A good little witch's adventures with kindergartners

[glynndah]

Every day I read a story to the kindergarten class. This year's group of six-year-olds has decided they need to compliment me. They comment on everything, from my jewelry "Oh, Ms. Glynndah, I wike dos earwings!" to my attire "Those tights are pretty, lunch lady!" and everything in between. It's rather like being a perpetual guest on "What not to wear", except the hosts are always very pleased with my wardrobe choices.

Well, today as I started reading the story, Brady asked "Hey, are those your pants or socks?" {I was wearing a pair of black diamond-patterned tights and a black skirt.}

"They're tights," Mia, a more cosmopolitan member of the monkey-bar set, replied.

"Huh?" asked Brady.

Mia sighed and then replied, "They're like socks, long, long socks."

Brady looked at my legs with a mixture of wonder and puzzlement on his face and then said, "They're socks that go a-a-a-l-l-l the way UP."

***

I was reading a story "There was an old lady who swallowed a pie..." about an old lady who kept eating more and more Thanksgiving dinner until she was as big as one of the balloons used in the Macy's parade.

The other children were commenting on how large she was getting. "She's as big as the table!" "Look how fat her stomach is!", etc.

Brady's comment, however was a bit different.

"Wow! Look at those big boobies!"

***

Story time is in the corner with me in a chair and the kids sitting "criss-cross applesauce" in front of me. Once again, it was the crumb cruncher version of "What Not to Wear" with all sorts of comments about my wardrobe and jewelry choices. Brady was sitting directly in front of me.

"Oh, you gots on those pants ... socks ... uh."

"They're tights, remember?" Mia helped.

"Oh, yeah. Tights".

I felt a little hand stroking my shin.

"Dese are n-i-i-i-i-i-ce."

 

[nomoretears00]

Love grade K

Bless their hearts, you just never know what's going to come out of their mouths. We use the criss-cross applesauce, too. My favorite was hearing them tell one another 'hip and lip' in line lol!

 

[Ellafun]

I also work with little ones, and I am charmed and delighted by some of the amazing things that they say and do. Sounds like you might have your hands full with Brady!

 

[kimbalee]

chuckling. I am guessing Brady is gonna be a big ole perv and end up here in 12 years or less, chasing our good little witch.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Are kindergarteners six years old this time of year? I thought they would be four or five. I know I was four when I entered, but I turned five a month later.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Rubbish!

Modern children say, WHAZZ DAT? or WHAT IT IS?

 

[glynndah]

Are kindergarteners six years old this time of year? I thought they would be four or five. I know I was four when I entered, but I turned five a month later.

They are now older. There's a birth date cut-off. I'm thinking it's six by September 15, but I'm not certain.

 

[Metamorphose]

My kid is a little younger than your guys and they just started teaching him proverbs and idioms in kindergarten. A week ago he stretched the shower/bedtime just enough to make me want to bang his father’s head against the wall (I always fall for that ‘just this WII level and I’m done, honest.’) So shower instead of the happy hour, sprinkles and stories at half the price, became a very short and laconic ordeal. He knows when he stretched his limits so he did things real fast too. When he was in his pajama he sat on our bed and told my wife: “Dad reminds me of the proverb man is a wolf to his fellow man.’

Now my older munchkin, who’s a little older to know the value of a buck (“Dad, buy me the Super Mario Galactic II” “But it’s really expansive.” “Then give them a check.” )
She caught some virus and couldn’t keep any meal down. In the morning she felt like throwing up and ran to the sink, managed to trip (she was real weak from not eating) and opened a nice slash just below her eye. It wasn’t really deep and didn’t need stitches eventually, but it looked nasty at the time, flowering to a blue green smudge below the eye. I’m like the hysteric dad I am, rushed her to the hospital (where her mom works). I gave her a plastic box to puke in, so she wouldn’t mess up the car. I placed her near the hospital gate because I didn’t want her to walk all the way from the parking lot, in the hot Israeli sun and told her to wait near the nice security guys.
I parked and ran over at which point she proudly showed me her puke box full of shiny Shekels and some money bills.
“How did that happen?” I said.
“I dunno, people just kept putting money inside.”
I looked at my kid with a slash beneath one eye, a nice dress (because we couldn’t look like slobs in mom’s workplace ) which she managed throwing up on and the plastic box in her extended hand. “Wow. Why didn’t you give the money back?”
“It’s full of yukky puke. I cant touch that. Dad, you go ahead and meet mom, I’m feeling like staying here for another hour or so.”

 

[jomar]

Keep an eye on Brady...will he be a leg man or breast man?

I predict leg man with a lunch lady stocking fetish.

 

[baphemetis]

Suddenly, my Intro to Psych class on how fetishes develop begins to make sense....

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Many years ago I substitute taught while I was getting my credential and put the district on notice that I would only work K-3. I eventually learned to love sixth graders as a permanent teacher but knew only too well how vicious they can be to a sub and wanted no part of it.

Anyway, I got this call one morning to do a kindergarten at the school just down the street from my home. I did the usual check-in things and walked out into the little playground that the K's have all to themselves. One little boy looked up at me and launched himself at my legs with the joyous cry, "Daddy!"

I responded, somewhat bemused, "Well, yes, I am a daddy but I don't think I'm your daddy . . ."