A Flame Mastered by Crimson Maiden

[A7inchPhildo]

A Flame Mastered

by CrimsonMaiden


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=115838


This story was in the work shop, and I must say revised very nice.
This is a good example why the work shop is a great place to put a good story and make it a great story!




Phildo

 

[Guest]

Aww, thanks Phil!

 

[Guest]

Just bumping this up in case there is anyone who might be interested but hasn't had the chance to read it yet. You can click on the link in Phil's post or on the link in my siggy.

Thanks!

 

[Pure]

Aria crossed over to the bed, grabbed her bra, and put it on, encasing her ample breasts in snug black lace. She pulled the garter belt up to her hips and then sat down on the bed, slowly sliding silky stockings up her shapely legs. Standing up once again, she clipped each stocking to the garter belt.

Sorry, this beginning just doesn't 'sit' right with me. I'm sure Crimson has the ability to do better, for she has a fine erotic imagination.

 

[Guest]

Sorry, this beginning just doesn't 'sit' right with me.

Care to explain that a little bit? It was the last revision done to the story because the original beginning wasn't that great. Is it just not descriptive enough? Critique doesn't help a whole lot if you don't give an explanation of *why* you feel the way you do.

Btw, thanks for what I believe was a compliment at the end.

CM (whose brain is slowly turning to mush as she desperately tries to get her NaNo story to 50,000 words before the deadline.....)

 

[Pure]

Hi Crimson M,

That's great if you're surviving the writing contest. It's a great challenge.

I'm not of the 'descriptive' school that flourishes around here. I'm put off by too many, and routine adjectives, like 'ample' and 'shapely' in the little example. My tastes are not shared around here, and I can't fault the 'descriptive' authors who please those who are into that kind of writing.

Yes, I do mean to compliment your erotic imagination, and the carefulness with which you write, even if the prose of that story is occasionally 'over the top,' in my weird and idiosyncratic view.

Best,
J.

 

[Guest]

Thank you for the explanation and thank you for the compliment.