A Girl's First Time

[Jim1121]

Hi all,

I have a question for both the guys and girls out there about a girl's virginity and first time sex . Can any of the girls remember what it felt like? Can any guys relate their experiences of having sex with a virgin?

I'm currenlty engaged and geting married this summer! Both my fiance and I are virgins and I'd like some advice on having sex for the first time. How to make it easier for her...

Is it a case of taking it as slowly and gently as possible or is it easier to make one firm movement and pass the moment of penetration quickly? I guess I'd like to hear most from the girls about what is the most painless way past this initial barrier.

I'm a longterm visitor to Lit (despite newly re-registering) so whilst inexperienced I'm far from pure of mind!

 

[bisexplicit]

One of the reasons I don't read "First time" stories on lit is because they tend to bother me with their gross inaccuracies...
For myself, and every other girl I have spoken to who has lost their virginity, it was painful throughout the whole first time.
However, that doesn't mean all is lost. While intercourse was painful, there are plenty of other things you both can enjoy.
Some tips, though:
1) Do go slowly.
2) Look into her eyes, kiss her, ask her if shes okay...focus on the emotional connection during your first time - then would not be the time to do any kinky roll-playing, hehe.
3) Realize that angling is going to be important as well, and you might not get it right the first time. Both of you might need to shift around a little in order to have her be in the least possible pain.

 

[SweetErika]

Slow and Gentle

It will likely be a very emotional experience for both of you, and the last thing you want to do is traumatize her, so you need to go very slowly and gently, paying close attention to her reactions. Other key aspects that helped immensely during my first time:
-Foreplay. Lots and lots and lots until she's dripping wet and very relaxed. Kiss and stroke every inch, give her a massage, give oral, etc.
-Relax. If she thinks it'll be painful, it will be. If you feel her tense up, stop and go back to the intimacy and foreplay.
-Start with a finger. I don't know if you've already been fingering, but if not, start with one when she's very relaxed and aroused, add another in time, and maybe a third.
-When you start to penetrate her, it might help to insert just the tip, stop, pull out, next time a tiny bit more, and so on.
-Keep it extremely slow and gentle throughout.

Personally, there was some pain, but I had a caring partner, and it was more pleasureable than anything else.

 

[SweetDevil1977]

I so wish there was something like this thread when I experienced my "first time".

Of course I was 15 at the time and he was 16. On an island in the middle of a river with a carnival going on just 100 yards from where we were. There was no forplay and no concern for my well-being.

Hmmm makes ya kinda wonder why now after 10 years apart he and I are together and talking of marriage. We also have the best sex ever.

Just be considerate of her feelings.

 

[Darkknight2010]

EVerytime someone mentions The First Time, I remember a skit from 'Eddie Murphy Delirious' about sex the very first time; that look of 'HOLY SHIT WE'RE FUCKING' on your face... and then going 'Oh shit... Um... was it good for you?'

That was my first time. Sigh. I was 18 with my very first g-f, we were both freshmen in Syracuse. A lot of things lead up to this moment, but when we did... well, it wasn't a horrible experience by any means, but if definitely had the feeling for me of 'Oh shit... um... was it good for you?'

I guess the key thing is if it feels kinda akward, IT'S OK. Enjoy the moment, and remember PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

At the risk of really soundling like a guy, porn DOES hlep a little... at least as far as 'Oh... so THAT'S how that works' kinda thing. It's certainly not a cure-all, but it helps.

 

[Guest]

Entering the vagina is the most painful. Well, it was for me, anway. But then again, I was very young, so it may be different for her. If she has already masturbated, it won't be as bad.

Make sure you do lots of foreplay- kissing, make her wet with your tongue between her legs, and if she's nervous and doesn't seem to be getting wet, try some KY jelly before entering.

When you're making love, talk to her. I believe this is very important. Tell her how much you love her, how she feels good, etc. Being talked to is very stimulating.

Most important, be gentle, and if you explode because of it, just try again in a few minutes. If you both are virgins then I'm sure you'll have no problem getting it up again.

 

[Coyness]

My boyfriend at the time was incredible throughout the entire thing. He was amazingly sweet and talked to me the entire time; asked what I was feeling, went really slow, gave me plenty of time to adjust. At first, he tried to enter me while he was on top; this did not work very well. After a few minutes, we ended up switching so that I was on top. For me, this was better because I could easily control the angle and speed of insertion. After he was completely inside me, I just sat there for a few minutes, getting used to the new feeling, before starting some in and out motions.

my advice: foreplay, talk to her a lot (make sure she's ok, tell her she's beautiful, etc.), let her be on top so she has more control over the movements and pain, go slow, and give her time to adjust.

 

[Angellika]

Hey! Well, my first time, I have to say, was not painful at all... it was not great either, I was just like shocked, in a good way, I remember after doing it we met with some friends for luch and we both had that stupid grin in our faces couldn't stop smiling... It got good with the practice, but I guess what I am trying to say is that it is not always painful, so don't be afraid...

 

[h_i_s]

The one thing i recall at that moment, was urging him to simply DO IT, and stop worrying so much about hurting me. i was right, the prolonged pain of going at it slowly, was much worse than the short lived pain or finally just doing it, and eliminating that barrior in one swift push.

i hope you understand the importance of getting her opinion on this. Communication is key to any relationship. You won't find the right answers by asking anyone else. Everyone is different ....

 

[Eilan]

i hope you understand the importance of getting her opinion on this. Communication is key to any relationship. You won't find the right answers by asking anyone else. Everyone is different ....

Absolutely.

I lost my virginity to my ex-husband. Since I'd never seen any penis other than his, I had no idea that he was much, much thicker than average. Owie. For us, it took several sex sessions before the pain went away.

 

[FurryFury]

Hi all,

I have a question for both the guys and girls out there about a girl's virginity and first time sex . Can any of the girls remember what it felt like? Can any guys relate their experiences of having sex with a virgin?

I'm currenlty engaged and geting married this summer! Both my fiance and I are virgins and I'd like some advice on having sex for the first time. How to make it easier for her...

Is it a case of taking it as slowly and gently as possible or is it easier to make one firm movement and pass the moment of penetration quickly? I guess I'd like to hear most from the girls about what is the most painless way past this initial barrier.

I'm a longterm visitor to Lit (despite newly re-registering) so whilst inexperienced I'm far from pure of mind!

Does anyone seriously not remember their first time? Well I guess if you were drunk or drugged enough you might not. I completely remember my first time. I wanted to wait until I was married too but that option was taken from me. It won't help you for me to relate my first time to you.

I'm sure you both will do fine. If you've been reading these boards for a while, you should know a lot. Go slow. Don't try to do too much too soon and just enjoy. Make sure she does too.

Have a beautiful wedding night!

*hugs*

Fury

 

[LeahLo519]

Like all the other ladies have said, you're not going to get through first time sex without it hurting her. It's painful, but not normally unbearable. Just be sure to be gentle with her, talk to her, tell her you love her and ask her if she's okay...it's a milestone for her (and it hurts) so be supportive. And make sure she's really wet. I've heard of girls who have freaked out about having sex for the first time and their vaginas turned into temporary sand pits. But if you guys are getting married, she obviously loves you so getting her turned on enough shouldn't be a problem. Be gentle with her the next couple of times too...it takes some getting used to. Good luck, have fun, and congradulations on your marriage.

 

[DarkMuse]

I vaguely remember it. It was with my ex-fiance, and it wasn't that good. He came quickly, so we did it again. When I peed afterwards, I noticed a hunk of "stuff" (I'm thinking it was my hymen or something) in the toilet.

I had just kind of laid there, not knowing what to do. LOL.

Sex can often be painful for me because I'm VERY tight until we get it working in there...LOL. Also, the ex-fiance was big, and then the second guy I was with was even bigger.

Good thing I've found a guy good at sex....

 

[Lust Engine]

Take your time! If it's going to be a lifetime with this person, start off slowly. You'll have the rest of your lvies to make it better. Just be re-assuring and talk it through.

To me, it's almost like learning how to walk a tightrope for the first time. Sure it's scary but just help one another through it and you WILL get better.

 

[Undomiel]

I've a question to add on this that confuses me slightly. Where exactly is the pain when its experienced? I know my hymen is outside and it doesn't exactly stretch very far, and that can hurt. But also if I insert something too deep inside it hurts a little, like theres something blocking. Yeah I'm not ready for sex,

 

[SweetErika]

I've a question to add on this that confuses me slightly. Where exactly is the pain when its experienced? I know my hymen is outside and it doesn't exactly stretch very far, and that can hurt. But also if I insert something too deep inside it hurts a little, like theres something blocking. Yeah I'm not ready for sex,

That's probably your cervix. For some women (and at some times of the cycle) it feels good for the cervix to be hit quite hard, for others, it hurts terribly.

Apart from the hymen and cervix, most women are hurt when losing their virginity because they're tense. The penis is "forcing" tightened muscles apart, which can lead to bruising, soreness, intense pain, sprain, or strain. I was very relaxed and turned on my first time, but it still hurt because I was tightening up unconsciously...probably from the anticipation of pain or thought that it might hurt. If you're turned on, relaxed, and think about how wonderful it'll feel if you have a loving partner and go slow, you likely won't have any problems.

 

[mrmgp]

Hi all,

I have a question for both the guys and girls out there about a girl's virginity and first time sex . Can any of the girls remember what it felt like? Can any guys relate their experiences of having sex with a virgin?

I'm currenlty engaged and geting married this summer! Both my fiance and I are virgins and I'd like some advice on having sex for the first time. How to make it easier for her...

Is it a case of taking it as slowly and gently as possible or is it easier to make one firm movement and pass the moment of penetration quickly? I guess I'd like to hear most from the girls about what is the most painless way past this initial barrier.

I'm a longterm visitor to Lit (despite newly re-registering) so whilst inexperienced I'm far from pure of mind!

I normally don't relate stories about taking a woman's virginity (it's too special a time for a woman for a man to be spreading the tale around everywhere like locker room bragging), but there is one girl that I slept with who was a virgin, and I just can't resist passing this story on as a cautionary tale. She claimed that she was experienced, and told me that she liked to be fucked hard. No slow stuff for her, no sir. Just ram it home and fuck her like a turbocharged rabbit. Okay, so I rammed it home fast and hard just like she claimed she wanted. I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head when I tore her hymen.

The other times, I knew the girls/women were virgins, so I was slow and cautious and gentle and loving and patient, and most times, my partners who didn't lose their hymens to school sports or childhood accidents found it enjoyable. For me, I consider it an extreme honor to be a woman's first lover, and I find it quite humbling to have been selected to receive one of the most cherished gifts a woman can give to a man.

The most important thing is patience and gentleness. Despite all the adult stories where men ram their cocks home and rip the bejesus out of the hymen and the woman orgasms seconds later, it doesn't happen like that too often in real life. For some women, having her hymen torn is the most painful thing she'll experience until she gives birth. Let her dictate the pace, and she'll get through it with a lot less pain and discomfort. If she has reservations about the pain she is going to experience if her hymen is intact, she can always go to a gynecologist who can cut the hymen for her before you two start having intercourse.

 

[budderfwy]

I've a question to add on this that confuses me slightly. Where exactly is the pain when its experienced? I know my hymen is outside and it doesn't exactly stretch very far, and that can hurt. But also if I insert something too deep inside it hurts a little, like theres something blocking. Yeah I'm not ready for sex,

Your hymen is outside of what? Your hymen is not outside of your body, so please explain where you think it is outside of. I'm not trying to be rude, just wondering if you know where your hymen is.



The guy I lost my virginity to at 20 had no idea I was a virgin and just like mrmgp, he rammed it home and I thought I was literally going to die. Ohhhh the pain.

My best advice, make sure you have some lubricant on hand, something like KY Jelly. She may nervous, tense, scared and that could make her dry or even if she is wet, you may could use the extra help. Having something to help make her wet and slick will help with the penetration.

 

[SweetErika]

Your hymen is outside of what? Your hymen is not outside of your body, so please explain where you think it is outside of. I'm not trying to be rude, just wondering if you know where your hymen is.

Where do you think the hymen is exactly?

For those of you who may be confused about female anatomy and the definition and location of the hymen...

"Many people are under the impression that the hymen is located within the vagina. It is not. It’s part of the vulva, the external genital organs. It’s located outside the vagina. The hymen is a layer of tissue, just like the tissue around the opening of your vagina that partially conceals the vaginal orifice. You may or may not have one, most females do. The hymen is named after the Greek God Hymenaeus -- the God of marriage and weddings, FYI."

From http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

Pictures:
http://www.istaysafe.com/istaysafe/stayinginformed/images/female_genitals.jpg
http://tomrue.net/infoavenue/health/images/hymens.jpg
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/Images/hymen_variations.gif

 

[budderfwy]

Oh well dayum ... I thought it was slightly inside of your vagina.

Now don't I look like a retard?

figures

 

[LadyJeanne]

EVerytime someone mentions The First Time, I remember a skit from 'Eddie Murphy Delirious' about sex the very first time; that look of 'HOLY SHIT WE'RE FUCKING' on your face... and then going 'Oh shit... Um... was it good for you?'

<snip>

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

If she orgasms before penetration, either with your fingers or orally, she'll be a lot wetter, and lot more relaxed, and a lot more open. And you avoid the, 'um, was it good for you,' although maybe not the 'oh shit!' part.

Have fun!

Edited to add: For god's sake, DO NOT fall asleep immediately afterward! Hold her, kiss her, tell her how beautiful and sexy she is and how much you love her.

 

[aftershox]

back when I was 19 , I remember bleeding and being sore and everything. It hurt and it felt good. the euphoria of the experience made everything OK.

 

[SweetErika]

Oh well dayum ... I thought it was slightly inside of your vagina.

Now don't I look like a retard?

figures

FWIW, I leaned a lot by looking it up...I had no idea there were different configurations, and had never really seen pictures of ones that provided fuller coverage. Gotta love Google!

 

[Munachi]

Does anyone seriously not remember their first time?

Well in a way I don't... Well in the way that I am not sure which one of two times would count as my first time: He went in and moved a bit in me, and it hurt, and so we stopped and went back to what we doing before. Then a few days later we did the full thing... So I guess I lost my virginity in the sense of the hymen that first time (if not before when he was fingering me, I am not sure about that but there was blood then once) but I only really counted it as sex that second time...

As for me, no matter how much foreplay, the first few years of having sex actually it hurt me always when he entered me, and all I could do was endure the pain and then after a few seconds it was gone... I guess I always tensed up...

 

[Undomiel]

Yeah I meant outside the vagina. I don't really speak very technically, sorry! And thanks for the info SweetErika