i want it...

He teaches me patience and He has taught me that in time, i will have everything... it has just taken me time to accept that He sets the time table, He sets the pace and He knows what is best for me...

i know where you are, and how you are feeling.. just remember, the bad times make us appreciate the good.. and the bumpy roads really make the ride worth while...

basque

I think I can I say I understand what you mean right now. Knowing I disappointed him and upsetted him when I threw that temper tantrum just made me want to do anything to make it up to him.

Knowing that he's been soo patient with me while I was being the biggest brat made me love him even more.

Just knowing that he cares, and wants the best for me makes me want to give my all to him.

I think I learned something...and it's the best when you learn something when you least expect to.

:rose:~His Flower~:rose:
 
I know I have been in the position of teaching a submissive, and her often saying "do I have to?" when I ask her to do something. Then later, having her thanking me for "making" her do it.

I suspect a lot of Dom/mes enjoy the sensation of helping someone learn and grow... I know I do. Kind of like a naughty teacher!
 
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I can empathise with you and also appreciate what you are saying about learning through the loving guidance of a caring Master. For me, my Master could whip the flesh from my limbs, but it would never hurt me as much, nor produce tears as sorrowful and real as those that fall when I know I have disappointed him in even the smallest way. Those moments leave me with scars that go deeper than any tangible marks he may gift me with and serve to remind me of what my real purpose in life is.....to please and serve him always. By doing that I am rewarded with the deepest, most honest love imaginable, and in time given the opportunity to receive all I deserve. Even though I love pain and am insatiable at times, the pain of punishment does not give me pleasure, is more painful than that delivered out of mutual love and need, but also serves to psychologically cleanse me after I have behaved badly. I am forever grateful to Master for his wisdom and guidance, but most of all his love and patience.
 
Yes, I've very recently been rather painfully reminded that I am not in charge of what happens to me. It comes as a surprise each time--I'm so used to being the one pushing us forward, pushing my limits, deciding what gets done and when. And he is allowing less and less of it with each encounter. My eyes still get all wide and shocked; I'm just not used to not topping from the bottom. (Ack! Another split infinitive! 30 smacks.)

My feelings are always mixed. On the immediate level, I'm disappointed when I don't get what I want. Sometimes it's painful or at least uncomfortable when I have to do something when I'd prefer not to. Often I have to adjust both physically and mentally to this new series of events that I did not plan for, and it's bloody difficult.

But upon reflection, it is just what I need. I'm never satisfied when I know I can get what I want when I want it; it's too easy and I get bored. Especially in a relationship that we both base upon a power exchange, this is the only way for us to work out. Yeah, it's hard and frustrating and challenging. But if it's what I need, then I do it.

Thank you for sharing your story; you aren't alone in your struggles and triumphs.
 
Uhh.. no offense, but do you people have something seriously wrong with your head? Why does one partner need to be submissive, or dominant? Why do you need to be 'taught'? It's sick, how you people are. In a healthy relationship there should be two 'equals'.

I bet some of you get off on using kitchen utensils as sexual accessories.

sickos.
 
Eating_Crimson said:
Uhh.. no offense, but do you people have something seriously wrong with your head? Why does one partner need to be submissive, or dominant? Why do you need to be 'taught'? It's sick, how you people are. In a healthy relationship there should be two 'equals'.

I bet some of you get off on using kitchen utensils as sexual accessories.

sickos.

Dominants and submissives are equals... I don't see your point there. It's a sexual role.

As for teaching... you mean you never have things to learn? I'm learning things about sex all the time! That's why it's so much fun!

And hey, leave off the kitchen implements... I enjoy my kitchen implements! Here, let me show you my whizzer... :p

"Sicko", and pround of it! Nothing like a little healthy perversion.
 
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Eating_Crimson said:


I bet some of you get off on using kitchen utensils as sexual accessories.

sickos.


Yep, we sure do. :D
UH HUH
UH HUH
 
Kichen Utensils!

I thought I was unique in this perversion? Apparently not!
 
Eating_Crimson said:
Uhh.. no offense, but do you people have something seriously wrong with your head? Why does one partner need to be submissive, or dominant? Why do you need to be 'taught'? It's sick, how you people are. In a healthy relationship there should be two 'equals'.

I bet some of you get off on using kitchen utensils as sexual accessories.

sickos.

I don't post here very often but this is the BDSM forum and if you don't like what we talk about or do don't come here
 
Eating_Crimson said:
No, apparently not. Next it'll be child pornography.

You all deserve to be shot.

Desperately trying to see the link between kitchen implements and child pornography, but failing miserably...
 
Eating_Crimson said:
No, apparently not. Next it'll be child pornography.

You all deserve to be shot.

Hey sweetie, you DO realize you are posting on a porn site, right?


Not really sure how you go from consentual sex to child porn.:confused:
 
Oh, and my kink is unhealthy in your eyes and the appropriate treatment is death?






*very sorry for the hijack...moving along now*
 
It's the old "sex bad, killing good" argument. Sorry, doesn't wash with me.
 
YES! For fucks sake, you're all turning sex into a JOKE. Role playing, submission, domination, kitchen utensils... sex isn't about that. WHY do you feel that you need all this shit to enjoy sex?

Can't you get yourself off on your partner alone? Why can't you BOTH be dominant in bed, at different times? Why do you have to fucking masturbate online? (*re*: some other thread). What kind of sick shit IS this?!

And for the love of God, why do you all feel the need to declare every facet of your sexual preferences for any and all to see? Who's fucking business is it, you miserable bunch of attention seeking twits?

KEEP IT THE FUCK TO YOURSELF.

Really. Why do you have the urge to "share" something so private? What can you possibly get out of it?
 
"Ooh, my partner, he's so big and strong, he doesn't let me have sex when I want it, he's so bad, I'm so little and helpless, oooh ooooh!!"


*rolls eyes*

Get over it. You're not being taught anything, except that males know how to keep you chicks under their thumbs.

Don't act like you don't have a choice and they're not 'letting' you do what you want to do because that's such a load of utter bullshit it's almost funny. If you want sex, and your partner won't give it to you, how's that teaching you anything?

I mean all I can make out of it is that you're too fucking ugly to have sex with.

Or that you're a pussy who can't hold their own in the relationship.

It certainly doesnt demonstrate love.

If someone loves you, they're not going to stop sleeping with you on principle or make you beg for it.
 
I bet some of you get off on using kitchen utensils as sexual accessories.



Its called the Aunt Jemmima treatment

*didn't you ever see
stripes*

and this is a porn board
 
Eating_Crimson said:
YES! For fucks sake, you're all turning sex into a JOKE. Role playing, submission, domination, kitchen utensils... sex isn't about that. WHY do you feel that you need all this shit to enjoy sex?
You mean you haven't noticed how funny sex is? Sheesh...

Can't you get yourself off on your partner alone? Why can't you BOTH be dominant in bed, at different times?
Actually, my partner and I are both dominant. And mostly, we don't play D/s games in sex. What's your point?

Why do you have to fucking masturbate online? (*re*: some other thread). What kind of sick shit IS this?!
You masturbate with shit? You sick puppy! Chuckles

And for the love of God, why do you all feel the need to declare every facet of your sexual preferences for any and all to see?
Well, you see, we live in the 21st century, where (shock horror gasp!) people are allowed to discuss many different things, including sex! And oh my god (or your god for that matter) we are on a porn site dedicated to talking about sex, and you wonder why we are here talking about sex? Um... did I miss something here?

Who's fucking business is it, you miserable bunch of attention seeking twits?
Ours. Your point? Personally, I think you're doing rather well in the "attention seeking twits" department.

KEEP IT THE FUCK TO YOURSELF.
Hint. Close the browser. Don't come back. Problem solved!

Really. Why do you have the urge to "share" something so private? What can you possibly get out of it?
Do you really want to know, or is that a rhetorical question?

Okay, list of what I get out of it:

I get to discuss a favourite topic openly with friendly people (kinda like guys like talking about cars or football.)

I get to learn more.

I get to brag.

I get to laugh.


Need more?
 
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Eating_Crimson, you walked into OUR livingroom to judge us? Who died and made you God? You need to read before you pass blanket statements, you have no idea who you are talking to or about.



I know EB don't feed the trolls *head back to the corner now*
 
Brekke said:
*didn't you ever see stripes*

Actually, wasn't it Bachelor Party where at the end of the movie, he runs down the aisle after the bride, brandishing an egg beater?

If Tom Hanks can do it, we can all do it!
 
FungiUg said:
Actually, wasn't it Bachelor Party where at the end of the movie, he runs down the aisle after the bride, brandishing an egg beater?

If Tom Hanks can do it, we can all do it!

yes that happened too, but "Its called the Aunt Jemmima treatment " came from Stripes when they're in the CO's house with the MP's
 
lilredwolph said:
yes that happened too, but "Its called the Aunt Jemmima treatment " came from Stripes when they're in the CO's house with the MP's

Hmmm, don't remember that bit. I do remember them unfolding themselves from inside a glory box, and the comment "Well, that was interesting!"
 
Hey everyone..... just wanted to say that if you look at EVERY post that Eating_Crimson has made here at Lit, they are all negative.... he/she/it likes to complain, and thrives on the controvery they create.

Eating_Crimson pissed off many people on the general board, and has now come here to spread a little sunshine.... Let's show him/her/it that just because some of us like to play in cages, we are not animals. ;) my advice, treat this person like you would a nasty, puss filled boil-- don't pick at it, pretend it's not there, and maybe it will go away.... Otherwise have it lanced! JMHO :D
 
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