A joke: regional differences

[cymbidia]

You're on the West Coast when . . .

* You make over $250,000 and still can't afford to buy your own house.
* The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
* The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
* You know how to eat an artichoke.
* You drive to your neighborhood block party.

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You're in New York when . . .

* You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
* You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
* You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
* You think Central Park is "nature."
* You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
* You've ever worn out a car horn.
* You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

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You're in Canada when . . .

* You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
* Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
* You have more than one recipe for moose.
* Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
* The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

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You're in the South when . . .

* You rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
* "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
* After a year you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
* "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

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You're in Colorado when . . .

* You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
* You ask your husband to pick up granola on his way home and he stops at the day care.
* A pass does not involve a football or dating.
* The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
* Your bridal registry is at REI.

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You're in the Midwest when . . .

* You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
* You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
* You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with."
* Your first job was detasseling.
* When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different."

 

[morninggirl5]

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You're in the South when . . .

* You rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
* "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
* After a year you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
* "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

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"He needed killin and it way my turn to take care of it"........... wonder how well that would go over for real?

 

[Caria Knight]

You're a genuine New Jerseyite if you recognize or can relate to at least 10 of these...

You've been seriously injured at Action Park.

You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."

You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."

You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.

You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

At least 3 people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that a Krauser's is a convenience store.

You know that the state isn't farmland.

You know that there are no "beaches" in Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."

You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs. And you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagie" or a hero."

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.

You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.

You knew that the last question had to do with driving.

You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York,...Hampshire -(doesn't work, does it?).

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and Mayo a sacrilege.

In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.

You don't think "What exit"(do you live near?) is very funny.

You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.

You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."

You know that no respectable Jerseyite goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-stators.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.

You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.

You've eaten a Boardwalk cheese steak with vinegar fries.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

And finally..

You've never pumped your own gas.

 

[Caria Knight]

I relate to 32 of those 37..... Wanna guess where I'm from! LOL

 

[Starblayde]

You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York,...Hampshire -(doesn't work, does it?).

Jersey, The Island of.

Set in the English Channel, this picturesque island has a heavy French influence, and was the setting for the popular British Detective show "Bergerac" in the 80s

And its where the cows originally came from

 

[MissTaken]

While I am a NY resident, the Canadian description is more apt for me.

Hmmmm

And in some places, the first day of hunting season really is a paid holiday!

 

[kotori]

You're a genuine New Jerseyite if you recognize or can relate to at least 10 of these...

You've been seriously injured at Action Park. No

You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges." Yes--but what abou "the Amboys"?

You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." Yes

You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. Yes, duh

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. Yes, down 9 and over at Lakewood, or 35, or the Parkway

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. Yes, and lots of other times, too.

You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison. Yes, Hudson Co., not Essex.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. Yes, well Bayway might give you second thoughts

At least 3 people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. Yes, and Sayreville

You know what a "jug handle" is. Yes, "no turns from left lane."

You know that a Krauser's is a convenience store. Yes.

You know that the state isn't farmland. Yes, there's some though.

You know that there are no "beaches" in Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway." Yes, but there are individual beaches--like Bradley Beach and Ortley Beach.

You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree. Yes, just don't say it too loudly in Chatsworth.

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs. And you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagie" or a hero." Yes, duh

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. Gotta say "no" here, I don't remember. Last time I was there must have been 1962. I do remember the salt-water pool, though.

You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. Yes--I know, but none of the other drivers do.

You knew that the last question had to do with driving. Yes, duh

You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York,...Hampshire -(doesn't work, does it?). Yes, true.

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City." Yes

That's a 33 for me. Thanx Caria!

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. Yes, duh

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and Mayo a sacrilege. Eww! Fried egg and ketchup.

In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high. N.A.; but I think I dated her.

You don't think "What exit"(do you live near?) is very funny. Yes, Exit 9, btw.

You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22. No, see you learn something new at Lit every day.

You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different." Yes

You know that no respectable Jerseyite goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters. Yes, like $ Bill Bradley

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. Yes

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. Yes

You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. Yes, even though it was more than 20-miles (by car).

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. Yes, Except for the Parkway, that doesn't have a number.

Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony. Yes.

You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is. Yes, duh.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. Yes, 3, 46 or 17?

You've eaten a Boardwalk cheese steak with vinegar fries. Yes.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. Yes.

And finally..

You've never pumped your own gas. Yes, at least not legally.

 

[Mellon Collie]

Ok 1/3 New York + 2/3 Jersey (not fake South Jersey) = Philly.

I relate to quite a few things from each list though Boardwalk Cheesesteaks will never beat Geno's, I don't care what you Jersey freaks say.



And I've never pumped my own gas, I live right near the bridge and it's cheaper in Jersey.

 

[Angel]

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You're in New York when . . .

* You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
* You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
* You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
* You think Central Park is "nature."
* You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
* You've ever worn out a car horn.
* You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

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